ever the devil could have made you our de-Mrs. Page. Good George, be not angry: 1 light?

knew of your purpose ; turned my daughter Ford. What a hodge-pudding? a bag of fax? into green; and, indeed, she is now with the Mrs. Page. A puffed man?

doctor at the deanery, and there married. Page. Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable

Enter Caius. entrails?

Caius. Vere is mistress Page? By gar, I am Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan?

cozened; I ha' married un garcon, a boy; un Page. And as poor as Job? Ford. And as wicked as his wife?

paisan, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by

gar, I am cozened. Era. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins,

Mrs. Page. Why, did you take her in and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, / " Caius. Ay, be gar, and 'tis a boy: be gar.

green? pribbles and prabbles? Fal. Well, I am your theme: you have the

[Erit Cairs. I'll raise all Windsor.

1 Ford. This is strange: Who hath got the start of me; I am dejected; I am not able to right Anne? answer the Welsh flannel; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use me as you will.

| Page. My heart misgives me: Here comes Ford. Marry, Sir, we'll bring you to Wind-1"

master Fenton. sor, to one master Brook, that you have cozened

Enter Fenton and ANNE PAGE. of money, to whom you should have been a How now, master Fenton ? pander: over and above that you have suffered, Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother, I think to repay that money will be a biting

pardon ! affiction.

Page. Now, mistress ? how chance you went Mrs. Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to not with master Slender? make amends :

| Mrs. Page. Why went you not with master Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends.

doctor, maid? Ford. Well, here's my hand; all's forgiven Fent. You do amaze* her: Hear the truth at last.

of it. Page. Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat You would have married her most shamefully, a posset to-night at my house; where I will Where there was no proportion held in love. desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs The truth is, She and I, long since contracted, at thee: Tell her, master Slender hath married Are now so sure, that nothing can dissolve us. her daughter.

The offence is holy, that she hath committed: Mrs. Page. Doctors doubt that: If Anne And this deceit loses the name of craft, Page be my daughter, she is, by this, doctor Of disobedience, or unduteous title; Caius' wife.

(Aside. Since therein she doth evitatet and shun * Enter SLENDER.

A thousand irreligious cursed hours, Slen. Whoo, ho! ho! father Page.

Which forced marriage would have brought Page. Son! how now? how now, son ? have

upon her. you despatched ?

Ford. Stand not amaz'd: here is no remeSlen. Despatched - I'll make the best in

dy: Gloucestershire know on't; would I were in love, the heavens themselves do guide the hanged, la, else.

state; Page. Of what, son ?

Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry mis-1 Fal. I am glad, though you have ta'en a tress Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly special stand to strike at me, that your arrow boy: If it had not been i' the church, I would hath glanced. have swinged him, or he should have swinged Page. Well, what remedy? Fenton, hearen me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page,

give thee joy! would I might never stir, and 'tis a post-mas- What cannot be eschewd must be embrac'd. ter's boy.

Fat. When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer Page. Upon my life then you took the wrong.

are chas'd. Slen. What need you tell me that? I think Era. I will dance and eat plums at your so, when I took a boy for a girl: If I had been wedding. married to him, for all he was in woman's ap- Mrs Page. Well, I will muse no further :parel, I would not have had him.

Master Fenton, Page. Why, this is your own folly : Did not Heaven give you many, many merry days ! I tell you, how you should know my daughter Good husband, let us every one go home, by her garments ?

And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire; Slen. I went to her in white, and cried mum, Sir John and all. and she cried budget, as Anne and I had ap- 1 Ford. Let it be so :-Sir John, pointed; and yet it was not Anne, but a post. To master Brook you yet shall hold your word: master's boy.

For he, to-night, shall lie with Mrs. Ford. Eva. Jeshu! Master Slender, cannot you see

(Eseuri. but marry boys ? Page. O, I am vexed at heart: What shall 1! *Confound her by your questions.


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But like a cloistress, she will veiled walk, '

And water once a day her chamber round SCENE 1.-An Apartment in the Duke's

With eye-offending brine : all this, to season Palace.

A brother's dead love, which she would keep Enter Duke, Curio, LORDS; Musicians And lasting, in her sad remembrance. [fresh, attending.

