to speak in this manner! Why, those foolish apprehensions might well enough become a poor ignorant peasant; but in a clever student of Alcala, they are unmanly and degrading. After all, what is it that is required?-a mere trifle-a snug little supper; and I marvel that Rebollo, who has such a genius for conjuring up of splendid dinners, should be scared at the idea of a moderate supper. Be easy, my good fellow, and consider that a turkey, a plate of sweetmeats, and a bottle of delicious fine-flavoured Valdepenas, will suffice."-" Ay, that I believe," returned Rebollo; " but where is the turkey to come from? I think it would be quite as easy to produce a roasted Turk, as a roasted turkey."-" The turkey I shall procure myself to that I pledge my word."-Rebollo shook his head incredulously, as he observed "I much doubt it; for I am concerned to see that the good people of Madrid are fast losing that evangelical and praiseworthy latitude in points of belief, which industrious gentlemen like us have found so agreeable and so profitable withal. The dull matter-of-fact rascals begin to lose all relish

for the charms of fiction; and they look amazingly gruff and sour at the very prospect of a student's most ingenious and excellent story."

"Leave the matter to me," interrupted the coufiding Faruila: "I have told you' that I shall provide the turkey, you must go and find out some good hosteria."

The friends accordingly separated. Farulla immediately directed his steps to the Plazuela de la Cebada, where his anxious eyes were soon overjoyed with the armies of turkeys presented to his view. Like a skilful and practised general, he carefully surveyed their forces before he commenced his operations. First, it was necessary to ascertain where stood the largest and fattest of the superb animals; and then it was indispensable to read, from the external evidence of the face, who was the greatest fool amongst the paberos or turkey-sellers. Farulla selected, for the object of his favours, a tall, shapeless, uncouth peasant, whom, before he opened his mouth, he could tell had never before been at Madrid. Farulla very charitably undertook to give the sad ignoramus a lesson in the admirable science of experience; the first and most beneficial in the whole range of human knowledge: it must be allowed that he was very moderate in his terms, when he contented himself with a single turkey as a remuneration.

Ah, my good fellow," said he, with a sort of listless indifference, " it seems that you have some good turkeys."

"Si Senor," answered the the pabero, "they are the best in the plazuela; and so the Holy Virgin and St. Joseph befriend me, if the King himself has a better one for his supper. Look, Senor, and choosethey are beauties!"-" So you all say, and then, heaven defend our teeth, for we find the said tender beauties as tough as leather. But you appear a sort of an honest man; the fact is, that my own pabero has played me false, and so I don't care if I take one of your turkeys just to try; if I like it, you may depend I shall procure you the custom of all my friends." The vender's eye glistened with booby joy, and he forthwith began to thank the generous student for his patronage. Farulla, who was excessively modest, as men of great merit generally are, cut short the fellow's compliments, and demanded the price of the largest turkey, which, with a lynx eye, he had selected out of the whole army. -" As I hope for salvation, Senor," cried the pabero, "I can take nothing less than a dollar for that turkey-it is the fattest in the whole crew."-" A dollar!" exclaimed the student, "that's rather dear."-" Oh no, Senor, quite the contrary; you get it very cheap, indeed I can swear that the turkey is given away."-"Well, I dare say you speak the truth; so, a dollar is your last price?"-" Yes, Sir, and I can assure you I shall get nothing for the turkey, it is worth double the money." "Let us say no more about it-the turkey is mine-so now to give you your money."

Saying this, the student performed the ceremony of thrusting his hand into his pocket; and then he was greatly surprised that the money was not there-and the pabero was greatly surprised too!-"Valgame dios! this is very provoking," exclaimed Farulla, "where the deuce have I left my purse? Well, my good fellow, I suppose I must give you back your turkey, my house is far hence, and no doubt you cannot afford to lose so much time in coming to fetch the money; it is really vexatious, but I must apply to my rascally pabero. Here, take back your article." Saying this, Farulla deliberately laid down the fat bird, which he had already enveloped under his sotana. The pabero did not much relish this oper

ation; for he had made sure of the dollar, which he now perceived was slipping out of his fingers. He stared with gaping mouth at the student, as if hoping the would find some means of solving the difficulty. Farulla, who knew his cue, preserved a most becoming gravity, and made a movement to depart.-" Stop, Senor Estudiante," cried the vender of turkeys," "is there no way to arrange matters? whereabouts is your house? perhaps a friendly pabero will take care of my stock whilst I accompany you thither."" Oh, my good man, that's quite out of the question; I have got business to attend, and probably I shall not return home before night. With regard to the turkey, I was going to leave it at my barber's, who lives close by, that he might send it to my house."--He paused for a moment, as if deliberating, then, with a sudden start of pleasure, he explained" By Santiago, a thought strikes me, which may serve us both. If you think proper, follow me to the bar ber, and he'll pay you."

