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107. Plato entertained some of his friends at as the party pressed him for a longer day to perform dinner, and had in the chamber a bed, or couch, the decree, said; “Take Saint Barnaby's day, neatly and costly furnished. Diogenes came in which is the longest day in the year.” Now Saint and got upon the bed, and trampled it, saying, Barnaby's day was within few days following. “I trample upon the pride of Plato." Plato 119. One of the fathers saith, “That there is mildly answered, " But with greater pride." but this difference between the death of old men
108. One was examined upon certain scanda- and young men; that old men go to death, and lous words spoken against the king. He confess-death comes to young men." ed them, and said; “ It is true, I spake them, and 120. Philo Judæus saith, that the sense is like if the wine had not failed, I had said much more." the sun; for the sun seals up the globe of heaven,
109. Pompey, being commissioner for sending and opens the globe of earth : so the sense doth grain to Rome in time of dearth, when he came to obscure heavenly things, and reveals earthly the sea, found it very tempestuous and dangerous, things. insomuch as those about him advised him by no 121. Cassius, after the defeat of Crassus by the means to embark; but Pompey said, “It is of Parthians, whose weapons were chiefly arrows, necessity that I go, not that I live.”
fled to the city of Charras, where he durst not 110. Trajan would say, “ That the king's stay any time, doubting to be pursued and beexchequer was like the spleen; for when that did sieged; he had with him an astrologer, who said swell, the whole body did pine.”
to him, “Sir, I would not have you go hence, 111. Charles the Bald allowed one, whose while the moon is in the sign of Scorpio." Casname was Scottus, to sit at the table with him, sius answered, “I am more afraid of that of for his pleasure: Scottus sat on the other side of Sagittarius.” the table. One time the king being merry with 122. Alexander, after the battle of Granicum, him, said to him; - What is there between Scott had very great offers made him by Darius; conand sot?” Scottus answered; “ The table only." sulting with his captains concerning them, Par
112. Ethelwold, Bishop of Winchester, in a menio said, “Sure I would accept of these offers, famine, sold all the rich vessels and ornaments of if I were as Alexander.” Alexander answered, the church, to relieve the poor with bread; and “So would I, if I were as Parmenio." said, “ There was no reason that the dead temples 123. Alexander was wont to say, he knew of God should be sumptuously furnished, and the himself to be mortal, chiefly by two things; sleep living temples suffer penury.
and lust. 113. There was a marriage made between a 124. Augustus Cæsar was invited to supper widow of great wealth, and a gentleman of a great by one of his old friends that had conversed with house, that had no estate or means. Jack Roberts him in his less fortunes, and had but ordinary ensaid, " That marriage was like a black pudding; tertainment. Whereupon, at his going, he said; the one brought blood, and the other brought suet “I did not know you and I were so familiar." and oatmeal."
125. Augustus Cæsar would say; “ That he 114. Demosthenes was upbraided by Æschines, wondered that Alexander feared he should want that his speeches did smell of the lamp. But work, having no more to conquer; as if it were Demosthenes said, " Indeed there is a great deal not as hard a matter to keep as to conquer." of difference between that which you and I do by 126. Antigonus, when it was told him that the lamp-light."
enemy had such volumes of arrows that they did 115. Demades the orator, in his age was talka- hide the sun, said ; « That falls out well, for it is tive, and would eat hard : Antipater would say of hot weather, and we shall fight in the shade." him, that he was like a sacrifice, that nothing was 127. Augustus Cæsar did write to Livia, who left of it but the tongue and the paunch.
was over-sensible of some ill-words that had been 116. When King Edward the Second was spoken of them both : “Let it not trouble thee, amongst his torturers, who hurried him to and my Livia, if any man speak ill of us: for we fro, that no man should know where he was, they have enough that no man can do ill unto us." set him down upon a bank: and one time, the 128. Chilon said, that kings, friends, and famore to disguise his face, shaved him, and washed vourites, were like casting counters; that somehim with cold water of a ditch by: the king said; times stood for one, sometimes for ten, sometimes "Well, yet I will have warm water for my beard :" for an hundred. and so shed abundance of tears.