Duke. O, she, that hath a heart of that fine Drike. If music be the food of love, play on,

frame, Give me excess of it; that, surfeiting,

To pay this debt of love but to a brother, The appetite may sicken, and so die.

How will she love, when the rich golden shaft, That strain again ;—it had a dying fall : Hath kill'd the flock of all affections else O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet south, That live in her! when liver, brain, and heart, That breathes upon a bank of violets, These sovereign thrones, are all supplied, and Stealing, and giving odour.—Enough; no

fill'd, more;

(Her sweet perfections,) with one self king ! 'Tis not so sweet now, as it was before. Away before me to sweet beds of flowers ; O spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou! Love-thoughts lie rich, when canopied with That notwithstanding thy capacity


Ereunt. Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,

SCENE II.-The Sea Coast. Of what validity* and pitch soever,

Enter Viola, Captain, and Sailors. But falls into abatement and low price, Even in a minute! so full of shapes is fancy,

Vio. What country, friends, is this? "That it alone is high-fantastical.f

Cap. Illyria, lady. Cur. Will you go hunt, my lord ?

Vio. And what should I do in Illyria! Duke. What, Curio?

My brother he is in Elysium. Cur. The hart.

Perchance, he is not drown'd :-What think Duke. Why, so I do the noblest that I have:

you, sailors? 0, when mine eyes did see Olivia first,

Cap. It is perchance, that you yourself were Methought, she purg'd the air of pestilence;

saved. That instant was I turn'd into a hart;

Vio. O my poor brother ! and so, perchance, And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds,

may he be. C'er since pursue me.-How now? what news

Cap. True, madam: and, to comfort you with from her?


Assure yourself, after our ship did split,

When you, and that poor number saved with Val. So please my Lord, I might not be ad.

you, mitted,

Hung on our driving boat, I saw your brotker; But from her handmaid do return this answer: Most provident in peril, bind himself The element itself, till seven years heat, (Courage and hope both teaching him the Shall not behold her face at ample view;


To a strong mast, that lived upon the sea * Value. Fantastical to the height. ^ Heated. 'Where, like Arion on the dolphin's back,


I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves, you : I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and So long as I could see.

Tof a foolish knight, that you brought in one Vio. For saying so, there's gold:

night here, to be her wooer. Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope, Sir To. Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek? Whereto thy speech serves for authority, Mar. Ay, he. The like of him. Know'st thou this country? | Sir To. He's as tall* a man as any's in Illyria. Cap. Ay, Madam, well; for I was bred and Mar. What's that to the purpose ?

Sir To. Why, he has three thousand ducais Not three hours' travel from this very place. a year. Vio. Who governs here?

Mar. Aye, but he'll have but a year in all Cap. A noble duke, in nature,

these ducats; he's a very fool, and a prodigal. As in his name.

Sir To. Fye, that you'll say so! he plays of Vio. What is his name?

the viol-de-gambo, and speaks three or four Cap. Orsino.

languages word for word without book, and Vio. Orsino! I have heard my father name hath all the good gifts of nature. He was a bachelor then.

him : Mar. He hath, indeed,-almost natural : for, Cap. And so is now,

besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller; Or was so very late: but for a month

and, but that he hath the gift of a coward to Ago I went from hence; and then 'twas fresh allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought In murmur; (as, you know, what great ones do, among the prudent, he would quickly have the The less will prattle of,) that he did seek gift of a grave. The love of fair Olivia.

Sir To. By this hand they are scoundrels, Vio. What's she?

and substractors, that say so of him. Who are Cap. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a they? count

[ing her Mar. They that add moreover, he's drunk That died some twelvemonth since; then leav-nightly in your company. In the protection of his son, her brother,

Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece; Who shortly also died : for whose dear love, I'll drink to her, as long as there is a passage in They say, she hath abjur'd the company my throat, and drink in Illyria : He's a coward And sight of men.

and a coystril,t that will not drink to my niece, Vio. O, that I served that lady:

till his brains turn o' the toe like a parish-top. And might not be delivered to the world, What, wench? Castiliano vulgo; for here Till I had made mine own occasion mellow, comes Sir Andrew Ague-face. What my estate is.

Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Cap. That were hard to compass;

Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now. Sir Toby Because she will admit no kind of suit,

No, not the duke's.
Vio. There is a fair behaviour in thee, cap.