The pabero's eyes glistened with satisfaction at the proposal, and signified his readiness to adopt it. Upon this, Farulla made his way towards one of the extremities of the plazuela, and stopped at the entrance of a miserable looking barber's shop.-"This is the place," he said to the pabero, "give me the turkey," and as he spoke, without further ceremony, he dexterously snatched the turkey from the vender's hands, and entered the shop, followed by the pabero. The tonsor was at this time assiduously engaged in inflicting martyrdom on the chin of a poor friar of the order of mendicants. The master of the house seemed an exception to the humorous tribe of Figaros; for he was a shrivelled, surly cur, with a great deal of ill nature in his looks. This might be partly owing to the unprofitable job in which he was then employed; for it is a practice amongst the fraternity of the razor, in Spain, to shave gratis poor friars who come and request the favour, "for the love of God." Farulla did not trouble himself concerning the cause of the barber's ungracious looks, but, accosting him freely, he desired him to step aside, for he had a few words to say in private. The shaver suspended for a moment his torturing functions, to wait on the new customer, whom he led into a little back room. The vender of turkeys saw nothing out of the way in all this, for the worshipful student might not like to ask a favour of his barber before strangers. He therefore resolved to wait patiently his return, and in the meantime, he amused himself in surveying the

half-shaved and terribly-sacrificed face of the luckless friar. The holy man seemed indeed in the most miserable predicament, and no doubt he very devoutly, and with true Christian resignation, underwent the shaver's atrocity as a penance for his sins. His eyes were almost closed by the combined effects of prayer and pain. Contemplating this picture, the humane pabero could not help giving scope to some very moral reflections. He, simple man, wondered what sort of conscience barbers in general must have, who always chose the most abominably dull razors, fetid soap, and turbid water, for the refreshment of those who came to pay them visits " for the love of God."

Whilst the pabero and the martyr friar are thus mentally occupied, let us turn to our friend the student and the unamiable shaver. - "Master barber," said Farulla, "this poor man is one of my father's tenants, a capital rider, and is come now to Madrid to obtain relief from the effects of excessive riding. I have been told that you are quite as clever in surgical skill, as in removing superfluous hair from the chin. He is suffering dreadfully from an attack of lumbago; and I shall feel obliged to you for a speedy remedy-perhaps cupping." "Seror," quoth the tonsor, throwing a little more suavity into his looks, "I shall do my best for your honoured father's tenant. Let me but finish with that friar, and I will immediately attend him."

Upon this, Farulla adroitły availed himself of a back door, which stood .conveniently half open, and made mer expeditious retreat, The barber returned to his operations on the friar's chin, which operafion, it is almost needless to add, was carried on, if possible, even in a more unmerciful manner than before. The barber was in a great hurry to wait upon his new patient, from whose cure he expected a more substantial recompense than the empty thanks he was to receive from the poor friar. Whilst the latter was writhing in torture, a cat began to mew most discordantly." What in the name of Satan," exclaimed the tonsor, "can be the matter with the cat?"-" I suppose,” replied the friar, in a doleful tone, "they are shaving him for the love of God."At length, the barber dismissed the suf ferer with a mental malediction.

"Now, my good man," he then said, turning to the pabero, in his turn, "let us see what I can do for you. Come to the back room."

The vender of turkeys obeyed readily, though he did not exactly perceive the necessity of so much ceremony in so simple an affair as that of paying a dollar.

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"My good man," proceeded the barber, your young master has acquainted me with the nature of your complaint. Ay, ay, my opinion was always decidedly dec against this excessive riding."

At this preamble, the pabero stared wonderfully. The shaver stared also, for the uncouth figure of his patient was not at all calculated to offer a favourable idea of his proficiency in the equestrian art. When they had both stared sufficiently, the pabero, rolling his eyes in in stupid amazement, cried out, -" Virgen de Atocha! what are you talking about, master barber? I don't understand a syllable of your speech."-" Well, well," quoth the barber, "let us make no more words about it, but come at once to the point." "That's what I have been wishing for this half hour," muttered the seller of turkeys.- "Very well, you may strip as soon as you please." "Strip!" exclaimed the astonished pabero. "In the name of the holy Santiago, what do you mean, master barber?" -Mean! good gracious!" returned the other, much surprised in his turn, "what should I mean? Why surely you don't imagine I can prescribe to you before I have examined the affected place. Does it pain you much? Does it prevent your sleeping at night?" Here was abundant matter to puzzle the poor pabero till doom's-day. For some time he could not collect his thoughts to afford an answer to the barber's extraordinary questions. But as he began to feel rather apprehensive respecting the promised dollar, he resolved to come to an immediate explanation-" Senor maestro," he said, calmly addressing the barber, " you must surely take me for some other man. So help me, Holy Virgin, if I can perceive any connection between the strange questions you are asking, and the object that brought me into your shop." " Nay, nay!" quoth the positive tonsor, with a knowing smile, accompanied with a shake of the head. "I know full well the particulars of the case, and my questions, strange though you may think them, are precisely those that would have been asked by the most approved practitioner at Madrid." -" Sir, I repeat," cried the pabero, losing his patience, "you must be mistaken, and if you take me for a sick man I must undeceive you. I am as sound and healthy as ever I was in my life."" No, no, no," returned the selfsatisfied barber doctor, "I can assure you that you are egregiously deceived concerning the state of health, and your healt it is great folly in you to dispute with professional man about the matter." He then added, in a magisterial tone," let

