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after the close of the afternoon meeting at Rose-street, and I was altogether unable to understand why; for I could not see but that I had been in the way of my duty, in standing upon my feet, or that I had kept back any part of what was given me for the people, or that I had added any thing of my own, or that I had missed my way either by standing up too soon, or had kept my seat beyond the right time. Trying as this baptism was to human nature to endure, yet I felt thankful for it; and for that Divine support which I had experienced whilst labouring under it, not doubting but that such trying dispensations are intended in mercy, to humble the creature, that so all boasting may be excluded, and that all the praise that may appertain to our very best religious performances may be given to the Father and his Son Christ Jesus, to whom only it belongs.
Second-day, 9th of 10th mo. 1826. Accompanied by Adam Mott and his wife, I left my comfortable abode in the city : we were favoured safely to reach Richard Mott's this evening.
Third-day, we attended the select preparative meeting of Mamaro-neck ; a quiet and comfortable meeting. Fourth-day, we attended the monthly meeting, which was large ; if any religious service was called for at my hands this day, it was to me comparable to that of entering the cellar of a large old building, to examine the foundation on which this building stood, and searching out the decayed stones and rotten timbers in the foundation on which the building was standing, in order that they might be removed; that so way might be made for sound materials being placed in the foundation in their room. In the monthly meeting it appeared evident, that unsoundness of principle had made inroads on the minds of some who were busy-bodies, and took an active part in the concerns of society, thereby standing in the way of such as were qualified to come forward and lend a helping hand in the discipline. The day closed peacefully ; in the evening we rode to our kind friend Hester Griffin's, where we took up our abode for the night.
Fifth-day morning, very stormy, which was discouraging, as we intended to be at the monthly meeting of Shapaqua, about seven miles' ride : accompanied by Edmund Griffin, we proceeded accordingly. In the meeting for worship, I had to open the state of things amongst Friends of this meeting, in such a pointed manner, that when I took my seat I was plunged into a sea of discouragement, fearing what I had thus communicated had proceeded from the transformations of the evil one. Gladly would I have made my escape from the meeting-house, could 'I have done it with any propriety; but by endeavouring to settle down into the quiet, that I might be favoured to come at a true sense how far my movements at this time had been in the vision of light or not, an elderly Friend stood up, and in a solid, feeling manner
expressed his full concurrence with the plain truths, that had been delivered in such a weighty manner amongst them by a stranger from a distant land, and the desire he felt that the labour which had been thus bestowed might become profitable to them. Earnest were the breathings of my soul, that the sound of my voice might not be heard during the transacting the business of this monthly meeting, unless the woe was felt
: and at the close of this meeting, Friends expressed their thankfulness our lot had been thus cast amongst them. After meeting, we rode to the house of Moses Suttorn, at Crocon Valley, and took up our abode for the night. On recurring to the baptism I had been introduced into in the meeting for worship, after I had been engaged in religious service, I thought there was cause for thankfulness on my part, however, during the continuance of this dispensation; although it was to the creature most humiliating; but the assurance attends my mind that it was permitted in great mercy to humble me; and earnest were the cravings of my soul, that the same Divine mercy and loving kindness, that had thus permitted me to be tried and proved, would not spare me; but continue to make use of such ways and means, from time to time, as were necessary to keep me truly humble, in a state of nothingness, and entire dependence upon Him, who alone remains to be a covert from the heat, a shelter from the storm, and the shadow of a mighty rock in that weary land, in which we may for a time be permitted to have our dwelling, when the blast of the terrible one may, for the trial of our faith in our holy Redeemer's power, be suffered to come up against our walls: thus closed this day.
Sixth-day morning, accompanied by the son of Moses Suttom, we proceeded to Amawalk meeting-house. I felt cause for thankfulness in being introduced to that state of mind, which, if abode under, would prove preparatory to receive the wine of the kingdom, should my Divine Master see meet to dispense a portion, whether for my own consolation and comfort, or to mete it out for the consolation and comfort of others. We understood the meeting was not so largely attended as generally is the case: much close exercise of mind and religious labour fell to my lot; but as faithfulness obtained the ascendency over that fearfulness which is of the creature, the reward of peace
became the result. Testimonies were borne by some Friends of the meeting, at its close, in confirmation of the necessity of such plain truths as had been delivered amongst them; and there were expressions of desire, that Friends would consider them as a fresh proof of that Divine regard, which was still manifested towards the members of their meeting : for that nothing short of Divine aid could have effected such clear views of their states, in the scveral particulars that had been spoken to; and
that if such to whom they belonged would not be willing to profit by them, it would redound to their own condemnation : these reniarks, made by weighty Friends of the meeting, were to me like a brook by the way. After meeting, we proceeded to Benjamin Griffin's, at Amawalk. I was given to understand, that reports were in circulation in this quarterly meeting, relative to my being closeted alone with Elias Hicks for an hour, and that I had declared to a member of Society, who was one of his adherents, that the state of things amongst Friends in England, when I left it, was worse, with respect to the prevalency of a separating, dividing spirit, than in this land, and that the followers of E. Hicks had brought me over to their party. Although I well knew all these reports to be utterly false and unfounded, yet, on my first hearing them, they occasioned me some painful feelings, not knowing how they might have a tendency to block up my way in the minds of some Friends.
I had proposed to myself endeavouring to have them cleared up; but taking the best view of the subject I was capable of, it appeared safest for me to move quietly forward, and mind my great Master's business ; under an assurance, that these false and unfounded reports respecting me, would in time remedy themselves: and here I was enabled to leave this painful
Seventh-day; after an early dinner we left Amawalk towards Pek’s-kiln, and lodged at the house of Abraham Carpenter.
