what coach it was. " Ours," said honest Joht. Foote having been invited to dine with the late "And are the children in it ours too ?" said his lord. duke of Leinster, at Dublin, gave the following ac- ship, laughing. “ Most certainly, my lord,” replied count of this entertainment: Ås to splendour, as far John, with the utmost gravity, and immediately ran as it went, I admit it, there was a very fine sideboard to lift them out. of plate; and if a man could have swallowed a silver. smith's shop, there was enough to satisfy bim; but as to all the rest—his mutton was white, his veal Audley, being in want of money, applied to his soa

The late Mr. Philip Thicknesse, father of lord

for assistance. kept long enough : to sum up all, every thing was hired a cobbler's stall, directly opposite his lordships cold except his ice; and every thing sour except his vinegar.

house, and put up a board, on which was inscribed, MOLIERE'S GRAVE.

in large letters, “ Boots and shoes mended in the best

and cheapest manner, by Philip Thicknesse, father When Moliere, the comic poet, died, the arch- of lord Audley." His lordship took the hint, and bishop of Paris would not let his body be buried in the board was removed. consecrated ground. The king, being informed of this, sent for the archbishop, and expostulated with

AN UNTIMELY DEMAND. bim; but, finding the prelate inflexibly obstinate, A provincial actress was performing the part of his majesty asked, how many feet deep the conse- lady Ann, in King Richard the Third ; and on decrated ground reached ? This question coming by sur-livering the following passage :prise, the archbishop replied, about eight. "Well,”

" When shall I have rest ?" answered the king, “I find there's no getting the she was answered by her washerwoman, from the better of your scruples; therefore, let his grave be pit, who exclaimed, “Never, 'till you pay me my dug twelve feet deep, that's four below your conse-ihree shillings and twopence.” crated ground, and let him be buried there."

NP.. PITT AND DR. PALEY. General Zaremba had a very long Polish name ; The first time that Mr. Pitt went to Cambridge, the king of Prussia had heard of it, and one day after his election as member for the university, the said to him, “ Pray, Zaremba, what is your name?" sophs were naturally gaping for the good things in his The general told him the whole of it. “ Heavens!" gift. Dr. Paley, who preached before the young nisaid the king, “the devil himself has not such a nister, chose this appropriate text—" There is a las name !”—“Why should he ?" replied Zaremba, here that hath two barley loaves and three small ' he is no relation to me, if he is to your majesty." fishes; but what are these among so many ?"


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Ilis lordship was one day entering his house in

One Sunday, when Mr. Ogilvy, a Scottish clergyPall Mall, when he observed a basket of vegetables man, was in the middle of his sermon, an old woman, standing in the hall, and inquired of the porter to who kept an alehouse in the parish, fell asleep. Her whom they belonged, and from whence they came ? neighbour jogged her, in order to awake her. The Old John immediately replied, " They are ours,

parson seeing this, cried out, “I'll awaken her, I lord, " from our country-house.”—“Very well,” re-warrant you.-Phew!-(whistling )--Janet ! a bottle joined the peer. At that instant a carriage stopped of ale ani a dram!" To which well-known salataat the door, and lord George, turning round, asked |tion, she instinctively replied, “Coming, sir."




In the illuminations of a manuscript Bible at Paris, In a painting in a country church in Germany, under the Psalms, are two persons playing at cards; intended for the Sacrifice of Isaac, is represented and under Job and the Prophets are coats of arms Abraham with a blunderbuss in his haud, ready to

and a windmill. shoot his son, and an angel, suddenly coming down

Poussin, in his picture of the Deluge, has painted from heaven, pouring a certain water on the pan.

boats, not then invented. In a painting at Windsor, by Antonio Verrio, he EPITAPIL Ox COOKE, THE CELEBRATED ACTOR. has introduced himself

, Sir Godfrey Kneller, and Pause, thoughtful stranger : pass not heedless by, Bap. May, surveyor of the works, in long periwigs, Where Coone awaits the tribute of a sigh. as spectators of Christ healing the sick. A painter of Toledo once painted the story of the By nature given, not by art acquired.