129. Theodosius, when he was pressed by a 117. The Turks made an expedition into Persia, suitor, and denied him; the suitor said, “Why, and because of the strait jaws of the mountains sir, you promised it.” He answered ; " I said it, of Armenia, the bashaws consulted which way but I did not promise it if it be unjust.”. they should get in. Says a natural fool that stood 130. Agathocles, after he had taken Syracuse, by, “ Here is much ado how you shall get in; but the men whereof, during the siege, had in a I hear nobody take care how you should get out.” bravery spoken of him all the villany that might
118. Sir Thomas More, when the counsel of be, sold the Syracusans for slaves, and said,
away that is.”
“ Now if you use such words of me, I will tells a mean estate did speak great matters, said to your master of you.”
him, “ Friend, your words would require a city.” 131. Dionysius the elder, when he saw his son 141. Agesilaus, when one told him there was in many things very inordinate, said to him, one did excellently counterfeit a nightingale, and “ Did you ever know me do such things?" His would have had him hear him, said, “Why I son answered, “ No, but you had not a tyrant to have heard the nightingale herself.” your father.” The father replied, “No, nor you, 142. A great nobleman, upon the complaint of if you take these courses, will have a tyrant to a servant of his, laid a citizen by the heels, think
ing to bend him to his servant's desire; but the 132. Calisthenes, the philosopher, that followed fellow being stubborn, the servant came to his Alexander's court, and hated the king, being asked lord, and told hin, “ Your lordship, I know, hath hy one, how one should become the famousest gone as far as well you may, but it works not; man in the world, answered, “By taking him for yonder fellow is more perverse than before."
Said my lord, “ Let's forget him a while, and 133. Sir Edward Coke was wont to say, when then he will remember himself.” a great man came to dinner to him, and gave
143. One came to a cardinal in Rome, and told no knowledge of his coming, “Sir, since you sent him, that he had brought his lordship a dainty me no word of your coming, you must dine with white palfrey, but he fell lame by the way. me; but if I had known of it in due time, I would Saith the cardinal to him, “ I'll tell thee what have dined with you."
thou shalt do: go to such a cardinal, and such a 134. The Romans, when they spake to the cardinal,” naming him some half a dozen cardipeople, were wont to style them, “ Ye Romans :" | nals, and tell them as much; and so whereas when commanders in war spake to their army, by thy horse, if he had been sound, thou couldst they styled them, “My soldiers." There was a have pleased but one, with thy lame horse thou mutiny in Cæsar's army, and somewhat the sol- mayst please half a dozen." diers would have had, yet they would not declare 144. Iphicrates the Athenian, in a treaty that themselves in it, but only demanded a mission, he had with the Lacedæmonians for peace, in or discharge; though with no intention it should which question was about security for observing be granted : but knowing that Cæsar had at that the same, said, “ The Athenians would not actime great need of their service, thought by that cept of any security, except the Lacedæmonians means to wrench him to their other desires : did yield up unto them those things, whereby it whereupon with one cry they asked mission. might be manifest, that they could not hurt them Cæsar, after silence made, said; “I for my part, if they would.” ye Romans." This title did actually speak them 145. Euripides would say of persons that were to be dismissed: which voice they had no sooner beautiful, and yet in some years, - In fair bodies heard, but they mutinied again; and would not not only the spring is pleasant, but also the ausuffer him to go on with his speech, until he had tumn." called them by the name of his soldiers : and so 146. After a great fight, there came to the camp with that one word he appeased the sedition. of Consalvo, the great captain, a gentleman,
135. Cæsar would say of Sylla, for that he did proudly horsed and armed. Diego de Mendoza resign his dictatorship; “Sylla was ignorant of asked the great captain, “Who is this?" Who letters, he could not dictate."
