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Brief space remains for parting bitterness ; when the monarch of cockaigne admires Requests prolong'd, vain comfort ; and the
the country, denounces them as a cold. last Hard trial, when a mother's fond lips press
hearted worldings” for preferring the The cheek her tears have moisten d---then light of a candle to Luna's torch, or the the vast
smoke of tobacco to the odour of a dung Convulsive throb, which marks her deep dis- heap. They who study botany on their
tress, “ Makes cowards of us all." This anguish leads, or rusticate at Camberwell, conpast,
sider a public-house as the seat of vice Jarvis soon starts, winks knowingly at cook,
and ignorance; whilst they who have And spoils a school-boy's last and dearest look.
never been inside one in their lives, would Prospect House Academy, Feb. 2, 1824. represent it as a little hell, whose unfor
tunate visitants are tempted by Satan Tye Sketch Book.
himself, in the character of a landlord,
assisted by his imps, in the shape of pots, No. XVIII.
pipes, punch-bowls, and tumblers.
Do not believe them, reader; it is not
that scene of ignorance and folly which THE PUBLIC HOUSE. they represent it to be. I have often met It has been well observed by Irving, with inore acuteness from a portly-lookthat there is scarcely a trace remaining of ing personage, merry England. The sports and pastimes,
“Full of flesh, and full of grace, which served by anticipation to lighten With a fine, round, unmeaning face," the toils of months, are given up as a waste of time. The observance of holi- than even when in the company of an endays and bonfire-nights exist no longer, lightened youth, who “pens a stanza save in the declarations of our fathers. when he should engross;" and discovered The rage for refinement is spreading much knowledge, both of the world and wide, and undermining the ancient insti- books, concealed behind a pipe and a cool tutions of the country.
The dance of tankard. Many a time have I been deOberon and his fairies has given way to cidedly
posed in an argument by a little the inventions of witches or devils ;* and
man with a round, red face, and his a love-sick youth is deprived for ever of words coming out slowly, with a whiff the chance of a kiss at forfeits. The between each sentence; and often been place which gave an hour's importance to
cut to the heart, after delivering an opithe poor man's heart, the gay resort of nion with an air of superior wisdom, at old Jack Falstaff, or the mercer of Abing. finding it refuted by an unwashed artificer. don, and that prince of bullies, Michael
These, however, are splendid excepLambourne, has degenerated into a gin. tions; the generality, I must confess, are shop, with some few exceptions, which rather low. They have no idea of a quamust be sought for, far from the purlieus drille party, and consider waltzing "not of fashion. But even those are hastening quite the thing.. In spite of Lord Chesto decay; their enemies have united to
terfield's interdiction, they will quote destroy them, and the death-blow is al. proverbs, make unfashionable remarks ready given. The decree of fashion has about the bachelor's piece, or snufting out gone forth, and boarding-school misses the candle, and indulge in such double have pronounced them vulgar. They entendres as would bring the colour into have also foes of a graver ‘kind, who the cheeks of many a sentimental lady would gladly reason us out of happiness. who had eloped from her lord and master. The clergy accuse them of encouraging of the higher order of works of genius blasphemy, by keeping men from church; they have no more conception than Sir and the politician of increasing corrup
Billy but are content with powers tion, by increasing the revenue; whilst of a very limited description. Alderman the doctor attributes to them all the evils Wood, in their opinion, rivals Aristides ; attendant on humanity, and warns man
and Sergeant Denman is a second Cicero. kind from swallowing poison in the shape They consider the Old Times to be a of Barclay's beer, or Booth's blue ruin: perfect oracle ; and that Hazlitt is the —its name, alas ! how typical of its cleverest fellow alive. What a lesson to
those who are toiling for fame ! It It has yet other enemies :—the enthu. speaks plainer than Scipio's dream. siast, who worships nature on Primrose
Nor are the accusations of vicious hill, wonders how beings with erect faces society entirely without foundation. Few can confine themselves to a smoky room,
imitate the hermit in his beverage, or disLa volta (the modern waltz), was supposed from the spring. Their charge of tip
cover an extraordinary partiality to water to have been invented by the Devil, and danced by him and the witches at their annual meetings. pling (how pretty they speak !) is not
