If Quin had now lived he would have idolized Mr. Ude, who could have provided him with dishes more piquant even than John Dories, or turtle-soup, which that epicurean comedian prized so highly-that when asked what he would call for, if he might have two wishes gratified, replied, that the first wish should be to have a throat a mile long, lined with John Dories all the way;-the second wish that the River Thames should be turtle-soup, and his mouth the middle arch-Soups-Fish-Removes-Forced meats-Flesh-Fowls of Westminster-bridge!

our readers, did not delicacy forbid us. We may men- lently succoured his aged parents. "Citizens," cried he,
tion, however, a few traits of Mr. Ude's character. A "Ude is a cook; but, for this reason, let us not neglect
joke has got into circulation, that when in the cradle, he the Roman virtue of gratitude. Ude saved the life of my
strangled two large eels, in humble imitation of Hercules; father and mother, and I will save his. He is an Alex-
but this we do not believe. We know, however, that from ander in bravery; and, though not a Macedonian, he is
infancy he showed the most delicate taste of the seasoning fairly the Empereur des Macédoines." The pun and
of his pap; and that his palate could detect the most speech were both received with applause. Ude escaped to
trifling variation in its sweetness and savour; and he would England; was received into the household of Lord Sefton,
roar, as he himself has told us, "comme quatre bœufs de whom he quitted, because Lord Molyneux was said to
Limoges," till it acquired the true taste. At school, the have put salt into a soup of his composition; was long
ill-cooked meats were abominable to him, and he used to steward to the Duke of York; witnessed, as cook, the po-
employ his pocket-money in purchasing the little earthen pularity of the United Service Club, which originated en-
pots and fours in use in France, and cooked his rations in tirely in the discussion of one of Ude's dinners; and, after
his own way. The other boys tasted, and admired, and cooking, with great applause, the Parliamentary dinners
followed his example; and Ude to this day, with an of last season, is now superintending the suppers at Crock-
honest pride, says," Sare, I have make it a school of ford's.
cookery; twenty dirty boys are aujourd'hui cooks. Two We ought not to omit to say, that some of the receipts
of my camarades of school cook toder day at Mr. Jarrin's in Mr. Ude's work have been sold as high as fifty guineas
horridcoloral fête" It was with the greatest difficulty each. The Receipt for Turtle" is inestimable. It oc-
that young Ude could be taught to read, and it was only cupies four pages of the volume. When Lord Sefton gave
by the promise that he should read nothing but cookery his first party after he possessed Ude, he considered that
books that he could be induced to learn. As soon as he as turtle was a purely English dish, he ought to engage an
could spell, the Cuisinier Bourgeois was put into his English cook to dress it. When Ude tasted the soup, he
hands, and he proceeded through a regular course of exclaimed," Ventrebleu, dis is tortue au pauvre homme
cookery books up to the Almanach des Gourmands. Latin-dis is workhouse turtle!" and after meditating for a
it was at one time thought impossible to teach him; but week, and making experiments for a month, he produced
the principal of the College of St. Louis, where he was such a soup, that Ude said of it, "Par Dieu! Sir William
educated, luckily bethought him of directing Ude's atten- Curtis say I make water in his mouth when he taste my
tion to Apicius de Opsoniis et Condimentis; on hearing potage à la tortue!" When Herschel made a discovery
of which, Ude immediately took to Musa, Musa, and of a new star some years ago, Ude said, "Ah, I do not
soon was able to discuss the Roman cookery receipts. want new stars-parbleu, would prefer to see one new
While his school-fellows were engaged in merely drawing dish; but for de new star, I do not care moch; we always
outline maps of France, Ude was embellishing his with see of dem enough, plenty old stars. Sir Humphry
sketches of the various articles of cookery produced by Davy dined with Lord Sefton after being appointed presi-
each town or department: thus Toulouse was repre- dent of the Royal Institution, and Ude, who was a pri-
sented by a drawing of a pâté, instead of having its name vileged person, said to him, as he passed him in Piccadilly
written down-Troyes by a tongue-Lyons by a sausage one day, "Srom fredevi, de Society of de Institution shall
-the Vosages by a sheep-Rouen by a calf-Mans by a not be complet till dere is one chair of Cookery." That
capon-Pithiviers by larks-Alençon by a goose-Dieppe his ideas of the importance of his art may be clearly un-
by an oyster-Bordeaux by a bottle-Burgundy by a cask, derstood, we quote a few sentences from his preface; by
&c. To be sure, Ude's maps looked more like a piece of which it will be seen that cooks are made of the finest
a celestial globe than any thing else, and at first we mis- clay, and that the refuse is left to mould kings, patriots,
took the soles of Marennes for the sign of the Fishes-the philosophers, legislators, and poets.
casks of wine for Aquarius-the crawfish of Strasbourg
for the Scorpion the oxen of Limoges for the great and
lesser Bear, &c. but we soon discovered our error, and the
ingenuity of Mr. Ude. We perceive that the map in
question has been recently and very properly prefixed to
the Cours Gastronomique and the Nouvel Almanach des
Gourmands. When Mr. Ude, after quitting college,
made an occasional excursion, he always connected cookery
with the history and biography of the place; a part of one
of his journals we here subjoin":

