And frae pure dulness are malicious,
Terming ilk turn that's witty, vicious.
Now, Jamie, in neist place, secundo,
To give you what's your due in mundo;
That is to say in hame-o'er phrases,
To tell ye, men of mettle praises
Ilk verse of yours, when they can light on't,
And trouth I think they're in the right on't;
For there's ay something sae auld-farrant,
Sae slid, sae unconstrain'd, and darin,
In ilka sample we have seen yet,
That little better here has been yet:
Sae much for that.—My friend Arbuckle,
I ne'er afore roos'd ane so muckle:
Fause flatt'ry nane but fools will tickle,
That gars me hate it like auld Nicol:
But when ane's of his merit conscious,
He's in the wrang, when prais'd, that glunshes.
Thirdly, not tether'd to connection,
But rattling by inspir'd direction,
Whenever fame, with voice like thunder,
Sets up a chield a warld's wonder
Either for slashing fowk to dead,
Or having wind-mills in his head,
Or poet, or an airy beau,
Or ony twa-legg'd rary-show,
They wha have never seen't are bissy
To speer what like a carlie is he.
Imprimis then, for tallness, I
Am five foot and four inches high;
A black-a-vic'd snod dapper fallow,
Nor lean, nor over-laid wi' tallow;
With phiz of a Morocco cut,
Resembling a late man of wit,
Auld gabbet Spec, (1) wha was sae cunning
To be a dummie ten years running.
Then for the fabric of my mind,
"Tis mair to mirth than grief inclin'd:
I rather choose to laugh at folly,
Than show dislike by melancholy;
Well judging a sour heavy face
Is not the truest mark of grace.
I hate a drunkard or a glutton,
Yet I'm nae fae to wine and mutton:
Great tables ne'er engag'd my wishes,
When crowded with o'er mony dishes;
A healthfu' stomach sharply set
Prefers a back-sey piping het.
I never cou'd imagine't vicious
Of a fair fame to be ambitious:
Proud to be thought a comic poet,
And let a judge of numbers know it,
I court occasion thus to show it.
Second of thirdly, pray take heed,
Ye's get a short swatch of my creed.
To follow method negatively,
Ye ken, takes place of positively:
Well then, I'm nowther whig nor tory, (2)
Nor credit give to Purgatory;
Transub., Loretta-house, and mae tricks,
As prayers to saints Katties and Patricks;
(1) The Spectator; who gives us a fictitious description of his short face and taciturnity; that he had been esteemed a dumb man for ten years. (2) Ramsay was a zealous tory from principle. But he was much caressed by Baron Clerk and other gentlemen of opposite principles, which made him outwardly affect neutrality. His "Vision," and "Tale of three Bonnets," are sufficient proofs of his zeal as an old Jacobite : but, wishing to disguise himself, he published this, and the "Eagle and Redbreast," as ancient poems, and with the fictitious signature of " A. R. Scor;" whence they are generally attributed to an old poet, Alexander Scot, of whose composition there are several pieces in the collection pub.. lished by Ramsay, called "The Evergreen."
Nor Asgilite, (1) nor Bess Clarksonian, (2)
Nor Mountaineer, (3) nor Mugletonian ; (*)
Nor can believe, ant's nae great ferly,
In Cotmoor fowk and Andrew Harlay. (5)
Neist, Anti-Toland, Blunt, and Whiston,
Know positively I'm a Christian,
Believing truths and thinking free,
Wishing thrawn parties wad agree.
Say, wad ye ken my gate of fending,
My income, management, and spending?
Born to nae lairdship, (mair's the pity!)
Yet denison of this fair city;
I make what honest shift I can,
And in my ain house am good-man,
Which stands on Edinburgh's street the sun-side:
I theck the out, and line the inside
Of mony a douse and witty pash,
And baith ways gather in the cash;
Thus heartily I graze and beau it,
And keep my wife ay great wi' poet:
Contented I have sic a skair,
As does my business to a hair;
And fain wad prove to ilka Scot,
That poortith's no the poet's lot.
(1) Mr. Asgil, a late member of parliament, advanced (whether in jest or earnest I know not) some very whimsical opinions; particularly, that people need not die if they pleased, but be translated alive to heaven like Enoch and Elijah.
(2) Bessy Clarkson, a Lanarkshire woman. Vide the history of her life and principles.
(3) Our wild folks, who always prefer a hill side to a church under any civil authority.
(4) A kind of quakers, so called from one Mugleton. See Leslie's Snake in the Grass.
(5) A family or two who had a particular religion of their own, valued themselves on using vain repetitions in prayers of six or seven hours long: were pleased with ministers of no kind. Andrew Harlaw, a dull fellow of no education, was head of the party.
Fourthly and lastly baith togither,
Pray let us ken when ye come hither;
There's mony a canty carle and me
Wad be much comforted to see ye:
But if your outward be refractory,
Send us your inward manufactory,
That when we're kedgy o'er our claret,
We correspond may with your spirit.
Accept of my kind wishes, with
The same to Dons Butler, and Smith;
Health, wit, and joy, sauls large and free,
Be a' your fates:- -sae God be wi' ye.
TO THE EARL OF DALHOUSIE. (1)
DALHOUSIE of an auld descent,
My chief, my stoup, and ornament,
For entertainment a wee while,
Accept this sonnet with a smile.
Setting great Horace in my view,
He to Mæcenas, I to you;
But that my muse may sing with ease,
I'll keep or drap him as I please.
How differently are fowk inclin'd,
There's hardly twa of the same mind!
Some like to study, some to play,
Some on the Links to win the day,
(1) [* See vol. i. p. 96.]
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