as the tale-makers 't is an old observation, and a very true one: but what 's to be done, as I said before?-how will you prevent people from talking? To-day, Mrs. Clackitt assured me, Mr. and Mrs. Honeymoon were at last become mere man and wife, like the rest of their acquaintance. She likewise hinted that a certain widow, in the next street, had got rid of her dropsy and recovered her shape in a most surprising manner. And at the same time, Miss Tattle, who was by, affirmed, that Lord Buffalo had discovered his lady at a house of no extraordinary fame; and that Sir Henry Boquet and Tom Saunter were to measure swords on a similar provocation. But, Lord, do you think I would report these things?—No, no! talebearers, as I said before, are just as bad as the tale-makers.

JOSEPH. Ah! Mrs. Candour, if every body had your forbearance and good-nature!

MRS. CANDOUR. I confess, Mr. Surface, I cannot bear to hear people attacked behind their backs; and when ugly circumstances come out against our acquaintances, I own I always love to think the best. (MARIA retires up a little to LADY SNEERWELL) By the by, I hope 't is not true that your brother is absolutely ruined?

Jos. I am afraid his circumstances are very bad indeed, ma'am.

MRS. C. Ah! I heard so-but you must tell him to keep up his spirits; every body almost is in the same wayLord Spindle, Sir Thomas Splint, Captain Quinz, and Mr. Nickit all up, I hear, within this week; so if Charles is undone, he 'll find half his acquaintance ruined too, and that, you know, is a consolation.

Jos. Doubtless, ma'am a very great one.

Enter Servant.

SERVANT. Mr. Crabtree and Sir Benjamin Backbite. [Exit Servant. L. SNEERWELL. So, Maria, you see your lover pursues you, (MARIA is about to leave) positively you shan't escape.

Enter CRABTREE and SIR BENJAMIN BACKBITE.

CRABT. Lady Sneerwell, I kiss your hand-Mrs. Candour, I don't believe you are acquainted with my nephew,

1. All up, all ruined.

Sir Benjamin Backbite? Egad! ma'am, he has a pretty wit, and is a pretty poet too; is n't he, Lady Sneerwell?

SIR BENJAMIN. O fie, uncle.

CRABTREE. Nay, egad it 's true; I back him at a rebus or a charade against the best rhymer in the kingdom. — Has your Ladyship heard the epigram he wrote last week on Lady Frizzle's feather catching fire?-Do, Benjamin, repeat it, or the charade you made last night extempore at Mrs. Drowzie's conversazione. Come now; your first is the name of a fish, your second a great naval commander, and— SIR BENJ. Uncle, now-pr'ythee

CRABT. I'faith, ma'am,' would surprise you to hear how ready he is at all these fine sort of things.

LADY SNEERWELL. I wonder, Sir Benjamin, you never publish any thing.

SIR BENJ. To say truth, ma'am, 't is very vulgar to print; and as my little productions are mostly satires and lampoons on particular people, I find they circulate more by giving copies in confidence to the friends of the parties. (crosses to MARIA) However, I have some love elegies, which, when favoured with this lady's smiles, I mean to give the public.

CRABT. 'Fore heaven, ma'am, they 'll immortalise you! -you will be handed down to posterity, like Petrarch's Laura, or Waller's Sacharissa.

SIR BENJ. Yes, madam, I think you will like them, when you shall see them on a beautiful quarto page, where a neat rivulet of text shall meander though a meadow of margin. 'Fore Gad, they will be the most elegant things of their kind.

3

CRABT. But, ladies, that 's true--have you heard the news?

MRS. CANDOUR. What, sir, do you mean the report of CRABT. No, ma'am, that 's not it-Miss Nicely is going to be married to her own footman.

(MARIA goes up-JOSEPH follows her) MRS. C. Impossible! CRABT. Ask Sir Benjamin.

SIR BENJAMIN. 'T is very true, ma'am; every thing is fixed, and the wedding liveries bespoke.

CRABTREE. Yes-and they do say there were pressing reasons for it.

LADY SNEERWELL. Why, I have heard something of this before.

MRS. CANDOUR. It can't be and I wonder any one should believe such a story, of so prudent a lady as Miss Nicely.

SIR BENJ. O Lud! ma'am, that's the very reason 't was believed at once. She has always been so cautious and so reserved, that every body was sure there was some reason for it at bottom.

MRS. C. Why, to be sure, a tale of scandal is as fatal to the credit of a prudent lady of her stamp, as a fever is generally to those of the strongest constitutions. But there is a sort of puny, sickly reputation, that is always ailing, yet will outlive the robuster characters of a hundred prudes.

SIR BENJ. True, madam, there are valetudinarians in reputation as well as constitution; who, being conscious of their weak part, avoid the least breath of air, and supply their want of stamina by care and circumspection.

MRS. C. Well, but this may be all a mistake. You know, Sir Benjamin, very trifling circumstances often give rise to the most injurious tales.

