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have engaged my talents, as long as I shall live; and 3dly, of my chest of MS. papers, to my loving nephew Timothy Goosequill, of Petticoat Lane, journeyman-printer; now I do hereby declare, that the said bequest is not an absolute one, but subject to his performance of the conditions hereafter specified; that is to say, Imprimis, That he faithfully discharge all such of my funeral expences as cannot be included within the allowance made by the parish for my interment, 2dly, That he honestly liquidate any of my debts that may remain unpaid at the time of my decease; and which cannot be great or numerous, as no one, sage Iom Treacle the chandler, has given me: eredit, since iiy removal from the attic torths. gargrét in which I at present residę ;; and 3dly, That as soon as conveniently may be after my decease, he publish the third edition of the Bath Characters, a work which I printed last year, under the fictitious name of Peter Paul Pallet, and which he will find in
chest aforesaid prepared for the press, augmented by all such notes and illustrations as I have collected during my long indisposition; together with any additions he may be capable of making to the same, provided they be such, as will not diminish aught from the merit and reputation of the original work. And that he may be the better enabled to make such creditable additions to it, I give and bequeath to the said Timothy Goosequill, my full-bottom'd wig, in which, for these twenty years past, I have visited my employers the booksellers, and appeared at the literary table in the cyder-cellar, hoping that the use of it may impart to my said nephew a little of the genius and learning, which its curls have been accustomed to encircle. And lastly, I give and bequeath to the said Timothy Goosequill my silver ink-stand, the gift of my loving grandfather, (and lately rescued from the fangs of the pawnbroker) trusting, that as often as he dips his pen therein, he will be reminded of the honest labours of his uncle, who preferred a garret, and the cause of truth and virtue, to
purple, fine linen, and daily sumptuous fare, and the prostitution of his talents, in the service of humbug and vice. And it is my earnest and last request to my said dear nephew, that he will more especially direct the powers of the before-mentioned wig and ink-stand to the correction of the city of Bath, which offers such an ample field for satire and reprehension, and never cease endeavouring the reformation of its manners, till he have effected the following consummations most devoutly to be wished ; viz. cured Ramrod of his solemn foppery, and Rattle of his bare-faced impudence; taught Mrs. Vehicle a little modesty, and infused into Sir Gregory Croaker a scruple of diffidence; purged Signora Rattana of her vanity and affectation, and cleansed Bow-wow from indecency and scurrility; inspired Sir Clerical Orange with a grain of humility, and divested Sour-crout of peevishness and sarcasm ; instructed Borecat in Latin syntax, and stripped Mixum of medical humbug. That my said nephew can effect any reformation in the remaining characters I have no hope ; and therefore I do not make it a condition of this my codicil, or even urge it as my request that he should exhaust his time and labour in endeavouring to attain the following impossible objects, viz. to inspire Chip with a sense of decency; to cure Drawcansir of pride, pomp, and bigotry; purify Gaffer Smut from the filth of the Warburtonian school, and teach him candor, charity, and beneficence; to break Morose of swearing and Scotch snuff ; Vegetable of card-playing, and servility to the great; Sable of democracy and long sermons; and Skipper of petulance, conceit, and Calvinism.