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in a wife, a friend, a companion, who will bear an equal share in all toils and affections.

Ir betokens as great a soul to be capable of owning a fault, as to be incapable of committing it.

FORCE OF AFFECTION.

"GOOD mind to pinch you, Sal," said an awkward Josey, on his first visit to his rustic flame. "What you 'ant to pinch me for, Zekiel ?" "Golly! 'cause I love you so!" "Now, go along, Zeke, you great hateful! I should think you might be big enough to feel ridiculous!"'

TEMPER.

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"I DON'T know where that boy got his bad temper; he did not take it from me.' Why, no, my dear, I don't perceive that you have lost any," was the affectionate reply of the sposa.

PLEASURES OF WINTER.

OH! for the days of winter again-for the crowded streets, thronged hotels, dray racing, and dashing business-for the nights of fun and fancy balls, open theatres and oysters, whirling coaches and whiskey punches. This is the time in Orleans when the press of business transforms itself into a great locomotive, and sets everybody and everything in a go a-head motion. Winter! we shall hail thy advent when it cometh.

PREPARATIONS TO PRACTISE LAW IN MISSISIPPI.

WE met a young eastern friend of ours a few days since in a shop purchasing a brace of pistols, and looking keenly at a large bowie knife. "What on earth are you about?" said we to our peaceful, demure acquaintance, who never before had han

dled such a weapon. "Why," he replied, "I have finished Burlemagni, Coke, Kent, Blackstone, &c., in Maine, and I am now about to emigrate to practise in Missisippi.

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A COMPLIMENT.

"Do make yourselves at home, ladies,” said a female to her visitors, one day. "I'm at home myself, and wish you all were.'

A NEW PROFESSION.

IN Paris there are a class of men who make it a business to get run over by carriages, for the purpose of recovering damages. (We should think they must recover themselves.)

HOW TO STOP A NEWSPAPER.

CALL at the office and fork up the arrearages, and order it stopped, like a man; and not refuse to take it out of the post-office, and sneak away like a puppy.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT.

A MILLER had his neighbour arrested under the charge of stealing wheat from his mill, but being unable to substantiate the charge by proof, the court adjudged that the miller should make acknowledgment to the accused. "Well," says he, "I have had you arrested for stealing my wheat. I can't prove it—and am sorry for it."

USEFUL.

THERE is a finger-post on the road near Lake Erie, which bears the following inscription :"When this post is six feet under water this road will be impassable."

A GOOD CORRESPONDENT.

"ARE you going west next week, Mr. T. ?" said

a lady. "Yes, I think I shall," was the reply. "Well, if I knew where to write, and who to write to, I would write to my uncle in Ohio."

THERE'S A LANGUAGE THAT'S MUTE.

A GENTLEMAN one Sunday morning was attracted to watch a country girl, on the high road from the village to the church, by observing that she looked hither and thither, this way and that, upon the high road, as if she had lost her thimble. The bells were settling for prayers, and there was no one visible on the road except the girl and the gentleman, who recognised in her the errand-maid of a neighbouring farmer. "What are you looking for, my girl?" asked the gentleman, as the damsel continued to pore along the dusty road. She answered gravely, "Sir, I am looking to see if my master be gone to church." Now, her master had a wooden leg.

GENEROSITY.

It is a miserable disposition that keeps a balance between obligations conferred and received. A person must indeed be of a sordid temper who can keep a debtor and creditor account of generosity.

SIMPLICITY AND INTEGRITY.

A RESPECTABLE farmer of Ross-shire, travelling a short distance on horseback, having occasion to cross the river Conan, found on the banks of the stream a young woman also desirous of getting across. She informed the farmer she was in quest of a situation, and had an excellent character from her last place. As the river was high, the goodnatured farmer took the girl up behind him on his horse, and conveyed her across the water. Unfortunately, however, the written certificate of cha

racter fell out of the young woman's bosom, and was carried off by the stream. She was in great distress at this mishap till the farmer assured her that he would give her a character; and this pledge he redeemed on their arrival at a house on the opposite side, in the following pithy words :— "This is to certify that the bearer, Peggy Mackenzie, lost her character while crossing the river Conan with me, Andrew Munro." This very equivocal statement was given in perfect good faith and sincerity. The girl accepted it with many thanks, but was soon convinced that the honest farmer's words did not correspond with his intentions, and that she required, what is generally difficult to obtain, a new character.

NEWSPAPERS.

THERE is no book so cheap as a newspaper; none so interesting, because it consists of a variety, measured out in suitable proportions as to time and quality. Being new every week or day, it invites to a habit of reading, and affords an easy and agreeable mode of acquiring knowledge, so essential to the welfare of the individual and the community. It causes many an hour to pass away pleasantly and profitably, which would otherwise have been spent in idleness and mischief.

EMPLOYMENT OF TIME.

THE Chancellor Aguessau wrote a work on jurisprudence, in five volumes, in the quarter of an hour each day his wife kept him waiting for dinner.

CHOICE COOKS.

It was not until the 17th century that cookery became a refined science, one requiring taste, judg

ment, intelligence, and invention. made confitures and preserves.

Louis XIII.

Louis XV. used

to prepare his coffee with his own hands. Frederick the Great always had the bill of fare regularly submitted to him every evening, with as much punctuality as if it had been an official report. He used to read it through attentively, correct it if necessary, and would express his satisfaction more like an ordinary mortal than a hero, if he met with any of his favourite dishes, among which were eel-pie and polenta. The profound thinker, Kant, was not so absorbed in metaphysics as to be regardless of good eating; on the contrary, he not only paid great attention to, but would frequently expatiate upon it in conversation.

SPIRITS IN IRELAND.

THE average sum daily spent on ardent spirit in Ireland is nearly 20,0007. (seven millions per annum), upwards of 8007. an hour.

APPLES.

ACCORDING to parliamentary returns it appears, that in the year 1838, foreign apples were imported into England to the value of 30,0001.

BUSINESS.

A GENTLEMAN in the country lately addressed a passionate billet-doux to a lady in the same town, adding this curious postscript, "Please to send a speedy answer, as I have somebody else in my eye."

BETTER THAN GOOD.

SOME time since, and by accident, three persons met at the Crown Inn, at Luton, one of them exclaimed with much glee, "Well, here are three

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