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CHAP. IX.

SOCIETY AT HOME AND ABROAD.

“I thought him the most courteous and gentleman-like man I had ever seen. What a charm it is! and what a duty too ! We are so apt to forget that “Thou shalt do no murder,' and ‘Be courteous,' are commandments written in the same book, and equally binding.”—LADY C. LONG.

“ MANNERS make the man.”-OLD PROVERB.

Among the enigmas which the world constantly presents for the solution of those who look beyond the mere surface of things, is the different appreciation in which the younger members of a society are held by those who are but slightly acquainted with them, and those who have had the opportunity of constantly meeting them.

We see a handsome, showy, accomplished girl, sought for in parties, admired, flattered, caressed—every thing except, beloved. She shines, perhaps, for several seasons, the belle of every ball-room—the pride of all the picnics –

earnestly sought as a partner in a waltz or a polka, and fêted and admired to her heart's content. And yet, in all that time, among all her many flatterers, she has, perhaps, not one friend. How is this? Her young companions do not seek to make her their confidante; the dimmed eye of the aged does not brighten at her approach. No one seems to be the happier or the better for her presence; she is not necessary to any human being.

Another girl, on the contrary, has perhaps far fewer natural advantages; she is neither so handsome nor so accomplished; and yet children cling to her the moment she enters the room, and a smile gleams on the pallid face of age, and parents, and brothers, and sisters feel as if a sunbeam had made its appearance in the depth of a winter's gloom. It is difficult to define in what her charm consists.

“But take her altogether,” as some people say,
“She has got”—what ?—“such a winning way!'

It will not be difficult, however, for the close observer to discover that the absence of selfishness is the foundation of that varied grace which so enchants her friends. The fact is, that in the formation of manners, as in every other part of our conduct to our fellow-creatures, the Golden Rule is the only one that will be found of universal application, the sole safe foundation for any superstructure, “ to love our neighbour as ourselves.” What a comprehensive guide to our thoughts and our actions! What a test by which to try our conduct ! No wonder that it is said to be “more than whole burnt-offerings and sacrifices."

But what has all this to do with manners and society ? Literally everything. This rule, short and simple as it is, will, if followed, refine the manners and the mind so that we can never be otherwise than loved by those with whom we have intercourse. Let us see to what it is likely to lead. We are in the society of a person whose age and infirmities make them objects for respectful care and attention. We place the cushion for the feet, and the pillow to support the feeble frame; and we attend respectfully to the tales of times long passed, and minister kindly to the wants of our aged friend. And

all this is done quietly, unostentatiously, as a matter of duty; because we are commanded to “honour the face of the old man,” and we feel that so we should like them to act to us in similar circumstances. We are doing only our dutyno more; but how rich is the reward! How many a tale or anecdote full of interest, how many a lesson of wisdom, is learnt by a duteous grandchild thus attending a feeble parent! For whilst the body decays the mind often increases in power and strength, and acquires an extraordinary beauty.

“ The soul's dark cottage, battered and decayed,

Lets in new lights through chinks that time has made.”

“Stronger by weakness wiser men become
As they draw near to their eternal home;
Leaving the old- both worlds at once they view,
That stand upon the threshold of the new."

But supposing that the duties we pay to the aged are not in themselves sources of pleasure

—that querulousness and infirmity make the sufferer impatient even of attention will the girl who is imbued with the spirit of Christian courtesy therefore shrink from them ? That

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beautiful golden rule still exhorts her to "do as she would be done by;" and in the consciousness of fulfilling her duty, she finds a rich reward. And so, in every situation in life, courtesy (or politeness, as it is commonly termed), will be practised from principle, and not merely to please strangers. Where the former is the case, the absence of selfishness cannot fail to be observed, even by bystanders. Where civility is exercised only to strangers, and our own nearest and dearest are not under its influence, we are very far from having acquired real politeness. Indeed, the poet Cowper accurately describes this state of things when he says

“Our polished manners are a mask we wear,

And at the bottom, barbarous still and rude,
We are restrained, indeed, but not subdued.”

Perhaps much of the evil of which I am now complaining arises from an undue appreciation of the claims of society in comparison with those of our own family. Courtesy, like charity, ought to begin in our home, though neither should end there ; but too many young ladies keep their best manners and dresses together, only to be