Enter Simple. How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, have you? Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir very well. Sten. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: it to Alice Shortcake, upon Allhallowmas last, a my cousin Shallow: [Exit Simple.] A justice o. fortnight afore Michaelmas? Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. a man:-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for A word with you, coz: marry, this, coz; there is, my mother be dead: but what though? yet I live as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by sir Hugh here;-do you understand ine? Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Sten. So I do, sir. Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capa city of it. like a poor gentleman born. they will not sit, till you come. Slen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. bruised my shin the other day with playing at Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: I veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my sword and dagger with a master of fence, three Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. his country, simple though I stand here. Eva. But that is not the question; the question town? is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands. Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth; therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid? Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of. Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? quarrel at it, as any man in England:-you are Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. seen Sackerson loose, twenty times; and have Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass'd:-but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? they are very ill-favoured rough things. Slen. I hope, sir,-I will do, as it shall become one that would do reason. Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. Shal. That you must: will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz; Can you love the maid? Re-enter Page. Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we stay for you. Ślen. I'll eat nothing; I thank you, sir. sir: come, come. Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Sten. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but not do you that wrong. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than trouble Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul' is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, according [Exeunt. SCENE II.-The same. Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple. to our meaning, resolutely; -his meaning is good. Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Re-enter Anne Page. Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne:-Would I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne! Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company. Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence (1) An intended blunder. mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his house, which is the way: and there dwells one nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer. Sim. Well, sir. Eva. Nay, it is petter yet: - give her this let tance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, ter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquain to desire and require her to solicit your master's I will make an end of my dinner: there's pippins desires to mistress Ann Page: I pray you, be gone; and cheese to come. [Exeunt. (3. The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Gar den, in Southwark. (4) Surpassed all expression. G 50 MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR. SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn. Enter gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and Fal. Mine host of the Garter, larly, and wisely. Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scho- arly, of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector ? Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with Fal. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Erit Host. Putation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to Rob.] bear you these let ters tightly; Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither- Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.ed serving-man, a fresh tapster: go; adieu. thrive. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will [Exit Bard. Pist. O base Gongarian1 wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time. Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: steal! foh; a fico for the phrase! Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Pist. Why then let kibes ensue. Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; And high and low beguile the rich and poor: Base Phrygian Turk! Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin, and her star Pist. With wit, or steel? With both the humours, I: Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold, How Falstaff, varlet vile, His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with dangerous: 9 Fal. No quips now, Pistol; ¡ indeed, I am in the yellowness, for the revolt of mien is waist two yards about: but I am now about no that is my true humour. waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: Ise[Exeunt. make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in cond thee; troop on. her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her fa- SCENE IV. A room in Dr. Caius' house. Enter miliar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's. Pist. He nath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her, Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and (1) For Hungarian. (2) Fig. (3) Gold coin. (4) Escheater, an officer in the Exchequer Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and Rugby. Quick. What: John Rugby!-I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit Rugby. Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. (7) Sixpence I'll have in pocket. Sim. Ay, forsooth. Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife? for my master, in the way of marriage. Sim. No forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain-coloured beard. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez me some paper: -Tarry you a little-a while. [writes. Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been his hands, as any is between this and his head: he thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so hath fought with a warrener.2 loud, and so melancholy; -but notwithstanding, Quick. How say you?-0, I should remember man, I'll do your master what good I can: and, him; does he not hold up his head, as it were? and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my strut in his gait ? Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. master,-I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what do all myself;— I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish Re-enter Rugby. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand. Quick. Are you advis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early, and down late;but notwithstanding (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it;) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's nei ther here nor there. Rugby! John, what, John, I say!-Go, John, go Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to sır inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat that he comes not home:-and down, down, in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape adown-a, &c. [Sings. priest to meddle or make:-you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have [Erit Simple. Enter Doctor Caius. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier terd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad to trow at his dog. a stone Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:-do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? -by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we must give folks leave to prate: What, the good-jer!4 he went not in himself; if he had found the young weapon:-by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. man, he would have been horn-mad. [Aside. Caias. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; depeche, quickly:-Vere is dat knave Rugby! Quick. What, John Rugby! John! Rug. Here, sir. Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long:-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublié? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?Villany! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier. Quick. Good master, be content. Caius, Verefore shall I be content-a? Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caus. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatic; hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson Hugh. Caius. Vell. pray you. Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to- (1) Brave. (2) The keeper of a warren. 3) Scolded, reprimanded. Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me;-by gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door: -Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho? Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you. Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne? honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit? Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a wart above your eye ? book, she loves you: -Have not your worship a Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ;-good faith, Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? (4) The goujere, what the pox! 52 MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR. it is such another Nan: -but, I detest, an honest show you to the contrary: O, mistress Page, give maid as ever broke bread: -We had an hour's talk of that wart; -I shall never laugh but in that maid's company. But, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing: but for youWell, go to. me some counsel ! Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour! Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour: what is it? dispense with trifles; -what Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an Quick. Will I? i'faith, that we will: and I will eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted. tell your worship more of the wart, the next time Mrs. Page. What?-thou liest ! - Sir Alice Ford! These knights will hack; and so thou we have confidence; and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry. [Exit. Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light-here, read, Quick. Farewell to your worship. Truly, an read; -perceive how I might be knighted.-I shall honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to I know Anne's mind as well as another does :- make difference of men's liking: and yet he would Ont upon't! what have I forgot? Fent Well, I shall see her to-day: hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my be- is it? half: if thou seest her before me, commend me ACT II. [Exit. not swear; praised women's modesty: and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words: but they do no more adhere and keep place together, than the hundredth psalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think the best SCENE I.-Before Page's house. Enter Mistress Page, with a letter. Mrs. Page. What! have I 'scaped love-letters way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did n the holy-day time of my beauty, and am I now [reads, you ever hear the like? Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name a subject for them? Let me see: Ask me no reason why I love you; for though of Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort love use reason for his precisian, he admits him in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin not for his counsellor: You are not young, no brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for, more am I; go to then, there's sympathy you I protest, mine never shall. I warrant, he bath a are merry, so am I; ha! ha ! then there's more thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for sympathy: you love sack, and so do 1; would different names (sure more,) and these are of the you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, second edition: he will print them out of doubt: mistress Page (at the least, if the love of a soldier for he cares not what he puts into the press, when can suffice,) that I love thee. I will not say, pity he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, me, 'tis not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, love and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you me. By me, Thine own true knight, John Falstaff. twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man. Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my What a Herod of Jewry is this !-O wicked, wicked world!-one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked (with the devil's name) out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my compa- on him: let's appoint him a meeting: give him a ny! What should I say to him?-I was then show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with frugal of my mirth: -heaven forgive me! Why, a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting to mine host of the Garter. down of men. How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings. Enter Mistress Ford. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house. Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary. Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. (1) She means, I protest. (2) Melancholy. (3) Most probably Shakspeare wrote Physician. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy. Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance. Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this [They retire. greasy knight: come hither. Enter Ford, Pistol, Page, and Nym. Ford. Well, hope, it be not so. (4) Caution. Ford. What name, sir? in his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his Ford. Were they his men ? Ford. I like it never the better for that. - Does he lie at the Garter? Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head. Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loth to turn them together: A man may be too Pist. The horn, I say: farewell. Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds do confident: I would have nothing lie on my head: I sing. Away, sir corporal Nym.- cannot be thus satisfied. Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Garter comes: there is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily.How now, mine host? Enter Host and Shallow. Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. [Exit Pistol. Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this. Nym. And this is true. [To Page.] I like not the humour of lying. He hath wrong'd me in some humours; I should have borne the humoured letter to her: but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife; there's the short and the long. My name is corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch. 'Tis true: -my name is Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow. -Good even Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife.-Adieu! I love and twenty, good master Page! Master Page, will not the humour of bread and cheese; and there's you go with us? we have sport in hand. the humour of it. Adieu. Host. How now, bully-rook? thou'rt a gentleman: cavalero-justice, I say. [Exit Nym. Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him, bully Page. The humour of it, quoth 'a! here's a fel- rook. low frights humour out of his wits. Ford. I will seek out Falstaff. Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between sir Hugh the Welsh priest, and Caius the French Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting doctor. rogue. Ford. If I do find it, well. Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest o' the town commended him for a true man. Ford. 'Twas a good sensible fellow: Well. Mrs. Page. Whither go you, George?-Hark you. Ford. Good mine host o' the Garter, a word with you. Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook? [They go aside. Shal. Will you [to Page] go with us to behold it? my merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and, I think, he hath appointed them contrary places: for, believe me, I hear, the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our Mrs. Ford. How now, sweet Frank? why art sport shall be. thou melancholv? Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my Ford. I melancholy! I am not melancholy.-guest-cavalier ? Get you home, go. Mrs. Ford. 'Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now. Will you go, mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George?-Look, who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger to this paltry knight. Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him, my name is Brook; only for a jest. Host. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook: It is a merry knight.-Will you go on, hearts? Shal. Have with you, mine host. Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier. Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more: In these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword, I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats. Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? Page. Have with you:-I had rather hear them scold than fight. [Exeunt Host, Shallow, and Page. Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so fırınly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily: She was in his company at Page's house; and, what they made there, I know not. Well, I will look further into't: and I have a Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told me? Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? Page. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the disguise to sound Falstaff: If I find her honest, I Enight would offer it: but these that accuse him lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed. [Exit. (1) A dog that misses his game. (2) A medley. (5) Stout, bold. (6) Did. |