ON THE MARRIAGE OF CAPT. FOOTE WITH

MISS PATTEN.

WITH a Patten to wife,

Through the rough road of life

May he safely and easily jog:

May the ring never break,

Nor the knot be found weak,
Nor the Foote find the Patten a Clog.

MATRIMONIAL JARS.

Wife. "YOU'RE a false cruel wretch, not a year after marriage
To try to degrade me, and put down the carriage.”

Husband. "A lady, my dear," was the answ'ring reproach,
"Is known by her carriage, but not by her coach."

ON THE MARRIAGE OF EBENEZER SWEET AND
JANE LEMON.

How happily extremes do meet in Jane and Ebenezer!
She no longer sour, but sweet; and he a Lemon squeezer.

ON THE DEPARTURE OF A CERTAIN COUNT FOR ITALY, WHENCE HE SENT SOME ITALIAN MUSIC

IN SCORE FOR THE OPERA.

HE has quitted the Countess; what can she wish more?
She loses her husband, and gets back a score.

S. ROGERS.

WOMAN'S CHARMS.

TRANSLATED FROM THE WELSH.

A WOMAN'S charms will pass away,
Her eyes grow dim, her teeth decay;
But while she breathes the vital gale,
'Tis strange her tongue should never fail.

SPOKEN EXTEMPORE TO A LADY ON BEING ASKED
WHAT THIS WORLD WAS LIKE.

THIS world is a prison in every respect,
Whose walls are the heavens in common;
The gaoler is sin, and the prisoners men,
And the fetters are nothing but-women.

MATRIMONIAL.

LOUD brayed an ass. Quoth Kate, "My dear,
(To spouse, with scornful carriage,)

One of your relatives I hear."

A LAWYER'S DECLARATION: THE BEST FEE,
THE FEMALE.

FEE-SIMPLE and the simple fee,

And all the fees in tail,

Are nothing when compared with thee,
Thou best of fees-fe-male.

MULTIPLICATION.

DICK had two aunts of large estate,
While want and hunger were his fate:
These dames death took, to end his woes,
And soon two aunts to ten-ants rose.

ON THE MARRIAGE OF MR.

TO MISS BURN.

WHEN love from restraint shall unsettle the head,
St. Paul has decreed it is better to wed;
As much as to say, would you quench your desire,
Take a leap from the frying-pan into the fire:
The bridegroom this paradox tries in its turn,
First he burns to get married, then marries to burn.

WOMAN'S WILL.

WHERE is the man who has the power and skill
To stem the torrent of a woman's will?

For if she will, she will, you may depend on't;
And if she won't, she won't, and there's an end on't.

ON MAN'S WILL.

THAT Woman's wrong who tries by force or skill

To stop the torrent of a man's self-will;

For if he says he won't, he will, you may depend on't; And if he says he will, he won't, and there's an end on't.

BOOTH'S EPIGRAMS.

WOMAN.

FAIR Woman was made to bewitch,
A pleasure, a pain, a disturber, a nurse,
A slave or a tyrant, a blessing or curse,
Fair woman was made to be-which?

TO A YOUNG LADY, WHO REQUESTED THE AUTHOR TO RESTORE A LOCK OF HAIR HE HAD

TAKEN FROM HER.

By one only recompense can I be led
With this beautiful ringlet to part;

That should I restore you the lock of your head,
You will give me the key of your heart.

MATRIMONY.

"My dear, what makes you always grave?"
(The wife exclaimed-her temper gone,)
"Is home so dull and dreary?"
"Not so, my love," he said, "not so,
But man and wife are one, you know;

And when alone I'm weary."

TO A YOUNG LADY, ON HER MARRIAGE WITH
MR. GEE.

SURE, madam, by your choice, your taste we see:
What's good, or great, or grand, without a G?
A godly glow must sure on G depend,

Or oddly low our righteous thoughts must end:
The want of G all gratitude effaces;

And, without G, the Graces would run races!

YES AND NO.

MR. BURKE once intended a lady to pleaseObserving some work that was pinned to her kneesBy asking what work she had got?

"I'm knotting," she answered, 'tis tiresome work, But pretty, when done; can you knot, Mr. Burke ?" "No, madam," said he, "I can not."

FROM THE GERMAN OF LESSING.

I ASKED my fair, one happy day,
What I should call her in my lay;
By what sweet name, from Rome or Greece-
Iphigenia, Clelia, Chloris,

Laura, Lesbia, Delia, Doris,

Dorimene, or Lucrece?

"Ah!" replied my gentle fair,

"Beloved! what are names but air?

Take thou whatever suits the line,
Clelia, Iphigenia, Chloris,
Laura, Lesbia, Delia, Doris-
But don't forget to call me-thine."

A PRUDENT CHOICE.

WHEN Loveless married Lady Jenny,
Whose beauty was the ready penny,
"I choose her," said he, "like old plate,
Not for the fashion, but for weight."

ON MISS RAIN.

WHILE shivering beaux at weather rail;
Of frost, and snow, and wind, and hail,
And heat, and cold complain,

My steadier mind is always bent
On one sole object of content-
I ever wish for Rain!

Hymen, thy votary's prayer attend;
His anxious hope and suit befriend;
Let him not ask in vain;

His thirsty soul, his parched estate,
His glowing breast commiserate-
In pity give him Rain!

TO MARY

AFTER SEEING THE CELEBRATED

STATUE "VENUS ORTA MARI."

WHEN I ascribed, as bound in duty,
The character of perfect beauty

To" Venus orta mari,"

I meant that I must hesitate
Perfection to appropriate-
To Venus or-to Mary.

TO A LADY WHO BOASTED OF HER ROSES
AND TULIPS.

THE roses are quite emblematic of thee,
Replete with each beauty divine;
And as for thy tulips, we all must agree,
No two lips are sweeter than thine.

A HAPPY REPLY.

A GENTLEMAN, who had for some time paid his addresses to a lady, was asked by her one day which he thought the prettiest flowers, roses or tulips? "Oh! give me your two-lips," said he, "before all the roses in the world." The lady instantly made the following reply:

"THAT may be, sir; but this you'll understand,

The man who takes my lips must take my hand."