"Domremy, famous for Kirschwasser and Joan of Arc: Aï, Champagne and the historian Velly-gingerbread and the Abbé Pluche: Pithiviers, patties of larks and Sully: Bourges, bad wine and Bourdaloue the preacher: Sancerre, grapes and a siege it stood against Charles IX.: Limoges, for oxen and the Chancellor D'Aguesseau: Tours, peaches and Descartes: Chartres, pâtés and the poet Panard: Rouen, cheese and Corneille: La Flèche, Jesuits' College and capons: Cancale, oysters and Charles XII.: Médoc, Médoc and Montesquieu: Bayonne, hams and Henry IV.: Narbonne, honey and Charles Martel: Montpellier, muscat and medical school: Puy, chesnuts and Cardinal Polignac: Vaucluse, Petrarch and prunes: Calais, butter and the Abbé Prévost: Strasburg, cathedral and carp: Montmorenci, cherries and J. J. Rous

sau," &c.

46

This way of taking notes shows the ruling passion to have been strong in Ude. About the year 1782, Ude was appointed cook to Louis XVI. and continued in that honourable situation up to the close of that monarch's political existence. When Louis XVI. proposed to remove the Assembly to Metz, he mentioned his intention at table: "Ah, mon bon roi," said Ude, who was in waiting, alors nous aurons de bonnes mirabelles. Il est impossible d'en trouver ici." Long before Necker's fall, Ude prophesied of him that he must be disgraced. "Monsieur," said he, one day, to the writer of this article," Necker fut un homme qui ne savait pas juger d'une matelot. Comment voulez-vous qu'il s'entendit en matières de finance?" The logic was conclusive. It has been said, that on the fatal 20th of June, the last Swiss died for the Queen.

This is not exactly true. The mob rushed into the palace, and, having murdered the last of the Cent Suisses, was proceeding to Marie Antoinette's chamber, Ude placed himself in the breach, with a spit in one hand and a dripping pan as a shield in the other. These would have been but poor weapons of defence or attack against the infuriated crowd, had not one of the sans-culottes recognised Wde as the individual who had, for a fortnight, benevo

The Bouquet.

"I have here only made a nosegay of culled flowers, and ha brought nothing of my own but the thread that ties them MONTAIGNE

SIR WALTER SCOTT'S NAPOLEON.

Further Extracts.

NAPOLEON'S DIVORCE FROM JOSEPHINE. Besides her considerable talents, and her real bene cence of disposition, Josephine was possessed of other over the mind of her husband. The mutual passion wh had subsisted between them for many years, if its warmt had subsided, seems to have left behind affectionate t membrances and mutual esteem. The grace and dignit with which Josephine played her part in the Imperi pageant, was calculated to gratify the pride of Napole which might have been shocked at seeing the character Empress discharged with less ease and adroitness; for he temper and manners enabled her, as one early accustomed to the society of persons of political influence, to condu herself with singular dexterity in the intrigues of splendid and busy court, where she filled so important character. Lastly, it is certain that Buonaparte, like many of those that affect to despise superstition, a reserve of it in his own bosom, believed that his forta were indissolubly connected with those of Josephine; loving her as she deserved to be loved, he held his with her the more intimate, that there was attached he thought, a spell affecting his own destinies, which ever seemed most predominant when they had received t recent influence of Josephine's presence.

