nothing to chill my affections towards thee, or enfeeble my attempts to serve thee. This year the Lord has been pleased to visit us with another trying dispensation, in the alarming illness of our youngest child. His precious life seems still to hang in doubt, though, blessed be God, appearances are more favourable than they were. Should life be continued, there seems reason to fear his lameness will be perpetual. However, he is in God's hand. To his disposal, I trust, I do commit him, with a full resignation of my will to His; with this wish only respecting him, that God would form him for himself, whether to serve and enjoy him in this world, or in another. If it please God to spare his life, and he should come forth from this visitation taught by the Spirit of God, called by Divine grace, and prepared to declare what God hath done for his soul, though, like Jacob, he halt upon his thigh, I shall sing of the mercy of God, and call upon my soul to notice every halting step as a signal of mercy bestowed. Oh! to have all my children joined to the Lord, and under the protection of his covenant promises! Blessed be God, I have this year a fresh song of praise, on account of the conversion of another of my dear children. O Lord! how shall I praise thee enough for mercies so great, so distinguishing, so often repeated! My soul exults in the thought of meeting all my dear children in my heavenly Father's house together, and praising God there D for them and with them. And I rejoice in the persuasion, that, when I am no more in this world, they will be under the fatherly care of HIM whose mercy is from generation to generation upon them that fear him, and his faithfulness unto children's children; that they will be praising God upon earth, while I am praising him in heaven. And now, Lord, what wait I for? Truly my soul waiteth upon thee. I wait especially to hear what thy providence and thy grace will speak respecting my afflicted child. O may my heart's desire be granted concerning him also, and may this little one be a chosen vessel, filled with thy grace, shewing forth thy love, on earth, or in heaven! To Thee I commend myself once more, as my Counsellor and my Guide. Another year opens before me: what events it will disclose, or whether I shall see the end of it, is known only to Thee. But, Lord, into thy hands I commend my body and spirit, my person and family, my spiritual and my temporal interests. Help me to improve every talent to thine honour, to serve Thee with singleness of heart! O to be made more instrumental in advancing thy glory, and gathering souls unto thee! And when I die, may it be with joy to follow Thee—Amen. 1795. Sept. 25.-This day will, I trust, be memorable to me while I have any being, for the experience I have had of the care of an indulgent Providence. per Riding on a common, my horse, though remarkably sure, came entirely down with me: I was thrown over his neck; and my foot being for some time in the stirrup, my situation was extremely perilous: but that God, whose blessed angels, as ministering spirits, have charge concerning the necessities of those who shall be heirs of salvation, and who is Himself a present help in time of need, caused the animal, after he had recovered himself, to stand fectly still until I had disengaged my foot.-I hope I saw, and gratefully acknowledged, the hand of God in this deliverance. As often as I visit that spot, or recollect that escape, may I with a thankful mind renew my Ebenezer, and say, Hitherto the Lord hath helped me! Why is my life thus graciously prolonged, but that I may be more diligent in the service of my God! May my time, and my every opportunity and ability of service, be more entirely devoted to His praise! On my return from a long journey in the West, I was stopped by a highwayman in Coombe Lane, and robbed of my watch and about four guineas. My horse's bridle and the girths of the saddle were cut through; but, blessed be God, no personal injury was done to me.-This is another instance of presérvation in the midst of danger. I would wish ever to reflect on it with gratitude. Lord! let me live while I live! Dec. 14.-This day I have completed my fiftieth year. What a wonder am I to myself! Little reason indeed had I to expect that my feeble lamp, which has ever burnt so dimly, and several times been just ready to expire, would have lasted out so long. How many, younger and stronger than I, have I seen drop into the grave before me; but, lo! I am spared! A kind Providence has guarded and preserved my life, and again and again recovered the flame when languishing. And why am I thus spared beyond all expectation? Surely it is, that the experience of the mercy of God, so frequently renewed, may provoke my gratitude and quicken my languid endeavours to serve and honour my Benefactor. Oh! to feel my heart more alive to God; habitually drawn forth in more ardent desires and efforts for the prosperity of his kingdom! O that, while my lamp continues to burn, my light may shine before men and the grace of God be abundant in me; that I may live not only comfortably, but usefully.--I hope I have reason to be thankful for times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord. The great things of God's Law, and of another world, have lately dwelt with more than usual weight upon my mind. Desires to serve God with my spirit have been awakened, and I have been enabled to address my people with peculiar affection and earnestness: and though, as to the appearance of the congregation, there is no increase in numbers; still, there are some pleasing circumstances, which en courage us to believe that God is with us of a truth. But, why is it that Christ and his Gospel are not more generally esteemed! Oh! for the more abundant out-pouring of the Spirit of Christ, to recommend that dear Redeemer to the souls of men! Then his Name will be precious, his Gospel precious, his ordinances precious, and all things will appear but loss in comparison with him! This year is my "Jubilee." May it be a year of release to my soul; release from the power of sin and the influence of this present evil world! May this year advance me to the fuller enjoyment of the inheritance of the saints! I long for a sweeter and more immediate sense of pardoning mercy, and the love of a covenant God! O may I this year feel more enlargement in his service; and with more zeal and affection, and with more manifest success, sound the Gospel trumpet, preaching deliverance to the captives! May the Spirit of the Lord God be upon me to this end! O that the Lord would anoint me with fresh oil!-God has in his providence this past year been opening our ears to instruction. He has visited me with another afflict ing bereavement. My youngest child, after a long illness, was in March removed by a fever. This second stroke was trying indeed! But, blessed be God, he did not withhold the supplies of his grace: I was led to deprecate deserved wrath, and to pray, Do not condemn me; shew me wherefore |