Lee. Well, gentlemen-here comes Mr Torrington: you know him, I suppose, and will be satisfied with his security. Leech. O we'll take his bail for ten thousand pounds, my master-every body knows him to be a man of fortune. Lee. Give me leave to speak to him then, and I shall not be ungrateful for the civility. Leech. Well, we will-But hark'e, lads, look to the passes, that no tricks may be played upon travellers. Enter TORRINGTON. Lee. Mr Torrington, your most obedient. Lee. I have many apoligies to make, Mr Torrington, for presuming to stop a gentleman to whom I have not the honour of being known; yet, when I explain the nature of my business, sir, I shall by no means despair of an excuse. Tor. To the business, I beg, sir. Lee. You must know, sir, that the three gentlemen behind me, are three traders from Dantzick, men of considerable property, who, in the present distracted state of Poland, wish to settle with their families in this country. Tor. Dantzick traders.Ay, I see they are foreigners by their dress. them, let them follow me to my chambers, and I'll satisfy them directly. Lee. You are extremely kind, sir, and they shall attend you.-Gentlemen, will you be so good as to follow Mr Torrington to his chambers, and he'll satisfy you intirely. Wolf. Mind that. Con. Musha! the blessing of St Patrick upon that ould head of yours! Tor. What they speak English, do they? Lee. Very tolerably, sir.-Bred up general traders, they have a knowledge of several languages; and it would be highly for the good of the kingdom, if we could get more of them to settle among us. Tor. Right, young gentleman! the number of the people forms the true riches of a state; however, now-a-days, London itself is not only gone out of town, but England itself, by an unaccountable fatality, seems inclined to take up her residence in America. Lee. True, sir! and to cultivate the barbarous borders of the Ohio, we are hourly deserting the beautiful banks of the Thames. Tor. [Shaking him by the hand.] You must come and see me at my chambers, young gentleman; we must be better known to one another. Con. Do you mind that, you thieves?Lee. 'Twill be equally my pride and my hap Leech. Ay, now he is opening the affair. Lee. They want therefore to be naturalized-piness to merit that honour, sir. and have been recommended to me for legal advice. Tor. You are at the bar, sir? Lee. I have eat my way to professional honour some time, sir. Tor. Ay, the cooks of the four societies take care that the students shall perform every thing which depends upon; teeth, young gentleman. -The eating exercises are the only ones never dispensed with. Lee. I am, however, a very young barrister, Mr Torrington; and as the affair is of great importance to them, I am desirous, that some gentleman of eminence in the law should revise my poor opinion, before they make it a ground of any serious determination. Tor. You are too modest, young gentleman, to entertain any doubts upon this occasion, as nothing is clearer than the laws respecting the naturalization of foreigners. Con. Faith, the old gentleman smiles very good naturedly. Leech. I fancy he'll stand it, Crow, and advance the crop for the younker. Lee. To be sure, the laws are very clear to gentlemen of your superior abilities.-But I have candidly acknowledged the weakness of my own judgment to my clients, and advised them so warmly to solicit your opinion, that they will not be satisfied unless you kindly consent to oblige them. Tor. O, if nothing but my opinion will satisfy Tor. Let your friends follow me, sir!—and pray, do you call upon me soon; you shall see a little plan, which I have drawn up to keep this poor country, if possible, from undergoing a general sentence of transportation.-Be pleased to come along with me, gentlemen—I'll satisfy you. [Exit. Leech. Well, master! I wish you joy. You can't say but we behaved to you like gemmen! [Exeunt bailiffs. Lee. And if you were all three in the cart, I don't know which of you I would wish to have respited from execution. I have played Mr Torrington a little trick, Connolly; but the moment I come back I shall recover my reputation, if I even put myself voluntarily into the hands of those worthy genticmen.