Here sunk in death those powers the world admired, Three Wise Men of the East coming to worship. at In various parts his matchless talents shone, Bethlehem, where he represented them as three Arabian The one he failed in was, alas! his own. or Indian kings; two of them were white, and one of them black; but, when he drew the latter part of them kneeling, he made three black feet for the negro A lady once told St. Foix, that in her will she had king and three white feet for the two white kings. ordered her body to be opened after her death, as she

In the monument of Sir Cloudesley Shovel, in was afraid of being buried alive.
Westminster Abbey, he is represented rising out of

the sea, with a full-bottomed wig well powdered and

Dodd the comedian was very fond of a long story. In a church at Bruges is a picture of the Marriage ---Being in company one night, he began at twelve of Jesus Christ with Saint Catherine of Sienna, by o'clock to relate a journey he had taken to Bath : St. Dominic, the patron of the church. The Virgin and, at six o'clock in the morning, he had proceeded Mary joining their hands, and King David playing

no farther than the Devizes !—The company then rose, the harp at the wedding.

to separate ; when Dodd, who could not bear to be Albert Durer has represented an angel, in a curtailed in his narrative, cried, “Don't go yet; stay fiounced petticoat, driving Adam and Eve from Pa- and hear it out, and upon my soul I'll make it en

tertaining !” Lewis Cigoli painted a picture of the Circumcision of the Holy Child, Jesus, and drew the high priest,

Philips, in his Pastorals, makes shepherdesses tear Simeon, with spectacles on his nose. In a picture painted by F. Chello della Puera, the their hair and beat their breasts at their own deaths :

Ye brighter maids, faint emblems of my fair, blessed Virgin is placed on a velvet sofa, playing

With looks cast down, and with disheveli'd hair, with a cat and a paroquet, and about to help herself

In bitter anguish beat your breasts, and moan to coffee from an engraved coffee-pot.

Her death untimely, as it were your own." In another picture painted by Peter of Cortona, representing the reconciliation of Jacob and Laban, now in the French Museum,) the painter has repre A married intriguing lady insisting on having her Septed a steeple or belfry rising over the trees. lover's portrait, he remonstrated on the absurdity,

Paul Veronese placed Benedicting fathers and alleging it would amount to the proclaiming their Sviss soldiers among his paintings from the Old Tes-amour. Oh,” said she, “but to prevent a disco

very, it shall not be drawn like





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PRUDENT RESOLYE. Prov. The more the merrier.

Menage gives us the following specimen of French Cross. Not so; one hand is enough in a purse,

badauderie (cockneyism.) A gentleman who could P. He that runs fastest gets most ground.

not swim, one day in bathing got out of his depth, C. Not so; for then footmen would get more and would have been drowned, had not some swinground than their masters.

mers been at hand to save him, On recovering, he P. He runs far that never turns.

protested that he would never venture into the water C. Not so; he may break his neck in a short again, till he had learned to swim.



P. No man can call again yesterday.

A bailiff having been ordered by lady Hardwick to C. Yes; he may call till his heart ache, but it procure a 3ow of the breed and size she particularly will never come.

described to him, came one day into the dining-room, P. He that goes softly goes safely.

when full of great company, proclaiming with a burst C. Not among thieves.

of joy he could not suppress,

I have been at RorP. Nothing hurts the stomach more than surfciting. ston fair, my lady, and got a sow exactly of you C. Yes, lack of meat.

ladyship's size." P. Nothing is hard to a willing mind.

RIDDLES. C. Yes, lo get money.

Q. In words unnumber'd I abound, P. None so blind as they that will not see.

In me mankind do take delight; C. Yes, they that cannot see.

In me much learning still is found, P. There is no creature so like a man as an ape. Yet I can neither read nor write. C. Yes, a woman.

Answer. It is a book printed or wrillen.
P. Nothing but is good for something.

Q. With learning daily I am conversant,
C. Not so ; nothing is not good for any thing. And scan the wisdom of the wisest man;
P. Every thing hath an end.

