men that come into it, and for the greatest merit those men can arrive to.

What then is the work of life? What the business of great men, that pass the stage of the world in seeming triumph, as these men, we call heroes, have done? Is it to grow great in the mouth of fame, and take up many pages in history? Alas! that is no more than making a tale for the reading of posterity, till it turns into fable and romance. Is it to furnish subject to the poets, and live in their immortal rhymes, as they call them? That is, in short, no more than to be hereafter turn'd into ballad and song, and be sung by old women to quiet children; or at the corner of a street, to gather crowds in aid of the pickpocket and the whore. Or is their business rather to add virtue and piety to their glory, which alone will pass them into eternity, and make them truly immortal? What is glory without virtue? A great man without religion is no more than a great beast without a soul. What is honour without merit? And what can be call'd true merit, but that which makes a person be a good man, as well as a great man?

If we believe in a future state of life, a place for the reward of good men and for the punishment of the haters of virtue, how many heroes and famous men will crowd in among the last? How few crown'd heads wear the crowns of immortal felicity!

Let no man envy the great and glorious men, as we call them! Could we see them now, how many of them would move our pity rather than call for our congratulations! These few thoughts, sir, I send to prepare your readers' minds when they go to see the Magnificent Funeral of the late Duke of Marlborough.

Your humble servant, etc.

TO A VERY YOUNG LADY ON HER MARRIAGE

Jonathan Swift

MADAME, The Hurry and Impertinence of receiving and paying Visits on account of your Marriage being now over, you are beginning to enter into a Course of life, where you will want much advice to divert you from falling into many Errors, Fopperies, and Follies to which your Sex is subject. I have always born an entire friendship to your father and mother; and the person they have chosen for your Husband, hath been for some years past my particular Favourite; I have long wished you might come together, because I hoped, that from the goodness of your Disposition, and by following the Counsel of wise Friends, you might in time make yourself worthy of him. Your Parents were so far in the right, that they did not produce you into the World, whereby you avoided many wrong steps which others have taken, and have fewer il Impressions to be removed. But they failed, as it is generally the case, in too much neglecting to cultivate your Mind; without which it is impossible to acquire or preserve the Friendship and Esteem of a wise man, who soon grows weary of acting the Lover and treating his wife like a mistress, but wants a reasonable Companion, and a true Friend, through every stage of his life. It must be therefore your Business to qualify yourself for those offices; wherein I will not fail to be your Director, as long as I shall think you deserve it, by letting you know how you are to act, and what you ought to avoid.

And beware of despising or neglecting Instructions, whereon will depend not only your making a good Figure in the World, but your own real Happiness, as well as that of the person who ought to be the dearest to you.

I must therefore desire you, in the first place, to be very slow in changing the modest behaviour of a Virgin. It is usual in young Wives, before they have been many weeks married, to assume a bold forward Look and manner of talking, as if they intended to signify in all companies, that they were no longer Girls, and consequently that their whole Demeanor, before they got a Husband, was all but a Countenance and Constraint upon their Nature; whereas, I suppose, if the Votes of wise men were gathered, a very great Majority would be in favour of those Ladies, who, after they were entered into that state, rather chose to double their portion of Modesty and Reservedness.

I must likewise warn you strictly against the least degree of Fondness to your Husband before any Witness whatsoever, even before your nearest Relations, or the very Maids of your chamber. This Proceeding is so exceeding odious and disgustful to all who have either good Breeding or good Sense, that they assign two very unamiable reasons for it; the one is gross Hypocrisy, and the other has too bad a name to mention. . . . Conceal your Esteem and Love in your own breast, and reserve your kind looks and language for private Hours, which are so many in the four and twenty, that they will afford Time to employ a passion as exalted as any that was ever described in a French Romance.

Upon this head, I should likewise advise you to differ in practice from those Ladies who affect abundance of Uneasiness while their Husbands are abroad; start with every knock at the door, and ring the bell incessantly for the servants to let in their master; will not eat a bit at dinner or supper, if the Husband happens to stay out; and receive him at his return with such a medley of Chiding and Kindness, and catechising him where he has been, that a Shrew from Billingsgate would be a more easy and eligible companion.

Of the same leaven are those Wives, who, when their Husbands are gone a Journey, must have a Letter every post, upon pain of Fits and Hystericks; and a Day must be fixed for their return home, without the least Allowance for business, or sickness, or accidents, or weather; upon which, I can only say, that in my observation, those Ladies who are apt to make the greatest Clutter on such occasions, would liberally have paid a messenger for bringing them news, that their Husbands had broke their necks on the road.

You will perhaps be offended, when I advise you to abate a little of that violent Passion for fine Cloaths, so predominant in your Sex. It is a little hard, that ours, for whose Sake you wear them, are not admitted to be of your council. I may venture to assure you, that we will make an abatement at any time of four pounds a yard in a Brocade, if the Ladies will but allow a suitable addition of care in the Cleanliness and Sweetness of their Persons. For the satyrical part of Mankind will needs believe, that it is not impossible to be very fine and very filthy; and that the Capacities of a lady are sometimes apt to fall short in cultivating Cleanliness and Finery together.

I am wholly at a loss how to advise you in the choice of Company, which, however, is a point of as great importance as any in your life. If your general Acquaintance be among Ladies who are your equals or superiors, provided they have nothing of what is commonly call'd an ill Reputation, you think you are safe; and this in the Style of the world will pass for good Company. Whereas I am afraid it will be hard for you to pick out one Female Acquaintance in this town, from whom you will not be in manifest danger of contracting some Foppery, Affectation, Vanity, Folly, or Vice. Your only safe way of conversing with them, is by a firm resolution to proceed in your Practice and Behaviour directly contrary to whatever they shall say or

do. And this I take to be a good general rule, with very few exceptions. For instance, in the doctrines they usually deliver to young married Women in managing their Husbands; their several Accounts of their own Conduct in that particular, to recommend it to your imitation; the Reflections they make upon others of their sex for acting differently; their Directions how to come off with Victory upon any Dispute or Quarrel you may have with your husband; the Arts by which you may discover and practise upon his weak side; when to work by Flattery and Insinuation, when to melt him with Tears, and when to engage with a high Hand. In these, and a thousand other cases, it will be prudent to retain as many of their lectures in your memory as you can, and then determine to act in full Opposition to them all.

I hope your Husband will interpose his Authority to limit you in the trade of Visiting: half a dozen Fools are in all conscience as many as you should require; and it will be sufficient for you to see them twice a year. For I think, the Fashion does not exact, that Visits would be paid to Friends.

I advise, that your Company at home should consist of Men, rather than Women. To say the truth, I never yet knew a tolerable Woman to be fond of her own Sex. I confess, when both are mixed and well chosen, and put their best Qualities forward, there may be an Intercourse of civility and good-will; which, with the addition of some degree of Sense, can make conversation or any amusement agreeable. But a knot of Ladies, got together by themselves, is a very school of Impertinence and Detraction, and it is well if those be the worst.

Let your Men-Acquaintance be of your Husband's choice, and not recommended to you by any she-companions; because they will certainly fix a Coxcomb upon