And it is a dreadful

they see it would hurt you. venture for you to think, as yet, of trusting to yourselves. Trust, therefore, to those whom you have all manner of reason to trust; and obey them willingly, who, by the laws of God and man, have a right to rule you; and, generally speaking, a power to make you obey at last, be you ever so unwilling.

Not that children are bound to obedience in all things without exception. Should a parent command them to lie, to steal, to commit any wickedness, God commands the contrary; and he is to be obeyed-not man. Or should a parent command any thing of consequence, directly opposite to the laws of the land, and the injunctions of public authority-here the magistrate being the superior power, in all things that confessedly be long to his jurisdiction, is to be obeyed rather than the parent, who ought himself to be subject to the magistrate. Or if, in other points, a parent should require what was both very evidently, and very greatly, unsuitable to a child's condition and station; or had a clear tendency to make him miserable; or would be certainly and considerably prejudicial to him through the remainder of his life; where the one goes so far beyond his just bounds, the other may allowably excuse himself from complying. Only the case must be both so plain, and withal of such moment, as may justify him, not only in his own judgment, which may easily be prejudiced, but in that of every considerate person, whom he hath opportunity of consulting, and in the general opinion of mankind. And even then, the refusal must be accompanied with the greatest decency and humility; and the strictest care to make amends, by all instances of real duty, for this one seeming want of duty.

(5) See Taylor's Elements of Civil Law, 387, 388, 389.

In proportion as young persons approach to that age, when the law allows them to be capable of governing themselves, they become, by degrees, less and less subject to the government of their parents; especially in smaller matters: for, in the more important concerns of life, and, above all, in the very important one of marriage, not only daughters, (concerning whom, the very phrase of, giving them in marriage, shows that they are not to give themselves as they please,) but sons too, should have all possible regard to the authority, the judgment, the blessing, the comfort of those to whom they owe every thing. And even after they are sent out into the world, to stand on their own bottom, still they remain for ever bound not to slight, or willingly to grieve them, but in all proper affairs, to consult with them, and hearken to them, as far as it can be at all expected, in reason or gratitude, that they should.

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4. The last thing, which in Scripture the phrase of honouring parents comprehends, is, affording them decent relief and support, if they are reduced to want it. For thus our Saviour explains the word, in his reproof of the Pharisees, for "" making "this Commandment of no effect by their tradi"tion. God commanded, Honour thy father and "thy mother; but ye say, Whosoever shall say to "his father and mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever "thou mightest be profited by me;" that is, what should have relieved you, I have devoted to religious uses; "whosoever shall say this, and honoureth not his father or his mother, he shall "be free." In St. Mark it is, "Ye suffer him no more to do aught for his father or his mother."7 And in other places of Scripture, besides this, honouring a person, signifies contributing to his maintenance: as 1 Tim. v. 17, 18-“ Let the (7) Mark vii. 12.

(6) Matt. xv. 4, 5, 6.

"Elders that rule well, be counted worthy of "double honour; especially they who labour in "the word and doctrine; for the Scripture saith, "the labourer is worthy of his reward."

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How worthy parents are of this, as well as the other sorts of honour, when they need it, sufficiently appears from all that hath been said. If they deserve to be loved and respected, surely they are not to be left exposed to distress and want, by those whom they have brought into life, and for whom they have done so much; but children, even if they are poor, should both be diligent in working, and provident in saving, to keep their helpless parents from extremities; and if they are in competently good circumstances, should allow them a liberal share of their plenty, which they enjoy themselves. Accordingly, St. Paul directs, that both "children and nephews," that is, grand-children- for so the word nephew always means in Scripture, should "learn first to show piety at home, and to requite their parents; for "that is good and acceptable before God."8 Indeed, nature, as well as Christianity, enjoins it so strongly, that the whole world cries out shame where it is neglected. And the same reason which requires parents to be assisted in their necessities, requires children also to attend upon them, and minister to them, with vigilant assiduity and tender affection, in their infirmities; and to consult, on every occasion, their desires, their peace, their ease. And they should consider both what they contribute to their support, and every other instance of regard which they show them; not as an alms given to an inferior, but as a tribute of duty paid to a superior. For which reason, perhaps, it may be, that relieving them is mentioned in Scripture, under the notion of honouring them.

(8) 1 Tim. v. 4.

One thing more to be observed is, that all these duties of children belong equally to both parents; the mother being as expressly named as the father, in the Commandment; and having the same right in point of reason. Only, if contrary orders are given by the two parents to the child, he is bound to obey that parent rather, whom the other is bound to obey also; but still preserving to each all due reverence; from which nothing, not even the command of either, can discharge him.9

And now I proceed to the duties of parents to their children; on which there is much less need to enlarge, than on the other. For, not only parents have more understanding to know their duty, and stronger affections to prompt them to do it; but, indeed, a great part of it hath been already intimated, in setting forth that of children to them. It is the duty of parents to take all that kind care, which is the main foundation of love; to keep up such authority, as may secure respect— to give such reasonable commands as may engage a willing obedience; and thus to make their children so good, and themselves so esteemed by them, that they may depend, in case of need, on assistance and succour from them.

More particularly they are bound to think them, from the first, worthy of their own inspection and pains; and not abandon them to the negligence, or bad management of others; so to be tender of them and indulge them, as not to encourage their faults; so to reprove and correct them, as not to break their spirits, or provoke their hatred; to instil into them the knowledge, and require of them the practice, of their duty to God and man; and recommend to them every precept, both of religion and morality, by what is

(9) Pietas Parentibus, esti inæqualis est eorum potestas, æqua debebitur. D. 27, 10, 4.

the strongest recommendation, a good and amiable example; to breed them up as suitably to their condition, as may be; but to be sure not above it; watching over them with all the care that conduces to health; but allowing them in none of the softness that produces luxury and indolence; or of the needless distinctions that pamper pride; to begin preparing them early, according to their future station in life, for being useful in it to others and themselves; to provide conscientiously for their spiritual and eternal, as well as temporal good, in disposing of them; and bestow on them willingly, as soon as it is fit, whatever may be requisite to settle them properly in the world; to lay up for them, not by injustice, penuriousness, or immoderate solicitude, all that they can; but by honest and prudent diligence and attention, as much as is sufficient; and to distribute this amongst them, not as fondness, or resentment, or caprice, or vanity, may dictate, but in a reasonable and equitable manner, such as will be likeliest to make those who receive it, love one another, and esteem the memory of the giver.

These are, in brief, the mutual duties of parents and children: and you will easily perceive that they are the duties, in proportion, of all who, by any occasional or accidental means, come to stand in the stead of parents or of children. The main thing which wants to be observed, is, that from the neglect of these duties on one side, or on both, proceeds a very great part of the wickedness and misery that are in the world. May God incline the hearts of all that are concerned either way in this most important relation, so to practice the several obligations of it, as may procure to them, in this world, reciprocal satisfaction and joy, and eternal felicity in that which is to come, through Jesus Christ our Lord.