[Exit. Con. Musha! long life to you, old Shillaley! I don't wonder at your being afraid of a prison; for 'tis to be sure a blessed place to live in!-And now, let my thick skull consider, if there's any way of preventing this inferual duel.- -Suppose I have him bound over to the peace!-No, that will never do: it would be a shameful thing for a gentleman to keep the peace! besides, Ĭ must appear in the business, and people may then think, from my connection with him, that he has'n't honour enough to throw away his life!Suppose I go another way to work, and send an anonymous letter about the affair to Mrs Belville; they say, though she is a woman of quality, that no creature upon earth can be fonder of her hus band! Surely the good genius of Ireland put this scheme in my head. I'll about it this minute, and if there's but one of them kept from the field, I don't think that the other can be much hurt, when there will be no body to fight with him. [Erit. SCENE VII.-Changes to Captain SAVAGE'S lodgings. Enter CAPTAIN SAVAGE and BELVILLE. Capt. Sav. Why, faith, Belville, your detection, and so speedily too, after all the pretended sanctity of the morning, must have thrown you into a most humiliating situation. it Bel. Into the most distressing you can imagine. Had my wife raved at my falsehood, in the customary manner, I could have brazened out pretty tolerably; but the angel-like sweetness, with which she bore the mortifying discovery, planted daggers in my bosom, and made me, at that time, wish her the yeriest vixen in the whole creation. Capt. Sav. Yet, the suffering forbearance of a wife, is a quality, for which she is seldom allowed her merit. We think it her duty to put up with our falsehood, and imagine ourselves exceedingly generous in the main, if we practise no other method of breaking her heart. Bel. Monstrous! monstrous! from this moment, I bid an everlasting adieu to my vices: the generosity of my dear girl Enter a Servant to BELVILle. Ser. Here's a letter, sir, which Mr Spruce has brought you. Bel. Give me leave, Savage-Zounds! what an industrious devil the father of darkness is, when the moment a man determines upon a good action, he sends such a thing as this, to stagger his resolution! Capt. Sav. What have you got there? Bel. You shall know presently. Will let Spruce come in? you Capt. Sav. Where have you acquired all this ceremony? Bel. Bid Spruce come in. Ser. Yes, sir. Capt. Sav. Is that another challenge? Spruce. [Looking significantly at his master.] Is there no answer necessary, sir? Bel. I shall call at home myself, and give the necessary answer, Spruce. [Aside.] What can be the matter with him all on a sudden, that he is so cold upon the scent of wickedness? [Erit. Capt. Sav. And what answer do you propose making to it, Belville? Bel. Read the letter, and then tell me what I should do-You know Miss Walsingham's hand? Capt. Sav. O perfectly!—This is not—yes, it is her hand!—I have too many curst occasions to know it. [Aside Bel. What are you muttering about ?—Read the letter. 6 Capt. Sav. [Reads.]' If you are not intirely discouraged by our last conversation, from renewing the subject which then gave offenceBel. Which then gave offence--You see, Sarage, that it is not offensive any longer. Capt. Sav. 'Sdeath! you put me out. 'may, at the masquerade, this evening—’ Bel. You remember how carnest she was for the masquerade party? You Capt. Sav. Yes, yes, I remember it well: and I remember, also, how hurt she was this morning, about the affair of Miss Leeson. [Aside.] 'Have an opportunity of entertaining me' the strumpet! -0, Aside Bel. But mind the cunning with which she signs the note, for fear it should, by any accident, fall into improper hands. Capt. Sav. Ay, and you put it into very proper hands. [Aside.]' I shall be in the blue domino. -The signature is— 'YOU KNOW WHO' Bel. Yes, you know who. Capt. Sav. May be, however, she has only written this to try you. Bel. To try me! for what purpose? but if you read a certain postscript there, I fancy you'll be of a different opinion. Capt. Sav. If Mr Belville has any house of 'character to retire to, it would be most agreeable, as there could be no fear of interruption.' Bel. What do you say now?