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skin clean-thy digestion regular-thy head cooland a fig for the doctors."

NO STOPPING THEM.

SOME writer, with whom we perfectly agree, considers it consummate folly for half a dozen brothers, four uncles, a grey-headed father, and three servant girls to undertake the task of stopping a young girl's getting married to the man she loves and who loves her. Just as if rope ladders were out of date and all the horses in the world let down or spavined.

POOR PATRONAGE.

THE editor of the Memphis Enquirer says "he has about one hundred and twenty patrons that he don't intend shall patronise him any longer." We presume they belong to that peculiar class who patronise a paper by subscribing for it, not by paying.

AMERICAN SYMPATHY.-FROZEN TO DEATH.

GEORGE ZONER, of Baltimore, died from the effects of cold at Sing Sing, on Wednesday last. (The American editor, announcing the above, adds that the cold must have made him sing out.)

SUBLIME.

AN advertiser in a Providence paper, in describing a country seat, which he offers for sale, says, "Amongst the other delights of scenery, the canal meanders through its banks, in lofty and majestic splendour." Oh! hush!

THE REBuff.

D'ISRAELI says that "when a man has been twice rejected by a female, his feelings are some

what strange." Very likely. We have known some who were only rejected once and they felt mighty queer about it.

COOL IMPUDENCE.

"MR. SIMPKINS, you will please return my umbrella, which you borrowed a week or ten days Certainly, Mr. Timpkins, as soon as it

since.' 66 clears off."

"THE WHISKY BARREL," is the title of a new paper about to be established at Dresden, Tenn. It goes against the quart law strong, and is to advocate the doctrine that a man may drink an entire barrel, if it seemeth good unto him.

A HARD CASE.

AN Irish lad complained the other day of the harsh treatment he had received from his father. "He trates me," said he mournfully, "as if I was his son by another father and mother."

ANOTHER BOUNDARY DIFFICULTY.

THE bookbinders at the north have turned out for higher wages.

ONE REASON FOR STOPPING A PAPER.

AN editor of a newspaper in Virginia recently received a note from a distant subscriber, running nearly as follows:

SIR,-You will please discontinue my paper at the expiration of the year, as I do not find in it that species of information I was anxious to obtain when I subscribed. I have looked over it carefully for six months for the death of some individual I was acquainted with, but as yet not a single

soul I care anything for has dropped off. You will therefore please have my name erased.

R.

What a pity!

MUSICAL MICE.

"ON a rainy evening in 1817," says Dr. Archer, of Norfolk, in the United States, "as I was alone in my chamber, I took up my flute and commenced playing. In a few minutes, my attention was directed to a mouse that I saw creeping from a hole, and advancing to the chair in which I was sitting. I ceased playing, and it ran precipitately back to its hole. began again shortly afterwards, and was much surprised to see it re-appear, and take its old position. The re-appearance of the little animal was truly delightful; it couched itself on the floor, shut its eyes, and appeared in ecstasy. I ceased playing, and it instantly disappeared again. This experiment I repeated frequently with the same success, observing that it was always differently affected, as the music varied from the slow and plaintive to the brisk and lively. It finally went off, and all my art could not entice it to return."-A still more remarkable occurrence of the same kind took place, and was communicated to the "Philadelphia Medical and Physical Journal," by Dr. Cramer, of Jefferson's county, on the authority of a gentleman of undoubted veracity, who states that "one evening in the month of December 1817, as a few officers on board a British man-of-war, in the harbour of Portsmouth, were seated round the fire, one of them began to play a plaintive air on the violin. He had scarcely performed ten minutes, when a mouse, apparently frantic, made its appearance in

the centre of the floor. The strange gestures of the little animal strongly excited the attention of the officers, who, with one consent, resolved to suffer it to continue its singular actions unmolested. Its exertions now appeared to be greater every moment: it shook its head, leaped about the table, and exhibited signs of the most ecstatic delight. It was observed that, in proportion to the gradations of the tones to the soft point, the feelings of the animal appeared to be increased, and vice versâ. After performing actions which an animal so diminutive would, at first sight, seem incapable of, the little creature, to the astonishment of the delighted spectators, suddenly ceased to move, fell down, and expired, without evincing any symptoms of pain.

ANSWERS.

ANSWERS to the point are more satisfactory to the interrogator, but answers from the point may be sometimes more entertaining to the auditor. “ Were you born in wedlock?" asked a counsel of a witness. "No, sir, in Devonshire," was the reply.—" Young woman," said a magistrate to a girl who was about to be sworn; 66 why do you hold the book upside down?"-"I am obliged, sir, because I am lefthanded."

WHO'LL TURN THE GRINDSTONE?

WHEN I was a little boy, Messrs. Printers, remember one cold winter's morning I was accosted by a smiling man, with an axe on his shoulder. "My pretty boy," said he, " has your father a grindstone?" "Yes, sir," said I. "You are a fine little fellow," said he ; "will you let me grind my axe on it?" Pleased with his compli ment of "Fine little fellow," "O yes, sir," I

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answered, "it is down in the shop." "And will you, my man," said he, patting me on the head, get a little hot water?" How could I refuse? I ran, and soon brought a kettleful. "How old are you, and what's your name?" continued he, without waiting for a reply; "I am sure you are one of the finest lads I have ever seen; will you just turn a few minutes for me?" Tickled with the flattery, like a little fool I went to work, and bitterly did I rue the day. It was a new axe, and I toiled and tugged till I was almost tired to death. The school-bell rang, and I could not get away; my hands were blistered, and it was not half ground. At length, however, the axe was sharpened, and the man turned to me with," Now you little rascal, you've played the truant, scud to school or you'll buy it." Alas! thought I, it was hard enough to turn a grindstone this cold day, but now to be called a little rascal was too much. It sunk deep in my mind, and often have I thought of it since. When I see a merchant over polite to his customers-begging them to taste a little brandy, and throwing his goods on the counter-thinks I that man has an axe to grind. When I see a man flattering the people, making great professions of attachment to liberty, who is in private life a tyrant-methinks, Look out, good people, that fellow would set you turning grindstones. When I see a man hoisted into office by party spirit-without a single qualification to render him either respectable or useful— alas! methinks deluded people, you are doomed for a season to turn the grindstone for a booby?

AIR NAVIGATION !-GREAT DISCOVERY!! For five thousand dollars premium, I will engage

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