Notwithstanding all these mutual ties, it was eviden the politicians of the Tuilleries, that whatever attachm and veneration Napoleon might profess and feel for Empress, it was likely, in the long run, to give way to eager desire of a lineal succession, to which he might queath his splendid inheritance. As age advanced, year weakened, though in an imperceptible degree, influence of the Empress, and must have rendered eager the desire of her husband to form a new allian while he was yet at a period of life enabling him teh he might live to train to maturity the expected heit

"The author trusts that he will not be accused of vanity, in seeking to enforce good precepts, as will as by giving good examples. Cookery is an art which requires much time, intelligence, and activity, to be acquired in Fouche, the Minister of Police, the boldest polici its perfection. Every man is not born with the qualifi- intriguer of his time, discovered speedily to what panti cations necessary to constitute a good cook. The difficulty Emperor must ultimately arrive, and seems to have of attaining to perfection in the art, will be best demon-ditated the insuring his own power and continuance strated by offering a few observations on some others. favour, by taking the initiative in a measure, in wh Music, dancing, fencing, painting, and mechanics in perhaps, Napoleon might be ashamed to break the ic general, possess professors under twenty years of age, person. Sounding artfully his master's disposition, Fou whereas, in the first line of cooking, pre-eminence never was able to discover that the Emperor was struggling occurs under thirty. We see daily at concerts, and aca- twixt the supposed political advantages to be derived i demies, young men and women who display the greatest a new matrimonial union on the one hand, and, on abilities; but in our line, nothing but the most consummate other, love for his present consort, habits of society w experience can elevate a man to the rank of chief profes- particularly attached him to Josephine, and the specie sor. It must be admitted, that there are few good cooks, superstition which we have already noticed. Having though there are many who advance themselves as such. able to conjecture the state of the Emperor's inclinate This disproportion of talent among them is the cause of the crafty councillor determined to make Josephine the little respect in which they are held; if they were all self the medium of suggesting to Buonaparte the mea provided with the necessary qualities, they would cer- of her own divorce, and his second marriage, as a sacr tainly be considered as artists. necessary to consolidate the empire, and complete the piness of the Emperor.

"What science demands more study than cookery?
You have not only, as in other arts, to satisfy the general
eye, but also the individual taste of the persons who em-
ploy you; you have to attend to economy, which every
one demands; to suit the taste of different persons at the
same table; to surmount the difficulty of procuring things
which are necessary to your work; to undergo the want of
unanimity among the servants of the house; and the mor-
tification of seeing unlimited confidence sometimes reposed
in persons who are unqualified to give orders in the kitchen,
without assuming a consequence, and giving themselves
airs which are almost out of reason, and which frequently
discourage the cook." p. xxv-vi.

What will Joseph Hume say to the following?
"Cooks in this country have not the opportunity of in-
structing their pupils that we have in France, except at
the Royal Palace, where every thing is, and must be,
done in perfection, as neither hands nor expense are ob-
jects of consideration." p. xxix.

It may seem impertinent in poor devils of authors to
speak of dinners-but we agree in the following remarks
only premising, that in our opinion, if the dinner is
good, the results are of little consequence to the diner-out.
Why should we not be proud of our knowledge in
cookery? It is the soul of festivity at all times, and to all
ages. How many marriages have been the consequence
of meeting at dinner? How much good fortune has been
the result of a good supper?”

a

One evening, at Fontainbleau, as the Empress wa turning from mass, Fouche detained her in the embra of a window in the gallery, while, with an audacity al incomprehensible, he explained, with all the allevis qualifications his ingenuity could suggest, the necessi sacrifice, which he represented as equally sublime inevitable. The tears gathered in Josephine's eyes colour came and went her lips swelled-and the which the councillor had to fear, was his advice ha brought on a severe nervous affection. She comma her emotions, however, sufficiently to ask Fouche, faltering voice, whether he had any commission to such language to her. He replied in the negative, said that he had only ventured on such an insinu from his having predicted with certainty what must sarily come to pass, and from his desire to turn her tion to what so nearly concerned her glory and her piness.

