no means, this would most effectually defeat my purpose; I would rather not go than go thus. My object was to close my life in solitude, in the most complete retirement, and with those views, I commenced preparations for my voyage. I visited the brother of my departed wife, and I beheld both him and his children with the same eyes a dying person would have beheld them; tears frequently stole down my face, and a thousand thoughts, that served to harrow up my soul, crowded upon me; I was determined not to repeat this scene, and I bid them adieu; could I have done this upon a bed of death, how much happier should I have been.

The place I now occupied, to which I had recently removed, was extremely beautiful; it was in the vicinity of London, I had a fine garden, and a delightful prospect, but my better self had. fled this globe, and with her fled my soul's calm sunshine, every heart-felt joy. I was extremely wretched; I spake to the master of a vessel, bound to New-Nork, I agreed for my passage, my heart trembled, it was worse than death. He fixed the time for my departure, every arrangement was made. My brother, my widowed mother, I met them in my parlour, it was torturing. "Sit down, my son," said my weeping parent; "my brother appeared a silent spectacle of sorrow, I know you, my child, too well to expect I can alter your resolution; it is now too late, to beseech you would reflect, I know you have long reflected, and I am astonished to find you still determined.

"You have a charming situation, your prospects are good, could you but make your mind easy, you might still be happy; why, then, this aversion to life"? I interrupted her by declaring, that the whole world would not, could not detain me longer in England, yet I passionately loved my country, and my few remaining friends shared my heart's best affections. This voluntary exile was worse than death, but I was impelled to go, and go I must. My poor mother threw her fond arms about my neck, "once more, said she, you leave me, but not now as before; then you left me in my native place, among my natural connexions; then too I had hope you would be restored to me again-but now," and she burst into tears; my heart was agonized, I entreated her to consider me as on the bed of death, nor again to think of me, as of a living son; be thankful, my mother, be thankful it is no worse, be thankful I have not fallen a victim to the despondency

of my spirit: I leave you, it is true, but I leave you with your children, a son, a daughter, both kind and dutiful, and, what is better than all, I leave you in the hands, and under the care of a kind God, who hath said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. "But shall I hear from you, my son?" Do not, I entreat you, think of me as living; I go to bury myself in the wilds of America, no one shall hear from me, nor of me, I have done with the world, and prostrating myself in the presence of my mother and my God, with streaming eyes, and supplicating hands, I commended my soul, and all who were connected with, or allied to me, to that Being, who orders all things according to his own good pleasure.

I left my mother in an agony of affliction, and retired, but not to rest; my baggage had been sent on board ship in the morning, and, accompanied by my brother, we took a boat, and passed down to Grave's end, where I entered on board the vessel, that was to convey me to America, which in my then judgment was tantamount to quitting the world.

The vessel, however, did not immediately sail, I had an opportunity of going on shore again, and spending sometime at Grave's end. Fond of being alone, I ascended a lofty eminence, and sat me down'under the shade of a wide spreading tree; here I had inclination and leisure for reflection. On one hand I beheld the wide ocean, my path to the new world, on the other the Thames, upon whose silvery surface many were passing to London.

My mind rapidly ran over the various scenes I had witnessed since my arrival in that great city. I dwelt upon the good I had lost, never more to be recovered. My soul sickened at the recollection of my heavy bereavements, of the solitary situation to which I was reduced. I was going from a world in which I had some associates, and some friends, into a country where every individual was unknown to me! I was going on board a vessel, to the crew of which I was an utter stranger-all gloomy, truly gloomy. From one idea, however, I derived consolation; I might soon finish my course, and bid an eternal adieu to sorrow of every description. Yet I trembled at what was before me, I was fearful I was wrong; just at this period the wind shifted, the signal was made for sailing, but before I descended the eminence, I threw my eyes once more upon the surrounding scenes. I felt destitute and forlorn, tears gushed in my eyes. My domestic felicity, my social connexions, the pleasure