answered, “ It is Saint Ermin, who never appears 136. Seneca said of Cæsar, " that he did quick- but after a storm." ly show the sword, but never leave it off.” 147. There was a captain sent to an exploit by
137. Diogenes begging, as divers philosophers his general with forces that were not likely to then used, did beg more of a prodigal man, than achieve the enterprise ; the captain said to him, of the rest which were present. Whereupon one Sir, appoint but half so many." " Why?” saith said to him; “See your baseness, that when you the general. The captain answered, “ Because find a liberal mind, you will take most of him.” it is better fewer die than more." “ No,” said Diogenes, “but I mean to beg of 148. They would say of the Duke of Guise, the rest again."
Henry, that had sold and oppignerated all his 138. Jason the Thessalian was wont to say, patrimony, to suffice the great donatives that he " that some things must be done unjustly, that had made; “ that he was the greatest usurer of many things may be done justly."
France, because all his state was in obligations." 139. Sir Nicholas Bacon being keeper of the 149. Cræsus said to Cambyses, “that peace seal, when Queen Elizabeth, in progress, came was better than war; because in peace the sons to his house at Redgrave, and said to him, “ My did bury their fathers, but in the wars the fathers lo. what a little house have you gotten?" said, did bury their sons." “ Madam, my house is well, but it is you that 150. There was a harbinger who had lodged a have made me too great for my house."
gentleman in a very ill room, who expostulated 140. Themistocles, when an ambassador from with him somewhat rudely; but the harbinger
carelessly said; “You will take pleasure in it with a musician in points of his art, somewhat when you are out of it."
peremptorily; but the musician said to him, 151. There was a cursed page that his master “God forbid, sir, your fortune were so hard that whipt naked, and when he had been whipt, would you should know these things better than mynot put on his clothes: and when his master bade self.” him, said, “Take them you, for they are the 160. There was a philosopher that disputed hangman's fees.'
with the Emperor Adrian, and did it but weakly. 152. There was one that died greatly in debt: One of his friends that stood by, afterwards said when it was reported in some company, where unto him, “ Methinks you were not like yourself divers of his creditors were, that he was dead, last day, in argument with the emperor; I could one began to say, “ In good faith, then, he hath have answered better myself.” • Why," said carried five hundred ducats of mine with him into the philosopher, “would you have me contend the other world :” and another said, “ And two with him that commands thirty legions ?" hundred of mine;" and some others spake of 161. Diogenes was asked in a kind of scorn, several sums of theirs. Whereupon one that was " What was the matter, that philosophers haunted amongst them said, “ Well, I perceive now, that rich men, and not rich men philosophers ?" He though a man cannot carry any of his own with answered, “ Because the one knew what they him into the next world, yet he may carry other wanted, the other did not." men's."
162. Demetrius, King of Macedon, had a petition 153. Francis Carvajall, that was the great offered him divers times by an old woman, and still captain of the rebels of Peru, had often given the answered, “ he had no leisure,” Whereupon the chase to Diego Centeno, a principal commander woman said aloud, “Why then give over to be of the emperor's party: he was afterwards taken king.” by the emperor's lieutenant, Gasca, and committed 163. The same Demetrius would at times retire to the custody of Diego Centeno, who used him himself from business, and give himself wholly to with all possible courtesy; inasmuch as Carva- pleasures. One day of those his retirings, giving jall asked him, “I pray, sir, who are you that out that he was sick, his father Antigonus came use me with this courtesy ?" Centeno said, “Do on the sudden to visit him, and met a fair dainty not you know Diego Centeno ?" Carvajall an- youth coming out of his chamber. When Antiswered, “ In good faith, sir, I have been so used gonus came in, Demetrius said, “ Sir, the fever to see your back, as I knew not your face." left me right now.” Antigonus replied, " I think
154. Carvajall, when he was drawn to execu- it was he that I met at the door." tion, being fourscore and five years old, and laid 164. There was a merchant in debt that died. upon the hurdle, said, “What! young in cradle, His goods and household stuff were set forth for old in cradle!”