CRABT. That they do, I'll be sworn, ma'am.-Did you ever hear how Miss Piper came to lose her lover and her character last summer at Tunbridge?-Sir Benjamin, you remember it?

SIR BENJ.

stance.

Oh, to be sure!— the most whimsical circum

L. SNEERW. How was it, pray ?

CRABT. Why, one evening, at Mrs. Ponto's assembly, the conversation happened to turn on the breeding Nova Scotia sheep in this country. Says a young lady in company, "I have known instances of it- for Miss Lititia Piper, a first cousin of mine, had a Nova Scotia sheep that produced her twins." "What!" (imitating) cries the Lady Dowager Dundizzy (who you know is as deaf as a post), "has Miss Piper had twins?" (all laugh heartily) The next morning it was every where reported, and in a few days believed by the whole town, that Miss Letitia Piper had actually been brought to bed of a fine boy and a girl; and in less

than a week there were some people who could name the father and the farm-house where the babies were put to nurse. LADY SNEERWELL. Strange indeed!

CRABTREE. Matter of fact, I assure you. (SIR BENJ. goes up to MARIA, JOSEPH advances) O Lud! Mr. Surface, pray is it true that your uncle, Sir Oliver, is coming home? JOSEPH. Not that I know of, indeed, sir.

CRABT. He has been in the East Indies a long time. You can scarcely remember him, I believe?-Sad comfort whenever he returns, to hear how your brother has gone on!

Jos. Charles has been imprudent, sir, to be sure; but I hope no busy people have already prejudiced Sir Oliver against him. He may reform.

SIR BENJAMIN. (advancing) To be sure he may: for my part, I never believed him to be so utterly void of principle as people say; and though he has lost all his friends, I am told nobody is better spoken of by the Jews.

CRABT. That's true, egad, nephew. If the Old Jewry was a ward, I believe Charles would be an alderman:

no man more popular there, -'fore Gad! I hear he pays as many annuities as the Irish tontine; 2 and that whenever he is sick, they have prayers for the recovery of his health in all the synagogues.

4

SIR BENJ. Yet no man lives in greater splendour. They tell me, when he entertains his friends, he will set down to dinner with a dozen of his own securities; have a score of tradesmen waiting in the ante-chamber; and an officer 5 behind every guest's chair.

Jos. This may be entertainment to you, gentlemen, but you pay very little regard to the feelings of a brother..

1. A ward is a district in a city, | trusted, in each county, the exerepresented in the city corporation cution of the laws; a sheriff's ofby an alderman. - The Old Jewry is a street in the City (of London.) 2. Tontine, a loan raised on life annuities with the benefit of survivorships, so called from the inventor, Tonti, an Italian.

ficer is a man in the employment of the sheriff, charged with the arresting of debtors and carrying out of executions for debt; as these men, when once in possession, cannot leave the house containing the property seized, or permit any thing to be removed, till the debt is paid, they are sometimes disguised as livery-servants and wait upon the company in that capacity.

MARIA. (advances) Their malice is intolerable. Lady Sneerwell, I must wish you a good morning; I 'm not very well. [Exit MARIA, they all exchange looks.

MRS. CANDOUR. O dear! she changes colour very much. LADY SNEERWELL. Do, Mrs. Candour, follow her; she may want assistance.

MRS. C. That I will with all my soul, ma'am. Poor dear girl, who knows what her situation may be! [Exit MRS. CANDOUR.

L. SNEERW. 'T was nothing but that she could not bear to hear Charles reflected on, notwithstanding their difference.

SIR BENJAMIN. The young lady's penchant is obvious. CRABTREE. But, Benjamin, you must not give up the pursuit for that; follow her and put her into good humour. Repeat her some of your own verses. Come, I'll assist you. SIR BENJ. Mr. Surface, I did not mean to hurt you; but depend on it your brother is utterly undone.

CRABT. O Lud, he 's undone as ever man was. Can't raise a guinea.

SIR BENJ.

movable.

And everything sold, I 'm told, that was

Not a

CRABT. I have seen one that was at his house. thing left but some empty bottles that were overlooked, and the family pictures, which, I believe, are framed in the wainscots.

SIR BENJ. And I 'm very sorry, also, to hear some bad stories against him.

CRABT. Oh! he has done many mean things, that 's certain.
SIR BENJ. But, however, as he 's your brother-

CRABT. We'll tell you all another opportunity.'

[CRABTREE and SIR BENJAMIN bow to LADY S. and JOSEPH, and go off.

L. SNEERW. Ha, ha! 't is very hard for them to leave a subject they have not quite run down. 2

Jos. And I believe the abuse was no more acceptable to your ladyship than Maria.

L. SNEERW. I doubt her affections are farther engaged than we imagine. But the family are to be here this evening, so you may as well dine where you are, and we shall have

1. i. e. at another opportunity. 2. To run down, to exhaust.

3. i. e. I doubt not but; I believe.