answer, unless you take her without her tongue. O, that woman that cannot make her fault her husband's occasion, let her never nurse her child herself, for she will breed it like a fool. Orl. For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee. Ros. Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours. Orl. I must attend the duke at dinner; by two o'clock I will be with thee again. The rest shall bear this bur Take thou no scorn to wear the horn; All. The horn, the horn, the lusty horn, SCENE III.-The Forest. Enter ROSALIND and CELIA. Ros. How say you now? Is it not past two Ros. Ay, go your ways, go your ways;-Io'clock? and here much Orlando! knew what you would prove; my friends told Cel. I warrant you, with pure love, and me as much, and I thought no less-that flat-troubled brain, he hath ta'en his bow and artering tongue of yours won me:-'tis but one rows, and is gone forth-to sleep: Look, who cast away, and so,-come, death.-Two o'clock comes here. is your hour? Orl. Ay, sweet Rosalind. Ros. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one jot of your promise, or come one minute behind your hour, I will think you the most pathetical breakpromise, and the most hollow lover, and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind, that may be chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful: therefore, beware my censure, and keep your promise. Orl. With no less religion, than if thou wert indeed my Rosalind: So, adieu. Ros. Well, time is the old justice that examines all such offenders, and let time try: Adieu! [Exit ORLANDO. Cel. You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate: we must have your doublet and hose plucked over your head, and show the world what the bird hath done to her own nest. Ros. O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou didst know how many fathom deep I am in love! But it cannot be sound d; my affection hath an unknown bottom, like the bay of Portugal. Cel. Or rather bottomless; that as fast as you pour affection in, it runs out. Ros. No, that same wicked bastard of Venus, that was begot of thought,* conceived of spleen, and born of madness; that blind rascally boy, that abuses every one's eyes, because his own are out, let him be judge, how deep I am in love:-Ill tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out of the sight of Orlando; I'll go find a shadow, and sigh till he come. Cel. And I'll sleep. [Exeunt. Enter SILVIus. Sil. My errand is to you, fair youth;My gentle Phebe bid me give you this: [Giving a letter. I know not the contents; but, as I guess, Ros. Patience herself would startle at this letter, And play the swaggerer; bear this, bear all: Were man as rare as phœnix; Od's my will! Sil. No, 1 protest, I know not the contents; Phebe did write it. I Ros. Come, come, you are a fool, And turn'd into the extremity of love. saw her hand: she has a leathern hand, A freestone-colour'd hand; I verily did think That her old gloves were on, but 'twas her hands; She has a huswife's hand: but that's no matter: Ros. Why, 'tis a boisterous and cruel style, A style for challengers; why, she defies me, Like Turk to Christian: woman's gentle brain Could not drop forth such giant-rude invention, Such Ethiop words, blacker in their effect Than in their countenance :-Will you hear the letter? Sil. So please you, for I never heard it yet; Yet heard too much of Phebe's cruelty. Ros. She Phebes me: Mark how the tyrant writes. [Reads. Art thou god to shepherd turn'd, Sil. Call you this railing? Whiles the eye of man did woo me, Meaning me a beast. If the scorn of your bright eynet Whiles you chid me, I do love; How then might your prayers move? Of me, and all that I can make ; Ros. Do not pity him? no, he deserves no pity. Wilt thou love such a woman?-What, to make thee an instrument, and play false strains upon thee! not to be endured!-Well, go your way to her, (for I see, love hath made thee a tame snake,) and say this to her :-That if she love me, I charge her to love thee: if she will not, I will never have her, unless thou entreat for her. If you be a true lover, hence, and not a word; for here comes more company. [Exit SILVIUS. Enter OLIVER. Where, in the purlieust of this forest, stands The rank of osiers by the murmuring stream, But at this hour the house doth keep itself, Oli. If that an eye may profit by a tongue, Oli. Some of my shame; if you will know of me What man I am, and how, and why, and Cel. I pray you, tell it. Oli. When last the young Orlando parted from you, He left a promise to return again The opening of his mouth; but suddenly ⚫ Nature. The royal disposition of that beast, And he did render* him the most unnatural Oli. And well he might so do, Ros. But, to Orlando-Did he leave him Food to the suck'd and hungry lioness? pos'd so: pur But kindness, nobler ever than revenge, Ros. Was it you he rescu'd? Cel. Was't you that did so oft contrive to kill him? Oli. "Twas I; but 'tis not I: I do not shame To tell you what I was, since my conversion So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am. Ros. But, for the bloody napkin ?— Oli By, and by. When from the first to last, betwixt us two, Cel. There is more in it :-Cousin-Ganymede. Oli Look, he recovers. Ros. I would, I were at home. Cel. We'll lead you thither : I pray you, will you take him by the arm? Ros. I do so, I confess it. Ah, Sir, a body would think this was well counterfeited: I pray you, tell your brother how well I counterfeited.