L.200,000; and that the Prime Editor, toms for Scotland, with a salary or the Subordinates, and Contributors, L.3000 ; and Wastle, whose tenant pocket the remaining L.200,000. A very have given over paying rents, has sig . few minutes consideration will suffice nified his willingness to accept the to point out the manifold advantages Home-Department, at L.4000. Nom of such an arrangement. we four, Christopher North, the In the first place, an instantaneous English Opium-Eater, Tickler , and shove will be given to the paper ma- Wastle, will, we hold, conduct the Dufactories of the kingdom. Mr Cow. affairs of a great Magazine with more an will become one of the richest men ability than all the literary men of in Scotland. What Mr Ballantyne Europe in a slump. The "Odontist , will do, we know not. He must build with his characteristic generosity, has new premises about the size of the refused a salary; his practice among Glasgow Barracks, and set a hundred our fair subscribers being now at once presses at work, otherwise he never so extensive and so lucrative, that procan print the Magazine, and also the bably in a few years he will retire Scotch Novels. What a shew of de- from the profession, and dedicate himvils ! How the imps will pour forth self entirely to the completion of his into daylight when the great flood- great National Work. O'Doherty has gates of Pandemonium are Aung open, solicited the situation of Traveller for and they all issue out to dinner over Orders, and to collect the outstanding the Old Town, seeking what they may rural debts; and as they are not likely devour! Devils live cheap; at their to exceed L.2 or 3000 a year, we shall ordinaries we have heard they dine not baulk the Ensign in any rational devilish well at twopence an imp. As scheme of personal aggrandizement . to our worthy printer, he will be en- e's wishes are moderate-a cottage at abled in a few years to purchase Fleurs Lasswade, with 1000l. a-year, and he -No, that is entailed—but any im- shall have it. Money goes a long way in mense property in the neighbourhood Germany, and Kemperhausen, who is of Kelso ;-and sure we are that now at Frankfort-on-the-Main , can he will make a generous landlord. smoke his pipe and get maudlin with Suppose that our printer clears a penny Müllneron 500. The two Mullions have on each number, why, that amounts asked a few thousands by way of loan , to upwards of L.5000 per annum; but as they have opened a splendid provision say twopence, and there is L.10,000 warehouse at the head of Leith Walk, per annum, neat. But let us leave and let their shew of hams tell the these calculations, in the general be- world the extent of our generosity. lief that paper-makers, printers, com But while we shall thus take care positors, pressmen, and demons, are all of all our resident contributors, our about to wallow in wealth, and let us remuneration to all our literary friends shortly consider the external circum- will be on a scale of proportionate mag. stances of the Editor and his merry nificence. We shall henceforth pay fifty men. guineas a sheet for common articles , and We have seen, then, that L.200,000 shall not bogle at a hundred for prime are to be set aside for a genteel and A number will contain about 30 sheets handsome remuneration to ourselves -our annual presents to non-resident and the men of talents over whom we contributors may be somewhere about preside. We prefer a moderate sala- J..40,000.; so that a considerable share ry, if fixed, to a much more splen- of profit will still be left in our hands did thing, uncertain ; and therefore A serious question arises, how is it 80 we are willing to accept L.20,000. be employed ? In the first place , we The English Opium-eater must be- intend to found twenty travelling concome, as far as residence will make tributorships, at a salary of 1000l. each him so, a Scottish segar-smoker; and, per annum. We knox that, notwithas minister for foreign affairs, have the standing what is said to the contrary goodness to accept L.10,000 a-year. If by gentlemen shabby genteel , travell . this seems shabby, he has only to drop ing abroad cannot be done cheaper with a