Joseph S. [Sits.] I have not seen either since I left you; but I can inform you that they never meet. Some of your stories have taken a good effect on Maria.

Lady S. Ah! my dear Snake! the merit of this belongs to you; but do your brother's distresses increase?

Joseph S. Every hour. I am told he has had another execution in the house yesterday. In short, his dissipation and extravagance exceed everything I ever heard of.

Lady S. Poor Charles!

Joseph S. True, madam; notwithstanding his vices, one cannot help feeling for him. Poor Charles! I am sure I wish it were in my power to be of any essential service to him; for the man who does not feel for the distresses of a friend, even though merited by his own misconduct, deserves

Lady S. O Lud! [Rises and goes c.] You are going to be moral, and forget that you are among friends.

Joseph S. Egad, that's true! I'll keep that sentiment till I see Sir Peter. [Knock heard outside. Snake. I believe, Lady Sneerwell, here's company coming, I'll go and copy the letter I mentioned to you. [Goes up.] Mr. Surface, your most obedient.

Joseph S. [Turning to SNAKE.] Sir, your very devoted. [Exit SNAKE, R. C.] Lady Sneerwell, I am very sorry you have put any further confidence in that fellow.

Lady S. Why so?

Joseph S. [R.] I have lately detected him in frequent conference with old Rowley, who was formerly my father's steward, and has never, you know, been a friend of mine.

Lady S. And do you think he would betray us?.

Joseph S. Nothing more likely. [LADY SNEERWELL goes R.] Take my word for it. He has not honesty enough to be faithful even to his own villainy.-Ah! Maria! [Crosses L.

Enter MARIA, L., preceded by SERVANT.

Lady S. [R.] Maria, my dear, how do you do? What's the matter ?

Maria. [c.] Oh! that disagreeable lover of mine, Sir Ben

jamin Backbite, has just called at my guardian's with his odious uncle, Crabtree; so I slipped out, and ran hither to avoid them. Lady S. Is that all ?

Joseph S. [L.] If my brother Charles had been of the party, madam, perhaps you would not have been so much alarmed. [MARIA sits R.

Lady S. Nay, now you are severe; for I dare swear the truth of the matter is Maria heard you were here. [Sits.] But, my dear, what has Sir Benjamin done, that you should avoid him so?

Maria. Oh! he has done nothing-but 'tis for what he has said; his conversation is a perpetual libel on all his acquaint

ance.

Joseph S. Ay, and the worst of it is, there is no advantage in not knowing him-for he'll abuse a stranger just as soon as his best friend; and his uncle Crabtree's as bad.

Lady S. Nay, but we should make allowance.-Sir Benjamin is a wit and a poet.

Maria. For my part, I own, madam, wit loses its respect with me, when I see it in company with malice.

Lady S. Pshaw !-there's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature: the malice of a good thing is the barb that makes it stick.

Enter SERVANT, L.

Serv. Mrs. Candour. [Exit SERVANT, C. Lady S. Now, Maria, here is a character to your taste; for though Mrs. Candour is a little talkative, everybody allows her to be the best natured and best sort of woman.

Maria. Yes, with a very gross affectation of good nature and benevolence she does more mischief than the direct malice of old Crabtree.

Joseph S. I'faith that's true, Lady Sneerwell whenever I hear the current running against the characters of my friends, I never think them in such danger as when Candour undertakes their defence.

Lady S. Hush !—here she is,

[Goes to meet MRS. CANDOUR.

SERVANT shows in MRS. CANDOUR, L.

Mrs. Can. My dear Lady Sneerwell, how have you been this century? Mr. Surface, what news do you hear?though indeed it is no matter, for I think one hears nothing else but scandal.

Joseph S. [L.] Just so, indeed, ma'am.

Mrs. C. [Crosses to MARIA, and sits on chair R.] Oh, Maria! child,-what! is the whole affair off between you and Charles ?-His extravagance, I presume-the town talks of nothing else.

Maria. [R.] I am very sorry, ma'am, the town has so little to do.

Mrs. C. [R. C.] True, true, child: but there's no stopping people's tongues. I own I was hurt to hear it, as I indeed was to learn, from the same quarter, that your guardian, Sir Peter, and Lady Teazle, have not agreed lately as well as could be wished.

