A BLACK JOB "No doubt the pleasure is as great, Of being cheated as to cheat."—HUDIBRAS. THE history of human-kind to trace, Since Eve-the first of dupes-our doom unriddled, A certain portion of the human race Has certainly a taste for being diddled. Witness the famous Mississippi dreams! That cost our modern rogues so little trouble. To make French bricks and fancy bread of rubble, And Lord! what hundreds will subscribe for soap! Soap!-it reminds me of a little tale, Tho' not a pig's, the hawbuck's glory, Once on a time-no matter when- As smut to flour, as coal to alabaster, As crows to swans, as soot to driven snow, As ragman's dolls to images in plaster! However, as is usual in our city, Young, old, and middle-aged-of all degrees— With many of those persevering ones, Who mite by mite would beg a cheese! And what might be their aim? To rescue Afric's sable sons from fettersTo save their bodies from the burning shame Of branding with hot letters Their shoulders from the cowhide's bloody strokes, Their necks from iron yokes? To end or mitigate the ills of slavery, The Planter's avarice, the Driver's knavery? And make them worthy of eternal bliss? They look'd so ugly in their sable hides: Might wash themselves, Nobody knew if they were clean or not— On Nature's fairness they were quite a blot! That even while they join'd in pious hymn, In face and limb, They look'd like Devils, tho' they sang like Saints! The thing was undeniable! They wanted washing! not that slight ablution But good, hard, honest, energetic rubbing Sousing each sooty frame from heels to head So spoke the philanthropic man Who laid, and hatch'd, and nursed the plan- The tubs and slops, The baths and brushes in full operation! To see each Crow, or Jim, or John, Go in a raven and come out a swan! While fair as Cavendishes, Vanes, and Russels, Black Venus rises from the soapy surge, And all the little Niggerlings emerge As lily-white as mussels. Sweet was the vision-but alas! However in prospectus bright and sunny, To bring such visionary scenes to pass One thing was requisite, and that was-money! Money, that pays the laundress and her bills, For socks and collars, shirts and frills, Cravats and kerchiefs-money, without which A thing to make all Christians sad and shivery, To think of millions of immortal souls Dwelling in bodies black as coals, And living-so to speak-in Satan's livery! Money-the root of evil,-dross, and stuff! While he whose fortune was at best a brittle one, Moved by this logic, or appall'd, To persons of a certain turn so proper, The money came when call'd, In silver, gold, and copper, Presents from "Friends to blacks," or foes to whites, "Trifles," and "offerings," and "widows' mites," Plump legacies, and yearly benefactions, With other gifts And charitable lifts, Printed in lists and quarterly transactions. An iron kettle. The Dowager Lady Scannel, A piece of flannel. Rebecca Pope, Mr. T. Groom, Great were the sums collected ! And great results in consequence expected. At yearly courts, The blacks, confound them! were as black as ever! Yes! spite of all the water sous'd aloft, And scourers in the office strong and clever, In spite of all the tubbing, rubbing, scrubbing, The blacks, confound them! were as black as ever! In fact in his perennial speech, The Chairman own'd the niggers did not bleach, From being washed and soaped, A circumstance he named with grief and pity; For self and the Committee, By persevering in the present way And scrubbing at the Blacks from day to day, Lull'd by this vague assurance, The friends and patrons of the sable tribe And waited, waited on with much endurance— |