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Sir Fran. Ah, my lady! my lady! this comes of your journey to London: but now I'll have a frolic of my own, madam; therefore pack up your trumpery this very night; for, the moment my horses are able to crawl, you and your brats shall make a journey into the country again. Lady Wrong. Indeed, you are mistaken, sir Francis-I shall not stir out of town, yet, I promise you.

Sir Fran. Not stir? Waunds, madam

Man. Hold, sir! If you'll give me leave a little-I fancy I shall prevail with my lady to think better on't.

Sir Fran. Ah, cousin, you are a friend, indeed!

Man. [Apart to my lady.] Look you, madam, as to the favour you designed me, in sending this spurious letter inclosed to my lady Grace, all the revenge I have taken, is to have saved your son and daughter from ruin. Now, if you will take them fairly and quietly into the country again, I will save your ladyship from ruin.

Lady Wrong. What do you mean, sir? Man. Why, sir Francis shall never know what is in this letter; look upon it. How it came into my hands, you shall know at leisure.

Lady Wrong. Ha!-my billet-doux to the count! and an appointment in it! I shall sink with confusion!

Man. What shall I say to sir Francis, madam?

Lady Wrong. Dear sir, I am in such a trembling! preserve my honour, and I am all obedience. [Apart to MANLY. Man. Sir Francis-my lady is ready to receive your commands for her journey, whenever you please to appoint it.

Sir Fran. Ah, cousin, I doubt I am obliged to you for it.

Man. Come, come, sir Francis; take it as you find it. Obedience in a wife is a good thing, though it were never so wonderful! And now, sir, we have nothing to do but to dispose of this gentleman.

Count Bas. Mr Manly! sir! I hope you won't ruin me!

Man. Did you forge this note for five hundred pounds, sir?

Count Bas. Sir-I see you know the world, and, therefore, I shall not pretend to prevaricate -But it has hurt nobody yet, sir; I beg you will not stigmatise me; since you have spoiled my fortune in one family, I hope you won't be so cruel to a young fellow, as to put it out of my power, sir, to make it in another, sir.

Man. Look you, sir, I have not much time to waste with you: but, if you expect mercy yourself, you must shew it to one you have been cruel to.

Count Bas. Cruel, sir!

Man. Have you not ruined this young wo

man?

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Count Bas. Hold, sir; since you are pleased to give me my choice, I will not make so ill a compliment to the lady, as not to give her the preference.

Man. It must be done this minute, sir: the chaplain you expected is still within call. Count Bas. Well, sir,- since it must be SO -Come, spouse-I am not the first of the fraternity, that has run his head into one noose, to keep it out of another.

Myr. Come, sir, don't repine: marriage is, at worst, but playing upon the square.

Count Bas. Ay, but the worst of the match, too, is the devil.

Man. Well, sir, to let you see it is not so bad as you think it, as a reward for her honesty, in detecting your practices, instead of the forged bill you would have put upon her, there's a real one of five hundred pounds to begin a new honey moon with. [Gives it to MYRTILLA.

Count Bas. Sir, this is so generous an actMan. No compliments, dear sir-I am not at leisure now to receive them. Mr Constable, will you be so good as to wait upon this gentleman into the next room, and give this lady in marriage to him?

Con. Sir, I'll do it faithfully.

Count Bas. Well, five hundred will serve to make a handsome push with, however.

[Exeunt COUNT BASSET, MYRTILLA, and Constable.

Sir Fran. And that I may be sure my family's rid of him for ever-come, my lady, let's even take our children along with us, and be all witnesses of the ceremony.

[Exeunt SIR FRANCIS, LADY WRONGHEAD, MISS and SQUIRE.]

Man. Now, my lord, you may enter.

Enter LORD and LADY TOWNLY, and LADY GRACE.

Lord Town. So, sir, I give you joy of your negociation.

Man. You overheard it all, I presume? Lady Grace. From first to last, sir. Lord Town. Never were knaves and fools better disposed of.

Man. A sort of poetical justice, my lord, not much above the judgment of a modern comedy,

Lord Town. To heighten that resemblance, I think, sister, there only wants your rewarding the hero of the fable, by naming the day of his happiness.

Lady Grace. This day, to-morrow, every hour, I hope, of life to come, will shew I want not inclination to complete it.

Man. Whatever I may want, madam, you will always find endeavours to deserve you. Lord Town. Then, all are happy.

Lady Town. Sister, I give you joy consummate as the happiest pair can boast.

In you, methinks, as in a glass, I see
The happiness, that once advanced to me.
So visible the bliss, so plain the way,
How was it possible my sense could stray?
But now, a convert to this truth I come,
That married happiness is never found from
home.
[Exeunt omnes.