sale. A stranger would needs buy a pillow there, 155. There is a Spanish adage, “ Love without saying, “ This pillow sure is good to sleep upon, end hath no end :” meaning, that if it were be- since he could sleep that owed so many debts." gun not upon particular ends it would last. 165. A lover met his lady in a close chair, she
156. Cato the elder, being aged, buried his thinking to have gone unknown, he came and spake wife, and married a young woman. His son to her. She asked him, “ How did you know came to him, and said; “Sir, what have I of me?" He said, “ Because my wounds bleed fended, that you have brought a stepmother into afresh;" alluding to the common tradition, that the your house?” The old man answered, “ Nay, wounds of a body slain will bleed afresh upon the quite contrary, son : thou pleasest me so well, as approach of the murderer. I would be glad to have more such.”
166. A gentleman brought music to his lady's 157. Crassus the orator had a fish which the window. She hated him, and had warned him Romans called Muræna, that he made very tame often away; and when he would not desist, and fond of him; the fish died, and Crassus wept she threw stones at him. Whereupon a gentlefor it. One day falling in contention with Domi- man said unto him, that was in his company, tius in the senate, Domitius said, “ Foolish Cras- "What greater honour can you have to your music, sus, you wept for your Muræna.” Crassus replied, than that stones come about you, as they did to
That is more than you did for both your wives.” Orpheus ?"
158. Philip, Alexander's father, gave sentence 167. Cato Major would say, " That wise men against a prisoner what time he was drowsy, and learned more by fools than fools by wise men.” seemed to give small attention. The prisoner, 168. When it was said to Anaxagoras, " The after sentence was pronounced, said, “ I appeal.” Athenians have condemned you to die;" he said The king somewhat stirred, said; “ To whom do again, “ And nature them." you appeal ?" The prisoner answered, “ From 169. Demosthenes when he fled from the battle, Philip when he gave no ear, to Philip when he and that it was reproached to him, said, “ that he snall give ear.”
that flies might fight again.” 159. The same Philip maintained argumenis 170. Antalcidas, when an Athenian said to him
« Ye Spartans are unlearned ;” said again, “ True, goes to the sick, any that meets with it turns back for we have learned no evil vice of you."
and waits upon it to the house whither it goes : 171. Alexander, when his father wished him to but in France they only do reverence, and pass run for the prize of the race at the Olympian games, by. But the French gentleman answered him, for he was very swift, answered ; " He would, it " There is reason for it; for here with us, Christ he might run with kings."
is secure amongst his friends; but in Spain there 172. When Alexander passed into Asia, he gave be so many Jews and Maranos that it is not auniss large donatives to his captains, and other principal for him to have a convoy." men of virtue ; insomuch as Parmenio asked him, 179. Coranus, the Spaniard, at a table at dinner, “ Sir, what do you keep for yourself ?" He answer- fell into an extolling of his own father, saying, ed, - Hope.”
- If he could have wished of God, he could 173. Antigonus used to often go disguised, and not have chosen amongst men a better father.” to listen at the tents of his soldiers; and at a time Sir Henry Savil said, “ What, not Abraham ?" heard some that spoke very ill of him. Whereupon Now Coranus was doubted to descend of a race he opened the tent a little, and said to them, “ If of Jews. you would speak ill of me, you should go a little 180. Consalvo would say, “ The honour of a farther off.”
soldier ought to be of a strong web;' meaning, 174. Vespasian set a tribute upon urine; Titus that it should not be so fine and curious that every his son emboldened himself to speak to his father little disgrace should catch and stick in it. of it: and represented it as a thing indign and 181. One of the Seven was wont to say; sordid. Vespasian said nothing for the time : but " That laws were like cobwebs; where the a while after, when it was forgotten, sent for a small flies were caught, and the great brake piece of silver out of the tribute money, and called through.” to his son, bidding him to smell it; and asked him, 182. Bias gave in precept, “Love as if you should whether he found any offence. Who said, “ No.” hereafter hate; and hate as if you should hereafter s Why so ?" saith Vespasian again ; " yet this love." comes out of urine."