-Heigh ho! Oli. This was not counterfeit; there is too great testimony in your complexion, that it was a passion of earnest. Ros. Counterfeit, I assure you. Oli. Well then, take a good heart, and counterfeit to be a man. Ros. So do: but, i'faith I should have been a woman by right. Cel. Come, you look paler and paler; pray you, draw homewards :-Good Sir, go with us. Oli. That will I, for I must bear answer How you excuse my brother, Rosalind. [bas * Describe: † Scuff we cannot hold. Will. Good even, Audrey. Aud. God ye good even, William. Will. And good even to you, Sir. Touch. Good even, gentle friend: Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, pr'ythee, be covered. How old are you, friend? Will. Five and twenty, Sir. Touch. A ripe age: Is thy name William? Enter CORIN. Cor. Our master and mistress seek you; come, away, away. Touch. Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey;-I attend, I attend. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-The same. Enter ORLANDO and OLIVER. Orl. Is't possible, that on so little acquaintance you should like her? that, but seeing, you should love her? and, loving, woo? and, wooing, she should grant? and will you persevere to enjoy her? Oli. Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her, that she loves me; consent with both, that we may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good; for my father's house, and all the revenue that and here live and die a shepherd. was old Sir Rowland's, will I estate upon you, Enter ROSALIND. Orl. You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke, and all his contented followers: Go you, and prepare Aliena; for, look you, here comes my Rosalind. Ros. God save you, brother. Ros. O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me Touch. A fair name: Wast born i'the forest to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf. here? Will. Ay, Sir, I thank God. Orl. It is my arm. Ros. I thought, thy heart had been wounded Touch. Thank God;—a good answer: Art with the claws of a lion. rich? Will. 'Faith, Sir, so, so. Touch. So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good:-and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise? Will. Ay, Sir, I have a pretty wit. Touch. Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a saying; The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby, that grapes were made to eat, and lips to open. You do love this maid? Will. I do, Sir. Touch. Then learn this of me; To have, is to have: For it is a figure in rhetoric, that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other: For all your writers do consent, that ipse is he; now you are not ipse, for I am he. Will. Which he, Sir? Touch. He, Sir, that must marry this woman: Therefore, you clown, abandon,-which is in the vulgar, leave,-the society,-which in the boorish is, company,-of this female,-which in the common is, woman, which together is, abandon the society of this female; or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways; therefore tremble and depart. Aud. Do, good William. Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. Ros. Did your brother tell you how I coun terfeited to swoon, when he showed me your handkerchief? Orl. Ay, and greater wonders than that. Ros. O,I know where you are:-Nay, 'tis true: there was never any thing so sudden, but the fight of two rams, and Cæsar's thrasonical brag of—I came, saw, and overcame: For your brother and my sister no sooner met, but they looked; no sooner looked, but they loved; no sooner loved, but they sighed; no sooner sighed, but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason, but they sought the remedy: and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage: they are in the very wrath of love, and they will together; clubs cannot part them. Orl. They shall be married to-morrow; and I will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, 0, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy, in having what he wishes for. Ros. Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind? Orl. I can live no longer by thinking. Ros. I will weary you no longer then with idle talking. Know of me then, (for now I speak to some purpose,) that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit: I speak not this, that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch I say, I know you are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than [Exit. may in some little measure draw a belief from you, to do yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe then, if you please, that I can do strange things: I have, since I was three years old, conversed with a magician, most profound in this art, and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her: I know into what straits of fortune she is driven; and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes to-morrow, as she is, and without any danger. human Orl. Speakest thou in sober meanings? Enter SILVIUS and PHEBE. of hers. Phe. Youth, you have done me much gentleness, To show the letter that I writ to you. Sil. I'll not fail, if I live. Orl. Nor I. SCENE III.-The same. 225 [Exeunt. Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. I Enter two PAGES. 1 Page. Well met, honest gentleman. Touch. By my troth, well met: Come, sit, sit, and a song. 2 Page. We are for you: sit i'the middle. 1 Page. Shall we clap into't roundly, without hawking, or spitting, or saying we are hoarse; which are the only prologues to a bad voice? 2 Page. I'faith, i'faith; and both in a tune, un-like two gipsies on a horse. Ros. I care not, if I have: it is my study, Sil. It is to be all made of sighs and tears; Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman. Sil. It is to be all made of faith and serAnd so am I for Phebe. Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman. Sil. It is to be all made of fantasy, [vice ; All made of passion, and all made of wishes; Phe. And so am I for Ganymede. Phe. If this be so, why blame you me to love Orl. To her, that is not here, nor doth not hear. Touch. Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no greater matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untunable. 1 Page. You are deceived, Sir; we kept time, we lost not our time. Touch. By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear such a foolish song. God be with you; and God mend your voices! Come, Aud[Exeunt. rey. SCENE IV-Another part of the Forest. Enter DUKE, senior, AMIENS, Jaques, OrLANDO, OLIVER, and CELIA. Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the Can do all this that he hath promised? [boy Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not; Ros. Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the bowling of Irish wolves against the moon.-I will help you, [To SILVIUS] if I can :-I would love you, [To PHEBE] if I could.-To-morrow meet me all together.—I will marry you, [To PHEBE] if ever I marry woman, and I'll be married to-morrow :-I will satisfy you, [To ORLANDO] if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow:-I will content you, [To SILVIUS] if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow.-As you, To ORLANDO] love Rosalind, meet ;—as you, To SILVIUS] love Phebe, meet; And as You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, I love no woman, I'll meet.-So fare you well; have left you commands. * Invite. [fear. As those that fear they hope, and know they Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE. Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compáct is urg'd : [To the DUKE. You will bestow her on Orlando here? *A married woman. E e Duke S. That would I, had I kingdoms to Ros. And you say, you will have her, when Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed;Bear your body more seeming,* Audrey :-as thus, Sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: This is called the Retort courteous. If I Ros. You say, you'll marry me, if I be will-sent him word again, it was not well cut, he ing? [To PHEBE. Would send me word, he cut it to please himPhe. That will I, should I die the hour after. self: This is called the Quip modest. If again, Ros. But, if you do refuse to marry me, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgement: You'll give yourself to this most faithful shep- This is called the Reply churlish. If again, it Phe. So is the bargain. [herd? was not well cut, he would answer, I spake Ros. You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she not true: This is called the Reproof valiant. If will? [To SILVIUS. again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie: Sil. Though to have her and death were both This is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and one thing. so to the Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct. Jaq. And how oft did you say, his beard was not well cut? Ros. I have promis'd to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter; Touch. I durst go no further than the Lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the Lie direct; and so we measured swords, and parted. Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the de You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter:- [Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA. Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd-boy Some lively touches of my daughter's favour. Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him, Methought he was a brother to your daughter: Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDrey. Touch. O Sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have books for good manners; I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the second, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an If, as, If you said so, then I said so; and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your If is the only peacemaker; much virtue in Is. Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at any thing, and yet a fool. Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking horse, and under the presentation of that, he shoots his wit. Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all! Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome; This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I have so Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in woman's often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears. Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure ;* I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with my enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. Jaq. And how was that ta'en up? Touch. 'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. Jaq. How seventh cause?-Good my lord, like this fellow. Duke S. I like him very well. Touch. God'ild you, Sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, Sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear; according as marriage binds, and blood breaks-A poor virgin, Sir, an ill-favoured thing, Sir, but mine own; a poor humour of wine, to take that that no man else will: Rich honesty dwells like a miser, Sir, in a poor-house; as your pearl, in your foul oyster. Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious. Touch. According to the fool's bolt, Sir, and such dulcet diseases. Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause? *A*ately solemn dance, Hym. clothes; and CELIA. Still Music. That thou might'st join her hand with [TO DUKE S. To you I give myself, for I am yours. [TO ORLANDO. Duke S. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter. Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Phe. If sight and shape be true, Ros. I'll have no father, if you be not he:-- I'll have no husband, if you be not he : [To ORLANDO. No ne'er wed woman, if you be not she. [TO PHEBE Hym. Peace ho! I bar confusion: 'Tis I must make conclusion * Seemly, |