hint, and a few thousands additional, any comfort. Triese travellingcontribuhe well knows, can be no object to us. tors shall be sent all over Europe , Asia, Tickler shall be Collector of the Cus- Amcrica, and Africa. Their discoveries will first of all be given to the public several corps d'armee, which hitherin the Magazine, and then in the usual to have been acting without conquartos. This enlightened zeal and cert, and sometimes for one power, liberality of ours in the cause of science and sometimes for another, must come must make the African Association feel over with colours flying and drums themselves“ pretty damned considera- beating to the Emperor of the North. ble cheap,” to use the expressive phra- All little differences of opinion must be seology of Upper Canada. No travel. laid aside ; and the united Power may ling-contributor will be taken under 17 conquer the world. or above 70 years of age, and he must Taylor and Hessey, Colburn, Sir speak instinctively all the languages Richard, Messrs Nichols and Sons, known since the demolition of the Mr Asperne's heirs, and Messrs Tower of Babel, like the late Dr John Macready, Skelly, and Muckersy, Leyden. must all hoist their flags under the Notwithstanding all these princely great banner of the Sultan Ebony. benefactions, a balance we find is still Let them divide the £200,000 annong upon our hands, and we confess that them as they chuse, and let them we feel considerable difficulty in fixing spend it as they chuse, only our friendon its application. Odoherty would ship for Mr Blackwood impels us to fain endow a Foundling Hospital or a offer him a few hints on the applicaMagdalen Asylum ; but the policy of tion of his moiety. With the other such buildings is more than question- proposed proprietors, being personally able. The Odontist proposes founding a unacquainted, they might think we College at Dinningyst, and Z is anxious were using an unwarrantable liberty that Missionaries should be sent to with them, were we to interfere with propagate Christianity among the na- any of their private concerns. tives of Cockaigne. But we shall let To Mr Blackwood, then, we have our readers into the secret a few pages to propose, first, that he present farther on. Michael Linning with a promise of We have now spoken slightly of the £30,000, which is all that is now probable application of parts and parwanting to complete the subscriptionticles of two-thirds of the gross total money requisite for the erection of of the returns. We come now to al. the Parthenon on the Calton-hill. It lude to the remaining L.200,000, is a most absurd thing in us to call which will become the annual netting Edinburgh the Modern Athens, and of the Proprietors and Trade. And here yet not to have the Parthenon to shew, we are necessarily led into some de- in support of our modest and approtails. priate appellation. Such is the public The readers of this our very hasty spirit of all ranks of people in Scotland, and rude Prospectus will have percei- that the subscription amounts to seved, probably, by this time, that we veral thousand pounds; and Mr Blackintend there shall be no other Maga- wood, we are sure, will never think of zine but our own. The One is to su- grudging so paltry a sum. All that he persede, or rather to include, all will require in return, will be to have others; and we feel confident that a bis name either inscribed in letters of single moment's reflection will induce gold, or engraved on a marble slab on all the proprietors, editors, and con the front of the chief portico, and tributors of the most respectable Ma- perhaps his bust set by the side of gazines in the kingdom, to join the that of Minerva. It does not, howGreat Concern. They had as well be ever, seem unreasonable, on second swallowed up at once with a good thoughts, that he should draw the grace. It is for their own advantage rents of all the bottoms in the seats that they should be so. Their currents of the Presbyterian Kirk, which, we must join the vortex. understand, is judiciously to be placed There are in Britain just six Maga- as a kernel in the shell of the Grecian zines, as far as we know, worthy of