ON RECEIVING A BRACE OF PHEASANTS FROM A LAW
CLERK, NAMED COPEMAN.

IN Copeman's ear this truth let echo tell,
"Immortal bards like mortal pheasants well;"
And when his clerkship's out, I wish him herds
Of golden clients, for his golden birds.

COWPER.

PETITION OF I AND U.

IN 1759, Dr. Hill wrote a pamphlet, entitled, " To David Garrick, Esq., the humble Petition of I, in behalf of Herself and Sister;" the purport of which was to charge Mr. G. with mispronouncing some words including the letter I, thus furm, vurtue, &c. The following answer was returned to Dr. H. by Mr. Garrick:

IF 'tis true, as you say, that I've injured a letter,
I'll change my notes soon, and I hope for the better;
May the just rights of letters, as well as of men,
Hereafter be fix'd by the tongue and the pen!

Most devoutly I wish they may both have their due,
And that I may be never mistaken for U.

A MAN OF WIT.

A-, they say, has wit; for what?
For writing?-No; for writing not.

SWIFT.

ON THE TWO LOCKES; IN IMITATION OF DRYDEN'S EPIGRAM ON MILTON.

Two Lockes in England have distinction claimed:

For thinking one, and one for eating famed.

That shone with lustre by the force of reason;

This figured chiefly in a ven'son season.

Knowledge and taste were by them both increased,
T' enrich a mental, or corporeal feast.

Both a fine taste endeavour'd to impart,

This had the body, that the mind at heart.

ON THE TWO HARVEYS.

Two Harveys had a secret wish
To shine in different stations:
The first invented sauce for fish,
The second "Meditations."

One to good living was allied,
T'other to holy dying;
This relishes a sole when fried,
That saves a soul from frying.

THE TWO CONGREVES.

THE Congreve of a former age
Fill'd many a sheet with wit;
In lieu whereof, our modern sage
With gunpowder fills it.

Thus, while the works of one endure
As long as things have names,
T'other's are only made to be
Committed to the flames.

THE TWO MARLBOROUGHS.

JOHN CHURCHILL, DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH, AND CHURCHILL THE POET.

IN Anna's wars immortal Churchill rose,
And, great in arms, subdued Britannia's foes;
A greater Churchill now demands our praise,
And the palm yields to the poetic bays.
Though John fought nobly at his army's head,
And slew his thousands with the balls of lead;
Yet must the hero to the bard submit,

Who hurls, unmatch'd, the thunderbolts of wit.

EX FUMO DARE LUCEM.

ON SEEING SOME OF MY SCRAPS BURNED.

"THOUGH dull my wit, my verses heavy stuff,
That you make light of them is clear enough."

POINTED.

A MEMBER of the Microscopical Society has the following Epigram written on a piece of glass not exceeding in size the hundredth part of a square inch :

"A POINT within an epigram to find

In vain you often try;

But here an epigram within a point,
You plainly may descry."

ON THE VOWELS.

WE are little airy creatures,
All of different voice and features;
One of us in glass is set,
One of us you'll find in jet.
T'other you may see in tin,
And the fourth a box within.
If the fifth you should pursue,
It can never fly from you.

SWIFT.

ON THE CENSORSHIP.

(From the German " Charivari," by A. SCHULTZ.)

ANXIOUSLY, Interrogation

Wondered: "Will the condemnation

Of the censor fall on me?"

Dash thought likewise, silently;

Comma stood a moment still,
"Must I feel his cruel quill?"
Semicolon's dread was stronger,
Tarried yet a moment longer;
Colon started up and cried:
"Me, too, will he thrust aside?"
"Ah! alas!" cried Exclamation,
"We are all in condemnation!"

Mister Censor came to see;
What they dreaded, that did he :

"Let the Period only be."

ON WILLIAM OLDYS, BY HIMSELF.

IN word and Will I am a friend to you;
And one friend Old is worth a hundred new.

PUNNING.

THAT punning is an idle sport,
And of all wit the lowest sort,
I must grant; for by its station,
"Tis evidently wit's foundation.

ON THE PUN.

WHY a pun to define do you make so much pother?
'Tis but to say one thing while meaning another;
And the truth of the axiom the way to decide is,
By remembering its origin,-"Punica fides."

TYPOGRAPHICAL WIT.

"Ho! Tommy," bawls Type, to a brother in trade,
"The ministry are soon to be changed, it is said."
"That's good," replied Tom, "but it better would be
With a trifling omission."
66 What?" "Dele the c."

A THIEF'S MISTAKE.

QUOTH a starved poet to a thievish shark,
Who search'd his house for money in the dark:
"Forbear your pains, my friend, and go away;
You'll not find now, what I can't in the day."

ON JEFFREY, THE EDINBURGH REVIEWER, RIDING
ON A DONKEY AT THE SEASIDE

SHORT, but not so fat as Bacchus,
Witty as Horatius Flaccus,
As great a Jacobin as Gracchus,
See little Jeffrey on a jackass.

SIDNEY SMITH.

TO AN UNFORTUNATE POET.
UNTHRIFTY wretch! why still confine
Thy soul and homage to the Nine?
'Tis time to bid the Nine begone,
And now take care of number one.

THE POET FOILED.

To win the maid the poet tries,
And sonnets writes to Julia's eyes;
She likes a verse, but,―cruel whim!
She still appears a-verse to him.

PUNCH.

ON DR. GOLDSMITH'S CHARACTERISTICAL COOKERY.

ARE these the choice dishes the doctor has sent us?
Is this the great poet whose works so content us?
This Goldsmith's fine feast, who has written fine books?
Heaven sends us good meat-but the devil sends cooks.

POPE.

WELSH BARDS.

'Tis said, O Cambria ! thou hast tried in vain
To form great poets; and the cause is plain :
Ap-Jones, Ap-Jenkins and Ap-Evans sound
Among thy sons, but no Ap-ollo's found.

TO A YOUNG LADY WHO HAD ASKED HIM TO WRITE SOMETHING ORIGINAL FOR HER.

An original something, dear maid, you would wish me

To write; but how shall I begin?

For I'm sure I have nothing original in me,
Excepting original Sin.

CAMPBELL.