interrupted him with warmth-"Now, Sir," said he, "can't you be content? you say you were not on the jury, and yet I have paid you, as though you had been-go about your business!" The juryman took him at his word, and departed, marvelling at the hature of the penalties inflicted on Exchequer Juries. bill. DR. RADCLIFFE AND THE PAVIER A pavier to whom this physician was indebted, after many fruitless attempts, caught him just getting out of his chariot, and demanded the payment of his "What, you rascal," said the doctor, "do you pretend to be paid for such a piece of work? Why, you have spoiled my pavement, and then covered it over with earth to hide your bad work!"-" Doctor, doctor," said the pavier, " mine is not the only bad work that the earth hides !"-"You dog," said the doctor, "you are a wit; you must be poor, come in," and he paid him his demand. CURE FOR THE QUINSY. Dr. Radcliffe was once sent for into the country to a gentleman who was dangerously ill of a quinsy; and the doctor soon perceived that no application, internal or external, would be of any service; upon which he desired the lady of the house to order the cook to make a large hasty pudding; and when it was done, to let his own servant bring it up. While the cook was about it, he took his man aside, and instructed him what he was to do. In a short time the man brought up the pudding in great order, and set it on the table, in full view of the patient. "Come, John," said he, "you love hasty pudding, eat some along with me, for I believe you came out without your breakfast." Both began with their spoons, but John's spoon going twice to his master's once, the doctor took occasion to quarrel with him, and dabbed a spoonful of hot pudding in his face; John resented it, and threw another at his master. This put the doctor in a passion, and, quitting his spoon, he took the pudding up by handfuls, and threw it at his man, who battled him again in the same manner. The patient, who had a full view of the skirmish, was so tickled at the fancy, that he burst into a fit of laughter, which broke the quinsy, and cured him; for which the doctor and his man were well rewarded. WINE AND PHYSIC. A gentleman, who was affected with a constant rheum in his eyes, waited on his physician for advice. The doctor desired him to leave off drinking wine. In a few weeks, the gentleman experienced the good effect of the prescription, and thought he could do no less than call on the doctor to return him thanks. He was not a little surprised to find him in a tavern, and very merry over a bottle of wine with a friend, notwithstanding his eyes were affected with the same disease he had just removed. 'Well," said the gentleman, "I see you doctors don't follow your own prescriptions." The son of Esculapius knew in an instant what he meant, and made this observation: " If you love your eyes better than wine, don't drink it; but as I love wine better than my eyes, I do drink it." The estate is all yours, boy, as sure as a gun, Now she's married, may have a son older than me," REASONS FOR SYMPATHY. Why do men sooner give to poor people that beg, than to scholars? The reason is, because they think they may sooner come to be poor, than to be scholars. THREE ROYAL QUESTIONS. answer, That you think me to be the abbot of Glas tonbury, when as indeed I am but Jack his cook." A SIMPLE REPLY. In the court of King's Bench, a witness, named Lincoln, was called to prove a hand-writing; and, having looked at the paper some time without speaking, Mr. Erskine exclaimed, "Well, Sir, what is your belief? Don't let the devil overlook Lincoln, but give us your belief of the hand-writing." The witness, with great composure, turned round and said, "I did not observe, Sir, that you were looking over me; and as for the hand-writing, I can form no judgment of it," King Henry the Eighth having a month's mind to the abbot of Glastonbury's estate (who was one of the richest abbots in England) sent for him to his court, and told him, that unless he could resolve him three questions, he should not escape with his life. The abbot, willing to get out of his clutches, promised his best endeavours. The king's questions "So at the bar the booby Bettesworth, were these: first, Of what compass the world was Though half-a-crown o'erpays his sweat's worth, about? Secondly, How deep the sea was? And, Who knows in law, nor text, nor margent, thirdly, What the king thought? The abbot deCalls Singleton his brother sergeant." sired some few days' respite, which being granted, The poem was sent to Bettesworth, at a time when he returned home, but with intent never to see the he was surrounded with his friends in a convivial king again, for he thought the questions impossible party He read it, then flung it down with great to be resolved. His grief coming at last to the ears violence-took out his penknife, and, opening it, of his cook, he undertook, upon forfeiture of his life, vehemently swore, "With this very penknife will I to resolve these riddles, and to free his master from cut off his ears." He then went to the dean's house, danger. The abbot willingly consented. The cook and desired the doctor might be sent for; and on put on the abbot's clothes, and at the time ap- Swift entering, and asking what were his commands, pointed went to the court, and being like the abbot," Sir," said he, "I am Sergeant Bettesworth." was taken by all the courtiers to be the same man. what regiment, pray, Sir?" said Swift. When he came before the king, he thus