183. Aristippus, being reprehended of luxury by 175. There were two gentlemen otherwise of one that was not rich, for that he gave six crowns equal degree, save that the one was of the an- for a small fish, answered, “Why, what would cienter house. The other in courtesy asked his you have given ?" The other said, “Some twelvehand to kiss : which he gave him; and he kissed pence.” Aristippus said again, “And six crowns it; but said withal, to right himself by way of are no more with me.” friendship, “ Well, I and you, against any two of 184. There was a French gentleman speaking them :" putting himself first.
with an English, of the law Salique; that women 176. Nerva the emperor succeeded Domitian, were excluded from inheriting the crown of France. who had been tyrannical ; and in his time many The English said, “Yes; but that was meant of noble houses were overthrown by false accusa- the women themselves, not of such males as tions; the instruments whereof were chiefly Mar- claimed by women.” The French gentleman cellus and Regulus. The Emperor Nerva one said, “Where do you find that gloss ?" The night supped privately with six or seven : amongst English answered, “ I'll tell you, sir: look on the whom there was one that was a dangerous man; back side of the record of the law Salique, and and began to take the like courses as Marcellus there you shall find it endorsed :" implying there and Regulus had done. The emperor fell into was no such thing as the law Salique, but that it discourse of the injustice and tyranny of the former is a mere fiction. time, and by name of the two accusers; and said, 185. There was a friar in earnest dispute about • What should we do with them, if we had them the law Salique, that would needs prove it by now ?" One of them that was at supper, and was Scripture; citing that verse of the gospel, « Lilia a free-spoken senator, said, “ Marry, they should agri non laborant neque nent;" the lilies of the sap with us."
field do neither labour nor spin ; applying it thus : 177. There was one that found a great mass That the flower-de-luces of France cannot deof money digging under ground in his grand-scend, neither to the distaff nor to the spade : that father's house : and being somewhat doubtful of is, not to a woman nor to a peasant. the case, signified it to the emperor that he had 186. Julius Cæsar, as he passed by, was, by fuund such treasure. The emperor made a re-acclamation of some that stood in the way, termed script thus: “Use it.” He writ back again, that King, to try how the people would take it. The the sum was greater than his estate or condition people showed great murmur and distaste at it. could use. The emperor writ a new rescript thus : Cæsar, finding where the wind stood, slighted * Abuse it."
it, and said, “ I am not king, but Cæsar;" as if 178. A Spaniard was censuring to a French gen- they had mistaken his name. For Rex was a surtleman the want of devotion amongst the French; name amongst the Romans as King is with us. in that, whereas in Spain, when the sacrament 187. When Cresus, for his glory, showed Som
lon his great treasures of gold, Solon said to him, would have two tributes in one year, he must “ If another king come that hath better iron than give them two seed-times and two harvests.”' you, he will be master of all this gold.”
196. Plato was wont to say of his master So188. There was a gentleman that came to the crates, that he was like the apothecaries' gallitilt all in orange-tawny, and ran very ill. The pots; that had on the outside apes, and owls, next day he came again all in green, and ran and satyrs; but within, precious drugs.
There was one of the lookers on asked 197. Lamia the courtezan had all power with another; “ What is the reason that this gentleman Demetrius, King of Macedon, and by her instigachangeth his colours ?" The other answered, tions he did many unjust and cruel acts; where
Sure, because it may be reported, that the gen- upon Lysimachus said, “ that it was the first time tleman in the green ran worse than the gentleman that he ever knew a whore to play in tragedy." in the orange-tawny."