entirely false. Some drink themselves remarkably high bank, and decorated into good spirits, and are figuratively and with numerous Hindoo pagodas and literally happy; whilst others become bathing ghauts, of the most exquisite penitent in their cups, and keep up a workmanship. It is truly astonishing to confessional hiccup till they fall asleep. examine the architecture, and particularly Many get drowsy, and some disputative. of one temple, in which the correctness of My little friends who is one of the design, and the truly beautiful execution most rational disputants when sober, no are far superior to every thing of the kind sooner becomes a little fres than he gets any of the party ever witnessed in India. violent and obstreperous, making up in The architect was sent for, and appeared noise what he wants in argument;
whilst a venerable old man of the common cast at every pause” he applies with increased of Rajs (masons); he was made one of vigour to his glass, till he gradually sub- the happiest men living by old Bas Mul sides into dumb forgetfulness, and re- Dadda, the Governor of Meheasir's presigns the victory to his adversaries from senting him at our request (in public want of power to dispute longer. Yet durbær) with a rich turban, cloth and this is not without its advantages. It is shawl.' I do not recollect ever to have a sort of Spartan school upon an improved seen a picture of more exquisite delight principle, where freemen get drunk for than was pourtrayed in the poor fellow's the benefit of the comm mmunity, in order to
countenance, on receiving this public exhibit the odiousness of the vice to those mark of (to him) the highest public who choose to profit by it. For my own honour that could be bestowed, acknow. part, without any consideration of instruc- ledging in the midst of his fellow-citizens tion, I love to behold a drunken man, as the merit which fifty years of labour had a species of show. He has such a look at last procured him. His old eyes glisof superior wisdom lurking about his tened with pleasure ; his bent figure beeyes, he accompanies every word with a came erect, and every nerve appeared to wink, as much as to say,
" mark it.” tremble with sensations of the purest When he disputes, it is the very perfec- delight. Old Bas Mull Dadda, who is tion of argument : answer him as you of his own age nearly, and a man of the please, he repeats steadily what he said highest rank in this part of the country, at first, and is like a radical reformer, himself bound on his turban. The most never confuted—in his own opinion. No- extraordinary fact relating to this aged thing either seems to trouble him : he is architect, however, is, that in all the beauthe true vanquisher of external sorrow, tiful buildings he erected, he never drew and " leaves dull earth behind him.” a plan for any one of the many he erected, “ Kings may be blest, but he is glorious, though the most admirable mathematical O'er a' the ills of life victorious.
precision prevails throughout the whole. Who that has ever spent his Saturday
The island of Uooncan Mandata is night in my friend M- -'s, or any other about five miles in circumference. The public-house parlour, can forget it? Do northern side of it has been fortified ; one not the peals of laughter, and the sounds wall near the top is all that now remains, of harmony, harshened into discord, still of which the greater part has shared the come upon his ear ? Does he not still fate of the rest, being mostly in ruins. see the sot, mistrustless of his smutted The sacrifice rock is situated in the N.E. face, endeavouring to preserve his perpen
corner of the island ; it is about seventy dicular, and balancing himself like a feet perpendicular height; at the bottom mountebank on a rope ? Does not the is a stone besmeared with red paint, on taste of his tempting beverage still linger which they say Maha Deo precipitated on his palate ? and does he not again himself when he disappeared from the enjoy that luxurious doze between sleep- world. Numbers of infatuated victims ing and waking, when the morn's myste- yearly precipitate themselves from this rious visions bring with them nothing to
rock at the annual fair, which takes place break upon his slumber but the bells in November. Last year there were only going for a neighbouring church, and two instances : one an old man of sixtygiving him just enough of sensation to five years of age, potail of a neighbouring enjoy the luxury of being !
village, who, in spite of all that could be
said to dissuade him, persisted in his deSPIRIT OF THE
termination of sacrificing himself. He
sat down and ate his dinner with his rePublic Journals.
lations, appeared to enjoy himself at his HINDOO ARCHITECT AND
meal, and at three o'clock, having bathed
and attired himself afresh, he advanced TEMPLE OF UOONCAN.
