Enter HORATIO.

Hamlet.
Horatio, is that you ? I'm glad to meet you.

Horatio.
My honour'd lord, most proud am I to greet you.

Hamlet.
Horatio, you're as tight a lad, I say,
As one may meet with in a summer's day. (e)

Horatio. · Come, that won't do, my lord :-—now that's all gam

mon. (f)
He's throwing out a sprat to catch a salmon.

[ Aside.
Hamlet.
Sir, if you think it gammon, you mistake me;
For if I gammon you, the devil take me:
You know I cannot hope to gain a louse
From you, who are as poor as a church-mouse.
No, let him cringe who hopes to mend his gains ;
I should but get my labour for my pains.
Since I could tell a dray-horse from a poney, (g)
I've fix'd on you, Horatio, for my croney :
You're ne'er down-hearted; fortune's freaks you

smother,
And when she slaps one cheek, you hold up t'other.
Give me the man that stands all sorts of weather,
And we shall soon be hand and glove together.

eason

Something too much of this.

Horatio.

Pray what's the reason Your lordship sent for me?

Hamlet.

To smoke out treason.
You must with me in a good joke unite:
We have pic-nic theatricals to-night:
A pantomimic ballet I intend
To represent my dad's untimely end.
To do't in style I've made great preparations
New music, scenery, dresses, decorations. —
I've just sent tickets to the King and Queen-
Now watch my uncle in the murder-scene-
I'll bet a wager he'll convict himself;
If not, this spectre is a lying elf,
And I have all this time been drunk or dreaming
However, let us closely note his seeming.

Horatio.
My lord, we will.

[Flourish of Trumpets and Drums.

Hamlet.

This trumpeting and drumming Give notice that the King and Queen are coming. To keep the joke up I must idle be; Go to your place, and keep a seat for me.

A GRAND MARCH.

Enter POLONIUS, KING, QUEEN, OPHELIA, Rosen

CRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, OSRICK, MARCELLUS, BerNARDO, GENTLEMEN, and LADIES.

King. How fares our cousin Hamlet?

Hamlet.

Tightly, tightly; I eat the air:-You can't feed pigs so lightly.

King.

Pooh!—Nonsense Sir!-Such words I don't acknowledge.

Hamlet. (To Pol.) You told me, Sir, you acted once at .. college.

Polonius.
I acted Cæsar-Brutus laid me lower.

Hamlet.
A brute, indeed, to kill so great a bore!

Queen.
Come, sit by me, dear Hamlet, whilst they're acting.

Hamlet. I'd rather not; here's metal more attracting, (To Ophelia) Ophelia, may I lię upon your knees ?

Ophelia. 0, surely; or wherever else you please.

Hamlet.
Look at mamma-She's grinning, by the pow'rs,
And father died within the last two hours !

Ophelia.
Two months.

Hamlet.
So long: Nay then I'll turn the tables ;
The deuce take black; I'll have a suit of sables.

Ophelia. Pray, what's the play, my Lord ?

Hamlet.

I've ne'er a bill ; I cannot tell ;-but that rum jockey will.

THE CURTAIN RISES.

Enter 2d Actor as Prologue.

For us, and for our pantomime,
We beg you'll give us grace and time (h).

[Exit.

THE PANTOMIME (i).

SCENE.- A garden.

Enter Duke and Duchess—They embrace-Vow eternal love

and constancy-Duke suddenly taken ill—Duchess alarmed

-Shrieks—Enter a Page-Exit--and return with a bottle and glass-Duchess fills the glass for Duke, whilst she herself receives consolation from the bottle-Duke intimates that he feels his end fast approaching-Duchess strikes her forehead, clasps her hands, &c. &c.—(the usual pantomime signs of distress)—Vows never to survive him—at least, to live single ever after-Duke shakes his head in a manner as expressive as possible of the monosyllable “ fudge" --Duchess points to the cieling, (the pantomime mode of swearing), and exhibits a scroll thus inscribed :

« No second husband will I take,

« When I have lost my first,
“ I swear : and if my vow I break,

“ Why, then-may I be curs’d.”

They embrace-Duke gently reclines his head over his right

shoulder, and meets it with the palm of his right hand (pantomime for “ sleepy”)—Duchess takes the hint-Reaches & chair_Duke seats himself - Sleeps-Snores—Duchess points to the Duke-Presses her heart-Points to the cieling