Pagina-afbeeldingen
PDF
ePub

leman. Satisfy me once more; one more search with me.

Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you, and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.

Ford. Old woman! What old woman's that? Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford.

Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we know nothing.Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down I say.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband;good gentlemen, let him not strike the old

woman.

Enter FALSTAFF in women's clothes, led by
Mrs. PAGE.

Mrs. Page. Come, mother Pratt, come, give me your hand.

Ford. I'll prat her:- -Out of my door, you witch! [Beats him.] You rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon !t out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit FALSTAFF. Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you have kill'd the poor woman.

SCENE III-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter HOST and BARDOLPH.

Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be tomorrow at court, and they are going to meet him.

Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me speak with the gentlemen; they speak English?

Bard. Ay, Sir; I'll call them to you.

Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had my houses a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off: I'll sauce them: Come. Exeunt.

SCENE IV-A Room in FORD's House.

Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD,

and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.
Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what
thou wilt;

I rather will suspect the sun with cold,
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy ho-

nour stand,

Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it :-'Tis a good-In him that was of late an heretic, ly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffler.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus upon no trail,‡ never trust me when I open again.

Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: Come, gentlemen.

As firm as faith.

Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Be not as extreme in submission,
As in offence;

But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him

for it.

[blocks in formation]

Page. How to send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight! fie, fie; he'll

[Exeunt PAGE, FORD, SHALLOW, and EVANS.
Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most piti-never come.
fully.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not;
he beat him most unpitifully, methought.
Mrs. Puge. I'll have the cudgel hallowed,
and hang o'er the altar; it hath done merito-
rious service.

Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of woman-hood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?

Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?

Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.

Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly shamed; and, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publicly shamed.

Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt.

Eva. You say, he has been thrown in the rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman: methinks, there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks, his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires. Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him
when he comes,
And let us two devise to bring him thither.
Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that

Herne the hunter,
Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd
[cattle;

horns;

And there he blasts the tree, and takes* the
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes
a chain

In a most hideous and dreadful manner :
You have heard of such a spirit; and well you
know,

The superstitious idle-headed eldt
Received, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page. Why, yet there want not many, that
do fear

In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:

But what of this?

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device;

[blocks in formation]

That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his

head.

Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll

come,

And in this shape: When you have brought
him thither,
[plot?
What shall be done with him? what is your
Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought
upon, and thus:

Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll
dress
[white,
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
With some diffusedt song; upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly :
Then let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape prophane.

Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth,
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,‡
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page. The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves; dishorn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.
Ford. The children must

Sim. Marry, Sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian* unto thee: Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, Sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [above.] How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy? fye!

Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.

Sim. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wiset woman of Brentford?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her?

Sim. My master, Sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the streets, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that be

Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.guiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy

them vizards.

[blocks in formation]

He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us properties,

And tricking for our fairies.

Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.

[Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs. FORD. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; And he my husband best of all affects: The doctor is well money'd, and his friends Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. [Exit. SCENE V-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter HOST and SIMPLE. Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

[blocks in formation]

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Sim. And what says she, I pray, Sir?
Fal. Marry,she says, that the very same man,
that beguiled master Slender of his chain, coz-

ened him of it.

Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Aye, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, Sir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim. Why Sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. "Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Sim. What, Sir?

Fal. To have her,or no: Go; say, the woman told me so.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, Sir? Fal. Ay, Sir Tike; who more bold? Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE. Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John: Was there a wise woman with thee? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter BARDOLPH.

Bard. Out, alas, Sir! cozenage! meer cozenage!

Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them varletto.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

Host. They are gone but to meet the duke A cannibal. A cunning woman, a fortune-teller. + Scholar like.

villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are | And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee

honest men.

Enter Sir HUGH EVANS.

Eva. Where is mine host?
Host. What is the matter, Sir?

Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three couzin germans, that has cozened all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened: Fare you well. [Exit.

Enter Doctor CAIUS.

Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre.
Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity,

and doubtful dilemma.

A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss.
Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and
I will, at the least, keep your counsel.
Fent. From time to time I have acquainted

[blocks in formation]

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat : but it is tell-To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and a me, dat you make grand preparation for a Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen; duke de Jarmany: by mytrot, dere is no duke, The purpose why, is here ;* in which disguise, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for While other jests are something rank on foot, good vill: adieu. [Exit. Her father hath commanded her to slip Host. Hue and cry, villain, go :-assist me, Away with Slender, and with him at Eton knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, Immediately to marry: she hath consented: villain! I am undone ! Now, Sir,

[Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at Primero.* Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.

Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villanous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stock i' the common stocks, for a witch.

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt SCENE VI.--Another Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FENTON and HOST.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. [purpose, Fent. Yet here me speak: Assist me in my * A game at cards.

Her mother, even strong against that match,
And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
Made promise to the doctor;-Now, thus it
rests:

Her father means she shall be all in white;
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
To take her by the hand, and bid her go,
She shall go with him :-her mother hath in-
tended.

The better to denote her to the doctor,
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint in green, she shall be loose en-
rob'd,

With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him.
Host. Which means she to deceive? father
or mother?

Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with

[blocks in formation]

'ACT V. SCENE I-A Room in the Garter Inn.TM

Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY. Fal. Pr'ythee, no more prattling ;-go.I'll hold : This is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they say, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.-Away.

Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns.

*In the letter. Fantastically. Keep to the time

Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs. QUICKLY.

Enter FORD.

Be

How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the
matter will be known to-night, or never.
you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's
oak, and you shall see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, Sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you. He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand.Follow: Strange things in hand, master Brook! [Exeunt.

follow.

SCENE II-Windsor Park. Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.

Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely.
Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their
lechery,

Those that betray them do no treachery.

Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on; To the oak, to the oak! [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-Windsor Park.

Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, and Fairies. Eva. Trib, trib, faries; come; and remembe your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you; Come, come; trib, trib.

[Exeunt.

SCENE V.-Another part of the Park. Enter FALSTAFF disguised,with a buck's head on.

Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me:-Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns. -O powerful love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love of Leda ;-O, omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose?-A fault done first in the form of a beast;-O Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove; a foul fault.-When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am

Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle-here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-i' the forest: send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or Remember, son Slender, my daughter. who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe?

Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word,* how to know one another, I come to her in white, and cry, mum; she cries, budget; and by that we know one

another.

Eenter Mrs. FORD and Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

Fal. My doe with the black scut?-Let the

Shal. That's good too: But what needs either your mum, or her budget? the white will desky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of cipher her well enough.-It hath struck ten

o'clock.

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt.

Green Sleeves; hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here [Embracing her. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.

Fal. Divide me like a bride-buck, each a haunch; I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow* of this walk, and SCENE III.-The Street in Windsor. my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am I a Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Dr. CAIUS, woodman? ha! Speak I like Herne the hunter? Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in Why, now is Cupid a Child of conscience; green: when you see your time, take her by he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, [Noise within. the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together.

Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu. Mrs. Page. Fare you well, Sir. [Exit CAIUS.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great

deal of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh?

Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the night.

Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him.

Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.

Watch-word.

welcome!

Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise?
Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins!
Fal. What should this be?

[blocks in formation]

Pist. Elves, list your names; silence, you

airy toys :

Cricket, to Windsor chimnies shalt thou leap: Where fires thou find'st unrak'd, and hearths unswept,

There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry:*
Our radiant queen hates sluts, and sluttery.
Fal. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them,
shall die :

I'll wink and couch: No man their works must
eye. [Lies down upon his face.
Eva. Where's Pede?-Go you, and where
you find a maid,

That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers, said,
Raise up the organs of her fantasy,
Sleep she as sound as careless infancy;

But those as sleep, and think not on their sins,
Pinch them, arms, legs, back, shoulders, sides,
and shins.

Quick. About, about;

Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out:
Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room;
That it may stand till the perpetual doom,
In state as wholesome, as in state 'tis fit;
Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
The several chairs of order look you scour
With juice of balm, and every precious flower:
Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,
With loyal blazon, evermore be blest!
And nightly, meadow-fairies, look, you sing,
Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring:
The expressure that it bears, green let it be,
More fertile-fresh than all the field to see,
And, Hony soit qui mal y pense, write,
In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and
white;

Like sapphire, pearl, and rich, embroidery,
Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee:
Fairies use flowers for their charactery.t
Away; disperse: But, till 'tis one o'clock,
Our dance of custom, round about the oak
Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.

Eva. Pray you, lock hand in hand: your-
selves in order set:

And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be,
To guide our measure round about the tree.
But, stay; I smell a man of middle earth.

Fal. Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy! lest he transform me to a piece of cheese! Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'er-look'd even in thy birth.

Quick. With trial-fire touch me his finger,
end:

If he be chaste, the flame will back descend,
And turn him to no pain; but if he start,
It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.

Pist. A trial, come.

Pinch him, fairies, mutually; Pinch him for his villany; Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, Till candles,and star-light,and moonshine be out. During this song, the fairies pinch FALTSAFF. Doctor CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a fairy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a fairy in white; and FENTON comes, and steals away Mrs. ANNE PAGE. A noise of hunting is made within. All the fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's head, and

rises.

Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, & Mrs. FORD.
They lay hold on him.

Page. Nay, do not fly: I think, we have
watch'd you now;

Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn?

Mrs. Page. I pray you, come; hold up the
jest no higher :-

Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor
wives?
[yokes*
See you these, husband? do not these fair
Become the forest better than the town?

Ford. Now, Sir, who's a cuckold now?— Master Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his horns, master Brook: And, master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money; which must be paid to master Brook; his horses are arrested for it, master Brook.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again, but I will always count you my deer.

Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made

an ass.

Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are

extant.

Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought, they were not fairies and yet the guiltiness, of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now, how wit may be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon ill employment.

Eva. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you. Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh.

Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you.

Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English. Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'er-reaching as this? Am I ridden with Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in de-a Welsh goat too? Shall I have a coxcomb of

Eva. Come, will this wood take fire?
[They burn him with their tapers.

Fal. Oh, oh, oh!

[blocks in formation]

frize?t 'tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese.

Eva. Seese is not good to give putter; your pelly is all putter.

Fal. Seese and putter! Have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking, through the realm.

Mrs. Page. Why, Sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that

*Horns which Falstaff had.

A fool's cap of Welsh materials

« VorigeDoorgaan »