Pagina-afbeeldingen
PDF
ePub

embrace this early opportunity to record it. Situated so favorably as they were for embracing religion, I have felt much anxiety for their spiritual welfare; and often have attempted to commend their cases to him whose sovereign grace alone can change the strong heart, and bestow that peace which springs from believing in Jesus, and a hope full of immortality.

“My most sanguine hopes are now realized. I have abundant testimony in proof of the happy change, and though deprived of the privilege of being a personal witness, yet I do rejoice, yea and will rejoice in the glorious event. Shall the angels of God rejoice over the conversion of sinners ? and shall not his professing children mingle their more feeble notes with the general songs of praise ? I do indulge the hope, that if our lives are prolonged, I shall yet behold with my eyes and hear for myself, what I have heard from others; that I shall mingle Christian congratulations with them, and offerings of grateful praise to Him who has caused us to hope in his mercy.

June 2d.–Again witnessed the return of that auspicious day on which the pious, self at a future day accompany one of the persons here referred to on a mission to extend the blessings of the gospel to the heathen of India!

in all parts of the Christian world, meet to pour out their prayers for the extension of that religion which breathes peace on earth and good will to men,' and ascribes

glory to God in the highest,' for the gift of Jesus Christ to a fallen, sinful, miserable, apostate race. I have been favored with an opportunity of attending the monthly prayer meeting in this place, and think it was much the best meeting I have enjoyed since I came from W. The desires of sincere Christians are similar in every place. They speak the same language, are beset with the same temptations, and are supported by the same hopes. Surely it is a privilege to meet with such, to listen to their counsels, their admonitions and instructions. The subject contemplated this evening is an important one-- the danger of being corrupted from the simplicity of Christ.

July 3d.—Just returned from a lecture preparatory to communion by the Rev. Mr. C. For two days I have labored under an unusual depression of spirits, and for a considerable time I have been deprived, in a measure, of the light of Immanuel's presence. But the truths delivered this afternoon have been sweetly refreshing and animating. “Jesus and him crucified' was set forth, as the only basis of hope for wretched man, and faith in him as the only method of his justification with God. May my soul be nourished and receive new life and strength for my daily warfare, and may my mind be impressed more feelingly with a sense of the perishing state of unbelievers.

.July 6th.—This day I have united with a few of the church here in celebrating the dying love of our ascended Redeemer. Many were debarred this precious privilege on account of unfavorable weather. I am daily called to take the cross in a peculiar manner in my present circumstances. Saviour, I commend myself to thee, pleading and strivir.g to rely on the promise, • As thy day is, so shall thy strength be.'

Dec. 8th.Grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. This is a positive command of the inspired volume : I select it as suitable for meditation to-day, as it completes a year since I publicly took the covenant of God upon me. I desire to put the question to my heart and conscience, What progress in a divine life have I made during this year? The Lord has been pleased to plant me in a well cultivated vineyard, and has watched with a scrutinizing eye to see what fruit I would bring forth. But I have not surely made that improvement I ought, and might have made. I have not sought out and improved opportunities for doing good according to the ability I possessed. Let this be for my constant humiliation. And if I have been enabled to do any thing for the glory of God, his shall be all the praise. I would now form some new resolutions for my future conduct, and strive to give a strict adherence to them. Should my life and health be spared, I intend to select a chapter each morning for a subject of meditation, committing to memory one or more important verses to employ the vacant moments through the day. I would also be more strict in the government of my thoughts, and watchful over my general conduct; particularly when likely to be exposed to temptations. I would also be more strict and constant in self-examination, and strive to be more fervent in secret devotion.

Jipril 7th, 1821.–For various reasons I have been induced to neglect writing the exercises of my mind for a long period; yet I must think that it has a tendency to cherish a devout spirit, frequently to record the mercies I receive, the sins and follies I dis cover in my heart, and the hopes and evi

dences of divine favor I am permitted to indulge and receive. Especially does a review of former experience tend to strengthen faith, and trust in the divine promises. And, O Lord, can I not in sincerity say, I wish it to be entirely secret, and merely for my own benefit ?*

" When I review what I last wrote, recollect what were then my feelings, and compare my life since with them, I am constrained to take shame to myself, and acknowledge that I have not been faithful as I ought to have been, and deserve not a name in the church. And I would admire that long suffering and mercy that has permitted me, after such repeated provocations, again to come to the table of the Lord. May I have grace now to take the whole Christian armor, and fight against every lust, every temptation, and be decided, and jealous for the honor of God. O great Redeemer, help me now to consecrate every talent to thee.

“ Nov. 21 st. ---Since the above date I have passed through various trials. A part of

* Mrs. A's Journal, written previous to leaving America was found in her writing-desk after her decease. It was written and used “merely for her own benefit.” While she lived it was kept “entirely secret," nor would it ever have been known to her most intimate friends but from her sudden death.

« VorigeDoorgaan »