with the utmost coolness to the edge of NEAR Uooncan, in India, is fort Melea- the rock, sprung off, and in a moment sir. It is an extensive place, built on a was dashed to pieces. The other, after
going through the same ceremonies, fol. one of the most intelligent natives I have lowed his exainple. The temple, the met with : he actually paid one of these natives say, has existed since the creation drones twenty rupees a month to perform of the world ; it has, however, a modern certain ceremonies for him at Voorcan, appearance, which they ascribe to the fol. which I dare say after all were not perlowing circumstance :
formed. I was much surprised when he About 150 years ago, a king of Man- told me of it, for I had formed a much doo came to Uooncan with the intention higher opinion of his understanding. of destroying all the temples and holy
Calcutta Journal. places about the island ; he proceeded in his impious design, and ruined all the
SNEEZING. minor places of worship: but on his approaching the grand temple, he was struck In the days of yore sneezing was ominous, blind, which he attributed to the anger and much more. It was also the All. of the god, and desisted. In the hopes hail ; probably, because the vocal nose of recovering sight, he made the Bramins stood in lieu of a trumpet or a horn, magnificent presents; ordered the temple horns and trumpets was invented.” If to be enlarged and ornamented, and re- St. Kilda sneezes now on the arrival of a þuilt all the places he had destroyed. stranger, it is because Egypt and Greece Maha Deo, they say, signified his inten- did the same before ; and if you ask me tion (previous to his leaving the world) what Egypt and Greece have to do with of taking up his continual residence be- St. Kilda, I must tell you some other day, neath the temple of Uooncan; and on as it would make rather too long a note, the right hand as you enter they shew and as notes are not the fashion in your you a small square recess, communicating fashionable journal. The Greek and with a subterranean passage, in which Roman poets say of a beauty, that the the foolish pilgrims deposit their offerings Loves and Graces sneczed a welcome at for the sleek and idle Bramins to pocket. her birth. Therefore, St. Kilda sneezes This passage, according to their traditions, a welcome on a stranger's arrival; or communicates with the cave at Allahabad, imagines it, which is the same thing. and reaches to Benares and Hurdwar. The opinion remains when the practice is The pilgrims generally come to Uooncan forgotten, just as he who falls asleep on previous to proceeding to Hurdwar. On its highest mountain awakes a poet, bethe north face of the island is a cave, cause Hesiod did the same before on Parcalled the cave of echo, which has cer- nassus; or because but I must not quote tainly the greatest power in echoing the Latin ; and, therefore, the learned may slightest noise I ever heard. When you consult the first Satire of Persius. The speak low, your words are echoed in a other learned, who do not care for Per. loud voice; and if you fire a pistol, it sius, may consult Scoockius or Strada, or sounds like the firing of a battery of the Dissertation of Mons. Morin, if they twenty-four pounders. There is nothing wish to be still more learned in the matter more in the island worthy of notice,
ex- of sneezing. But lest they should not cept the barefaced falsehood of the Bra- like that trouble, I must even drain a mins, which is beyond any thing I ever few drops of ink on the subject, as neither neard (even from natives). One of them, Strada nor Scoockius is just now any whom I got hold of to point out the curi- nxore within my reach than theirs. As osities of the island, on my asking him to Clement of Alexandria, I shall pass what went on at the fair, had the impu- him by, as he knew nothing about the dence to tell me, they had horse-races matter. He talks like an apothecary on and elephant and tiger fights ; now a the subject; and when did ever any aponorse could not move on any part of the thecary talk to any purpose ? The Greeks „sland, except what I rode over (and that and Romans thought better of this busiwas at the imminent danger of breaking ness; and more like the philosophers, my own and horse's neck). An elephant which they have always shown themgetting to the place is entirely out of the selves. Salve, said the the old Roman question, unless he dropped from the to his sneezing neighbour ; Znot, said the clouds. I asked him in what part of the Greek. Because sneezing was dangerous, island these sports took place : the only says the apothecary. Point du tout ; it answer he could give me was, that he could not show it, but that he saw them nutamentis salutamur,” says Pliny; it
