seek him. When my mind was rightly clothed, I then believed as I do now; that is, that it is not in the power of devils nor men, to invent an idea more diametrically opposite to the character of God and the good of mankind, than the doctrine of unconditional election and reprobation. If God has decreed all the actions and conditions of men, (as some Calvinists teach) it destroys the idea of virtue or vice, for one is as necessary to fill up the plan of God's secret -will as the other, and sin is as necessary to the glory of God as holiness, and ultimately they end in a like good. As to mankind, if their actions are all decreed, they have no purposes to make in their mind, either as to good or evil, they have only to float in the channel of God's irrefixable decrees. It would be useless to talk to men about a judgment, future rewards or punishments. Saith the apostle (Rom. iii, 5, 6, 7) "if our unrighteousness commend the righteousness of God, what shall we say? is God unrighteous who taketh vengeance?(I speak after the manner of a man) God forbid, for if the truth of God hath more abounded through my lie, unto his glory; why yet am I also judged as a sinner?" If the actions of men are all decreed, they must be all to the glory of God, and the apostles show there could be no judgment because there is no such thing as a sinner, there can be no reward reckoned to man for doing a deed, which is free and independently done only by

another; neither can there be any punishment inflicted on him who momentarily does the whole will of God. Dear reader, let not thy mind be frightened if I unmask the truth in simplicity. That God who has bound all things, with the actions and conditions of men, in time and in eternity, fast in fate, characterises the devil, more than a being of infinite wisdom and goodness, for all the evil actions of men do not originate from satan, but from God; satan is as necessary. in the purposes of God as the angel Gabriel, and if there is any such thing as reward for doing God's will, such as are principal actors ought to be considered worthy of double honhonor; so satan, as he is one of the principal agents in the purposes of God, he should be reckoned among all the servants of God, the first that is entitled to a reward for his great

service.

To avoid too much digression, I will now turn more particularly to my subject. Notwithstanding my mind felt a great change, I did not know that I had received any thing that might be called religion; neither was it necessary that I should know it. Religion, like fruit, has within itself every possible deliciousness and flavor peculiar to its kind, though the name may not be known. The name of an orange is no part of an orange, so the name (religion) is no part of the thing. The spirit of God is capable of interpreting itself, and such as receive it, receive the "new

name," which none knoweth, save them that receive it; they receive the nature, life and influence, with all that virtue which we can possibly understand of Christ, by the name religion. Hence I know by my own experience, that the notion (which some men propagate) that there can be no knowledge of christianity without the bible, is false. They might just as well contend, that a blind man could not tell bitter from sweet, pleasant food from that which is unpleasant, and that he could not be nourished and benefitted by the same, because he cannot discover it by the natural eye. Though I had no particular knowledge of the scriptures, such was the effect of the spirit which I enjoyed, that I felt to be at peace with God and with man; death and hell had lost their frightful features, and the thunder storm which was once so dreadful became as pleasant as music.

Though I felt much attached to the character of christians, yet I did not pretend in my own mind to class myself with them.My life and actions bore visible signs of that work which the spirit had wrought in me, and like that which the fire burns over, leaving a visible appearance behind, so the fruits of the spirit was for a little time visible in my life. I had a choice in my company, and used frequently to reprove the swearer; and I found great comfort in my mind when at any time I could converse with my mates on serious subjects. When at any time I lay down up

on my bed, my mind would immediately en gage in religious muse. I thought from what I saw in others, that I must use a vocal prayer, and accordingly I learned a few appropriate words. This form perhaps I did not miss saying night and morning, for a whole year. When I thought on eternal things, they were ever near, and if I thought on God I realized that I was immediately in his presence, and that all my thoughts were as well known to him as they were to myself. If I prayed to God either vocally or mentally, it appeared that my petitions reached to the very place where I would have them. But, O the advantage that the enemy had over me, on account of the disadvantageous situation in which I was placed in life! Fortune had deprived me of parental privileges at a very tender age, consequently I was thrown into the world, and exposed to the cool reception of what some people would call charity. But when I came to years of understanding I was made much more sensible of a selfish desire which some possessed, that they might get all they benefit they could out of me, than I was of their pity.

I was at this time living in a family where the unhappy disposition of the man, was cal culated to render all unhappy about him.Though he made a profession of religion, his conduct was such from time to time, that it was very stumbling to me. His disposition was unhappy, and his temper such as caused

me to fear him but not to love him. It was not seldom that he punished for the smallest offence, and I was punished severely only for his own suspicion. As I was a child I was like other children, subject sometimes to childish offences and to accidents like others of my age; offences and accidents equally rendered me a subject of his displeasure, and punishment was equally met too frequently by both. All this rendered my situation very disagreeable indeed. Such was the influence of his treatment to me it was hard to tell whether I dreaded his frowns or his whips most; but as both were disagreeable and generally sure, I was frequently induced to tell a falsehood to save myself from his displeasure; and indeed it was not uncommon that I denied accidents and offences of which I was guilty, as it was the only means which I could invent to shun his severity. O how trying was this to my mind? To lie would not agree with the principle which I had within me. Sometimes I thought that I would suffer much, rather than feel my conscience complain of me as it did; but as I had not grace to withstand my aggravations I had recourse to such means for my defence, as wounded my mind, and spoiled my confidence towards God.

After about three years, I could only remember the Lord as an ancient friend; tho' at the expiration of that time I was not without comfortable meditations; but I had not enough