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Lucy. Hang the beggar's cur-Thy master is but a mumper in love, lies canting at the gate ; but never dares presume to enter the house.
Set. Thou art the wicket to thy mistress's gate, to be opened for all comers. In fine, thou art the high road to thy mistress.
Lucy. Beast, filthy toad, I can hold no longer, look and tremble.
[Unmasks. Set. How, Mrs. Lucy!
Lucy. I wonder thou hast the impudence to look me in the face.
Set. Adsbud, who is in fault, mistress of mine? Who flung the first stone ? Who undervalued my function ? and who the devil could know you by instinct ?
Lucy. You could know my office by instinct, and be hanged, which you have slandered most abominably. It vexes me not what you said of my person ; but that my innocent calling should be exposed and scan. dalized I cannot bear it.
Set. Nay, faithi, Lucy, I'm sorry; I'll own myself to blame, though we were both in fault as to our offices Come, I'll make you any reparation.
Lucy. To be brief then ; what is the reason your master did not appear to-day, according to the summons I brought him?
Set. To answer you as briefly He has a cause to be tried in another court.
Lucy. Come, tell me in plain terms, how forward he is with Araminta.
Set. Tdo forward to be turned back Though he's a little in disgrace at present about a kiss which he forced. You and I can kiss, Lucy, without all that. Lucy. Stand off
-He's a precious jewel.
Lücy. Where is he now?
Lucy. Remember to-day's behaviour-Let me see you with a penitent face.
Set. What, no token of amity, Lucy? You and I do n't use to part with dry lips.
Lucy. No, no, avauntI'll not be slabber'd and kiss'd now -I'm not i'th humour. Set. I'll not quit you so
-I'll follow and put you into the humour.
Enter Sir Joseph Witrol and Bluff. Bluff. And so out of your unwonted generosity.
Sir Fos. And good-nature, back; I am good natur'd and I can't help it.
Bluf. You have given him a note upon Fondlewife for a hundred pound.
Sir Jos. Ay, ay, poor fellow, he ventured fair for it.
Bluff. You have disobliged me in it--for I have occasion for the money, and if you would look me in the face again and live; go, and force him to re-deliver
you the note
-and bring it me hither. I'll stay here for you.
Sir Jos. You may stay 'till the day of judgment then, by the Lord Harry. I know better things too than to be run through the guts for a hundred pound. Why, I gave that hundred pound for being saved; an d'ye think, an there were no danger, I 'll be so ungrateful to take it from the gentleman again? Blijf. Well, go to him from me -Tell him, I
say, he must refund -or bilbo 's the word, and slaughter will ensue---if he refuse, tell him
-but whisper that tell him -I'll pink his soul
but whisper that softly to him.
Sir Fos. So softly, that he shall never hear on 't, I warrant you Why, what a devil's the matter, bully, are you mad ! Or, d'ye think I'm mad? Agad, for my part, I don't love to be the messenger of ill. news; 't is an ungrateful office -So tell him yourself.
Bluff. By these hilts, I believe he frightened you into this composition. I believe you gave it him out of fear, pure paltry fear-Confess.
Sir Jos. No, no, hang 't, I was not afraid, neither though I confess he did in a manner snap me up--yet I can't say that it was altogether out of fear, but partly to prevent inischieffor
was a de ish choleric fellow. And if my choler had been up too, agad, there would have been mischief done, that's flat. And yet, I believe, if you had been by, I would as soon have let him a'had a hundred of my teeth,
Adsheart, if he should come now, just when I'm angry, I'd tell him
Enter BELLMOUR and SHARPER. Bell. Thou 'rt a lucky rogue; there 's your benefactor, you ought to return him thanks, now you have received the favour.
Sharp. Sir Joseph-your note was accepted, and the money paid at sight. I am come to return my thanks.
Sir Jos. They won't be accepted so readily as the bill, sir.
Bel. I doubt the knight repents, Tom-He looks like the knight of the sorrowful face.
Sharp. This is a double generosity-Dn me a kindness, and refuse
my thanks -But I hope you are not offended, that I offered them, without any offence to
Sir Jos. May be I am, sir; may be I am not, sirmay be I am both, sir.-What then? I hope I may be offended.
Sharp. Hey-day! Captain, what's the matter? You
Bluff. Mr. Sharper, the matter is plain—Sir Joseph has found out your trick, and does not care to be put upon, being a man of honour.
Sharp. Trick, sir!
Sir Jos. Ay, trick, sir, and won't be put upon, sir, being a man of honour, sir; and so, sir
Sbarp. Heark'e, Sir Joseph, a word with ye-in
consideration of some favours lately received, I would not have you draw yourself into a premunire, by trusting to that sign of a man there—that pop-gun, charged with wind.
Sir Jos. 0, lord, o, lord, captain, come justify yourself I'll give him the lie, if you'll stand to it.,
Sharp. Nay, then I'll be beforehand with you, take that -Oafe.
[Cuffs him. Sir Jos. Captain, will you see this? Won't you pink his soul ?
Bluff. Hush, 'tis not so convenient now I shall find a time.
Sharp. What do you mutter about a time, rascal--You were the incendiary--- There's to put you in mind of your time-A memorandum. [Kicks him.
Bluf. Oh, this is your time, sir, you had best make use on't. Sharp. I gad, and so I will. There's again for you.
[Kicks him. Bluff. You are obliging, sir, but this is too public a place to thank you in: but in your ear
-You are to be seen again.
Sharp. Ay, thou inimitable coward, and to be felt ---as for example.
(Kicks him. Bell. Ha, ha, ha, pr‘ythee come away; 'tis scandalous to kick this puppy, unless a man were cold, and had no other way to get himself a heat.
[Exit Bell. and Sharp. Bluff. Very well -very fine-But 'tis no mate ter
Is not this fine, Sir Joseph ?