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so, that it is inmostly present in every love, imparting to it the love of understanding
There are as many kinds of love as there are men, yet in general there is a love in which is man, another in which is the world, and a third in which is the Lord; or, again, in general there is the love of self, of the world, and of uses. The love of self is corporeal, the love of the world material, and the love of uses spiritual. The loves of self and of the world, separate from the love of uses, are infernal, but when they are not separated, then the love of uses rules, and the two other loves serve.
Love is will in the mind, effort in the body, and it becomes act upon determination. Or again, love is the end, the middle or mediate form of love is the cause, and the last or ultimate form of love is the effect. Hence end, cause, and effect, act as one; which may also be illustrated by soul, spirit, and body. In the Lord is the only end which is love, the only cause which is wisdom, and the only effect which is use; these three proceed from the Lord as one.
The progress of love is as follows :
Love progresses through the causes to the effects, and hence to the more distant effects, and finally to the last; from these it returns again to the first effect, but not by the same way: hence the first love beholds itself in an image in the second love; the first love causes this. This circulation of love is illustrated by the circulation of the blood from the heart back into the heart through the body, and also through the lungs. Love in general is the image of one in another from things agreeing : which applies to conjugial love in a still higher degree.
Tbere proceeds from the Lord a masculine and a feminine love, but neither can be in a state of fulness, except through the other at the same time.
Man cannot love the Lord, but what proceeds from Him.
The form of love in which man is in the world remains after death, and makes one with the form of the society, into which he comes.
Love makes one with a man's knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom, for by these it exists.
The love of sex is the most universal of all loves, and hence it is in every least particular the same. It is according to religion; it is none where there is no religion ; it is also according to the love of uses. When man is in this love, he is in a state of creation; he is then in conjunction with the Lord, and in a state of reception of everything belonging to good and truth.
Spiritual celestial love between married partners is love truly con
jugial, which regarded in itself is the union of souls, the conjunction of minds, and the conspiring of all parts in the body towards conjunction in the breasts, and a delightful conjunction following thence.
Conjugiallove consists pre-eminently in one married partner regarding the good of the other before his own. The states of this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, a desire of the soul and heart to do everything that is good to the other, and a perfect confidence of one married partner in the other; in and from all of which there is a feeling of blessedness, happiness, delight, and pleasure ; and from the eternal enjoyment of which there results a life of blessedness. Conjugial love also is without any lasciviousness.
Conjugial love is twofold, internal and external. The internal love is also twofold, spiritual and celestial; and the external, likewise, rational and natural. The internal love is angelic, and may be imparted to men, the external is properly human. Natural conjugial love is separated from rational conjugial love, and the former is properly animal. Internal conjugial love which is celestial and spiritual, cannot be separated from external conjugial love, which is rational and natural ; but they exist together, and act as one.
Man is a man according to the quality of the conjugial love in which he is. He is a man in proportion as spiritual conjugial love makes one with natural conjugial love.
Love truly conjugial is reciprocal, it is a love both from the one and from the other; yet love truly conjugial flows into the husband through the wife, and if he does not love his wife, her life flowing into him affects him with nausea.
Those who are in love truly conjugial, and hence in an overflowing state of potency, are also in the chaste love of the sex.
When conjugial love is looked upon as a duty and not as a free choice, it becomes constrained, and is not free. Those who are in the pride of intellect cannot love their wives at all
. The reason why men do not know the nature of conjugal love is fourfold : because they do not approach the Lord, because they separate faith from charity, and because hence there is no love of the neighbour, and consequently no conjugial love.
I learned from the angels that there is no conjugial love with those who do not approach the Lord, and that it only exists where the married partners are in the spiritual marriage; that from this marriage there results the most intimate friendship between the married partners, and that where this exists, the ultimate love may also exist; and that where there is perpetual conjugial love, there is also perpetual potency.
The conjunction with the Lord is rendered full by conjugial love; it is not full with a single man nor with a single woman.
IV. OF THE DELIGHTS OF CONJUGIAL LOVE.
By delight is understood everything pertaining to joy and gladness. Love by wisdom causes them to be felt. All delights are from love and its effect. All the delights of love are in the effect, and through this in the intermediates. Delights follow in order, like end, cause, and effect.
In conjugial love, through and from the same, are all delights in their fulness. The highest and inmost delights, which are those of peace and innocence, are imperceptible, but in proportion as they descend, they become perceptible, and finally in ultimates they become a delight, which is in the highest degree sensible.
The reasons why delights in ultimates become sensible or perceptible in the highest degree are the following: first, because they descend in order from things imperceptible, and in ultimates all things exist simultaneously; secondly, because conjugial love affects the least particulars both of the soul and of the body; thirdly, because this love and its delights communicate with heaven; fourthly, because delights are according to use, and the use of conjugial love is the chief of all; fifthly, because conjugial love is with those who are in conjunction with the Lord. Hence the delights of this love are ineffable and innumerable.
