V.

Socrates said, our only knowledge was
"To know that nothing could be known;
Science enough, which levels to an ass

a pleasant

Each man of wisdom, future, past, or present.
Newton (that proverb of the mind), alas!

Declared, with all his grand discoveries recent,
That he himself felt only "like a youth
Picking up shells by the great ocean-truth.”

VI.

Ecclesiastes said, that all is vanity

Most modern preachers say the same, or show it By their examples of true christianity;

In short, all know, or very soon may know it. And in this scene of all-confess'd inanity,

By saint, by sage, by preacher, and by poet, Must I restrain me, through the fear of strife, From holding up the nothingness of life?

VII.

Dogs, or men! (for I flatter you in saying
That ye are dogs-your betters far) ye may
Read, or read not, what I am now essaying
To show ye what ye are in every way.
As little as the moon stops for the baying

Of wolves, will the bright Muse withdraw one ray
From out her skies;-then howl your idle wrath!
While she still silvers o'er your gloomy path.

VIII.

Fierce loves and faithless wars"-I am not sure

If this be the right reading—'t is no matter;

The fact 's about the same, I am secure ;

I sing them both, and am about to batter

A town which did a famous siege endure,
And was beleaguer'd both by land and water
By Suvaroff, or anglicè Suwarow,

Who loved blood as an alderman loves marrow.

IX.

The fortress is call'd Ismail, and is placed
Upon the Danube's left branch and left bank,
With buildings in the oriental taste,

But still a fortress of the foremost rank;
Or was at least, unless 't is since defaced,

Which with your conquerors is a common prank : It stands some eighty versts from the high sea, And measures round of toises thousands three.

X.

Within the extent of this fortification

A borough is comprised, along the height
Upon the left, which, from its loftier station,
Commands the city, and upon its site
A Greek had raised around this elevation
A quantity of palisades upright,
So placed as to impede the fire of those
Who held the place, and to assist the foe's.

XI.

This circumstance may serve to give a notion
Of the high talents of this new Vauban :
But the town ditch below was deep as ocean,

The rampart higher than you 'd wish to hang :
But then there was a great want of precaution
(Prithee, excuse this engineering slang),
Nor work advanced, nor cover'd way was there,
To hint at least, "Here is no thoroughfare."

XII.

But a stone bastion, with a narrow gorge,

And walls as thick as most sculls born as yet;
Two batteries, cap-à-pié, as our Saint George,
Casemated one, and t' other "à barbette,"
Of Danube's bank took formidable charge;
While two-and-twenty cannon, duly set,
Rose o'er the town's right side, in bristling tier,
Forty feet high, upon a cavalier.

XIII.

But from the river the town's open quite,
Because the Turks could never be persuaded
A Russian vessel e'er would heave in sight;
And such their creed was till they were invaded,
When it grew rather late to set things right.

But as the Danube could not well be waded,
They look'd upon the Muscovite flotilla,
And only shouted, "Alla!" and "Bis Millah!"

XIV.

The Russians now were ready to attack;

But oh, ye goddesses of war and glory! How shall I spell the name of each Cossack Who were immortal, could one tell their story? Alas! what to their memory can lack?

Achilles' self was not more grim and gory Than thousands of this new and polish'd nation, Whose names want nothing but-pronunciation.

XV.

Still I'll record a few, if but to increase

Our euphony-there was Strongenoff, and Strokonoff, Meknop, Serge Lwdw, Arseniew of modern Greece,

And Tschitsshakoff, and Roguenoff, and Chokenoff, And others of twelve consonants a piece :

And more might be found out, if I could poke enough Into gazettes; but fame (capricious strumpet!)

It seems has got an ear as well as trumpet,

XVI.

And cannot tune those discords of narration,
Which may be names at Moscow, into rhyme.
Yet there were several worth commemoration,
As e'er was virgin of a nuptial chime;
Soft words too, fitted for the peroration
Of Londonderry, drawling against time,

Ending in "ischskin,” “ousckin," "iffskchy," "ouski,"
Of whom we can insert but Rousamouski,

XVII.

