If not to-morrow, madam, say but next Thursday, your uncle's birthday; say but next Thursday! "This I say, of this you may assure yourself, I never, never will be yours. And let me hope, that I may be entitled to the performance of your promise, to be permitted to leave this house as soon as the day breaks.' Did my perdition depend upon it, that you cannot, madam, but upon terms. And I hope you will not terrify me-Still dreading the accursed knife. "Nothing less than an attempt upon my honour shall make me desperate. I have no view, but to defend my honour with such a view only I entered into treaty with your infamous agent below." Then, taking one of the lights, she turned from us; and away she went, unmolested.-Not a soul was able to molest her. Mabell saw her, tremblingly, and in a hurry, take the key of her chamber-door out of her pocket, and unlock it : and, as soon as she entered, heard her double lock, bar, and bolt it. By her taking out her key, when she came out of her chamber to us, she no doubt suspected my design: which was, to have carried her in my arms thither, if she made such force necessary, after I had intimidated her; and to have been her companion for that night. She was to have had several bedchamber women to assist to undress her upon occasion; but, from the moment she entered the dining-room with so much intrepidity, it was absolutely impossible to think of prosecuting my designs against her. This, this, Belford, was the hand I made of a contrivance from which I expected so much!-And now am I ten times worse off than before. Thou never sawest people in thy life look so like fools upon one another, as the mother, her partners, and I, did for a few minutes. And at last, the two devilish nymphs broke out into insulting ridicule upon me; while the old wretch was concerned for her house, the reputation of her house. I cursed them altogether; and, retiring to my chamber, locked myself in. And now it is time to set out all I have gained, detection, disgrace, fresh guilt by repeated perjuries, and to be despised by her I doat upon; and, what is still worse to a proud heart, by myself. But for the lady, by my soul I love her, I admire her, more than ever! I must have her. I will have her stillwith honour, or without, as I have often vowed. My cursed fright at her accidental bloody nose, so lately, put her improving upon me thus. Had she threatened me, I should soon have been master of one arm, and in both! upon But she is not gone. She shall not go. I will press her with letters for the Thursday. She shall yet be mine, legally mine. For, as to cohabitation, there is now no such thing to be thought of. The captain shall give her away, as proxy for her uncle. My lord will die. My fortune will help my will, and set me above everything and everybody. But here is the curse-she despises me, Jack! What man, as I have heretofore said, can bear to be despised -especially by his wife? O Lord! O Lord! What a hand, what a cursed hand, have I made of this plot! And here ends The history of the lady and the penknife!!! The devil take the penknife! It goes against me to say, God bless the lady! MR. LOVELACE TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE. [Superscribed to Mrs. Lovelace.] M. Hall. Saturday night, June 24. Y DEAREST LIFE,-If you do not impute to love, and to terror raised by love, the poor figure M I made before you last night, you will not do me justice. I thought I would try to the very last moment, if, by complying with you in everything, I could prevail upon you to promise to be mine on Thursday next, since you refused me an earlier day. Could I have been so happy, you had not been hindered going to Hampstead, or wherever else you pleased. But when I could not prevail upon you to give me this assurance, what room had I (my demerit so great) to suppose, that your going thither would not be to lose you for ever? I will not offer to defend myself, for wishing you to remain where you are, till either you give me your word to meet me at the altar on Thursday; or till I have the honour of attending you, preparative to the solemnity which will make that day the happiest of my life. The orders I have given to the people of the house are: that you shall be obeyed in every particular that is consistent with my expectations of finding you there on my return to town on Wednesday next: that Mrs. Sinclair, and her nieces, having incurred your just displeasure, shall not, without your orders, come into your presence: that neither shall Dorcas, till she has fully cleared her conduct to your satisfaction, be permitted to attend you: but Mabell in her place; of whom you seemed some time ago to express some liking. Will I have left behind me to attend your commands. If he be either negligent or impertinent, your dismission shall be a dismission of him from my service for ever. But, as to letters which may be sent you, or any which you may have to send, I must humbly entreat, that none such pass from or to you, for the few days that I shall be absent. But I do assure you, madam, that the seals of both sorts shall be sacred and the letters, if such be sent, shall be given into your own hands the moment the ceremony is performed, or before, if you require it. : Meantime I will enquire, and send you word, how Miss Howe does; and to what, if I can be informed, her long silence is owing. Dr. Perkins I found here, attending my lord, when I arrived with Dr. S. He acquaints me, that your father, mother, uncles, and the still less worthy persons of your family, are well; and intend to be all at your uncle Harlowe's next week; I presume, with intent to keep his anniversary. This can make no alteration, but a happy one, as to persons, on Thursday; because Mr. Tomlinson assured me, that, if anything fell out to hinder your uncle's coming up in person (which, however, he did not then expect) he would be satisfied if his friend the captain were proxy for him. I shall send a man and horse to-morrow to the captain, to be at greater certainty. I send this by a special messenger, who will wait your pleasure in relation to the impatiently-wished-for Thursday: which I humbly hope will be signified by a line. His lordship is exceeding ill. Dr. S. has no hopes of him. The only consolation I can have for the death of a relation who loves me so well, if he do die, must arise from the additional power it will put into my hands of showing how much I am, My dearest life, Your ever-affectionate and faithful MR. LOVELACE TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE. M [Superscribed to Mrs. Lovelace.] M. Hall. June 25. Y DEAREST LOVE,-I cannot find words to express how much I am mortified at the return of my messenger without a line from you. At present, revolving my poor behaviour of Friday night before you, I think I should sooner choose to go to my last audit, unprepared for it as I am, than to appear in your presence, unless you give me some hope, that I shall be received as your elected husband, rather than (however deserved) as a detested criminal. Let me therefore propose an expedient, in order to spare my own confusion; and to spare you the necessity for that soul-harrowing recrimination, which I cannot stand, and which must be disagreeable to yourself to name the church, and I will have everything in readiness; so that our next interview will be, in a manner, at the very altar; and then you will have the kind husband to forgive for the faults of the ungrateful lover. If your resentment be still too high to write more, let it only be in your own dear hand, these words, St. Martin's Church, Thursday—or these, St. Giles's Church, Thursday; nor will I insist upon any inscription or subscription, or so much as the initials of your name. This shall be all the favour I will expect, till the dear hand itself is given to mine, in presence of that Being whom I invoke as a witness of the inviolable faith and honour of Your adoring LOVELACE. |