Her father hath commanded her to slip Her mother, even strong against that match, She shall go with him :-her mother hath intended, SCENE I.-A Room in the Garter Inn. (For they must all be mask'd and vizarded) Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me. To give our hearts united ceremony. Host. Well, husband your device: I'll to the vicar. Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt. ACT V. Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY. Fal. Pr'ythee, no more prattling;-go:-I'll hold. This is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go. They say, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.Away. Quick. I'll provide you a chain, and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs. QUICKLY. Enter FORD. How now, master Brook! Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall see wonders. Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed? Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man; but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you. He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliah with a weaver's beam, because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in haste: go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford, on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow. Strange things in hand, master Brook: follow. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-Windsor Park. Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENder. Page. Come, come: we'll couch i' the castle-ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-Remember, son Slender, my daughter. Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry, "mum;" she cries, "budget," | and by that we know one another. Shal. That's good too: but what needs either your "mum," or her "budget?" the white will decipher her well enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock. Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-The Street in Windsor. Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Dr. CAIUS. Mrs. Page. Master Doctor, my daughter is in green: when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go before into the park: we two must go together. Caius. I know vat I have to do. Adieu. Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit CAIUS.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break. Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welch devil, Evans? Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the night. Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked. Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their lechery, Those that betray them do no treachery. Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on: to the oak, to the [Exeunt. oak! SCENE IV.-Windsor Park. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, and Fairies. Eva. Trib, trib, fairies: come; and remember your parts. Be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit, and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you. Come, come; trib, trib. [Exeunt. SCENE V.-Another Part of the Park. Enter FALSTAFF disguised, with a Buck's Head on. Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me!-remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns.-O powerful love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a man, in some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love of Leda: O, omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose !-A fault done first in the form of a beast;-O Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl: think on't, Jove; a foul fault.-When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest: send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe? Enter Mrs. FORD and Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer? Fal. My doe with the black scut?-Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of "Green Sleeves;" hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. [Embracing her. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart. Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch: I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I like Herne the hunter?-Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome. [Noise within. Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise? Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Page. Fal. I think, the devil will not have me damned, lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he would never else cross me thus. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, like a Satyr; Mrs. QUICKLY, and PISTOL; ANNE PAGE, as the Fairy Queen, attended by her brother and others, dressed like fairies, with waxen tapers on their heads. Queen. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, Attend your office, and your quality. Pist. Elves, list your names: silence, you airy toys! Fal. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them, shall die: [To himself. I'll wink and couch. No man their works must eye. [Lies down upon his face. Eva. Where's Bead?-Go you, and where you find a maid, That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, But those that sleep, and think not on their sins, Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out: Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring : Eva. Lock hand in hand: yourselves in order set; Queen. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end: Fal. Oh, oh, oh! Come, will this wood take fire? [They burn him with their tapers. Queen. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! Fie on sinful fantasy! Fed in heart; whose flames aspire, As thoughts do blow them higher and higher. Pinch him, fairies, mutually; Pinch him for his villainy; Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, Till candles, and star-light, and moon-shine be out. During this song, the fairies pinch FALSTAFF: Doctor CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a fairy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a fairy in white; and FENTON comes, and steals away ANNE PAGE. A noise of hunting is made within. All the fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's head, and rises. Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, and Mrs. FORD. They lay hold of him. Page. Nay, do not fly: I think, we have match'd you now. Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn? Mrs. Page. I pray you come; hold up the jest no higher. Now, good sir John, how like you Windsor wives? Ford. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now!-Master Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his horns, master Brook: and, master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be paid to master Brook: his horses are arrested for it, master Brook. Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill-luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again, but I will always count you my deer. Fal. I do begin to perceive, that I am made an ass. Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are extant. Fal. And these are not fairies! I was three or four times in the thought, they were not fairies; and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now, how wit may be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon ill employment! Eva. Sir John Falstaff, serve Ġot, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you. Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh. Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you. Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English. Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'er-reaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welch goat too? shall I have a coxcomb of frize? "Tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese. Eva. Seese is not good to give putter: your pelly is all putter. Fal. Seese and putter! have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust, and late-walking, through the realm. been Anne Page, would I might never stir, and 'tis a post-master's boy. Page. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. Slen. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took a boy for a girl: if I had been married to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had him. Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you, how you should know my daughter by her gar ments? Slen. I went to her in white, and cried "mum," and she cried "budget," as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it was not Anne, but a post-master's boy. Mrs. Page. Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married. Enter Doctor CAIUS. Caius. Vere is mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened; I ha' married un garçon, a boy; un paisan, by gar, a boy: it is not Anne Page; by gar, I am cozened. Mrs. Page. Why, did you take her in green? Caius. Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy : by gar, I'll raise all Windsor. [Exit CAIUS. Ford. This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne? Page. My heart misgives me. Here comes master Fenton. Mrs. Page. Why, sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple | to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our Enter FENTON and ANNE Page. delight? How now, master Fenton ! [They kneel. Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon. Page. Now, mistress; how chance you went not with master Slender? Ford. What, a hog-pudding? a bag of flax? Page. Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails? Ford. And as wicked as his wife? Eva. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles? Fal. Well, I am your theme: you have the start of me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welch flannel. Ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use me as you will. Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom you should have been a pander: over and above that you have suffered, I think, to repay that money will be a biting affliction. Page. Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee. Tell her, master Slender hath married her daughter. Mrs. Page. Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this, doctor Caius' wife. [Aside. Enter SLENDER, crying. Slen. Whoo, ho! ho! father Page! Page. Son, how now! how now, son! have you despatched? Slen. Despatched!-I'll make the best in Gloucestershire know on't; would I were hanged, la, else. Page. Of what, son? Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry mistress Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly boy: if it had not been i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it had Mrs. Page. Why went you not with master doctor, maid? Fent. You do amaze her: hear the truth of it. You would have married her most shamefully, Where there was no proportion held in love. The truth is, she and I, long since contracted, Are now so sure, that nothing can dissolve us. The offence is holy that she hath committed; And this deceit loses the name of craft, Of disobedience, or unduteous guile, Since therein she doth evitate and shun A thousand irreligious cursed hours, Which forced marriage would have brought upon her. Ford. Stand not amaz'd: here is no remedy.In love, the heavens themselves do guide the state: Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. Fal. I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced. Page. Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy. What cannot be eschew'd must be embrac'd. Fal. When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chas'd. Mrs. Page. Well, I will muse no farther.-Master Heaven give you many, many merry days.- Ford. Let it be so.-Sir John, SCENE I.—An Apartment in the DUKE's Palace. Enter DUKE, ESCALUS, Lords, and Attendants. Duke. Escalus! Escal. My lord. Duke. Of government the properties to unfold, Would seem in me t' affect speech and discourse; Since I am apt to know, that your own science Exceeds, in that, the lists of all advice My strength can give you: then, no more remains, But add to your sufficiency your worth, And let them work. The nature of our people, Our city's institutions, and the terms [Giving it. Lent him our terror, drest him with our love, Did not go forth of us, 'twere all alike As if we had them not. Spirits are not finely touch'd, But, like a thrifty goddess, she determines Both thanks and use. But I do bend my speech To one that can my part in him advertise: Hold, therefore, Angelo: [Tendering his commission. In our remove be thou at full ourself; Mortality and mercy in Vienna Live in thy tongue and heart. Old Escalus, Ang. [Giving it. Now, good my lord, Duke. Ang. Yet, give leave, my lord, That we may bring you something on the way. Duke. My haste may not admit it; Nor need you, on mine honour, have to do With any scruple: your scope is as mine own, So to enforce, or qualify the laws As to your soul seems good. Give me your hand. Nor do I think the man of safe discretion, Escal. I shall desire you, sir, to give me leave A power I have, but of what strength and nature Ang. "Tis so with me. Let us withdraw together, Touching that point. Lucio. Nay, not as one would say, healthy; but so sound as things that are hollow: thy bones are hollow; impiety has made a feast of thee. Enter Bawd. 1 Gent. How now? Which of your hips has the most profound sciatica ? Bawd. Well, well; there's one yonder arrested, and carried to prison, was worth five thousand of you all. 2 Gent. Who's that, I pray thee? Bawd. Marry, sir, that's Claudio; signior Claudio. 1 Gent. Claudio to prison! 'tis not so. Bawd. Nay, but I know, 'tis so; I saw him arrested; saw him carried away; and, which is more, within these I'll wait upon your honour. [Exeunt. three days his head is to be chopped off. SCENE II.-A Street. Enter Lucio and two Gentlemen. Lucio. If the duke, with the other dukes, come not to composition with the king of Hungary, why then, all the dukes fall upon the king. 1 Gent. Heaven grant us its peace, but not the king of Hungary's! 2 Gent. Amen. Lucio. Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate, that went to sea with the ten commandments, but scraped one out of the table. 2 Gent. Thou shalt not steal? Lucio. Ay, that he razed. 1 Gent. Why? "Twas a commandment to command the captain and all the rest from their functions: they put forth to steal. There's not a soldier of us all, that, in the thanksgiving before meat, doth relish the petition well that prays for peace. 2 Gent. I never heard any soldier dislike it. Lucio. I believe thee; for, I think, thou never wast where grace was said. 2 Gent. No? a dozen times at least. 1 Gent. What, in metre? Lucio. In any proportion, or in any language. 1 Gent. I think, or in any religion. Lucio. Ay; why not? Grace is grace, despite of all controversy as for example; thou thyself art a wicked villain, despite of all grace. 1 Gent. Well, there went but a pair of sheers between us. Lucio. I grant; as there may between the lists and the velvet thou art the list. 1 Gent. And thou the velvet? thou art good velvet: thou art a three-pil'd piece, I warrant thee. I had as lief be a list of an English kersey, as be pil'd, as thou art pil'd, for a French velvet. Do I speak feelingly now? Lucio. I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful feeling of thy speech: I will, out of thine own confession, learn to begin thy health; but, whilst I live, forget to drink after thee. 1 Gent. I think, I have done myself wrong, have I not? 2 Gent. Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted, or free. Lucio. Behold, behold, where madam Mitigation comes ! 1 Gent. I have purchased as many diseases under her roof, as come to 2 Gent. To what, I pray? Lucio. Judge. 2 Gent. To three thousand dollars a-year. 1 Gent. Ay, and more. Lucio. A French crown more. Bawd. But what's his offence? Clo. Groping for trouts in a peculiar river. Clo. All bawdy houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be pluck'd down. Bawd. And what shall become of those in the city? Clo. They shall stand for seed: they had gone down too, but that a wise burgher put in for them. Bawd. But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be pull'd down? Clo. To the ground, mistress. Bawd. Why, here's a change, indeed, in the commonwealth! What shall become of me? Clo. Come; fear not you: good counsellors lack no clients: though you change your place, you need not change your trade; I'll be your tapster still. Courage! there will be pity taken on you; you that have worn your eyes almost out in the service: you will be considered. Bawd. What's to do here, Thomas Tapster? Let's withdraw. Clo. Here comes signior Claudio, led by the provost to prison; and there's madam Juliet. [Exeunt. 2 Gent. Thou art always figuring diseases in me; But from lord Angelo by special charge. but thou art full of error: I am sound. Claud. Thus can the demi-god, authority, |