Scherematoff and Chrematoff, Koklophti,

Koclobski, Kourakin, and Mouskin Pouskin : All proper men of weapons, as e'er scoff'd high Against a foe, or ran a sabre through skin; Little cared they for Mahomet or mufti,

Unless to make their kettle-drums a new skin Out of their hides, if parchment had grown dear, And no more handy substitute been near.

XVIII.

Then there were foreigners of much renown,
Of various nations, and all volunteers;
Not fighting for their country or its crown,
But wishing to be one day brigadiers;

Also to have the sacking of a town—

A pleasant thing to young men at their years. 'Mongst them were several Englishmen of pith, Sixteen call'd Thompson, and nineteen named Smith.

XIX.

Jack Thompson and Bill Thompson ;-all the rest
Had been call'd "Jemmy," after the great bard;
I don't know whether they had arms or crest,
But such a godfather 's as good a card.
Three of the Smiths were Peters; but the best

Amongst them all, hard blows to inflict or ward,
Was he, since so renown'd "in country quarters
At Halifax;" but now he served the Tartars.

XX.

The rest were Jacks and Gills, and Wills and Bills;
But when I've added that the elder Jack Smith
Was born in Cumberland among the hills,

And that his father was an honest blacksmith,

I've said all I know of a name that fills

Three lines of the dispatch in taking "Schmacksmith," A village of Moldavia's waste, wherein

He fell, immortal in a bulletin.

XXI.

I wonder (although Mars no doubt 's a god I
Praise) if a man's name in a bulletin

May make up for a bullet in his body?
I hope this little question is no sin,

Because, though I am but a simple noddy,

I think one Shakspeare put the same thought in The mouth of some one in his plays so doating, Which many people pass for wits by quoting.

XXII.

Then there were Frenchmen, gallant, young, and gay :
But I'm too great a patriot to record
Their Gallic names upon a glorious day;

I'd rather tell ten lies than say a word
Of truth;-such truths are treason: they betray
Their country, and as traitors are abhorr'd,
Who name the French in English, save to show
How peace should make John Bull the Frenchman's foe.

XXIII.

The Russians, having built two batteries on
An isle near Ismail, had two ends in view :
The first was to bombard it, and knock down

The public buildings, and the private too,
No matter what poor souls might be undone.

The city's shape suggested this, 't is true; Form'd like an amphitheatre, each dwelling Presented a fine mark to throw a shell in.

XXIV.

The second object was to profit by

The moment of the general consternation,
To attack the Turk's flotilla, which lay nigh,
Extremely tranquil, anchor'd at its station :
But a third motive was as probably

To frighten them into capitulation :
A phantasy which sometimes seizes warriors,
Unless they are game as bull-dogs and fox-terriers.

XXV.

A habit rather blameable, which is
That of despising those we combat with,
Common in many cases, was in this

The cause of killing Tchitchitzkoff and Smith;
One of the valorous "Smiths" whom we shall miss

Out of those nineteen who late rhymed to pith; But 't is a name so spread o'er "Sir" and "Madam," That one would think the FIRST who bore it "ADAM."

XXVI.

The Russian batteries were incomplete,

Because they were constructed in a hurry.

Thus the same cause which makes a verse want feet,

And throws a cloud o'er Longman and John Murray,

When the sale of new books is not so fleet

As they who print them think is necessary,

May likewise put off for a time what story

Sometimes calls "murder," and at others "glory."

XXVII.

Whether it was their engineers' stupidity,

Their haste, or waste, I neither know nor care,
Or some contractor's personal cupidity,
Saving his soul by cheating in the ware
Of homicide; but there was no solidity
In the new batteries erected there;
They either miss'd, or they were never miss'd,
And added greatly to the missing list.

XXVIII.

A sad miscalculation about distance

Made all their naval matters incorrect; Three fire-ships lost their amiable existence Before they reach'd a spot to take effect; The match was lit too soon, and no assistance Could remedy this lubberly defect;

They blew up in the middle of the river,

While, though 't was dawn, the Turks slept fast as ever.

XXIX.

At seven they rose, however, and survey'd
The Russ flotilla getting under way;
'T was nine, when still advancing undismay'd,
Within a cable's length their vessels lay
Off Ismail, and commenced a cannonade,
Which was return'd with interest, I may say,

And by a fire of musketry and grape,
And shells and shot of every size and shape.