First-day morning : we attended Pek's-kiln meeting. In the afternoon we walked about two miles to take tea with a Friend's family, where we found a number of young people : conversation took place, in which I took a share, until I found I could no longer take any interest therein, and yet I feared to give way to feelings my mind was brought under, lest I should get into a habit of preaching when not called upon ; and through a fear of this sort, I kept silence until some of the company rose on their feet to leave the house, which obliged me to request their taking their seats again, and strength was afforded me to obtain relief. I returned in the evening to James Brown's, with a peaceful mind.
Second-day, 16th of 10th mo.; accompanied by my kind companions, Adam and Anna Mott, we proceeded on our way to Cornwall quarterly meeting: reached Canterbury, the residence of the widow of David Sands, who spent many years in the service of truth in Old England.
We attended the select quarterly meeting for Cornwall, which appeared to be composed of some solid weighty Friends, who manifested a lively zeal for the preservation of soundness in this part of the body. As I endeavoured to stand resigned to be anything or nothing, Divine regard mercifully condescended to be near for my help, enabling me to rejoice under a sense of the
sufficiency of his Divine power to give strength for the performance of that work whereunto, I humbly hope I may say, I felt His renewed call. The quarterly meeting for the general concerns of the Society commenced with a meeting for worship, which was largely attended: the meeting for discipline was greatly disturbed by many young men coming into the meeting-house in a noisy and rather rude manner: after it had become settled again, feeling as I apprehended, an engagement of mind to speak publicly to them relative to their conduct, I endeavoured to do so in as affectionate a manner as the nature of such an offence allowed of; which, I had reason to believe, was a relief to the rightly exercised members of the meeting. Cornwall is a newly settled quarterly meeting; the members of it at one time formed a part of Nine Partners’ quarterly meeting. The summary manner in which the queries from the monthly meetings were answered, brought me under the necessity of casting before the meeting the view that I apprehended had been given me on this subject. This appeared to give courage to others, who before had kept silence, to express their uneasiness with this practice, which the monthly meetings had thus fallen into : the meeting was brought under considerable exercise, that in future the monthly meetings should be more explicit in answering their queries, on which account a minute was made to go down to the monthly and preparative meetings, to enforce a compliance with the views the meeting had taken on the subject. Observing the men's meeting was drawing to a close, and my mind continuing to be exercised with a subject in which the women were equally concerned with the men, I requested, if agreeable to the men and women's meeting, the shutters between the two apartments might be raised, which took place accordingly. In obtaining full relief to my own mind, I was brought under the necessity of going more into particulars than felt pleasant to my natural inclination; yet there was ground to believe, what was offered was well received by many, if not all: and fresh cause there was for me to say, hitherto the Lord hath been my stay and my support; to him be the praise given. The concluding meeting for worship was held, the next morning, which was largely attended, and proved a favoured time, closing with solemn prayer and thanksgiving to Almighty God for his unmerited mercies; in that he had been pleased once more to manifest his regard towards the members of this quarterly meeting ; under a grateful sense of which Friends appeared to separate. In the afternoon we proceeded to the Lower Clove, and took up our abode at the house of Zebulon Townsend.
Seventh-day, 21st of 10th mo. we rode to Jonah Odett's. The road over the mountains not admitting of a carriage to travel upon it, we were obliged to take another route, which made
our journey about twenty-seven miles, and a part of this road was 60 very bad, it appeared at times dangerous for us to proceed. I endeavoured after patience, under a belief no harm would be suffered to befall us; and thankful we were when favoured to reach the Upper Clove in safety.
First-day morning: we proceeded to Cokeatt meeting-house, about one mile and a half distant, but the road was worse than any we had travelled the day before. There are but very few members to keep up this meeting, yet, by comers-in not professing with our Society, we had a considerable attendance : in the evening after Jonah Odett's family was collected, and the opportunity of reading being closed, a pause took place ; when counsel, I humbly trust, suitable to the states of some of the younger parts of our company was plentifully handed out, which I was ready to hope, would not be lost sight of. We were much comforted in being in this family, and the solid manner in which the evening was passed, rewarded me for giving up to attend this meeting.
The next day, my companions Adam and Anna Mott and myself proceeded towards New York, a journey of about forty miles, which place we were favoured to reach late in the afternoon; here we parted, having myself been most kindly and affectionately cared for by them.
Third-day : during my sleepless hours last night, some of my future prospects of religious duty occupied my mind, not being able to look to any one for a companion for a continuance, but my kind friend Samuel Wood; I endeavoured to dwell patiently under the weight of this subject, when Truth appeared to me to point out the propriety of having the standing committee of the Meeting for Sufferings called together, to whom was referred the care of providing me with a companion, of which number I found S. Wood was one ; and that it would be proper for me to attend, and lay before them the trying situation i was placed in, no reason whatsoever having been brought forward to the monthy meeting already mentioned, for objecting to S. W.'s being my caretaker. I opened the views I had of this subject to a few suitable Friends, all of whom concurred with me herein; but it appeared best to leave the summoning of this committee until I returned again to New York, after I had attended the quarterly meeting of Flushing on Long Island.
Fourth-day morning : accompanied by Adam and A. Mott, I proceeded to Flushing, on Long Island, to attend the quarterly meeting, and was kindly received by Samuel Parsons and wifé. The select quarterly meeting began this inorning : the queries were answered, but in such a summary way, as to render it difficult to come at the true state of this part of the Society; these answers were passed over by the members of this meeting in silence. I found I must lay before Friends the loss which meel