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we would come down a peg or two in our notions in accordance with our waning fortunes, happiness would be always within our reach. It is not what we have, or what we have not, which adds to or subtracts from our felicity. It is the longing for more than we have, the envying of those who possess that more, and the wish to appear in the world of more consequence than we really are, which destroy our peace of mind, and eventually lead to ruin.
A WHOPPER. We have heard of a man who is so tall that his pantaloons have to be wove in a rope walk. He folds up like a two-foot rule, and has to get upon his knees to put his hands in his pockets.
REMARKABLE PHENOMENON. THERE is a man in Vermont, who sneezes so hard, that every time he commences, he pitches a somerset.
An old lady in Claremont, New Hampshire, recently slept so sound, that when she awoke in the morning, she didn't know who she was.
A PRETTY girl was lately complaining to a Friend, that she had a cold, and was sadly plagued in her lips by chaps. “ Friend,” said Obadiah, should never suffer the chaps to come near thy lips.”
CURIOUS DEFINITION OF ICE, WHEN a boy, a native of the East Indies, was on a visit at the house of a friend in Edinburgh, he was shown water in a basin that had been frozen in the night. On being asked what it was, he said, “ It is water fallen asleep.”
NINE TAILORS MAKE A MAN.
SHERIDAN once presided at an election dinner in Coverit Garden, the company consisting of eighteen tailors. “ Gentlemen," said the wit, after the cloth was drawn, “I have the pleasure of drinking both your healths."
LOVE DEFINED. “ CÆSAR, wot him call lub ?” “ Why, Massa Sip, um like too much drinkee ; um tink ob young gal till um head go round like um big wheel; den him make dam fool ob himself.”
A HARDY seaman, who had escaped one of the recent shipwrecks upon the coast, being asked by a good lady, how he felt when the waves dashed over him, replied, “ Wet, madam, very wet.”
LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING. If you intend to marry ; if you think your happiness will be increased, and your interest advanced by matrimony, be sure and “ look where you're going.” Join yourself union with no woman who is selfish, for she will sacrifice you—with no one who is fickle, for she will become estrangedhave nought to do with a proud one, for she will despise you—nor with an extravagant one, for she will ruin you. Leave a coquette to the fools that flutter around her—let her own fire-side accommodate a scold-and flee from a woman who loves scandal as you would flee from the evil one.
“ Look where you're going,” will sum it all up. Young ladies, when you are surrounded by dashing men
when the tones of love and the words of compliment float out together; when you are excited by the movement of the whirling waltz, or melted by the tenderness of mellow music, arrest yourself in that rosy atmosphere of delight, and “ look where you are going
When the daring hand is pressing yours, or your delicate tresses are lifted by him you fancy loves you ; when the moonlight invites to trusting, and the stars seem to breathe out innocence, listen with caution to the words you hear-gaze into your heart unshrinkingly, and " look where you're going.”
We are so much the creatures of habit, that any great change has the effect of a moral chill.
We dread the future, unless it comes upon us imperceptibly ; whenever we anticipate, unless under some strong excitement of joy, we always fear. There are so many dangers, so many disappointments, and so many sorrows, ready to beset the human path, that we cannot but expect some at least to fall to our lot.
The great depend upon the little nearly as much as the little depend upon the great: the intrigues of the mighty and the powerful, the schemes of the noble and the high, are almost always found to be affected in their course-to derive their success, or receive their overthrow from the most mean and despised things that crawl almost unseen around their presence.
UNPROFITABLE DELIBERATION. ONE half of human life is made up of wasted consideration. The highways of the world are strewed with the sand of thoughts cast away. The events over which we have no control, affect our destiny a thousand fold more than the few that we can govern ; and while we ponder over our decision, fate decides for us, and the game is played.
GOOD ADVICE. WHENEVER you buy or sell, let or hire, make a clear bargain, and never trust to “ We shan't disagree about trifles."
VERY SINGULAR INDEED. A HORSE at Mayfield, Sussex, being terribly pestered with flies, kicked his hind foot into his mouth, in such a manner as to require the aid of a blacksmith ere the limb could be extricated.
THE TOURNAMENT. A TURKISH ambassador, who was present at a tournament in the reign of Charles VII. being asked his opinion of this Gothic amusement, replied, “If the fighters are in earnest, it is too little ; and if they are in jest, it is too much.”
THE GOLDEN FLEECE. Old Lambe of Burry us'd to goe very brave in his apparell, and King James seeing him one day in the field a-hunting, so glittering and radient as he eclips't all the court, the king ask't what he was. One of his followers told him it was one Lambe. “ Lambe,” sayes the king, “ I knowe not what kind of Lambe he is, but I am sure he hath a good fleece on his backe."
HARLEY MSS. INTERESTING QUESTION. At a debating club, the question was discussed, “ whether there is more happiness in the posses
sion or pursuit of an object.” “Mr. President," said a young orator, “suppose I was courtin' a young gal, and she was for to run away, and I was to run arter her, wouldn't I be appier when I cotched her than when I was running arter her ?"
SELF-GOVERNMENT. SELF-GOVERNMENT is one of the most difficult tasks that we are called upon to perform. History shows us that some of the greatest men have failed in it. Alexander could conquer the regions of Persia, but he could not conquer his passions. Cæsar triumphed in a hundred battles, but he fell a victim to the desire of being a king. Bonaparte vanquished nearly the whole of Europe, but he could not vanquish his own ambition. And in humble. life, nearer home, in our every-day affairs, most of us are often drawn aside from the path of duty and discretion, because we cannot resist some temptation or overcome some prejudice.
ADVICE, like snow, the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the heart.
WONDERS OF THE DEEP.
“ MISTER Sailor," said an old lady to a weatherbeaten tar, who called at her house for a luncheon,
you must see a great many curiosities at sea.' “O, yes,” said Jack, and immediately commenced telling of the great leviathans of the deep. how do these great fish live?” queried the old lady. “0,” said Jack, “much as large fish live on land,