Temple; and, as we shall get a call joining the Grand Coalition—Taylor inoderated in favour of the Rev. Mr and Hessey's, Colburn's, the Gentle- L******, to preach in the Parthenon, man's, Sir Richard's, the European, Ebony may, after all, get 3 per cent and the Scotch Episcopal. All these for his coin. more. In the second place, we humbly eldest boys will be soon able for a propose, that the Publisher make a very responsible situation, they must loan to Government, on lower terms be the Head Clerks of the Establishthan Ricardo or Rothschild would do, ment, under the taking title of “ Twins for the purpose of annually clearing of the Tunnel.” and repairing the Caledonian Canal. In the fourth place, Blackwood must In the third place, we humbly pro- give a helping hand to government, to pose that he shall dig a tunnel below enable them to put the finishing stone the Frith of Forth, connecting our to the Plymouth Breakwater. shores with the kingdom of Fife. Well, all is fixed, and a great deal This is a speculation that would pay But what become of all the well. We undertake ourselves to light contributors of the six Engulphed the tunnel by a contrivance of our own Magazines ? Not a hair of one of their that will astonish the scientific world, heads shall be wet. We take them all and put gas into bad odour. Mr Black- on trial, at fifty guineas a sheet. wood has many sons; and as his two I lift my eyes upon the radiant Moon, L'Envoy TEN VOLUMES ARE COMPLETED! AND BETWEEN SEVEN AND EIGHT THOUSAND PAGES THEY CONTAIN; PAGES OF JOCULAR OR SOLEMN STRAIN, OF CRITICISM TRUE, OF SMILING WIT, of BoIST'ROUS HUMOUR, MERRIMENT EXQUISITE, FIRM HAVE WE STOOD TO BRITAIN'S MUCH-LOVED NAME, HAVE SOUGHT BY WORD OR DEED TO WORK HER SHAME, WE O'ER THE EARTH HAVE WON IMMORTAL FAME. INDEX TO VOLUME X. ABSTRACT, brief, of Mr OʻFogarty's Blackwood, Mr, letter of Mr Coleridge to, 253 Blaize Fitztravesty, A Midsummer Night's late Rumour of a Change of, 743. Na- Blue and Yellow, learning and liberality of, 411 Characters of Living Authors, by them- Cheese, civilization, and north country bal. Christmas Chit-chat, 493 Song 1. Comparisons are Odious, a Christophe, late Emperor of Hayti, letter Christopher Agonistes, 409 Cochrane, Captain, remarks on his journey Cape of Asia, 741 Coleridge, Mr, letter from, 243. Selec- ib. Letter I. From a professional friend, On the philosophical import of the words Object and Subject, 246. III. To Mr Blackwood, 253. IV. To a Junior Soph, at Cambridge, 255. Substance of a dia- retort courteous, 415. The Quip-modest bridge, 259 Columbus Secundus, the voyages and tra- vels of, 33. Children's plays in Edin- burgh, ib. Those of the Boys, 34, of the Girls, 36. A Scene in the Grass- burgh Fish Market, 206. A chapter of blunders, 210. The King's birth-day 5 C 758 in Edinburgh, 304. Columbus mista- Edinburgh Review, on the learning and li. berality of the, 411. On the rise, pro. Emigrants' voyage to Canada, the, 455 English Literature, on the personalities of the Augustine age of, 312 Epistles familiar, from an old friend with doctrines of necessity and predestination, Expedition against the Pirates of the Per. sian gulf, proceedings of the, 151 of the preparations for, 8, and the cere. Expostulatory Round-robin from 14 con. nour of, in Edinburgh, 26 Falkland Palace, account of a visit to, 61 Familiar Epistles from an old friend with On Anastasius, by Lord Byron, 200. On the personalities of the Augustine age of English literature, 312 Fifeana, No. 1. 60. Visit to Falkland Palace, 61 Fisheries, remarks on those of Shetland, 728 Floating Beacon, the, a scene on the coast Fogarty O'Fogarty, letter from, inclosing Sonnet and lines to, 437. Brief Ab- stract of his journal, 438 Funeral of the late Queen, remarks on the and Chaucer, remarks on, 295 Gall and Spurzheim, remarks on an in. the system of, 682 General Epistle, 476 Giorno, Parini's, remarks on, 525 the minister of, 286 viding a mansion-house and state-equi. of, 4. His account of the preparations Gracious Rain, 186 H. Hayti, and its late Emperor Christophe, letter relative to, 545 Historical view of the rise, progress, de. view, 668 lloræ Cantabrigiensis, No. VII. 352 |