-Can you recommend me to any house of character, where we shall be free from interruption? Capt. Sav. O, curse her house of character! Bel. "Tis, upon my soul! but it came from a [Aside.] But surely, Belville, after your late debeautiful enemy, and dares me to give a meet-termined resolution to reforming to Miss Walsingham. Capt. Sav. How! Bel. Zounds! I forgot that. Cupt. Sav. After the unexampled sweetness of your wife's behaviour— Bel. Don't go on, Savage: there is something here [Putting his hand in his bosom.] which feels already not a little aukwardly. Capt. Suv. And can you still persist? Bel. I am afraid to answer your question. Capt. Sav. Where the plague are you flying? Bel. From the justice of your censure, liorace; my own is sufficiently severe; yet I see that I shall be a rascal again, in spite of my teeth; and good advice is only thrown away upon so incorrigible a libertine. [Exit. Capt. Sav. So, then, this diamond of mine proves a counterfeit after all, and I am really the veriest wretch existing, at the moment in which I conceived myself the peculiar favourite of fortune. O the cursed, cursed sex! I'll see her once more to upbraid her with her falsehood, then acquaint my father with her perfidy, to justify my breaking off the marriage, and tear her from my thoughts for ever. Enter a Servant. Ser. Sir, sir, sir!- Capt. Sav. Sir, sir, sir!-What the devil's the matter with the booby! Ser. Miss Walsingham, sir! Capt. Sav. Ah! what of her? Ser. Was this moment overturned at Mr Belville's door; and, John tells me, carried in a fit into the house. Capt. Sav. Ha! let me fly to her assistance ! [Exit. Ser. Ha, let me fly to her assistance-Ò, are you thereabouts? [Exit. SCENE VIII.-Changes to MR BELVILLE'S. Enter MRS BELVILLE, MISS WALSINGHAM, and LADY RACHEL MILDEW. Mrs Bel. But are you indeed recovered, my dear? Miss Wal. Perfectly, my dear- -I wasn't in the least hurt, though greatly terrified, when the two fools of coachmen contended for the honour of being first, and drove the carriages together with a violence incredible. Lady Rach. I sincerely rejoice at your escape; and now, Mrs Belville, as you promised to choose a dress for me, if I went in your party to the masquerade this evening, can you spare a quarter of an hour to Tavistock-street? Mrs Bel. I am loth to leave Miss Walsingham alone, lady Rachel, so soon after her fright. Miss Wal. Nay, I insist that you don't stay at home upon my account; and lady Rachel's company to the masquerade is a pleasure I have such an interest in, that I beg you won't delay a moment to oblige her. Mrs Bel. Well, then, I attend your ladyship. Lady Rach. You are very good; and so is Miss Walsingham. [Exit. Miss Wal. I wonder Captain Savage stays away so long! where can he be all this time?I die with impatience to tell him of my happy interview with the General. Enter a Servant. Ser. Captain Savage, madam. Miss Wal. Shew him in. [Exit Servant.] How he must rejoice to find his conjectures so fortunately realized! Enter CAPTAIN SAVAGE. Capt. Sav. So, madam, you have just escaped a sad accident? Miss Wal. And by that agreeable tone and countenance, one would almost imagine you were very sorry for my escape. Capt. Sav. People, madam, who doubt the kindness of others, are generally conscious of some defect in themselves. Miss Wal. Don't madam me, with this accent of indifference. What has put you out of humour? Capt. Sav. Nothing! Miss Wal. Are you indisposed? Capt. Sav. The crocodile! the crocodile! [Aside. Miss Wal. Do you go to the masquerade tonight? Capt. Sav. No; but you do. Miss Wal. Why not? Come, don't be ill-natured; I'm not your wife yet! Capt. Sav. Nor ever will be, I promise you! Miss Wal. What is the meaning of this very whimsical behaviour? Capt. Sav. The settled composure of her impuhow have I deserved this usage? dence is intolerable. [Aside.] Madam, madam! Miss Wal. Nay, sir, sir! how have I deserved it, if you go to that? Capt. Sav. The letter, madam!