Que

Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long: od's me! ay je oublié? dere is fome fimples in my clofet, dat I will not for the varld I fhall leave behind.

Quic. Ay-me, he'll find the young man there, and be mad.

Caius. O Diable, Diable! vat is in my closet? villaine, Larron! Rugby, my rapier. [Pulls Simple out of the clafet. Quic. Good mafter, be content.

Caius. Wherefore fhall I be content-a
Quic. The young man is an honeft man.

Caius. What fhall de honeft man do in my clofet? dere is no honeft man, dat shall come in my closet. Quic. I befeech you, be not fo flegmatick; hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from parfon Hugh.

Caius. Vell.

Sim. Ay, forfooth, to defire her to

Quic. Peace, I pray you.

Caius. Peace-a your tongue, fpeak-a your tale.

Sim. To defire this honeft gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page for my maiter in the way of marriage.

Quic. This is all, indeed-la; but I'll never put my finger in the fire, and need not.

Caius. Sir Hugh fend-a-you? Rugby, baillez me fome paper; tarry you a little-a-while,

Quic. I am glad, he is fo quiet; if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him fo loud, and fo melancholy: but notwithstanding, man, I'll do for your mafter what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French Doctor my mafter, (I may call him my mafter, look you, for I keep his houfe, and I wafh, wring, brew, bake, fcour, drefs meat and drink, make the beds, and do all my felf.)

Sim. 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand.

Quic. Are you a-vis'd o' that? you fhall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down late. Bur notwithstanding, to tell you in your ear, I would have no words of it, my mafter himself is in love with mif

trefs

trefs Anne Page; but, notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's neither here nor there.

Caius. You jack'nape; give a this letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a fhallenge: I will cut his troat in de parke, and I will teach a fcurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make- -you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here; by gar, I will cut all his two ftones; by gar, he fhall not have a ftone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple. Quic. Alas, he fpeaks but for his friend.

Caius. It is no matter'a ver dat: do you not tell-ame, dat I fhall have Anne Page for myfelf? by gar, I vill kill de jack prieft; and I have appointed mine hoft of de Farterre to measure our weapon; by gar, I will myself have Anne Page.

Quic. Sir, the maid loves you, and all fhall be well: we must give folks leave to prate; what, the good-jer! Caius. Rugby, come to the Court with me ;- -by gar, if I have not Anne Page, I fhall turn your head out of my door;-follow my heels, Rugby.

[Ex. Caius and Rugby. Quic. You fhall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that; never a Woman in Windfor knows more of Anne's mind than I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heav'n.

Fent. (within.) Who's within there, hoa?

Quic. Who's there, I trow? come near the house, I pray you.

Enter Mr. Fenton.

Fent. How now, good woman, how doft thou? Quic. The better, that it pleafes your good worship to ask.

Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?

Quic. In truth, Sir, and fhe is pretty, and honeft, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praife heav'n for it.

Fent. Shall I do any good, think'ft thou? fhall I not lofe my fuit?

Quic. Troth, Sir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding, mafter Fenton, I'll be fworn on a book,

fhe

fhe loves you: have not your worship a wart above your eye?

Fent. Yes, marry, have I; and what of that?

Quic. Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is fuch another Nan; but, I deteft, an honeft maid as ever broke bread; we had an hour's talk of that wart: I shall never laugh but in that maid's company! but, indeed, fhe is given too much to allicholly and mufing; but for go to Fent. Well, I fhall fee her to day; hold, there's mony for thee: let me have thy voice in my behalf; if thou feeft her before me, commend me

you

Well

Quic. Will I ay, faith, that we will: and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers.

Fen. Well, farewel, I am in great hafte now. [Exit. Quic. Farewel to your worship. Truly, an honest gentleman, but Anne loves him not; I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out upon't, what have I forgot?

[Exit.

ACT II.

SCENE, before Page's House..
Enter Mrs, Page, with a Letter.

W

Mrs. PAGE.

HAT, have I 'fcap'd love-letters in the holyday-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? let me fee:

Ask me no reason, why I love you; for tho' love ufe reas fon for his precifian, he admits him not for his counsellor: you are not young, no more am I go to then, there's fympathy: you are merry; so am I ha! ha! then there's more fympathy; you love fack, and fo do I; would you fire better fympathy? let it fuffice thee, mirefs. Page, ar

de

the

the leaft if the love of a foldier can fuffice, that I love thee. I will not fay, pity me, 'tis not a foldier-like phrafe; but I fay, love me:

By me, thine own true Knight, by day or night,
Or any kind of light, with all his might,
For thee to fight.

John Falstaff. What a Herod of Jewry is this? O wicked, wicked world! one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to fhow himself a young gallant! what unweigh'd behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard pickt, i'th' devil's name, out of my converfation, that he dares in this manner affay me? why, he hath not been thrice in my company: what fhould I fay to him? I was then frugal of my mirth, heav'n forgive me: why, I'll exhibit (8) a Bill in the Parliament for the putting down of fat men: how fhall I be reveng'd on him? for reveng'd I will be, as fure as his guts are made of puddings.

Enter Mrs. Ford.

Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Page, truft me, I was going to your house.

Mrs. Page. And truft me, I was coming to you; you look very

ill.

Mrs. Ford Nay, I'll ne'er. believe that; I have to fhew to the contrary.

Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind.

for

(8) ―a bill in the Parliament for the putting down of Men:] What, Mrs. Page, put down the whole Species Unius ob noxam, for a fingle Offender's Trefpafs? Don't be fo unreasonable in your Anger. But 'tis a falfe Charge against You. I am perfuaded, a fhort Monofyllable is dropt out, which, once reftor'd, would qualify the Matter. We must neceffarily read, the putting down. of fat Men.- -Mrs. Ford fays in the very enfuing Scene, I shall think the worfe of fat Men, as long as I have. an Eye, &c. And in the old Quarto's, Mrs. Page, fo foon as he has read the Letter, fays, Well, I shall truft fat Men the worfe, while I live, for his fake: And he is call'd, the fat Knight, the greafy Knight, by the Women, throughout the Play,

Mrs.

Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then; yet I fay, I could fhew you to the contrary: O mistress Page, give me fome counfel.

Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman?

Mrs. Ford. O woman! if it were not for one trifling refpect, I could come to fuch honour.

Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman, take the honour; what is it? difpenfe with trifles; what is it?

Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or fo, I could be knighted.

Mrs. Page. What, thou lieft! Sir Alice Fard! these Knights will hack, and fo thou shouldít not alter the article of thy gentry.

Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light; here, read, read; perceive, how I might be knighted: I fhall think the worfe of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking; and yet he would not fwear; prais'd women's modefty; and gave fuch orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomelinefs, that I would have fworn his difpofition would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere, and keep place together, than the hundredth Pfalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. What tempeft, I trow, threw this whale, with fo many tun of oyl in his belly, a'fhore at Windfor? how fhall I be reveng'd on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, 'till the wicked fire of luft have melted him in his own greafe. Did you ever hear the like?

Mrs. Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this my. ftery of ill opinions, here's the twin brother of thy letter; but let thine inherit firft, for, I proteft, mine never fhall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank-fpace for different names; nay, more; and thefe are of the second edition: he will print them out of doubt, for he cares not what he puts into the prefs, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantefs, and lye under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lafcivious turtles, ere one chafte man.

Mrs.