Sir To. Sweet Sir Andrew!

Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew. tain;

Mar. And you too, Sir. And though that nature with a beauteous wall

Sir To. Accost, Sir Andrew, accost. Doth oft close in pollution, yet of thee

Sir, And. What's that! I will believe, thou hast a mind that suits

Sir To. My niece's chambermaid. With this thy fair and outward character.

Sir And. Good mistress Accost, I desire betI pray thee, and I'll pay thee bounteously,

ter acquaintance. Conceal me what I am; and be my aid For such disguise as, haply, shall become

Mar. My name is Mary, Sir. The form of my intent. I'll serve this duke;

Sir And. Good mistress Mary Accost,

Sir To. You mistake, knight: accost, is, frcat 'Thou shalt present me as an eunuch to him,

her, board her, woo her, assail her. It may be worth thy pains; for I can sing, And speak to him in many sorts of music,

Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake That will allow* me very worth his service.

her in this company. Is that the meaning of What else may hap, to time I will commit;


1 Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen. Only shape thou thy silence to my wit. Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll

ul Sir To. An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, be:


'would you might'st never draw sword again. When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not,

Sir And. An you part so, mistress, I would Vio. I thank thee : Lead me on. [Excunt.

I might never draw sword again. Fair lady,

“ do you think you have fools in hand? SCENE III.-A Room in OLIVIA's House. Mar. Sir, I have not you by the hand.

Euter Sir Toby BELch, and Maria. | Sir And. Marry, but you shall have; and Sir To. What a plague means my niece, to here's my hand. take the death of her brother thus: I am sure,

Mar. Now, Sir, thought is free: I pray you, care's an enemy to life.

bring your hand to the buttery-bar, and let it Mar. By troth, Sir Toby, you must come in / drink. earlier o’nights; your cousin, my lady, takes

Sir And. Wherefore sweet heart? what's great exceptions to your ill hours.

your metaphor? Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted. Mar. It is dry, Sir.

Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself! Sir And. Why, I think so; I am not such an within the modest limits of order.

ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But what's Sir To. Confine? I'll confine myself no finer your jest? than I am : these clothes are good enough to Mar. A dry jest, Sir. drink in, and so be these boots too; an they Sir And. Are you full of them? be not, let them hang themselves in their own Mar. Ay, Sir; I have them at my fingers straps.

ends : marry, now I let go your hand, I am Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo barren.

(Exit MARIAN * Approve


† Keystril, a bastard hawa

Sir To. O knight, thou lack'st a cup of ca- wards you, Cesario, you are like to be much nary: When did I see thee so put down? advanced ; he hath known you but three days

Sir And. Never in your life, I think ; unless and already you are no stranger. you see canary put me down: Methinks, some- Vio. You either fear his humour, or my times I have no more wit than a Christian, or negligence, that you call in question the conan ordinary man has : but I am a great eater tinuance of his love: Is he inconstant, Sir, in of beef, and, I believe, that does harm to my his favours? wit.

Val. No, believe me. Sir To. No question.

Enter Duke, CURIO, and Aliendants. Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. |

Vio. I thank you. Here comes the count. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby.

Duke. Who saw Cesario, ho ? Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear knight?

Vio. On your attendance, my lord; here. Sir And. What is pourquoy? do or not do? Il

Duke. Stand you awhile aloof.-Cesario, would I had bestowed that time in the tongues, Thou know'st no less but all ; I have unclasp d that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-bait- To thee the book even of my

To thee the book even of my secret soul : ing: 0, had I but followed the arts !

Therefore, good youth, address thy gait* unto Sir To. Then badst thou had an excellent

her; head of hair.

Be not denied access, stand at her doors, Sir And. Why, would that have mended my And tell them, there thy fixed foot shall grow, hair?

Till thou have audience. Sir To. Past question ; for thou seest, it will Vio. Sure, my noble lord, not curl by nature.

| If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, As it is spoke, she never will admit me. does't not?

Duke. Be clamorous, and leap all civil Sir To. Excellent ; it hang's like flax on a

bounds, distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take Rather than make unprofited return. thee between her legs, and spin it off.