In consequence of this interview, an impassioned interesting scene is said to have taken place betwixt naparte and his consort, in which he naturally and disavowed the communication of Fouche, and atten by every means in his power to dispel her apprehens But he refused to dismiss Fouche, when she dema it as the punishment due to that minister's audaci tampering with her feelings; and this refusal alone have convinced Josephine, that though ancient hal

the meaning of which was already guessed by all who
belonged to the court, were soon no riddle to the public
in general.
Two days afterwards, Napoleon made Josephine ac-
quainted with the cruel certainty, that the separation was
ultimately determined upon. But not the many months
which had passed since the subject was first touched upon
by Fouche-not the conviction which she must have long
since received from various quarters, that the measure was
unalterably resolved upon, could strengthen her to hear
the tongue of her beloved husband announce, what was in
fact, though not in name, a sentence of repudiation. She
fell into a long and profound swoon. Napoleon was much
affected, but his resolution was taken, and could not be
altered. The preparations for the separation went on
without delay.

66

66

fection might for a time maintain its influence in the nately for Apicius was it, that nature had so ordained it; iptial chamber, it must at length give way before the for had her twin and counterpart appeared, Apicius, like ggestions of political interest, which were sure to preMahomet's coffin, would have hung suspended, and pined minate in the cabinet. In fact, when the idea had once to death betwixt the equal attraction. Having proceeded en started, the chief objection was removed, and Buoabout half way in the echoing labyrinth of his monocular parte, being spared the pain of directly communicating sonnet, Apicius, who was "resting in peace," but "to e unkind and ungrateful proposal to Josephine, had rise again," upon a tombstone, rested his left hand and w only to afford her time to familiarize herself with the his scrap-book upon his thigh, and stuck his pencil penea of a divorce, as that which political combinations sively against the side of his nose, while his memory ndered inevitable. crawled leisurely over a lexicon of tuneful words for a The communication of Fouche was made before Narhyme. Nothing apposite, however, could Von Rippel: deca undertook his operations in Spain; and by the catch; and he began to read aloud what he had already ne of the meeting at Erfurt, the divorce seems to have indited, hoping to run into another line by the genial in a matter determined, since the subject of a match course of inspiration; but it would not do-he stopped wixt Buonaparte and one of the archduchesses, the short at the conclusion of his own lines, as if they were sibility of which had been anticipated as far back as the lines of an enemy. The sound of his monotonous treaty of Tilsit, was resumed, seriously treated of, and On the 15th December, just ten days after the official mouthing had scarcely died upon the breeze, when, in a lot received with cordiality by the Imperial family of communication of her fate had been given to the Empress, distinct and pompous voice, he heard the sonnet continued sis, was equally far from being finally rejected. The Napoleon and Josephine appeared in presence of the Arch and concluded! As the invisible's words fell from his ning Empress and the Empress Mother were, how-Chancellor, the family of Napoleon, the principal officers lips, Rippel's fell from his hand-but not one, even of opposed to it. The ostensible motive was, as we of state, in a word, the full Imperial Council. In this as-wonderment, from his tongue. He dared not stir-his feet e elsewhere said, the difference of religion; but these sembly Napoleon stated the deep national interest which had no more expression in them than his rhymes. The h-minded princesses rejected the alliance chiefly on ac- required that he should have successors of his own body, moon's rays were beaming brightly before him, and his nt of the personal character of the suitor. And although the heirs of his love for his people, to occupy the throne elongated shadow reposed motionless (like a black attendmust have been managed with the greatest secrecy ima- on which Providence had placed him. He informed ant) behind him. He remained fearfully silent; so still that, able, it seems probable that the idea of substituting them, that he had for several years renounced the hope of comparatively, in the imperfect light, the monumental Archduchess of Austria for her whose hand was refused having children by his well-beloved Empress Josephine, stones and their shadows appeared to be animated. His neck was started in the course of the treaty of Schoenbrun, and that therefore he had resolved to subject the feelings was as stiff as a crocodile's, or a rusty hinge. At last a sigh had its effects in providing lenient terms for the of his heart to the good of the state, and to desire the di- oozed from his lips, and was answered by a laugh-it was a ker party. Napoleon himself says, that he renounced solution of their marriage. He was, he said, but forty rich, merry laugh, and full of encouragement. Apicius was purpose of dismembering Austria when his marriage years old, and might well hope to live to train up such soon mounted on the observatory on his own legs; and fixed upon. But the conditions of peace were signed children as Providence might send him, in his own senti- throwing his eyes about him, they chanced to light upon the 14th of October, and therefore the motive which ments and arts of government. Again he dwelt on the the diminutive figure of a man, supported by two legs and denced Napoleon in granting them must have had truth and tenderness of his beloved spouse, his partner a crutch-stick. How are ye, my man ?" quoth the stence previous to that period. during fifteen years of happy union. Crowned as she had dwarf, with such a patronising, consequential air, that it been by his own hand, he desired she should retain the was impossible to refrain from laughter. • Well said, rank of Empress during her life. little one!" exclaimed the poet, indulging in a mirthful Josephine arose, and with a faltering voice, and eyes fit, and stooping down to take a nearer view of the dwarf. suffused with tears, expressed in a few words sentiments "Ay, laugh on-laugh on!-it's only tit for tat, for I similar to those of her husband. The Imperial pair then laughed at your sighs," cried the dwarf, and now you demanded from the Arch-Chancellor a written instrument laugh at mine!" By Dian! who now smiles so sweetly in evidence of their mutual desire of separation; and it upon us! exclaimed the chuckling poet, "thou art a was granted accordingly, in all due form, with the autho- comical little prig! Short as an epigram, and rounded like one of my own periods !" A-hem!" "What art The senate were next assembled; and on the 16th thou a-hemming at, eh, my sprig o' myrtle?"" At thy December pronounced a consultum, or decree, authorizing vanity, Meinheer Cedar!" replied the dwarf; "but I tell the separation of the Emperor and Empress, and assuring thee what now," carelessly throwing his right leg across to Josephine a dowry of two millions of francs, and the his left in attitude, and resting on his crutch-stick, "I rank of Empress during her life. Addresses were voted tell thee what, (though I have not the right use of my to both the Imperial parties, in which all possible changes left leg) I'll run with thee for a wager." "Done!" cried were rung on the duty of subjecting our dearest affections Apicius, stretching out his leg, and measuring it with a to the public good; and the conduct of Buonaparte in ex-glance of confidence; but what's the wager?" "He changing his old consort for a young one, was proclaimed who is beaten at running shall stand a supper." a sacrifice, for which the eternal love of the French people to that: but where shall we display?" The high road, could alone console his heart. methinks, will suit thee best," replied the dwarf, eyeing the lengthy Apicius with a smile. Come along, then, cried the poet-Oh! I can run like a rivulet!" "And I like a seedling-cabbage," said the dwarf," or the dark ivy which can run over the tallest trees. Now, if I outrun thee, thou wilt run out of thy wits." I have more fleetness than fear," replied Apicius; and by this time Apicius Von Rippel was one of those lath-like men having reached the high road, they stood-the signal was whom one may chance to encounter on an April day, given-Apicius bounded forward like a lank greyhound, walking leisurely and unwashed betwixt the drops of a while his little competitor hopped and jumped, and smart shower; long drawn as a lover's sigh; and slen- jumped and hopped, like a hunted rat, beside him. Apideras his own income. Though he had certainly been cius was wonderstruck at his swiftness and agility, and a long resident on this locomotive world of ours, he had puffed like a forge bellows, while the dwarf laughed and amassed but little, and barely lived, as his habiliments joked in perfect good humour all the way, propelling his evidently demonstrated; yet Apicius Von Rippel never diminutive body with, apparently, very little exertion; complained, and if he did at first groan a little, he had and finally won the race by several yards. "Vanquished!", grown so much lately, that he appeared to have risen su cried Apicius" a well-won match!-a noble feat!" perior to the petty cares and misfortunes of a world-the "That hath proved my feet superior to thy long legs! which, like a true philosopher, he only regarded as a mere But now for the supper, for running hath given me an ball at his feet, which (when he had given his last kick) appetite." The supper-the supper!" exclaimed the would continue to roll on to the end of time! Von Rip- poet, rather staggered by this just demand. Now, by pel was neither a filthy swineherd nor a mean mechanic, Artemisia's ivory brow, I have not a penning in my poke!" but an author-a man who lived upon his own brains, by "What!" cried the ruffled dwarf, assuming a big look, which his spare habit proved that he gained nothing to "dost thou intend to defraud me of my due? 'Sdeath! spare, and little to spend. Whether this arose from Tack Sirrah, I am no plaything for thy wit to trifle with."of wit in Apicius, or in others, never was resolved. ButCome, come, be cool, my little fire-ball!" replied Apicius, scarce able to refrain from laughter at the piggenius! my's terrible looks and menaces: " as far as cheese-rinds and a mouldy crust may serve, thou art welcome to partake of my fare; and if, in lieu of hock thou canst relish the pure element, follow me." "Follow thee--never, thou swindling varlet"-and springing at him in a pa roxysm of rage, the dwarf struck Apicius such a temendous blow on his unfortunate sconce, that the pain awoke him, and the love-sick poet found he had been lying, all along, asleep upon a monumental slab, against which, in the excitement of his dream, he had bumped his pate!