a

me tell you, my good friend, that a lumbago is not such a trifing thing. If neglected in the beginning, a gangrene may ensue, and the cure is then always difficult, and in many cases hopeless.""That may be," replied the turkey dealer, with a curious mixture of impatience and affected calmness, " and I don't mean to dispute your skill in surgery, which must needs be very great, if I am to judge from your expertness in the art of shaving a friar. But I don't see for what purpose you speak to me about a lumbago, or whatever you call it, of which I know nothing at all, nor care to know."

The reflective faculties of the barber were now called into action. The pertinacity of the pabero awoke in his mind strange misgivings, and he now, in his turn, was as anxious to arrive at an explanation, as his supposed patient had been before." Tell me, my honest fellow," he then inquired, are you not afflicted with a lumbago produced by excessive riding?" "Blessed be our lady!" roared out, in' amazement, the pabero, "by riding! I who have never but once in my life bestrode a horse, and that was a jackass, as quiet as a lamb, & no more likely to occasion a-what d'ye call it to the rider-than I am to become Archbishop of Toledo. Who, in the name of all the saints, has been telling you this fine story? Depend upon it, master barber, some wag has been imposing on your credulity."" The man," replied the barber, "who spoke to me about this lumbago, bore the appearance of a grave, sensible young man; he represented himself as the son of your master."

"And when did you see this pretended son of my master?" inquired the dealer. -"Why!" exclaimed the other, staring, "he came with you into the shop.""Blessed lady! that's the student, and no more my master's son, than I am the son of the Pope. I came here merely to be paid for my turkey, which I hope, master barber, you will do without any more palavering."-" Why, yes, I recollect, he had a turkey."-" Ay, ay, and a fine plump one it was. He purchased it for a dollar, which you are to give me."

It was now the turn of the chin operator to feel astounded, and to suppose the pabero fairly out of his wits. That he should be obliged to take a dollar out of his pocket, because a student had purchased a turkey, appeared to him a perfect non sequitur. The pabero showed in this instance a lamentable lack of logic; and it was a loss of time in a sapient man, who, like the master of the shop, knew how to shave, cup, blister, and bleed,

and who had, besides, studied Latin grammar, to exchange further words with such a complete ignoramus; he therefore began to whistle. and turn away from the foolish man. But the foolish man was in a great hurry to have his dollar, and was not to be defrauded of his due, by the whistling of any barber of Madrid.

"Come, come, my master," he said, laying hold of his arm, " none of your tricks, my money I must have, and that immediately, too, for I cannot be waiting here all day in this manner." " Fellow, do you come to insult me," exclaimed the barber in a rage, "pack out of the shop, presto! presto! or I'll get an alguacil to expedite your departure." "Get as many alguacils as you like," replied the stubborn pabero, in a resolute tone, "but from this shop I stir not until you have paid me my dollar."

Unfortunately, the uncontrollable laws of nature have caused, time immemorial, the greatest powers to be exhausted, the finest monuments to decay, the most furious storms to blow over, the most tremendous fires to be blown out. And so it now happened with the animated scene in the shop. Barbers and poulterers are not exempted from the above-mentioned laws of nature; and, accordingly, their strength was expended, and their powers of scolding rendered null by an indiscreet use of them. Then it was that the fit time for explanations came, and then it was also that alguacils busied themselves in investigating the merits of the case. After a minute and learned expose of all the particulars, and after hearing the necessary remarks, observations, comments, points of attack, and points of defence of both parties, it was agreed, nemine-contradicente, that the student (name unknown) had made free with the turkey, for which a pabero named Pero Ganso, was to have had a dollar, which dollar the said Pero Ganso was to go and require of the student, (name unknown. And secondly, that a barber surgeon, named Guitarillo, had been disappointed in torturing a fellow creature's back, that he had been momentarily overjoyed with the agreeable prospect of a lumbago, and that the enchanting delusion was now completely dissolved. This conclusion, however profound and just, was unsatisfactory, either to the man of razors, or to the man of turkeys. One deplored the loss of a turkey, the other that of a lumbago; but all their deploring was of no avail. A sharp alguacil then suggested the idea of the expediency of securing the nameless student, as the pri-. mary cause of the mischief, for he alone it was that had deprived one man of a promised dollar, and another of a promised