resolved his Dean, we know your powers of raillery, you know me three questions. First, of what compass the world well enough; I am one of his majesty's sergeants at was about? He said, "It was but twenty-four hours law, and I am come to demand if you are author of journey, and if a man went as fast as the sun, he this poem, (producing it,) and these villainous lines might easily go it in that space." The second, How on me?" Sir," said Swift, "when I was a young deep the sea was? He answered, Cnly a stone's man, I had the honour of being intimate with some cast; for throw a stone into the deepest place of it, great legal characters, particularly lord Somers; and in time it will come to the bottom." To the who, knowing my propensity to satire, advised me, third," which I conceive," saith he, your majesty when I lampooned a knave or a fool, never to own it. thinks the most difficult to resolve: but indeed it is Conformably to that advice, I tell you that I am not the easiest, that is, What your highness thinks? Ithe author," MR. SERGEANT BETTESWORTH AND DEAN SWIFT. The following lines on Sergeant Bettesworth, which Swift inserted in one of his poems, gave rise to a violent resentment on the part of the barrister 66 "Of "O Mr. ODE TO AN OLD WIG. For wig! not patriot whig! that title rare! may thy rags her chequer'd verse inspire, Or thou might'st to great Thurlow belong. Or if into times more remote, The muse has permission to ken, Again to Parnassus I fly, And to tell you the truth, so am I. Like unto Butler's bear and fiddle, "Though torn to pieces by the barber dire, But like the phoenix burst upon the day, MEDITATION ON A BROOMSTICK This single stick, which you now behold, ingloriously lying in that neglected corner, I once knew flourishing in a forest; it was full of sap, full of leaves, and full of boughs! But, now, in vain does the busy art of man pretend to vie with nature, by tying that withered bundle of twigs to its sapless trunk; it is now at best but the reverse of what it was-a tree turned upside down-the branches on the earth, and the root in the air! It is now handled by every dirty wench, condemned to do her drudgery, and, by a capricious kind of fate, destined to make other things clean, and be nasty itself! At length, worn to the stumps in the service of the maids, it is either thrown out of doors, or condemned to the last use, of kindling a fire! When I beheld this, I sighed, and said within myself, "Mortal MAN is a broomstick!" Nature sends him into the world strong and lusty, in a thriving condition, wearing his own hair on his head, the proper branches of a reasoning vegetable, till the axe of intemperance has lopt off the green boughs, and left him a withered trunk: he then flies to art, and puts on a perriwig, valuing himself upon an unnatural bundle of hairs all covered with powder, and that never grew on his head! But now, should this our broomstick pretend to enter the scene, proud of those birchen spoils it never bore, and all covered with dust, through the sweeping of the finest lady's chamber, we should be apt to ridicule and despise its vanity. Partial judges that we are of our own excellencies, and other men's defaults! But a broomstick, perhaps, you will say, is an emblem of a tree standing on its head; and, pray, what is MAN but a topsy-turvy creature, his animal perpetually mounted on his rational faculties, his head where his heels should be, grovelling on the earth; and yet, with all his faults, he sets up to be a universal reformer and corrector of abuses, as well as remover of grievances; till, worn to the stumps, like his brother besom, he is either kicked out of doors, or made use of to kindle flames for others to warm themselves by. SWIFT. between them: and therefore complains, that on a certain day and year, at Thorne, there was an agreement between the aforesaid Robert and John, whereby the said John sold to the said Robert, the devil, bound in a certain bond, for threepence farthing; and thereupon, the said John, one farthing, as earnest money; by which the property of the said devil rested in the person of the said Robert, to have livery of the said devil, on the fourth day next following, at which day the said Robert came to the forenamed John, and asked delivery of the said devil, according to the agreement between them made. But the said John refused to deliver the said deyil, nor has he yet done it, &c. to the great damage of the said Robert, to the amount of sixty shillings; and he has therefore brought his suite, &c. The said John came, and did not deny the said agreement; and because it appeared to the court that such a suite ought not to subsist among Christians, the aforesaid parties are therefore adjourned to the infernal regions, there to hear their judgment; aud both parties were amerced, &c. by William de Scargell, Seneschal.” DAVID JONES, OR WINE AND WORSTED. whose cousin was, the Lord knows who fle could unfold the mystery high, Blount's Law Dictionary gives an instance of buy-Scan Virgil, and in mathematics ing and selling the devil; the story is extracted from Prove that straight lines were not quadratics. the court rolls of the manor of Hatfield, near the isle All Oxford hail'd this youth's ingressus, of Axeholme, York, of which the following is a transla-And wond'ring Welshmen cried, " Cot pless us !" tion: "Robert de Roderham appeared against John | It happen'd that his cousin Hugh de Ithon, for that he had not kept the agreement made From Oxford pass'd, to Cambria due, |