-the letter ! Miss Wal. What letter! Capt. Sav. Your letter; inviting a gallant from the masquerade to a house of character, madam! -What! you appear surprised? Miss Wal. Well I may, at so shameless an aspersion! Capt. Sav. Madam, madam, I have seen your letter! Your new lover could not keep your secret a moment. But I have nothing to do with you-and only come to declare my reasons for renouncing you everlastingly! Enter a Servant. Ser. General Savage, madam. Miss Wal. Shew him up. [Exit Ser.] I am glad he is come, sir! inform him of your resolution to break off the match, and let there be an end of every thing between us! Enter GENERAL SAVAGE. Gen. Sav. The news of your accident reached me but this moment, madam !—or I should have posted much sooner to reconnoitre your situation. My-aid-de-camp, however, has not been inattentive, I see! and, I dare say, his diligence will not be the least lessened, when he knows his obligations to you. Capt. Sav. Oh, sir, I am perfectly sensible of my obligations! and the consciousness of them, was one motive of my coming here! Gen. Sav. Then, you have made your acknowledgments to Miss Walsingham, I hope? Miss Wal. He has, indeed, general, said a great deal more than was necessary. Gen. Sav. That opinion proceeds from the liberality of your temper; for, 'tis impossible he can ever say enough of your goodness. Capt. Sav. So it is; if you knew but all, sir! Gen. Sav. Why, who can know more of the matter than myself? Miss Wal. This gentlemen, it seems, has something, generai Savage, very necessary for your information. Gen. Sav. How's this? Capt. Sav. Nay, sir, I only say, that, for some particular reasons, which I shall communicate to you at a more proper time, I must beg leave to decline the lady whose hand you kindly intended for me this morning. Gen. Sav. O, you must!Why, then, I hope you decline, at the same time, all pretension to every shilling of my fortune? It is not in my power to make you fight, you poltroon, but I can punish you for cowardice. Miss Wal. Nay, but, general, let me interpose here If he can maintain any charge against the lady's reputation, 'twould be very hard that he should be disinherited for a necessary atten tion to his honour. Capt. Sav. And if I don't make the charge good, I submit to be disinherited without murmuring. Gen. Sav. 'Tis false as hell! the lady is infinitely too good for you in every respect; and I undervalued her worth, when I thought of her for your wife. Miss Wal. I am sure the lady is much obliged to your favourable opinion, sir. Gen. Sav. Not in the least, madam; I only do her common justice. Capt. Sav. I cannot bear that you should be displeased a moment, sir; suffer me, therefore, to render the conversation less equivocal, and a few words will explain every thing. Gen. Suv. Sirrah, I'll hear no explanationar'n't my orders, that you should mary? Miss Wal. For my sake hear him, general Sa Gen. Sav. I am shocked at the brutality of the dog! he has no more principle than a suttler, and no more steadiness than a young recruit upon drill-But you shall have ample satisfaction: this very day I'll cut him off from a possibly of succeeding to a shilling of my fortune. He shall be as miserable as Miss Wal. Dear general, do you think the this would give me any satisfaction? Gen. Sav. How he became acquainted with my design, I know not; but I see plainly that his mutiny proceeds from his aversion to my mar rying again. Miss Wal. To your marrying again, sir! why should he object to that? Gen. Sav. Why, for fear I should have other children, to be sure. Miss Wal. Indeed, sir, it was not from that motive; and, if I can overlook his folly, you may be prevailed upon to forgive it. Gen. Sav. After what you have seen, justice should make you a little more attentive to your own interest, my lovely girl! Miss Wal. What! at the expence of his? Gen. Sav. In the approaching change of your situation, there may be a family of your own. Miss Wal. Suppose there should, sir; won't there be a family of his too? Gen. Sav. I care not what becomes of his family. Miss Wal. But, pray, let me think a little about it, general. Gen. Sav. 