fet the contrary is boldly asserted. The idea of the ch is said to have been suggested by the Austrian go mnment at a later period, upon understanding that diffiIties had occurred in Napoleon's negotiation for a mamonial alliance in the family of Alexander. Fouche gribes the whole to the address of his own agent, the opte de Narbonne, a Frenchman of the old school, ty, pliant, gay, well-mannered, and insinuating, who ambassador at Vienna in the month of January, 1810.rity of the Council. But whether the successor of Josephine were or were already determined upon, the measures for separating amiable and interesting woman from him whose foryes she had assisted to raise, and to whose person she so much attached, were in full and public operation after her husband's return from the campaign of gram. Upon the 3d of December, Buonaparte atded the solemn service of Te Deum for his victories. was clad with unusual magnificence, wearing the mish costume, and displaying in his hat an enormous me of feathers. The Kings of Saxony and Wirtemg, who attended as his satellites on this occasion, were ted beside him in fall uniform, and remained un1ered during the ceremony.

From the cathedral Napoleon passed to the opening the Legislative Body, and boasted, in the oration he dressed to them, of the victories which he had achieved, the trophies which he had acquired; nay, he vaunted his having re-united Tuscany to the empire, as if the ling the inoffensive and unresisting widow and orphan ld ever be a legitimate subject of triumph. From the sting affairs of Spain, no direct reason for gratulation ld be derived; but when Napoleon could no longer m praise from things as they presently stood, he was use in his promises of a rapid change to the better, spoke as a prophet when he ceased to be the reporter

agreeable facts.

THE DWARF.

(From "Absurdities in Prose and Verse.).

When 1, he said, show myself on the other side the Pyrenees, the terrified Leopold shall plunge into ocean to avoid shame, defeat, and destruction. The umph of my arms shall be that of the Genius of Good the Genius of Evil; of moderation, order, and morals, er civil war, anarchy, and the malevolent passions." With such fair colouring will ambition and injustice atg to screen their purposes. A poetical reply from Monsieur des Fontanes assured the Emperor, that whater was connected with him must arise to grandeur; what-theadbare poverty is, alas! too often the companion of er was connected with any other influence was threat. med with a speedy fall. It was, therefore, necessary,' One night Apicius was busied in the composition of a le continued, to submit to your ascendancy, whose coun- sonnet to his mistress's eye-for, like the Alphabet, the sare at once recommended by heroism and by policy. lovely Artemisia possessed but one-heing in this respect To this speech Buonaparte made a rejoinder, in which, singularly beautiful; as likewise in the situation of her ing the well-worn themes of his own praises, he head, which, like her heart, was all on one side! But led to the obstacles which he had surmounted, and then, to make amends for these personal peculiarities, she luded, I and my family will always know how to had a wit as sharp as a razor, and a temper far surpassing fice our most tender affections to the interests and it. There was not such another virgin on the world's surwelfare of the great nation. These concluding words, face-Artemisia was a phoenix of her kind; and fortu

"Done

Floating Bath into the river, with the collar jacke dresses, and their hats on. They had a very pleasant er cursion; and as there was still a considerable swell in th river, we were told by a gentleman who was on d that it was an extraordinary and novel sight from shore to see the heads and hats moving up and down vi the waves.