This is unknown in the world because there is no religion there.
In proportion as conjugial love is more interior, it is more full of delights; and the more any one is in this love, the more does he continue in those delights, and the more do they increase.
Conjugial love, in respect to its delights, and their exaltation and constancy, is according to its origin in the mind. According to its origin, it becomes either more or less sensible or insensible.
Every man has internal happiness according to his conjugial love.
Only with one wife can there be given those states of heavenly blessedness, of spiritual happiness and of natural delight, which from the beginning were vouchsafed to those who are in love truly conjugial. The delights of love truly conjugial, even its ultimate delights, are void of all feeling of lasciviousness.
V. RELATION OF THE SEXES.
There is the truth of good, and the good of truth, which two are distinct, because the one flows froin the other. The truth of good is masculine, and the good of truth feminine; between these two there is a marriage which is properly understood by the marriage of good and truth.
Between the two is the love which is called conjugial love. In this marriage there is a reciprocal action and reaction, by which one becomes the other's, and there arises hence a reciprocal relation. Good and truth do not exist abstractly from substances, and substances do not exist independently of forms.
Many may be conjoined in the natural world as friends, as to their external affections, but few as to their internal affections; in the spiritual world, however, all are conjoined as to the internal affections of their love.
There is an infinite variety of internal affections with men, and an infinite variety of external affections with women. There exists an agreement and disagreement between the internal affections of men, and the external affections of women.
Man is the form of wisdom from love, and women of love from wisdom. By evils they fell into an opposite form ; yet by approaching the Lord, and shunning evils as sins, they may be brought back into the form into which they were created.
Husbands from creation are forms of wisdom, intelligence, and knowledge, and wives from creation are forms of the love of the same. Wives do not enter into the wisdom, intelligence, and knowledge proper to husbands, but they are affected by them, and love their husbands from them.
The intelligence of woman in itself is tender, pacific, yielding, soft, beautiful, modest, lovely, just as she herself is; and the intelligence of man is stern, rugged, hard, obstinate, bold, overleaping bounds. The intelligence of wives busies itself with external things which relate to household matters, and are called domestic; and in internal things, and in such as refer to public matters, she depends upon the intelligence of her husband; and if she is a widow, she depends upon the intelligence of men, with the exception of what she draws from herself, from the remembrance of her husband.
Man has a faculty of knowing, of understanding, and of being wise, which does not belong to the wife; and the wife has a faculty of knowing, of understanding, and of being wise, which does not belong to the
In woman there is an inclination of loving, in a man, those things which belong to the knowledge, the intelligence, and the wisdom of men; and in man there is an inclination to love, in a woman the things which belong to the knowledge, the intelligence, and the wisdom of women. From creation it was so arranged that the faculties and inclinations of both should be conjoined into one.
The conjunction is inspired by woman according to her love, and this is received by man according to his wisdom. The inclination of conjoining to herself the man is constant and perpetual with the woman, but its reception is various and alternate with the man.
The perception of the inclinations and the affections of the man, and at the same time the prudence of moderating them, constitutes woman's wisdom. The women conceal this wisdom in themselves, and reveal nothing whatever to man, for reasons which are necessities, so that love, friendship, and confidence, and thus the union of the souls and minds, and likewise the bliss of cohabitation, and the happiness of the life of both, may be preserved and established.
In proportion as woman is beautiful she is also tender, and as she is tender, she is made perceptible of the delights of conjugial love; and as she becomes perceptible of them, she becomes the faithful custodian of the common good, and in proportion as she is the custodian of the same, and as the husband is wise, the prosperity and happiness of the house is established.
There are offices peculiar to men, and others peculiar to women; those which are proper to men may be called public, and those proper to women, domestic. Man from the wisdom proper to himself inclines to his offices, and woman from the wisdom proper to herself inclines to hers. The offices of men require interior judgment, and those of women exterior judgment.
Women cannot enter into the offices of men, nor can men enter into those of women, and perform them well. The conjunction of these offices constitutes mutual help. By this mutual help man and woman make one house, which coheres as a one. The offices of both constitute as it were the form of one government. The offices of man relate to wisdom, and those of woman to the doing of the delights of man's wisdom, thus they relate to the man. All these become either more or less perfect or imperfect, according to the state of conjugial love between them.
The perception, and hence the wisdom of man, cannot be given to woman; and the perception, and thence the wisdom of woman, cannot be given to man.
The perception and wisdom of both are conjoined by the marriage of one man with one wife, and this conjunction is according to the quality of the conjugial love, and man according to this conjunction becomes either more and more, or else less and less, a man.
The wife is actually formed into the love of the wisdom of her husband, and this is done by her receiving the propagations of his soul with the delight arising from her wish of being the love of her husband's