VOL. II.

4 R

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SCENE I-RANGER'S chambers in the Temple. A knocking is heard at the door for some time; when RANGER enters, having let himself in.

Ran. Once more I am got safe to the Temple. Let me reflect a little. I have sat up all night: I have my head full of bad wine, and the noise of oaths, dice, and the damned tinkling of tavern bells; my spirits jaded, and my eyes sunk in my head; and all this for the conversation of a company of fellows I despise. Their wit lies only in obscenity, their mirth in noise, and their delight in a box and dice. Honest Ranger, take my word for it, thou art a mighty silly fellow !

Enter a Servant, with a wig dressed. Where have you been, rascal? If I had not had the key in my pocket, I must have waited at the door in this dainty dress.

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Servants pass over the stage.

Have you been for the money this morning, as I ordered you?

Ser. No, sir. You bade me go before you was up; I did not know your honour meant before you went to bed.

Ran. None of your jokes, I pray; but to business. Go to the coffee-house, and inquire if there has been any letter or message left for me. Ser. I shall, sir. Ran. [Repeats.]

"You think she's false; I'm sure she's kind :
I take her body, You her mind;
"Which has the better bargain?'

Oh, that I had such a soft, deceitful fair, to lull my senses to their desired sleep! [Knocking at the door.] Come iu.

Enter SIMON.

Oh, master Simon, is it you? How long have you been in town?

Sim. Just come, sir; and but for a little time neither; and yet I have as many messages as if we were to stay the whole year round. Here they are, all of them, [Pulls out a number of cards.] and, among them, one for your honour.

Ran. [Reads.] Clarinda's compliments to her 'cousin Ranger, and should be glad to see him for ever so little a time that he can be spared from the more weighty business of the law.' Ha, ha, ha! the same merry girl I ever knew her.

Sim. My lady is never sad, sir.

Ran. Civil! Egad, I think I am very civil.
[Kisses her again.

Enter a Servant, and BELLAMY.

Ser. Sir, Mr Bellamy. Ran. Damn your impertinence-Oh, Mr Bellamy, your servant.

Mil. What shall I say to my mistress?

Ran. Bid her make half a dozen more; but be sure you bring them home yourself. [Erit Milliner. Pshaw! Pox! Mr Bellamy, how should you like to be served so yourself?

Bel. How can you, Ranger, for a minute's pleasure, give an innocent girl the pain of heart I am confident she felt?There was a modest blush upon her cheek that convinces me she is honest.

Ran. May be so. I was resolved to try, however, had you not interrupted the experiment. Bel. Fy, Ranger! will you never think?

Ran. Yes; but I cannot be always athinking. The law is a damnable dry study, Mr Bellamy; and without something now and then to amuse and relax, it would be too much for my brain, I promise ye- -But I am a mighty sober fellow grown. Here have I been at it these three hours; but the wenches will never let me alone.

Bel. Three hours! Why, do you usually study in such shoes and stockings?

Ran. Rat your inquisitive eyes! Ex pede Herculem. Egad, you have me. The truth is, I am but this moment returned from the tavern. What, Frankly here, too!

Enter FRANKLY.

Frank. My boy, Ranger, I am heartily glad [Knocking at the door. to see you. Bellamy, let me embrace you; you are the person I want. I have been at your lodgings, and was directed hither.

Ran. Pr'ythee, Simon, open the door.
Enter Milliner.

Well, child- -and who are you?

Mil. Sir, my mistress gives her service to you; and has sent you home the linen you bespoke.

Ran. Well, Simon, my service to your lady, and let her know I will most certainly wait upon her. I am a little busy, Simon—and soSim. Ah, you're a wag, Master Ranger, you're -but mum for that. [Exit. Ran. I swear, my dear, you have the prettiest pair of eyes--the loveliest pouting lips-I never saw you before.

a wag

Mil. No, sir! I was always in the shop. Ran. Were you so?-Well, and what does your mistress say?—The devil fetch me, child, you looked so prettily, that I could not mind one word you said.

Mil. Lard, sir, you are such another gentleman!—Why, she says, she is sorry she could not send them sooner. Shall I lay them down? Ran. No, child. Give them to me Dear [Catches, and kisses her. Mil. I beg, sir, you would be civil.

little smiling angel

Ran. It is to him, then, I am obliged for this visit but with all my heart. He is the only man to whom I don't care how much I am obliged.

Bel. Your humble servant, sir.

Frank. You know, Ranger, I want no inducement to be with you. But- -you look sadlyWhat-no merciless jade has- -has she?

Ran. No, no; sound as a roach, my lad. I only got a little too much liquor last night, which I have not slept off yet.

