Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Fab. More matter for a May-morning.

There's something in me, that reproves my fault,
But such a headstrong potent fault it is,

Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; I That it but mocks reproof.
warrant, there's vinegar and pepper in't.
Fab. Is't so saucy?

Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: do but

read.

Sir To. Give me. [Reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.

Fub. Good, and valiant.

Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.

Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law.

Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for.

Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense

less.

Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,

Fab. Good.

Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.

Fab. Still you keep o'the the windy side of the law: Good.

Sir To. Fare thee well. And God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him.

sworn enemy.

Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.

Sir To. Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swear horrible; or it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away.

Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passion bears,

Go on my master's griefs.

Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my
picture;

Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you:
And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow.
What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny ;
That honour, sav'd, may upon asking give?
Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my

Re-enter Sir TOBY BELCH, and FABIAN.
Sir To. Gentleman, God save thee.
Vio. And You, Sir.

Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck,* be yaret in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly.

Vio. You mistake, Sir; I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.

Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you : therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath can furnish man withal.

Vio. I pray you, Sir, what is he?

Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre : hob, nob, is his word; give't, or take't.

Vio. I will return again into the house, and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valour: belike this is a man of that quirk.‡

Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Exit. Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: For the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between his lord and my niece confirms no less; therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself the youth, he will find it comes from a clod-out of a very competent injury; therefore, get pole. But, Sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman, (as, I know, his youth will aptly receive it,) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices.

you on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me, which with as much safety you might answer him: therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you.

Vio. This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my

Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!
Sir To. Come hither knight; come hither,
Fabian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of
most sage saws.

Vio. Henam'd Sebastian; I my brother know
Yet living in my glass;* even such, and so,
In favour was my brother; and he went
Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,
For him I imitate: O, if it prove,
Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in
love!

[Exit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears, in leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian.

Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it.

Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat

him.

ACT IV.

SCENEI.-The Street before OLIVIA's House.

Enter SEBASTIAN and CLOWN.

Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent for you?

Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee.

Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.-Nothing, that is so, is so.

Seb. I pr'ythee, ventt thy folly somewhere Thou know'st not me.

[else; Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady; Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming?

Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from

me;

There's money for thee; if you tarry longer,
I shall give worse payment.

Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand :These wise men, that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase.

Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir TOBY, and FABIAN.
Sir And. Now, Sir; have I met you again?
there's for you.
Striking SEBASTIAN.
Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and
there :

Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir ANDREW.
Sir To. Hold, Sir, or I'll throw your dagger
o'er the house.

Clo. This will I tell my lady straight; I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence. [Exit CLOWN.

Sir To. Come on, Sir; hold.

[Holding SEBASTIAN. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Il.

*In the reflection of my own figure. VOL. I.

F

† Let out.

lyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that.

Seb. Let go thy hand.

Sir To. Come, Sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on.

Seb. I will be free from thee. What would'st
thou now?

If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword.
[Draws.
Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have
an ounce or two of this malapert blood from
you.
[Draws.
Enter OLIVIA.

Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee,
hold.

Sir To. Madam?

Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my

sight!

Be not offended, dear Cesario :-
Rudesby,* be gone!-I pr'ythee, gentle friend,
[Exeunt Sir TOBY, Sir ANDREW, and FABIAN.
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
In this uncivil and unjust extentt
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house;
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby
May'st smile at this: thou shalt not choose but
go;

Do not deny: Beshrew his soul for me,
He started one poor heart of mine in thee.

Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the

SCENE II-A Room in OLIVIA's House.
Enter MARIA and CLOWN.

this beard; make him believe, thou art Sir
Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and
Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call Sir
Toby the whilst.
[Exit MARIA.

ble myself in't; and I would I were the first
Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissem-
that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am
not fat enough to become the function well;
nor lean enough to be thought a good student:
housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful
but to be said, an honest man and a good
man, and a great scholar. The competitors

enter.

Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA.
Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson.

Clo. Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, master parson; For what is that, but that? and is, but is?

Sir To. To him, Sir Topas.

Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.

Mal. [In an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit. Malvolio the lunatic.

Enter OLIVIA and a PRIEST.

Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you
mean well,

Now go with me, and with this holy man,
Into the chantry* by: there, before him,
And underneath that consecrated roof,
Plight me the full assurance of your faith;
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul
May live at peace: He shall conceal it,
Whilest you are willing it shall come to note;
What time we will our celebration keep
According to my birth.-What do you say?
Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with

Fab. Any thing.

Clo. Do not desire to see this letter.

Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, desire my dog again.

Enter DUKE, VIOLA, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends? Clo, Ay, Sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my good fellow?

Clo. Truly, Sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for my friends.

Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends.

Clo. No, Sir, the worse.
Duke. How can that be?

Clo. Marry, Sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes, Sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes.

Duke. Why, this is excellent. Clo. By my troth, Sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends.

Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold.

Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, Sir, I would you could make it another.

Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.

Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, Sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer; there's another.

Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play: and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, Sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, Sir, may put you in mind; One, two, three.

Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty

further.

I come again. I go, Sir; but I would not have
you to think, that my desire of having is the
sin of covetousness: but, as you say, Sir, let
your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon,
[Exit. CLOWN.

Enter ANTONIO and OFFICERS.
Vio. Here comes the man, Sir, that did rescue

me.

Duke. That face of his I do remember well;
Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd
As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war:
For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable;
A bawbling vessel was he captain of,
With which such scathful* grapple did he make
With the most noble bottom of our fleet,
That very envy, and the tongue of loss,
Cried fame and honour on him.-What's the
matter?

i Off. Orsino, this is that Antonio,
That took the Phoenix, and her fraught,† from
Candy;

And this is he, that did the Tiger board,
Here in the streets, desperate of shame, and
When your young nephew Titus lost his leg :

state,

In private brabble did we apprehend him.

Vio. He did me kindness, Sir; drew on my

side;

I know not what 'twas, but distraction.
But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon me,

Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief!
What foolish boldness brought thee to their
Whom thou in terms so bloody, and so dear,
mercies,
Hast made thine enemies?

Ant. Orsino, noble Sir,

Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you
Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate,
give me ;

Though, I confess, on base and ground enough,
Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither:
From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth
That most ungrateful boy there, by your side,
Did I redeem; a wreck past hope he was:
His life I gave him, and did thereto add
My love, without retention, or restraint
All his in dedication: for his sake,
Did I expose myself, pure for his love,
Into the danger of this adverse town;
Drew to defend him, when he was beset ;
(Not meaning to partake with me in danger,)
Where being apprehended, his false cunning,
And grew a twenty-years-removed thing,
Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance,
While one would wink; denied me mine own
purse,

Which I had recommended to his use
Not half an hour before.

Vio. How can this be?

Duke. When came he to this town?
Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months
before,

(No interim, not a minute's vacancy,)
Both day and night did we keep company.

Enter OLIVIA and Attendants.

Duke, Here comes the countess: now heaven walks on earth.

But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are
madness:

Three months this youth hath tended upon me ;
But more of that anon.- -Take him aside.
Oli. What would my lord, but that he may
not have,