With force 1 pierce the strongest argument,
C. Not so; a ring hath none, for it is round.

Yet know no more than it had never been. P. Money is a great comfort.

A. It is a worm that eals through the books ise C. Not when it brings a thief to the gallows, learned library. P. The world is a long journey.

Q. Full rich am I, yet care not who
C. Not so; the sun goes it every day,

Doth take away from me my wealth;
P. It is a great way to the bottom of the sea. Be it by fraud, I will not see,
C. Not so; it is but a stone's cast.

Nor prosecute, although by stealth.
P. A friend is best found in adversity.

A. It is a coffer wherein great riches are laid wp. C. Not so; for then there's none to be found. Q. Tho' I am pierced a thousand times.

P. The pride of the rich makes the labours of the Yet in me not a hole is made; poor.

I notice give when Phæbus climbs C. No, the labours of the poor make the pride of To drowsy mortals in their bed. the rich.

A. It is a window penetrated by the light. P. Virtue is a jewel of great price.

Q. I'm dragg'd along thro' dirt and mire, C. Not so; for then the poor could not come by O’er cragged stones and hills about; it.

And yet I neither faint nor tire,

But rather weary those that do't.
A. It is a coach drawn about by horses.



Q. Why is the Temple church so much like Hea- | Mrs. Drinkwater's apt to indulge in a dram,
Den ?

Mrs, Angel's an absolute fury,
A. There none are married, or in marriage given. | Apd meek Mr. Lion met fierce Mr. Lamb,

The church in the Temple was founded in the reign Tweak'd his nose in the lobby of Drury,
of Henry II., upon the model of that of the holy At Bath, where the feeble go more than the stout,
sepulchre at Jerusalem, and is extra-parochial. (A conduct well worthy of Nero,)

Over poor Mr. Lightfoot, confined with the gout,

Mr. Heaviside danced a bolero. Mr. Garrick, being at the seat of lord Fielding, went, with that nobleman, to see a puppet-show; and Miss Joy, wretched maid, when she chose Mr. Love, the former offering a shilling at the door for his ad

Found nothing but sorrow await her : mission, “Oh, no," cried the man, pass on, brother She now holds in wedlock, as true as a dove,

That fondest of mates, Mr. Hayter. manager, we never take money from one another.'

Mr. Oldcastle dwells in a modern-built hut,

Miss Sage is of madcaps the archesi; A man having business with a magistrate, who Of all the queer bachelors Cupid e'er cut, was an auctioneer, gave much offence, by neglecting Old Mr. Younghusband's the starchest. to call him-his worship; on which he committed Mr. Child in a passion knocks down Mr. Rock, him to gaol for contempt. When the man obtained

Mr. Stone like an aspen-leaf shivers, his discharge he constantly attended his worship's Miss Poole us'd to dance, but she stands like a stock, sales, bidding for almost every lot: “ threepence, Ever since she became Mrs. Rivers. your worship; sixpence, your worship;" which Mr. Swift hobbles onward, no mortal knows how, caused such scenes of laughter at the auctioneer's

He moves as though cords had entwin'd him ; expense, that he was glad to give the man ten guineas Mr. Metcalfe ran off upon meeting a cow, never to attend his sales any inore.

With pale Mr. Turnbull behind him.

Mr. Barker's as mute as a fish in the sea, Men once were surnam'd from their shape or estate,

Mr. Miles never moves on a journey, (You all may from history worm it,)

Mr, Gotubed sits up till half-after thrce, There was Lewis the Bulky and Henry the Great,

Mr. Makepeace was bred an attorney.
John Lackland and Peter the Hermit.

Mr. Gardener can't tell a flow'r from a root,
And now, when the door-plates of misters and dames Mr. Wild with timidity draws back,
Are read, each so constanily varies

Mr. Ryder performs all his journies on foot,
From the owner's trade, figure, and calling, surnames Mr. Foot all his journies on horseback,
Seem giv'n by the rule of contraries.