Bel. Thus, Frankly, it is every day. All the morning his head aches; at noon, he begins to clear up; towards evening, he is good company; and all night, he is carefully providing for the same course the next day.

Ran. Why, I must own, my ghostly father, I did relapse a little last night, just to furnish out a decent confession for the day.

Frank. And he is now doing penance for it. Were you his confessor, indeed, you could not well desire more.

Ran. Charles, he sets up for a confessor with

the worst grace in the world. Here has he been reproving me for being but decently civil to my milliner. Plague! because the coldness of his constitution makes him insensible of a fine woman's charms every body else must be so, too.

Bel. I am no less sensible of their charms than you are; though I cannot kiss every woman I meet, or fall in love, as you call it, with every face which has the bloom of youth upon it. I would only have you a little more frugal of your pleasures.

Frank. My dear friend, this is very pretty talking! But, let me tell you, it is in the power of the very first glance from a fine woman, utterly to disconcert all your philosophy.

Bel. It must be from a fine woman, then; and not such as are generally reputed so. And it must be a thorough acquaintance with her, too, that will ever make an impression on my heart.

Ran. Would I could see it once! For when a man has been all his life hoarding up a stock, without allowing himself common necessaries, it tickles me to the soul to see him lay it all out upon a wrong bottom, and become bankrupt at last.

Bel. Well, I don't care how soon you see it. For the minute I find a woman capable of friendship, love, and tenderness, with good sense enough to be always easy, and good-nature enough to like me, I will immediately put it to the trial, which of us shall have the greatest share of happiness from the sex, you or 1.

Kan. By marrying her, I suppose! Capable of friendship, love, and tenderness! ha, ha, ha! that a man of your sense should talk so! If she be capable of love, 'tis all I require of my mistress; and as every woman, who is young, is capable of love, I am very reasonably in love with every young woman I meet. My Lord Coke, in a case I read this morning, speaks my sense. Both. My lord Coke!

Ran. Yes, My lord Coke. What he says of one woman, I say of the whole sex: I take their bodies, you their minds; which has the better bargain?

Fran. There is no arguing with so great a lawyer. Suppose, therefore, we adjourn the debate to some other time. I have some serious business with Mr Bellamy, and you want sleep, I

am sure.

Kan. Sleep! mere loss of time, and hinderance of business-We men of spirit, sir, are above it.

Bel. Whither shall we go?

Fran. Into the park. My chariot is at the door.

Bel. Then if my servant calls, you'll send him after us? [Exeunt. Kan. I will. [Looking on the card.] Clarinda's compliments'—A pox of this head of mine, never once to ask where she was to be found!

'Tis plain she is not one of us, or I should not have been so remiss in my inquiries. No matter; I shall meet her in my walks. Servant enters.

Ser. There is no letter nor message, sir.

Ran. Then my things to dress.- -I take her body, you her mind; which has the better bargain? [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-A chamber.

Enter MRS STRICTLAND and JACINTHA, meeting.

Mrs Strict. Good-morrow, my dear Jacintha. Jac. Good-morrow to you, madam. I have brought my work, and intend to sit with you this morning. I hope you have got the better of your fatigue? Where is Clarinda? I should be glad if she would come and work with us.

Mrs Strict. She work! she is too fine a lady to do any thing. She is not stirring yet-we must let her have her rest. People of her waste of spirits require more time to recruit again.

Jac. It is pity she should be ever tired with what is so agreeable to every body else. I am prodigiously pleased with her company.

Mrs Strict. And when you are better acquainted, you will be still more pleased with her. You must rally her upon her partner at Bath; for I fancy part of her rest has been disturbed on his account.

Jac. Was he really a pretty fellow?

Mrs Strict. That I cannot tell; I did not dance myself, and so did not much mind him. You must have the whole story from herself.

Jac. Oh, I warrant ye, I get it all out. None are so proper to make discoveries in love, as those who are in the secret themselves.

Enter LUCETTA.

Luc. Madam, Mr Strictland is inquiring for you. Here has been Mr Buckle with a letter from his master, which has made him very an

gry.

Jac. Mr Bellamy said, indeed, he would try him once more, but I fear it will prove in vain. Tell your master I am here.-[Exit LUCETTA.]— What significs fortune, when it only makes us slaves to other people?

Mrs Strict. Do not be uneasy, my Jacintha. You shall always find a friend in me: but as for Mr Strictland, I know not what ill temper hangs about him lately. Nothing satisfies him. You saw how he received us when we came off our journey. Though Clarinda was so good company, he was barely civil to her, and downright rude

to me.

Jac. I cannot help saying, I did observe it. Mrs Strict. I saw you did. Hush! he's here,

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