Vio. Say, I do speak with her, my lord ; Sir And. 'Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir

What then? Toby : your niece will not be seen ; or, if she Duke. O. then unfold the passion of my love. be, it's four to one she'll none of me: the count Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith : himself, here hard by, wooes her.

It shall become thee well to act my woes ; Sir To. She'll none o' the count; she'll not She will attend it better in thy youth, match above her degree, neither in estate, Than in a nuncio of more grave aspect. vears, nor wit; I have heard her swear it. | Vio. I think not so, my lord. Tut, there's life in't man.

Duke. Dear lad, believe it; Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a For they shall yet belie thy happy years fellow o' the strangest mind i' the world ; 1 That say, thou art a man : Diana's lip delight in masques and revels sometimes alto- Is not more smooth, and rubious ; thy small gether.

pipe Sir To. Art thou good at these kick-shaws, Is as the maiden's organ, shrill, and sound, knight?

| And all is semblative a woman's part. Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever I know, thy constellation is right apt he be, under the degree of my betters; and For this affair :-Some four, or five, attend him; yet I will not compare with an old man. All, if you will; for I myself am best,

Sir To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, When least in company :-Prosper well in this, * knight?

And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord, Sir And. 'Faith, I can cut a caper.

To call his fortunes thine. Sir To. And I can cut the mutton to't.

Vio. I'll do my best, Sir And. And, I think, I have the back-trick, To woo your lady: yet, Aside.) a barfult strife! simply as strong as any man in Illyria. Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife. Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid?

(Ereunt. wherefore have these gifts a curtain before! SCENE V.-A Room in OLIVIA's House. them are they like to take dust, like mistress

Enter Maria, and Clown. Mall's picture? why dost thou not go to church in a galliard, and come home in a coranto?

Mar. Nay, either tell me where thou hast My very walk should be a jig; I would not so

been, or I will not open my lips, so wide as a

* bristle may enter, in way of thy excuse: my much as make water, but in a sink-a-pace.* | What dost thou mean? is it a world to hide

lady will hang thee for thy absence. virtues in? I did think, by the excellent con

C'lo. Let her hang me: he, that is well hanged stitution of thy leg, it was formed under the

in this world, needs to fear no colours.

Mar. Make that good. star of a galliard. Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indiffe

Clo. He shall see none to fear. rent well in a Game-coloured stock.f Shall we.

Mar. A good lentent answer : I can tell thee set about some revels?

where that saying was born, of, I fear no coSir To. What shall we do else ? were we not

lours. born under Taurus ?

Clo. Where, good mistress Mary? Sir And. Taurus ? that's sides and heart.

Mar. In the wars; and that may you be bold Sir To. No, Sir; it is legs and thighs. Let I to say in your foolery. me see thee caper; ha ! higher; ha, ha!-ex!

Clo. Well, God give them wisdom, that have cllent!

Jit; and those that are fools, let them use their [Ereunt.

talents. SCENE IV.-A Room in the Duke's Palace. Mar. Yet you will be hanged, for being so Enter VALENTINE, and VIOLA in man's allire. long absent: or, to be turned away; is not that Val. If the duke continue these favours to- as good as a hanging to you?

Go thy way.. * Pirogue pace, the name of a dance. Stocking Full of impediments

Short ani pare

Clo. Many a good hanging prevents a bad more brain than a stone. Look you now, he's marriage ; and, for turning away, let summer out of his guard already; unless you laugh and bear it out.

minister occasion to him, he is gagged. I proMar. You are resolute then?

test, I take these wise men, that crow so at Clo. Not so neither ; but I am resolved on these set kind of fools, no better than the fools' two points.

zanies.* Mar. That, if one break,* the other will Oli. O, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, hold; or, if both break, your gaskins fall. and taste with a distempered appetite. To be

Clo. Apt, in good faith; very apt! Well, go generous, guiltless, and of free disposition, is thy way; if Sir Toby would leave drinking, to take those things for bird-bolts,t that you thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any deem cannon-bullets : There is no slander in in Nlyria.

an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail ; Mar. Peace, you rogue, no more o' that; nor no railing in a known discreet man, though here comes my lady: make your excuse wisely, he do nothing but reprove. you were best.