Maria. 'Tis strangely impertinent for people to busy themselves so.

Mrs. C. Very true, child :—but what's to be done?-People will talk-there's no preventing it. Why, it was but yesterday I was told that Miss Gadabout had eloped with Sir Filigree Flirt. But, Lord! there's no minding what one hears; though, to be sure, I had this from very good authority. Maria. Such reports are highly scandalous.

Mrs. C. So they are, child-shameful, shameful! But the world is so censorious-no character escapes.-Lord, now, who would have suspected your friend, Miss Prim, of an indiscretion? Yet such is the ill-nature of people that they say her uncle stopped her last week just as she was stepping into the York Mail with her dancing-master.

Maria. I'll answer for it, there are no grounds for that report.

Joseph S. The license of invention some people take is monstrous indeed.

Maria. 'Tis so; [Rises.] but, in my opinion, those who report such things are equally culpable.

Mrs. C. To be sure they are: [Rises.] tale-bearers are as bad as the tale-makers-'tis an old observation, and a very true But what's to be done? as I said before; how will you prevent people from talking?

one.

Joseph S. Ah, Mrs. Candour! [Rises.] If everybody had your forbearance and good-nature ! [LADY S. joins MARIA. Mrs. C. I confess, Mr. Surface, I cannot bear to hear people attacked behind their backs; and when ugly circumstances come out against our acquaintance, I own I always love to think the best. By the by, I hope 'tis not true that your brother is absolutely ruined?

Joseph S. I am afraid his circumstances are very bad indeed, ma'am.

Mrs. C. Ah! I heard so-but you must tell him to keep up his spirits; everybody almost is in the same way; so if Charles is undone, he'll find half his acquaintance ruined too, and that, you know, is a consolation.

Joseph S. Doubtless, ma'am-a very great one.

Crab. Lady Sneerwell, I kiss your hand. [Crosses to MRS. CANDOUR.]-Mrs. Candour, I don't believe you are acquainted with my nephew, Sir Benjamin Backbite? Egad! ma'am, he has a pretty wit, and is a pretty poet, too; isn't he, Lady Sneerwell?

Sir B. [L.] O fie, uncle!

Crab. [R. C.] Nay, egad, it's true; I back him at a rebus or a charade against the best rhymer in the kingdom.-Has your ladyship heard the epigram he wrote last week on Lady Frizzle's feather catching fire ?-Do, Benjamin, repeat it, or the

charade you made last night extempore at Mrs. Drowzie's conversazione. Come now!

Sir B. Uncle, now-pr'thee

[Crosses R. C. Crab. I'faith, ma'am, 'twould surprise you to hear how ready he is at these things. [Sits L. with MRS. CANDOUR. Lady S. [Sits R.] I wonder, Sir Benjamin, you never publish anything.

[Chocolate is here handed round by the SERVANT. Sir B. To say truth, ma'am, 'tis very vulgar to print, and as my little productions are mostly satires and lampoons on particular people, I find they circulate more by giving copies in confidence to the friends of the parties. [Crosses to MARIA.] However, I have some love elegies which, when favored with this lady's smiles, I mean to give the public.

Crab. 'Fore heaven, ma'am, they'll immortalize you!-you will be handed down to posterity, like Petrarch's Laura or Waller's Sacharissa.

Sir B. Yes, madam, I think you will like them, when you shall see them on a beautiful quarto page, where a neat rivulet of text shall murmur through a meadow of margin.-'Fore Gad, they will be the most elegant things of their kind.

Crab. [To MRS. CANDOUR.] But, ladies, that's true-have you heard the news?

Mrs. C. What, sir, do you mean the report of ——

Crab. No, ma'am, that's not it-Miss Nicely is going to be married to her own footman.

Mrs. C. Impossible!

Crab. Ask Sir Benjamin.

Sir B. [Going C.] 'Tis very true, ma'am; everything is fixed, and the wedding liveries bespoke.

[The SERVANT removes cups and exits. Mrs. C. [Crosses C.] It can't be—and I wonder any one should believe such a story, of so prudent a lady as Miss Nicely.

Sir B. [R. C.] O lud! ma'am, that's the very reason 'twas believed at once. She has always been so cautious and so reserved that everybody was sure there was some reason for it at bottom.

Mrs. C. Well, but this may be all a mistake. You know, Sir