Mr. Penny, whose father was rolling in wealth, dfr. Box, though provok'd, never doubles his fist, Kick'd down all the fortune his dad won; Mr. Burns in his grate has no fuel,

Large Mr. Le Fever's the picture of health,
M. Playfair won't catch me at bazard or whist, Mr. Goode:rough is but a bad one.
Mr. Coward was wing'd in a duel.

Mr. Cruikshank stept into three thousand a year, Mr. Wise is a dunce, Mr. King is a whig,

By showing his leg to an heiress. Mr. Coffin's uncommonly sprightly.

Now I hope you'll acknowledge I've made it quite And huge Mr. Little broke down in a gia

clear, While driving fat Mr. Golightly.

Surnames ever go by contraries.







there was no father entry in the journal.) Tuesday, Many years since, the bench of Middlesex justices threatening to confine me all day, lay till after nine

waked at seven ; but the weather being rainy, and refused a licence to a publican who put up, Mr. —Ten, breakfasted and read the news-papers-very Wilkes for bis sign: he told them, so far from being dull and drowsy-Eleven, day clears up, and I resolve a friend to Wilkes, that he had hung him up in effigy; but if he had given offence, he was ready to pull

on a short ride to clear my head. down Wilkes, and hang up the whole bench of Middlesex justices instead.

An Irishman being asked by a friend, “Has your sister got a son or a daughter ?" answered,

“ Faith, I do not yet know whether I am an uncle or Thursday, eleven at night, went to bed : ordered my an aunt.” servant to wake me at six, resolving to be busy all next day.

DAGGER MARR AND GARRICK. Friday morning : Waked a quarter before six ; fell A performer, named Marr, was called by Mr. Garasieep again, and did not wake till eight.

rick, Dagger-Marr, from the cruel use he made of such Till nine, read the first act of Voltaire's Mahomet, characters as were allotted him. An actor having as it was too late to begin serious business.

made his first appearance, with many evident marks Ten: Having swallowed a short breakfast, went of disapprobation from the audience, Dagger, who out for a moment in my slippers—The wind having had not perforined that night, took Mr. Garrick asiele, left the east, am engaged by the beauty of the day, to and said to him I


this was not fair ; continue my walk-Find a situation by the river, if there was to be a murder committed to-night, I where the sound of my fute produced a very singular had as much right to liave a hand in it, as any body and beautiful echo- make a stanza and a half by way

else." of address to it---visit the shepherd lying ill of a low

SOLDIER'S EPISTLE. fever-find him somewhat better (Mem, to send him

An epistle from one Sergeant Hall of the Foot some wine)—meet the parson, and cannot avoid ask-Guards. It is directed, “ To Sergeant Cabe, in the ing him to dinner-returning home, find my reapers Coldstream Regiment of Foot-Guards, at the Redat work-superintend them in the absence of John, lattice in the Butcher-row, near Temple Bar. whom I send to inform the house of the parson's visit --read, in the mean time, part of Thomson's Seasons,

From the Cump before Jons, Sept. 26. which I had with me-From one to six, plagued with

“ COMPADE, the parson's news and stories take up Mahomet to “ I received yours, and am glad yourself and your put me in good humour-finish it, the time allotted wife are in good health, with all the rest of my friends. for serious study being elapsed-at eight, applied to Our battalion suffered more than I could wish in the for advice by a poor countryman, who had been op- action. But who can withstand fate? Poor Richard pressed-cannot say as to the law: give him some Stevenson had his fate with a great many more : He money-walk out at sun-set, to consider the causes of was killed dead before we entered the trenches. We the pleasure arising from it-at nine, sup, and sit till had above two hundred of our battalions killed and cleven hearing my nephew read, and conversing with wounded: We lost ten sergeants, six are as followeth : my mother, who was remarkably well and cheerful-Jennings, Castles, Roach, Sherring, Meyrick, and my

son Smith. The rest are not your acquaintance. I Saturday : Some company arrived to be filled up have received a very bad shot in my head mysell, but 19.morrow--(for that and the two succeeding days, I am in hopes, and, please God, I shall recover. I

go to bed.

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