198. Themistocles would say of himself, « That 189. Aristippus said; “That those that studied he was like a plane-tree, that in tempests men fled particular sciences, and neglected philosophy, to him, and in fair weather men were ever cropwere like Penelope's wooers, that made love to ping his leaves." the waiting woman.
199. Themistocles said of speech, " That it was 190. Plato reprehended severely a young man like arras, that spread abroad shows fair images, for entering into a dissolute house. The young but contracted is but like packs." man said to him, “Why do you reprehend so 200. Bresquet, jester to Francis the First of sharply for so small a matter?” Plato replied, France, did keep a calendar of fools, wherewith he " But custom is no small matter."
did use to make the king sport; telling him ever 191. There was a law made by the Romans the reason why he put any one into his calendar. against the bribery and extortion of the governors When Charles the Fifth, emperor, upon confidence of provinces. Cicero saith in a speech of his to of the noble nature of Francis, passed through the people, " That he thought the provinces would France, for the appeasing the rebellion of Gaunt, petition to the state of Rome to have that law re- Bresquet put him into his calendar. The king pealed. For,” saith he, “ before, the governors asked him the cause. He answered, “ Because did bribe and extort as much as was sufficient for you have suffered at the hands of Charles the themselves ; but now they bribe and extort as greatest bitterness that ever prince did from much as may be enough not only for themselves, another, nevertheless he would trust his person but for the judges, and jurors, and magistrates." into your hands." "Why, Bresquet," said the
192. Archidamus, King of Lacedæmon, having king, “what wilt thou say, if thou seest him pass received from Philip, King of Macedon, after back in as great safety as if he marched through Philip had won the victory of Chæronea upon the the midst of Spain ?" Saith Bresquet; “ Why, Athenians, proud letters, writ back to him, “ That then I will put him out, and put you in." if he measured his own shadow, he would find it 201. Lewis the Eleventh of France, having no longer than it was before his victory." much abated the greatness and power of the peers,
193. Pyrrhus, when his friends congratulated nobility, and court of parliament, would say, “That to him his victory over the Romans, under the he had brought the crown out of ward.” conduct of Fabricius, but with great slaughter of 202. Sir Fulk Grevil, in parliament, when the his own side, said to them again, “ Yes, but if we Lower House, in a great business of the queen's, have such another victory, we are undone." stood much upon precedents, said unto them,
194. Cineas was an excellent orator and states- “ Why do you stand so much upon precedents ? man, and principal friend and counsellor to Pyr- The times hereafter will be good or bad. If good, rhus, and falling in inward talk with him, and dis- precedents will do no harm; if bad, power will cerning the king's endless ambition; Pyrrhus make a way where it finds none." opened himself unto him, that he intended first a 203. When peace was renewed with the French war upon Italy, and hoped to achieve it; Cineas in England, divers of the great counsellors were asked him, “Sir, what will you do then ?" presented from the French with jewels: the Lord
Then,” saith he, we will attempt Sicily.” Henry Howard, being then Earl of Northampton, Cineas said, “ Well, sir, what then ?" Saith and a counsellor, was omitted. Whereupon the Pyrrhus, “ If the gods favour us, we may con- king said to him, “ My lord, how happens it that quer Africa and Carthage.” “What then, sir?" you have not a jewel as well as the rest ?" My saith Cineas. “Nay then," saith Pyrrhus, “we lord answered, according to the fable in Æsop; may take our rest, and sacrifice and feast every “Non sum Gallus, itaque non reperi gemmam." day, and make merry with our friends." 66 Alas, 204. An orator of Athens said to Demosthenes; sir,” said Cineas, “may we not do so now with- “ The Athenians will kill you if they wax mad." out all this ado?"
Demosthenes replied, “ And they will kill you if 195. The ambassadors of Asia Minor came to they be in good sense." Antonius, after he had impose
205. Alexander sent to Phocion a great double tax, and said plainly to him : “ That if he sent of money. Phocion said to the messenger,
upon them a