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Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. Shal. How now, master parson? Good morrow, good sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful.
Slen. Ah, sweet Anne Page!
Shal. What the sword and the world! do you study them both, master parson?
Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and, hose, this raw rheumatic day?
Eva. There is reasons and causes for it.
Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, master parson.
Eva. Fery well : what is it? Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike, having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you saw.
Shal. I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.
Eva. What is he?
Page. I think you know him; master doctor Caius, the renowned French physician. Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my
heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen,--and he is a knave besides ; a cowardly knave, as you would desires to be acquainted withal.
Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.
Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!
Shal. It appears so, by his weapons : :- Keep them asunder ;-here comes doctor Caius.
Enter Host, Caius, and Rugby. Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.
Shal. So do you, good master doctor.
Host. Disarm them, and let them question ; let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English.
Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit your ear : Verefore vill you not meet-a me?
Eva. Pray yoii, use your patience : In good time. Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other men's humours; desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb, for missing your meetings and appoint
Caius. Diable !--Jack Rugby,--mine Host de Jarterre, have i not stay for him, to kill him ? hare I not, at de place I did appoint?
Eva. As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed; I'll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.
Host. Peace, I say, Guallia and Gaul, French and Welsh; soul-curer and body-curer.
Cains. Ay, dat is very good! excellent!
Host. Peace, I say ; hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I subtle ? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions, and the motions. Shall I lose niy parson? my priest? my sir Hugh? no; he gives me the pro-verbs and the no-verbs.--Give me thy hand, terrestrial : so:-Give me thy hand, celestial; so. -Boys of
art, I have deceived you both ; I hare directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue.-Come, lay their swords to pawn:
lad of peace : follow, follow, follow,
Shal. Trust me, a mad host :-Follow, gentle. men, follow. Slen. O, sweet Anne Page !
(Exeunt Shal. Slen. Page, and Host. Caius. Ha ! do I perceive dat? have you makea de sotl of us ? ha, ha!
Eva. This is well; he has made us his vloutingstog 2 I desire you, that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together, to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.
Caius. By gar, vit all my heart; he promise to bring me vere is Anne Page : by gar, he deceive me too.
Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles :-Pray you, follow.
[Exeunt. SCENE II.--The Street in Windsor. Enter
Mrs. Page and Robin. Mrs. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader : Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels ?
Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.
Mrs. Page. O you are a flattering boy; now, I see, you'll be a courtier,
Enter Ford. Ford. Well met, mistress Page: Whither go you? Mrs. Page. Truly, sir, to see your wife: Is she at home?
Ford. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company: I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry. (1) Fool. (2) Flouting-stock.
Mrs. Page. Be sure of that,-two other husbands.
Ford. Where had you this pretty weather-cock?
Mrs. Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of: What do you call your knight's name, sirrah?
Rob. Sir John Falstaff.
Mrs. Page. He, he: I can never hit on's name. There is such a league between my good man and he !Is your wife at home, indeed?
Ford. Indeed, she is.
;-I am sick, till I see her. (Exeunt Mrs. Page and Robin.
Ford. Has Page any brains ? hath he any eyes? hath he any thinking ? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot pointblank' twelve score. He pieces-out his wife's inclination; he gives her folly motion, and adrantage: and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind !—and Falstaft's boy with her!--Good plots they are laid ; and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well ; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seemingl mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actæcn; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim.2 (Clock strikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search; there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be rather praised for this, than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go. Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh
Evans, Caius, and Rugby.
(1) Specious. (2) Shall encourage.
Ford. Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home; and, I pray you, all go with me.
Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford.
Slen. And so must I, sir ; we have appointed to dine with mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of.
Shal. We have linger'd about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.
Slen. I hope, I have your good-will, father Page.
Page. You have, master Slender; I stand whol. ly for you :--but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.
Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
Host. What say you to young master Fenton ? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he
he speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will carry't, he will carry't ; 'tis in his buttons; he will carry't.
Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman isof no having :2 he kept company with the wild Prince and Poins ; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him take her simply ; the wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.
Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner : besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster.Master doctor, you shall go ;--so shall you, master Page ;--and you, sir Hugh.
Shal. Well, fare you well :-we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's.
(Exeunt Shallow and Slender.
(1) Out of the common style.
(2) Not rich.