'Tis hard, indeed, when I was so desirous of promoting his happiness, that he should throw any thing in the way of mine. Miss Wal. Recollect, sir, his offence was wholly confined to me. Gen. Sav. Well, my love, and isn't it throwing an obstacle in the way of my happiness, when he abuses you so grossly for your readiness to marry me? Miss Wal. Sir! Gen. Sav. I see, with all your good nature, that this is a question you cannot rally against. Miss Wal. It is indeed, sir-What will become of me! [Aside. Gen. Sav. You seem suddenly disordered, my love! Miss Wal. Why, really, sir, this affair affects me strongly ! Gen. Sav. Well, it is possible, that, for your sake, I may not punish him with as much seve-. rity as I intended: in about an hour, I shall beg leave to beat up your quarters again with Mr Torrington; for 'tis necessary I should shew you some proof of my gratitude, since you have been so kindly pleased to honour me with a proof of your affection. Miss Wal. [Aside.] So, now indeed, we're in a hopeful situation! [Exeunt. Wolf. Yes, we are, sir. Leech. Only because you asked for our pa pers, sir. Tor. Why, what has this to do with them? Crow. Why, that's the warrant for arresting the young gentleman. Tor. What young gentleman? Wolf. Lord bless your heart, sir! that stopped you in the street, and that you bailed for the hundred and seventy pounds. Tor. I bailed for an hundred and seventy pounds! Leech. Sure, sir, you told me to follow you to your chambers, and you would satisfy us. Tor. Pray hear me, sir-ar'n't you a trader of Dantzick? Leech. I a trader! I am no trader, nor did I ever before hear of any such place. Tor. Perhaps this gentleman is Crow. Lord help your head, I was born in Claremarket, and never was farther out of town Tor. Because, if it is more agreeable to you, in my life than Brentford, to attend the Sheriff we'll talk in Latin? at the Middlesex election! Tor. And it may be that you don't want to Leech. We don't understand Latin, sir. Tor. I thought you generally conversed in that be naturalized? language abroad. Crow. No, nor at home neither, sir: there is a language we sometimes talk in, called slang. Tor. A species of the ancient Sclavonic, I suppose? [To WOLF. Wolf. For what, my master? I am a liveryman of London already, and have a vote, besides, for the four counties. Tor. Well, gentlemen, having been so good as to tell me what you are not, add a little to the Leech. No, its a little rum tongue, that we un-obligation, and tell me what you are? derstand among von another Tor. I never heard of it before-but to business, gentlemen-the constitution of your country is at present very deplorable, I hear? Wolf. Why, indeed, sir, there never was a greater cry against people in our way. Tor. But you have laws, I suppose, for the regulation of your trade? Leech. To be sure we have, sir: nevertheless, ve find it very difficult to carry it on. Crow. We are harassed by so many oppressions Tor. What, by the Prussian troops? Crow. The Prussian troops, sir!-Lord bless you, no! by the courts of law; if ve make never so small a mistake in our duties. Tor. Then your duties are very high, or very numerous Leech. I am afraid we don't understand one another, sir Tor. I am afraid so, too-Pray, where are your papers, gentlemen? Leech. Here's all the papers we have, sirYou'll find every thing right Tor. I dare say I shall. [Reads.] Middlesex to wit'-Why, this is a warrant from the Sheriff's office to arrest some body! Crow. To be sure it is, sir Tor. And what do you give it to me for? Wolf. To shew that we have done nothing contrary to law, sir. Tor. Who supposes that you have? VOL. II. Leech. Why, sir, the warrant that we have shewed you, tells that ve are sheriff's officers. Tor. Sheriff's officers are you?-O-ho!-Sheriff's officers!-then I suppose you must be three very honest gentlemen? Crow. Sir!-we are as honest Tor. As sheriff's officers usually are— -Yet could you think of nobody, but a man of the law, for the object of your conspiracy? Leech. Sir, we don't understand what you mean? Tor. But I understand what you mean, and therefore I'll deal with you properly. Wolf. I hope, sir, you'll pay us the money, for we can't go till the affair is certainly settled in some manner. Tor. O, you can't?—why, then, I will pay you— But it shall be in a coin you won't like, depend upon it-Here, Mr Molesworth |