was the excuse for a compliment. “Sterthere every fair for the last forty years. is a duty in well-bred society. The EmThe influence the Bramins have over the peror Tiberius insisted on this complimost sensible natives is most astonishing. ment from all his courtiers, even on a I had an opportunity of observing an in- journey, and in the country: which is a stance in Suroop Tewarie, my subadar, proof that it was a court etiquette, dis
densed with on occasions of familiar in vigour. The brain expels offensive or ercourse. As we must not read Apuleius superfluous ideas through the nose, says or Petronius, it is sufficient to say, that he. It were to be desired that this were In the latter, Eumolpus " salvere Gitona the usage still; as now-a-days they are ubet,” as Monsieur Giton happened to apt to find vent through the mouth, to sneeze under the bed ; and that, in the the vast annoyance of liege subjects. And, former, a similar compliment is paid to therefore, we salute the brain when it the baker's wife in a parallel case of sneezes its energetic tokens of evacuated malapropos. So much for compliments. folly and incumbrance. Enough of the But the compliment is borrowed from the Aristotelian philosophy; and as to what omen, says Clement of Alexandria. He Polydore Virgil says, it is as little to the nas borrowed, himself, from the Rabbins. purpose as the predication of Clement of It was an omen of death, say the Rab- Alexandria. bins, from the creation. Jacob prayed If they make sneezing a state concern that it might be altered. It was altered ; in Monomotapa and Tartary, so they do and hence the custom of saying Tobim also in Mesopotamia (or did), and in Chaüm, Long life, when a man sneezed. Siam. When the latter potentate sneezed, You may consult Buxtorf if you want a general rejoicing took place in all that the Hebrew characters for Tobim Chaüm. triangle which intervenes between the As to what Mr. Charles Sigonius says, Euphrates and the Tigris ; so that the that this compliment originated in the whole nation was in a perpetual uproar time of Pope Gregory, in consequence of whenever his Majesty chanced to have a a mortal pestilence attended by sneezing, cold. Hence it was not allowed to take it only proves that he had never read his snuff, lest the whole business of the state classics, and was equally unlearned in should fall into disorder. In that district Rabbinical knowledge. This story has of Pluto's dominions, which is set apart been told by all the old women, and is for the Siamese, the judge keeps a ledger told still, because it was very variously of his prospective subjects. Occasionally related in the Gentleman's Magazine some he consults his tablets, impatient for the years ago. Let us hope that the New arrival of the next comer; and thus on Monthly will put the old women right. whosesoever name he fixes his fiery eye, Pope Gregory lived in 750 ; and Jacob the fated individual's nose responds in -all the world knows how long before sympathetic sneeze. Hence it is, that that he lived.
the men of Siam bless each other from To return to our compliments. When the foul fiend, whose influence is marked the Emperor of Monomotapa sneezes, the in impending omens on the echoing nose, whole city is in an uproar. As he did -New Monthly Magazine. not borrow from Pope Gregory, I suppose we must go back to Jacob at least for the
PUNNING. origin of this outcry. Doubtless, our friends of St. Kilda have it from the same
(For the Mirror.) source: because Jacob's stone was brought
“ He ne'er could ope his muns, from the plains of Luz to Spain, thence
But out would pop a brace of puns." to Ireland, whence it was transferred by This sort of wit, however light and fri. Fergus I. to Dunstaffnage, whence Ken. volous some thinking people imagine it, neth carried it to Scone, to be forcibly has, nevertheless, been frequently used adduced by Edward to Westminster by the gravest of mankind. It requires, Abbey, where it may now be seen for one however, like irony, to be handled dexa shilling and ninepence thanks to the terously: a bungler at this weapon is liberality of the Church !
generally laughed at, and becomes conBut when the Lama sneezes, then, in- temptible in the opinion of his hearers
; deed, all Asia feels it to her utmost verge but when it is at once delicately and and limit: the sound travelling from pointedly aimed, it never fails to entertain nose to nose till it is reverberated from good society. That leviathan, Dr. Johnthe great wall of China. The French son, is said to have affirmed, that a man consider it boisterous to say “ God bless who could make a pun, would pick a you” on these occasions ; so much does pocket; but the Doctor has proved him. France differ from Tartary. It is only self a filch by his own practice, and has permitted, in the Code de Politesse, to incurred, like all other punsters, the pull off your hat and make a silent bow. eternal punishment which that quick.
Aristotle, heaven bless him, is rather sighted poet, Dean Swift, describes in dulļ on this point, considering that he his “ Art of Punning.” Lords, Miniswas a natural philosopher, and somewhat ters, and Commons, Barbers and Law..
