whereof the present learned are such zealous assertors. He said that new systems of nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age; and even those who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical principles would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of vogue when that was determined.*

I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient learned. I saw most of the Roman emperors. I prevailed on the governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to dress us a dinner, but they could not show us much of their skill, for want of materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, but I was not able to get down a second spoonful.

The two gentlemen who conducted me to the island were pressed by their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure for two or three hundred years past, in our own and other countries of Europe; and having been always a great admirer of old illustrious families, I desired the governor would call up a dozen or two of kings, with their ancestors, in order, for eight or nine generations. But my disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead of a long train with royal diadems, I saw in one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italian prelate; in another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I have too great a veneration for crowned heads to dwell any longer on so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, and the like, I was not so scrupulous. And I confess it was not without some pleasure that I found myself able to trace the particular features by which certain families are distinguished up to

Sir Walter Scott says that "this, with other passages, shows that the Dean understood little natural philosophy, and rather undervalued its professors." Yet in the introduction to "Polite Conversation" he pays, in his own indirect and sarcastic way, a handsome compliment to Sir Isaac Newton. I suspect the mathematician lost ground in the philosopher's opinion from his decision upon the essay of "Wood's Halfpence." It may well be doubted that the subjoined passage, to which Scott alludes, is intended as complimentary to the philosopher. "I have been assured by more than one credible person how some of my enemies have industriously whispered about that one Isaac Newton, an instrument maker, formerly living near Leicester Fields, and afterwards a workman in the Mint at the Tower, might possibly pretend to vie with me for fame in future times. The man, it seems, was knighted for making sundials better than others of his trade, and was thought to be a conjuror because he knew how to draw lines and circles upon a slate, which nobody could understand. But adieu to all noble attempts for endless renown, if the ghost of an obscure mechanic shall be raised up to enter into competition with me, only for his skill in making pothooks and hangers with a pencil, which many thousand accomplished gentlemen and ladies can perform as well with pen and ink upon a piece of paper, and in a manner as little intelligible as those of Sir Isaac."

their originals. I could plainly discover whence one family derives a long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves for two generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be crackbrained, and a fourth to be sharpers: whence it came, what Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, Nec vir fortis, nec fæmina casta ; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice grew to be characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as much as by their coats of Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an interruption of lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains, and pickpockets.

I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, for a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war to cowards; the wisest counsel to fools; sincerity to flatterers; Roman virtue to betrayers of their country; piety to atheists; truth to informers: how many innocent and excellent persons had been condemned to death or banishment, by the practising of great ministers upon the corruption of judges, and the malice of factions: how many villains had been exalted to the highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit: how great a share in the motions and events of courts, councils, and senates might be challenged by parasites and buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the contemptible accidents to which they owed their success!

Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a prince and chief minister, where no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state; and have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the true causes of many great events that have surprised the world. A general confessed, in my presence, that he got a victory purely by the force of cowardice and ill-conduct; and an admiral, that for want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy to whom he intended to betray the fleet.* Three kings protested to me that in their whole reigns they

It is very probable that Swift here alludes, according to the conjecture of Sir Walter Scott, to the conduct of Admiral Russell, previous to the battle off La Hogue, in 1692. Russell, at the time, was in command of the English and Dutch fleets, and though he had received

never did once prefer any person of merit, unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they confided: neither would they do it if they were to live again: and they showed, with great strength of reason, that the royal throne could not be supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, restive temper, which virtue infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public business.*

I had the curiosity to inquire, in a particular manner, by what methods great members had procured to themselves high titles of honour, and prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a very modern period: however, without grating upon present times, because I would be sure to give no offence even to foreigners; for I hope the reader need not be told, that I do not in the least intend my own country, in what I say upon this occasion. A great number of persons concerned were called up; and, upon a very slight examination, discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury, oppression, subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, were among the most excusable arts they had to mention; and for these I made, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to debauchery; others, to the betraying of their country or their prince; some, to poisoning; more, to the perverting of justice, in order to destroy the innocent; I hope I may be pardoned if these discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that profound veneration which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost respect due to their sublime dignity, by us their inferiors.

I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, and desired to see the persons by whom those services were performed. Upon inquiry I was told that their names were to be found on no record, except a few of them, whom history has represented as the

many rewards and honours from William III., whom he had invited to come over to England, his ambition and greed were still unsatisfied, and he carried on at the very time a treasonable correspondence with James II. for the purpose of restoring him to the throne, and even proposed to get out of the way with the fleet, so as to give the invaders an opportunity of landing. And yet, with all his readiness to play the traitor, he had enough of English feeling, and perhaps professional spirit, to intimate to the enemy "that if he met the French fleet he would fight it, even though the king himself were on board." In this he was as good as his word. On the 19th of May he engaged the French fleet off La Hogue, and gained a signal victory, which demolished the hopes of the prince whom he was plotting to restore to his kingdom.

Scott conjectures, what is very likely, that the three monarchs alluded to here are Charles II., James II., and William III., none of whom stood high in Swift's good graces.

ལོངས་

vilest of rogues and traitors. As to the rest, I had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected looks, and in the meanest habits; most of them telling me they died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or on a gibbet.

Among others, there was one person whose case appeared a little singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his side. He told me he had for many years been commander of a ship, and in the sea-fight at Actium had the good fortune to break through the enemy's great line of battle, sink three of their capital ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony's flight, and of the victory that ensued; that the youth standing by him, his only son, was killed in the action. He added, that upon the confidence of some merit, the war being at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustus to be preferred to a greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but, without any regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy who had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of the emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel,