myself, because we have no temptation to be guilty; and though we have reason to feel grateful for the amiable propensities implanted in us by nature, we have no opportunity of exercising the nobler powers of the mind. It is in the hour of severe trial only that we appear what we really are. It is your lot, my friend, to be thus proved; and though the conflict is now most painful, the superior firmness of your mind will support you; you will never repent your present decision, though unpleasant events should occur, for you will recollect that with me you could not have been happy. And for myself, Courtenay, not even your eloquence should have induced me to accept your hand under your present circumstances. Feel no uneasiness with respect to my situation, for I am with a worthy friend, who will not desert me.To pay you the trite, cold compliment of wishing you happy with Miss Cremur, would be to insult your feelings: and yet, Courtenay, Courtenay, I pray most fervently, most anxiously for your happiness. I have not selfishly loved you, nor could any circumstance but your imputed unworthiness lessen my interest in your favour. Accept, then, my warmest friendship; and allow me to subscribe myself "Your affectionate sister, "HELEN COLEBY." CHAP. CHAP. XI. Kind rest, perhaps, may hush my woes a little ; THOMSON. ON N the evening before Courtenay's departure with his destined bride and her friends for Alvondown, the above epistle was presented to him. "Oh, my God!" thought he, as he perused it, "are these the sensations of a bridegroom ?—are these the sensations I once expected to experience from such an approaching event?How are my prospects changed!-Helen was the prize I sought to win; her ingenuous and virtuous sentiments could never satiate; satiate; oh, she is a reward far above my deserts!" Unable to support such reflections, he quitted his lodging, and wandered through the streets, without knowing whither he intended to bend his steps; he inadvertently entered the street in which Lady Elvira resided. "In this house is centered all that can be valuable to me on earth," he thought, as he mournfully looked on the building. The spot seemed to rivet him, till the gay faces, and sprightly conversations of the passengers interrupted his cogitations, and shewed him the folly of indulging them at such a place. He painfully contrasted their feelings with his own, at least as far as external observation could determine. He was not sufficiently collected on the present occasion to moralize, or he would have remembered that boisterous mirth is no proof of peace within, and is too often assumed to hide the canker-worm of care, whose gnawings devour the heart, while deceitful smiles illumine the countenance. As As he proceeded, he recollected that he had engaged to spend the evening with Mrs. Ashton, and he walked slowly on towards her dwelling; but as he approached the door, he hesitated. This evening," he thought, "is sacred to my Helen; even duty cannot refuse this last sad indulgence." He returned, and at length entered his own apartment. Why may I not visit her?" he asked himself; "I am the brother and friend of her infancy; the interview cannot add to my own wretchedness, and perhaps she expects me.". The moment this idea presented itself, he hastened to Lady Elvira's, and enquired for Miss Coleby? He was told she was from home. Disappointed in this last hope, he again returned to his lodging; and as he felt unwell, he drank a glass of wine to revive his spirits; he thought it had a good effect, and he took a second; a third was taken to drink Helen's health, and as he swallowed it hastily, and had scarcely eaten any thing for the day, it affected his head; he, however, felt happier, and therefore |