I had derived from listening to the testimony of truth, these all rushed upon my recollection, until my heart was nearly bursting. I prostrated myself with my face to the ground, with streaming eyes, exclaiming, Oh, thou dear parent earth, thou much loved native soil, why not open and give me a quiet resting place in thy bosom. Oh, thou dear departed friend of my soul, hast thou no power to loose these chains that bind me to this state of being. Is there no eye to pity, no hand to help a wretched outcast? Can I not be indulged with death? But death comes not at call. In this situation I continued, bedewing the earth with my tears, until it pleased the kind God to speak peace to my tortured heart, and I seemed to hear a voice calling unto me, Be of good cheer, your God is with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you, he is in the wide waste as in the city full. Be not afraid, when thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee, fear no evil, the friend of sinners will be with thee, and make thy way plain before thee, he will cause the desert to blossom as the rose. The young lions cry, and thy heavenly Father feedeth them. Thou art nearer and dearer to thy heavenly Father, than all the inhabitants of the deep, than all the tenants of the forests. Thus did the spirit of grace and consolation comfort my afflicted heart, so that after bidding an affectionate adieu to the scenes of the morning, and of the meridian of my days, after taking what I believed an eternal leave of my dear native soil, of my friends and relatives, after dropping many tears to the memory of each, and last of all to the ashes of my dearer self, with an aching head, a pained heart, and eyes swelled by weeping, I hastened on board the vessel, and upon the ensuing morning, as we passed round Beachy head, I beheld the white cliffs of Albion. No language can describe my sensations, as those white cliffs receded from my view, as I took a last look of England! I retired to my cabin, covered my face, and wept until I was completely exhausted. But God was pleased to lift up the light of his countenance upon me, my voyage passed more pleasantly than I had calculated, and I was the happy instrument of contributing to the comfort of many on board. I was not sick upon the passage, and I became more than reconciled to my circumstances, and almost dreaded the thought of reaching our destined port.

I did not anticipate my fate on my arrival; I had determined upon nothing, and yet I was not distressed; a perfect indiffer

ence pervaded my soul. I had in my trunks many articles of clothing, more than I should want, for I did not calculate upon being many years an inhabitant of this globe. I had some money, I had my Bible, and a very large collection of the letters of my Eliza, in which I took much delight, and upon the whole, I faneied myself rather rich than otherwise; in this state of resignation, indifference, or insensibility, I passed the greater part of the voyage.

As we drew near the coast of America, I experienced none of those delightful sensations, which swelled my bosom on returning to England from Ireland a few years before, neither did I experience those terrifying apprehensions, for which there was such abundant reason, on advancing to an unknown country, without patron or friend. My mind was calm and unruffled, neither elated by hope, nor depressed by fear. I had attained precisely the situation for which I had supplicated heaven, when entering upon this untried state of being, humbly depending upon that God, who in every place was still the same unchanging friend, of the creature whom he had made. I was, as it were, between two worlds, one I had tried, and finding it contained more of bitter than of sweet, I had turned from it with disgust. I advanced toward the other, without high-raised expectations, without fearful apprehensions.

I was pleased with the wonders of my God, as I beheld them in the great deep. I was amazed by the variety of inhabitants I saw, and yet how small a part could I trace. I was astonished at the number of birds I beheld all over the ocean. I thought if provision was made for them, I had no reason for fear. On a brilliant moonlight evening, our ship struck on something which threw us off our seats! What could it be, we were in the centre of the Western Ocean? We soon discovered it was a sleeping whale; we beheld too the water spout, so often described as a surprising phenomenon. Thus was my mind filled with wonder, and beguiled of its sorrows. We saw, also, a number of vessels on our way, some passing to the country we had left; my heart sighed as they pursued their course, and I frequently and audibly exclaimed, dear native country, never more to be seen by me, nor was this exclamation unaccompanied by a tear.

We were, as it was supposed, within three days' sail of NewYork, when we met a vessel bound for England. Our merchant

questioned the captain respecting the state of public affairs in America. The Americans had sometime before entered into the non importation agreement, and our merchant was anxious on account of the goods he had on board. The captain assured him, they had given up the agreement in Philadelphia, but that they adhered to it in New-York with great zeal. Our captain, therefore, received immediate orders to change the course of the vessel for Philadelphia; but when we had got near enough to this harbour, to take a pilot, the pilot informed us the reverse of the information we had received was the truth, upon which, the merchant determined to go as far as the city, there obtain a certainty, and if so, to proceed to New-York with all possible despatch. We were a considerable time passing up the Delaware, and upon a fine day, while we lay at anchor, the merchant proposed going on shore for the purpose of obtaining corn and fruit.

It was in the month of September, when we arrived in the Delaware; the country upon the banks of this fine river exhibited a most enchanting appearance, especially to those who hadbeen for many weeks out of sight of land, and had never before seen these shores. As we drew near the land, the woods, seeming to grow out of the water, had to me a very uncommon appearance; but every thing in this country was uncommon; we went on shore, and ascended a gentle rising, when entering into a small log house, I was astonished to see a woman preparing some excellent wild ducks for dinner-live in a log house and feed upon ducks! We past into her garden, where, amid its rich variety, my attention was arrested by a large peach tree loaded with the best fruit, bending to the earth! I was beyond expression charmed and delighted, and my heart bent with grateful affection to the kind Parent of all, for giving the inhabitants of this new world thus liberally to enjoy. When we reached Philadelphia, I was amazed to behold a city of such magnitude, in a country which I had considered as a wilderness. The captain mentioned it as a disappointment to me, that we had not put into New-York, as that was the place of my destination, but I requested him to make himself easy, as it was a matter of perfect indifference to me, upon what part of the country I landed, and if he could procure me a private lodging, I would go on shore in this city; this he told me he would do, but this