chance throws in their way. Now, had an Irish gentle-On the Saturday evening, four gentlemen went from the man been on board, and taken out his snuff-box, every lady's nose in the packet might have been regaled, and every gentleman's too, by his good will, for the more you lightened his box, the more you would lighten his heart. SIR,-The following arithmetical question appeared But these gentlemen were determined neither to have their some time since in an American paper. Wishing to ob-heads nor their boxes lightened by sharing either brains tain a solution, I shall feel obliged to you for the inser- or snuff with their fellow-passengers. Oh, John Bull, tion of it either in the Mercury or the Kaleidoscope. John Bull, thou art certainly, at times, a most unsociable, dull animal: if it were not for some few spirits which memory recalls, who were, and are, the life and soul of every party, I should mos assuredly write thee Jack Ass; but for the sake of one spirit, thou shalt still be John Bull.

SIR,-As a stranger in your town, it has been my wish to see all and every thing, not only the lions of Liverpool, but a little of its character. This feeling induced me the other evening to pay a shilling, where sixpence would have done, merely that I might have an opportunity and the honour of being in genteel company, and hearing genteel conversation. Now, Mr. Editor, imagine me seated in a packet, (best end, mind you,) in the midst of twenty ladies and gentlemen, with a firm determination, for once in my life, to lend my ears and hold my tongue, a thing my lord would have pronounced totally impossible. But what's impossible when woman wills it? Had he but seen his rib sit with the gravity of an owl, one hand resting passively on the other, and with mouth closed as if she could not open it, he would have been struck dumb with amazement. Mum seemed to be the order of the evening; ten minutes or more passed without a single observation being ventured; at last, with evident exertion, one remarked that the days cut very fast:" this produced from another kindred spirit "we have had a good deal of wet since the rain came." From this sample I began to feel that I had spent my shilling foolishly, and that John Bull, at the sixpenny end, would, in all probability, have been much more entertaining. So far were the gentlemen from thinking that they were called upon to pay attention to the ladies, or find conversation for them, that they (I speak truth) absolutely took news papers, or any papers they had, to kill time, though in the company of so many ladies, and some of them young too. I sat and sat, still holding my tongue and thinking of my poor shilling, till my patience and my dumb fit fairly gave way. I accosted my left hand neighbour (who, by the bye, had more the look of a gentleman than the other passengers) just as a gentleman should accost a lady, "Will the air be too cool for you, (speaking as prettily as my tongue would let me,) if I open the window a little?"-"Not at all," was the reply. "Brevity is the soul of wit;" is it the soul of politeness, think you? After this you may be sure that I once more became dumb, much against my inclination. What conversation passed was carried on in whispers, which raised my curiosity, and determined me to listen, hoping to hear something worth a shilling, and what would be a credit to genteel society. I listened with all my ears, but nothing reached them but black colts and bay colts, and horses with long heads, which were not approved of. From the little I did hear, it was evident the gentlemen were on the race-ground instead of the packet. At one time I thought we should have a change of scene and manners, by two gentlemen taking out their snuff-boxes; but they were merely taken out to gratify their own noses, which, ever and anon, they gave a pinch, and then pocketed the box, without suffering any other nose to have a taste. I began to think, Sir, that well dressed (I shall not say well bred) folk can do what they like, and as they like, independent of the feelings and opinions of all old-fashioned humdrums that

Our correspondent may, perhaps, now be aware of the cause which prevented the public experiment, as it has been announced in one of the Saturday's newspapers, and by bills on the wall. It was simply this: the gentlemen who meant to use the collar jackets had left them and their swimming dresses, the previous evening, at the Floating Bath, having been in the river with them. On the forenoon of the Friday they proceeded to the parade-slip with the intention of repairing to the Bath to get their clothes and jackets; and had ordered a boatman to come to the Bath to row them to the north point of the Prince's Dock-from which they intended to set out. To their great mortification, however, it was found absolutely impossible to reach the Bath; and, after a vain attempt, in which the boat was in the most imminent danger of being swamped, the boatmen were obliged to put back; and if any person will take the trouble to inquire from the men he will learn that they were obliged to lay up the boats from eleven until one o'clock, not being able to reach the Bath.

In the evening, whilst there was still a great swell, three of the party entered the river from the Floating Bath, and remained in about twenty minutes, and drifted up to the St. George steam-boat. Captain Stewart very politely offered one of them a segar, which he accepted and smoked, having first taken off his hat, in acknowledgment of the civility.