Exit.] Clo. Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, I Enter OLIVIA, and MALVOLIO. for thou speakest well of fools ! Clo. Wit, and't be thy will, put me into good

Re-enter Maria. fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee,

il Mar. Madam, there is at the gate a young do very oft prove fools ; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man: For what/ gentleman, much desires to speak with you.

Oli. From the count Orsino, is it? says Quinapalus? better a witty fool, than a foolish wit. - God bless thee, lady!

Mar. I know not, madam ; 'tis a fair young

man, and well attended. Oli. Take the fool away.

oli. Who of my people hold him in delay? Clo. Do you not hear, fellows ? Take away

Mar. Sir Toby madam, your kinsman. the lady.

Oli. Fetch him off, I pray you ; he speaks Oli. Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you : besides, you grow dishonest.

nothing but madman: Fye on him! (Erit

Maria.] Go you, Malvolio; if it be a suit from Clo. Two faults, madonna,t that drink and

the count, I am sick, or not at home; what you good counsel will amend: for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry; bid the disho. Will,

"will, to dismiss it. (Exit MalvoLIO.] Now nest man mend himself; if he mend, he is no you see, Sir, how your fooling grows old, and longer dishonest; if he cannot, let the botcher people dislike it. mend him: Any thing, that's mended, is but

Clo. Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if patched : virtue, that transgresses, is but patch

h thy eldest son should be a fool : whose skull ed with sin; and sin, that amends, is but

ut Jove cram with brains, for here he comes, one patched with virtue: If that this simple syllo- of thy kin, has a mo

vlies of thy kin, has a most weak pia matér. gism will serve, so; if it will not, What reme

Enter Sir Toby Belch, dy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity, Oli. By mine honour, half drunk.-What is so beauty's a flower :-the lady bade take away lhe at the gate, cousin ? the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away. Sir To. A gentleman.

Oli. Sir, I bade them take away you. | Oli. A gentleman? What gentleman

Clo. Misprision in the highest degree!-Lady, Sir To. "Tis a gentleman here- A plague of Cucullus non facit monachum; that's as much as these pickle-herrings !-How now, sot? to say, I wear not motely in my brain, Good| Clo, Good Sir Toby, madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool. Oli. Cousin, cousin, how have you come so Oli. Can you do it?

early by this lethargy? Clo. Dexterously, good madonna,

Sir To, Lechery! I defy lechery: There's Oli. Make your proof.

one at the gate. Clo. I must catechise you for it, madonna; Oli. Ay, marry; what is he? Good my mouse of virtue, answer me,

Sir To. Let him be the devil, an he will, I Oli. Well, Sir, for want of other idleness, care not: give me faith, say l. Well, it's all ru'bide your proof.

one. Clo. Good madonna, why mourn'st thou ? I Oli. What's a drunken man like, fool? Oli. Good fool for my brother's death.

Clo. Like a drownd man, a fool, and a mad. Clo. I think, his soul is in hell, madonna.

man: one draught above heat makes him a Oli. I know his soul is in heaven, fool. fool; the second mads him; and a third drowns

Clo. The more fool you, madonna, to mourn him. for your brother's soul being in heaven.--Take Oli. Go thou and seek the coroner, and let away the fool, gentlemen.

him sit o' my coz; for he's in the third degree Oli. What think you of this fool, Malvolio? of drink, he's drowned : go look after him. doth he not mend?

Clo. He is but mad yet, madonna; and the Mal. Yes; and shall do, till the pangs of fool shall look to the madman. (Exit Clows. death shake him : Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the better fool.

Re-enter MalvoLIO. Clo. God send you, Sir, a speedy infirmity, Mal. Madam, yond young fellow swears he for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will speak with you. I told him you were sick: will be sworn, that I am no fox; but he will he takes on him to understand so much, and not pass his word for two-pence that you are therelore comes to speak with you: I told him no fool.

you were asleep; he seems to have a fore-know. Oli. How say you to that, Malvolio? ledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak

Mal. I marvel your ladyship takes delight in with you. What is to be said to him, lady? such a barren rascal; I saw him put down the he's fortified against any denial. olber day with an ordinary fool, that has no Oli. Tell him, he shall not speak with me. tened the hose or breechee Fools' baubles.



Short arrow tlying | Italian, mistrese, dame.

v The cover or the brair.

* Points were hooke which fastened the hose or breeches

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