lumbago. To seek out the offender was next resolved upon; and this indeed was no trifling task; but the shrewd alguacil, who, like the learned barber, had been to school when he was a ragamuffin, now recollected that amongst his stock of Latin sentences, he had one which said, labor vincit omnia; and, emboldened by the promise made therein, he resolved to set at work both his legs and wits with the utmost expedition. Barber, pabero, and alguacil, with a few amateur attendants, now went and searched for the student;-a wild-goose chase, it must be allowed.

According to stage practice, I here sound a whistle-the scene changes and we find ourselves at once translated from the Plazuela de la Cebada to a snug, comfortable hosteria, or tavern, in another quarter of Madrid, sweeping away all those hours which intervene between noon and ten at night; and here we are, with the gay students and their friends, at a snug little supper.

"By the honours of my sotana," said Farulla, with much glee, this is a capital turkey; as capital almost as the talent with which it was extracted from that rogue of a pabero." "Ay," quoth Rebollo, after a copious potation, " you are a marvellous fellow, Farulla, in having thus, in the twinkling of an eye procured a customer for the pabero, a job for the barber, and a supper for us; but I am no despicable hand myself at this sort of game, witness the fruit and delicious wine, which I have obtained at as cheap a rate as you did the turkey." "Yes, by Santiago," exclaimed Farulla, "it is a great treat to sit down to a good supper at night, after the hardships and perils of the day. Fill my glass, Rebollo, let us drink to the honour and prosperity of Alcala." "Bless me," quoth Rebollo, gaily, "with such wine as this, I'll drink to the prosperity of any one, even of the grand Turk himself."

After this, glass followed glass, and with marvellons rapidity. The landlord, a fat, plump Boniface, found no fault with this assuidity. He had already calculated the degree or extortion he was to practice upon his guests; and he was himself every moment inviting them to continue their potations by des canting very fluently on the numberless good properties of his wines. The Valdepenas was so racy, the Xerez so pure, and the Malaga so genuine, that there was no resisting his temptations. Thus passed the time merrily away.

Supper Su ended, and the last bottle discussed, the most disagreeable part of

the business remained the ceremony of settling the bill. 'The bill was called for, and a precious bill it was too. Nevertheless, neither Farulla nor Rebollo discovered its exorbitance. On the contrary, they generously intimated to the landlord their conviction that he was a conscientious and reasonable man. Thus, every thing seemed mutually satisfactory, and the landlord, in due reverence of the money he was about to receive, put on a most placid smile, and made two or three of his very best bows. The students, in liberal return for the landlord's smiling bows, arrayed themselves in a sort of affable gravity and becoming condescension. Farulla next put his hand into his pocket to draw out what there was not. The landlord's eye glistened at the movement, his smile became more expansive, his bows more low and respectful. At this moment, Rebollo, following the example of his companion, also put his hand into his empty pocket, at the same time exclaiming" Gently, gently, Senor Farulla! this will never do; it is my turn to pay. Last night you paid the reckoning at the Hosteria del Angel, and I insist upon discharging the bill now."" Now, Rebollo," returned his companion, smiling benignantly, don't stand upon ceremony; between us, what signifies who pays; besides, I have not paid for our treats half so often as you allege."

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All this time, Boniface was admiring the disinterestedness of his friends, and rolling his eyes in wonder at the idea that men could be found, at Madrid, foolish enough to object to see their supper being paid for by another.

"No, by my hopes of becoming a Togado," exclaimed Rebollo, with redoubled animation, " I will not suffer you to have your own way this time; therefore make no more words about it, for I am determined."-" By Santiago," exclaimed Farulla, affecting warmth, "since you take it upon so high a tone, I swear you shall not pay the reckoning."

This tenacity of the two students was extremely perplexing to the landlord. He began to fear, that, by their excessive generosity, he ran a fair chance of not being paid at all." Good gentlemen," quoth he, in a most conciliatory manner, "let me persuade you to moderate a disinterestedness which makes me rather uneasy for the probable results of this scene. I think I can hit upon an expedient to solve the difficulty, and arrange matters to the satisfaction of all parties."" And what's your fine expedient?" inquired Farulla, with an incredulous shake of the