Sneezing, saith the Stagyrite, yer's-clerks, Man-Milliners, Dustmen, proceeds from the brain, and is a nark of and Nightmen, (dulces homines, as Lingo
would say,) now wanton with the leading one in a terri-ble fry! On passing å strings of punning. I cannot agree with river, he said, he had divers notions of a certain publication, that punning is a throwing himself in, because the Bank nuisance : it shews the invention of the was to issue no more paper currency. mind, and always pleases when not offen. He hears reports, that a house which was sively personal, or contemptibly weak and pulled down and rebuilt, was haunted ; unperceived. Nevertheless, Mr. Editor, but remarks, that it was only a story if you think the following jokes of a raised. He says, that a man that will punster (now defunct !) will either add to fish all day, ought to have a rod for purthe glory of punning, or expose its fal- suing such a line of conduct: so says lacy, they are at your service.
Theodore Hook ! When he goes skaitHe observes of a young lady who ing, he says, he commences on fundaeloped with a feather merchant, that she mental principles and it is but justice took wing to Gretna Green. He is con- for him to crack his jokes there. On tinually stunning one's ears with one seeing a lady who wore a cap called the Rapin who invented knockers. On look- late queen's cap, he remarked, it must ing into a Mirror, he makes many wise be a mob cap. He talks of his friend reflections, and frames his own jokes the cheesemonger being a mighty fine upon it. And on seeing a man who went sort of man, and when he is solus, he up with Mr. Green in his balloon, fall says, he is always so-lo (w). He says, down, he pronounced him a descendant Mr. Rayner will be a Reigner at the of that famous Aeronaut. On a man English Opera. Miss Wood, of the whose feet smelt, (not of the rose) he Haymarket, has been long used to the called it a fetid smell. And on striking boards, and has played a good deal ; but a boy on the head with the handle of an observes, that no one dared ever yet to umbrella, till he cried out, he would ex- touch Wood. Mr. Liston once complained claim, that he hit him to some tune-to to the Manager of Drury Lane: some one a tune of Handel. On a tree, he begins said, go to El-liston, and he will listen with-let us branch off into some suh. to you. He says, that Miss Tree ought ject_hav'n't you got sap enough already to be called a palm tree from the applause -I beg leave to dissent, &c. and boughs she gets : and that Miss Dance has taken with deference to your opinion, and stalks a trip to Bath. That Miss Chester is at away, because he cannot stem your elo- Manchester. That Miss Love has a great quence : all these are common enough, deal of cupid-ity. And that Mrs. Chatterand such as any young puppy of a pun- ley knows she has a tongue. A man told nikin might bark at. Of a person who him once that he was no pun ster, on made a bad cure of an eye, he said he which, he could not stir à pun ! He ought to be lash'd through the world, or blows, he told him, the flies : and says Old thrown down the cataracts of Niagara, Maids are verging (read virgin) on the vale for being such a sorry pupil of his master. of life. He talks of his friend the fiddler And pulling his pocket handkerchief out, keeping the even tenor of his way, that he he
says, he hankers chiefly after such and Wares well, although he is bow'd down such things. On seeing a man before a with age. He talks of George the Third, looking glass, tie his neckcloth well, he Wilks, Wat Tyler, and darned stockings, exclaimed vel you tie in speculum! Some in one breath, because they are men ded! old hair bottomed chairs put him in mind And says the best language for punning is of a poem of Lord Byron's, because they the Punic. With him a strong man is a were coarse hair. He would rather let Musselman. And he calls a flower pot all foreign loans alone, particularly those an Elector of Middlesex, because it is a of Holland, because he would get Neither Land holder. Says, our immortal Sheri. Lands nor money for his loan, though dan was too fond of wine : it was by his his credulity might get a Polish. He wit he got his bread, though Mr. Whit. says he had stout notions of marrying a bread often proved crusty and opposed brewer's daughter, but her father was him. “ Facilis decensus Averni” says he, against the match, so they thought of to a friend who slipped down the stairs of hopping off to the north. Then he has a modern Hell, in Pall Mall. He will seen lovers under a cypress tree. He tell you of a Bear he once saw Brewing! talks of his friend, Mr. Eel, who lives in Shakspeare's Commentators are common Skinner's Street. He asks Lucy for a 'tatoes. He deplores the catastrophe of light, and says he is in lux via (luck's the man who was assaulted by a donkey, way!) from thence he would infer Luci. and says all flesh is grass, and a great FER! On seeing a church, he says, he deal of it scurvy grass. He has seen coalhas very aspiring ideas, for he should heavers laugh till they were black in the like to be the chancellor of England: face. And when he sees Draymen lower such jokes deserve a halter, for they put ing beer in a public-house cellar, he says,