some success, in preparing a discourse,-writing one day and

sleeping with exhaustion the next.

ever, I felt satisfied, hard as it was.

With this process, how-
But at the close of the

last day, last Friday, I found myself agitated and overcome,weakened and shattered, like a ship after a storm. I went early to bed, soon had a sick headache, and was not sensible of a moment's sleep all night. The next day, I could only sit and doze and groan in my chair, and from that time I have not been able to add a sentence to my sermon. Indeed, I have been unable to do any thing, except to read a little in my Bible,—just enough to keep the soul steady and steadfast. Yesterday morning, I felt a little better, and thinking that possibly it were not yet too late, I 'girded up' to a desperate effort; but it was all in vain! A haze came over my mind, the symptoms of disease came up, and I floundered and sunk! Last night, I scarcely slept an hour all night, and to-day I am in constant disquietude. This is another sad disappointment, a severe stroke from the chastening rod of my heavenly Father, it prolongs and darkens the mystery of his providence. But it is right,-it is good,-I make no complaint."

Mr. Stearns spent the winter after his dismission, at Bedford. The excitement which preceded and the exhaustion which folowed that event, to one constituted and circumstanced as he was, were great. He had been for many years looking forward to the ministry as the principal object for which his life was desirable; he had trained himself, diligently, for its noble employments; he had at last entered upon the active duties of the pastoral office. The accepted station was as well adapted to the peculiarities of his mind and constitution,

as any he could ever hope to fill; the probabilities that he could sustain it and glorify God in it were encouraging; and it now seemed to him that the ends of his existence were about to be accomplished. When he made up his mind to ask a dismission from his people, he knew that, to all human appearance, the prospect of usefulness in his chosen occupation was at an end. He had reason to fear, that henceforth he must be a burden rather than a blessing to society, and linger on, perhaps in a state of bodily and mental languishment, to which death itself would be preferable. The effects of this new affliction, however, were less injurious than might have been expected. After a few weeks, strength returned, the process of recovery went slowly on, and strange as it may now seem, Mr. Stearns was soon sustained, as he characteristically had been from youth, with the sentiment, that he should yet rise above disease, and "be useful for a little season in the world."

CHAPTER VI.

JOURNEY TO WASHINGTON- VOYAGE TO EUROPE-FOREIGN

TRAVELS.

In the spring, Mr. Stearns visited Washington, and made an excursion from thence to Mount Vernon.

"All the exterior of the government," he writes, "is imposing. It is calculated to inspire an American's heart with patriotic pride; to raise it with hope. But all within, all besides, disappoints, disgusts, sickens you with distrust and horrifies you with dread, and makes you turn away with loathing and heart-sinking. We made a pleasant excursion to Mount Vernon, and felt that the lowly, narrow, decaying receptacle of the dead could inspire us with more awe, reverence and satisfaction, than all the magnificence and parade of the living."

On his return, he began to deliberate seriously upon a subject which he had often contemplated before, the propriety, in in his case, of a voyage to Europe. To this undertaking he had been repeatedly advised, by many friends, and some physicians; and at this time providential circumstances seemed to point that way.

His own feelings are thus sketched on a loose leaf found among his papers since his death:

PROS. AND CONS. VOYAGE TO EUROPE.

"1. Have five or six months' time on my hands; how shall I best use it?

"2. My prime object now is and must be to regain my health. By what means am I most likely to do it?

"3. Have an intellectual, moral, religious and ministerial reputation to sustain. How shall I best promote real worth of character, and secure public confidence and the confidence of my friends?

"4. Have long had a strong desire to visit Europe sometime, though I have not expected or desired to do it at present. When can I do it best? Have now no business, no family, no parish.

"5. How shall I best dissipate my present morbid feelings, and produce a healthful state of sensibilities?

"6. My active energies are weakened and depressed. How shall I best revive them, and bring myself into a fit state for the active duties of life?

"7. Have been very long and for many years of a peculiar and diseased state of body and mind, have tried almost every remedy on a small scale. Ought I not now, if possible, to make some entirely new, bolder and more decisive experiment?

"These suggestions and inquiries thus far, rather bear in favor of going. So I think do the providences of God, and the involuntary tendencies of my own mind.

"But, 1. I shall not have so much time, and be able to travel so extensively, as I had hoped for, whenever I should visit Europe.

"2. I have not the established character which I would like to carry with me, nor those habits of efficient exertion, nor that acquaintance with men and places and things.

"3. I am not certain that this would be the best course for

mental and moral discipline, and best fit me for habitual, active labor and usefulness."

After much deliberation and prayer, the path of duty became, as he thought, plain. Accordingly, having committed the voyage to him who rules the winds and waves, and “can make us more or less comfortable at his pleasure," he set sail from New York, in company with Professor Stowe of Cincinnati, on board the packet ship Montreal, for London, June 8th, 1836.

With this devoted Christian scholar, with whom he had been a class-mate at the seminary, in Andover, he travelled through the season.

Mr. Stearns took pencil notes, each day, of all that was most interesting to his mind in England, Scotland and Germany.

In the autumn, after parting company with Mr. Stowe, who returned to America, he pursued the same practice of sketching daily, with the pen, and, his health increasing, wrote out many scenes of interest. Had he lived to revisit his native country, he would probably have prepared, from these abundant materials (sufficient in their present state for two moderate sized duodecimos), one or more volumes of travels. This may be a suitable place to mention, that, in a farewell letter written to his friends in America, a short time before his death, Mr. Stearns requested that his note books should never any form be given to the press. The reason is obvious. They are so crude,—so undesigned,-sketched, not written, generally in great weariness and pain, and merely to assist his memory." A few extracts, however, which seem to have been written with considerable fulness, and which help

in