The following notice was put up on the walls, on Friday afternoon :

"In consequence of the treme roughness of the river Friday last, about eleven o'c the Gentlemen who pro going into the river with the rine Life Preservers, were oblig to abandon their design, as they could not get on board the Fi ing Bath, where the jackets and swimming dresses we kept the boat having made the v obliged to put back. The experiments will, therefore, be made, if the weather be suitable, on Tuesday afterno about two o'clock; or on Wednesday afternoon, at the of the Prince's Dock, in the direction of the Floating B o'clock, when the party will proceed from the north p

Seasonable Indulgence.--In an advertisement f young gentleman who left his parents, it was stated, th if Master Jacky will return to his disconsolate par he shall no more be put upon by his sister, and allowed to sweeten his own tea!"-American paper.

To Correspondents.

MONODY ON MR. CANNING. We decline the verses e

A Tribute to Genius. We seldom meet with elegla
which we can read through with patience. Mr. C
lamented death will be commemorated by all grad
poets, and we venture to predict that bathos will be
prevailing feature. We moreover think it is well f
illustrious dead that they are unconscious of the
impertinence to which their demise generally pr
if it were otherwise, they would be somerlat in the
situation imagined by one of our celebrated wits, wh
hearing Sternhold and Hopkins' psalms sung in
ble manner by a certain parish clerk, wrote the f
epigram:

Sternhold and Hopkins had great qualms
When they translated David's psalms,
To make the heart full glad;
But had it been poor David's fate

To hear them sung, and then translate,-
It would have made him mad!

MR. CANNING. In our next publication we shall give
moir of the late Premier, selected from the most authe
and honest sources. We shall, in the interim, make
point to read all the journals of talent and reputation:
we shall, in our memoir, exclude, as much as poss
party politics, from which we are pledged to abstain.
LIVERPOOL LIGHTHOUSE.-We are preparing an engraving
the Liverpool Lighthouse, comprehending the int
and the ground plan. We shall endeavour to have t
against our next.

THE PLAGUE OF MANCHESTER. We shall next week p another gratuitous supplement, in order, without tou upon the fair rights of our readers, to enable us to re lish, from our last volume, the two first chapters of o Plague of Manchester, the whole of which it is desirable have comprised in the present volume. We state thi the hope that it will stimulate the author to proceed for

REMOVAL OF OUR OFFICE. At length we have fairly qu
Lord-street, and removed our stock to No. 3, Clarend
buildings, Marshall-street, where we are still in such
order that any little irregularity, which may be insepara
from such a cause, will, we trust, be overlooked.
"MY EYE AND BETTY MARTIN."—A correspondent may les
the origin of this slang phrase from the 4th volume of
Liverpool Mercury, page 206, published December 23, 181
We will copy the paragraph in the next Kaleidoscope.
Printed, published, and sold, EVERY TUESDAY, by
E. SMITH & Co. 75, Lord-street, Liverpool.

Literary and Scientific Mirror.

his familiar Miscellany, from which all religious and political matters are excluded, contains a variety of original and selected Articles; comprehending LITERATURE, CRITICISM, MEN and MANNERS, AMUSEMENT, elegant EXTRACTS, POETRY, ANECDOTES, BIOGRAPHY, METEOROLOGY, the DRAMA, ARTS and SCIENCES, WIT and SATIRE, FASHIONS, NATURAL HISTORY, &c. forming a handsome ANNUAL VOLUME, with an INDEX and TITLE-PAGE. Persons in any part of the Kingdom may obtain this Work from London through their respective Booksellers.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21, 1827.

Many men, however, of talent and judgment have approved and recommended this proposed method of propulsion, and amongst them is a staff officer who was selected by the Emperor of Russia to examine and report upon all inland communications, &c. of Great Britain. The report of this officer, which is of considerable length, appeared in the last number R. VALLANCE'S NEW MODE OF PROPULSION BY THE of the Register of Arts and Sciences.—We shall give this able report entire, as it contains a very good analysis of Mr. Vallance's project, by a competent and scientific judge.

The first thing is, the velocity at which the cause of motion, in this method of transmission, viz. the air, would move us, provided we could construct wheel carriages to go so fast. This velocity would, if raised to its maximum, be between 900 and 1000 miles an hour. But as saving