CHAPTER XIV.

ALTHOUGH religion, or rather the hankering and thirsting after it, in many places and among most denominations of Christians is languishing, yet I think, in all meekness and humility, and, notwithstanding my waywardness, through the mercy of God I have constantly grown in grace and in the knowledge of God: every month and year has been found better than its predecessor, and my faith has never been stronger nor my prospect brighter for the promised land than at present, while dictating this little narrative. Says the apostle, "When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things." As earthly parents pass over many imperfections and follies in the little child which they would by no means tolerate in one of mature age and judgment, so my Heavenly Father has borne with numerous of my imperfections and blessed me abundantly, which he would not by any means do now that I have received more light and knowledge. When I entered into the spiritual kingdom I carried with me, like Peter, many errors and prejudices of earlier life, which I have reason to thank God are now far removed through the instrumentality of holy preaching which was confirmed by the word of revelation.

While doing the work of the Gentiles I occasionally heard enforced the doctrine of perfect love, Christian perfection, entire sanctification, and holiness of heart. These were rather chimerical and extravagant doctrines to me, and I ventured to chime with others in ridiculing such ideas; with all my cherished respect for religion I did not believe that such a state of grace was attainable by mortals in this world. I therefore, for the first year after my conversion, like too many professors of religion, instead of trying how holy and how close with God it was possible for me to walk, it was probably a question in my mind how much sin the Lord would countenance in his professed disciples. I was decidedly a latitudinarian in my construction of the requirements of Scripture. Now, if a man has not faith to believe a certain object attainable, he will be very unlikely to put forth an adequate effort to possess it. But God has promised to make darkness light before us, and crooked things staight; and, blessed be his holy name, he has thus far on my pilgrimage redeemed his promises to the spirit and letter--yea, far exceeding my expectation.

I had now been coasting for about a year along the shores of justification, amidst rocks and sandbars. I had no desire to bury my talent in the earth, neither did I feel it indispensably necessary to put it out to usury, supposing, rather, that the Lord would be satisfied if I should return to him when he came to reckon with me the talent he had

bestowed. But in his abundant mercy he winked at this ignorance, until I was taught that there were better, higher, nobler attainments in my spiritual career which I might secure. About this time, while sitting under the droppings of the sanctuary, the doctrine of holiness of heart and entire sanctification was preached by one of God's holy ambassadors, by means of which the Holy Ghost awakened the sleeping energies of my soul to the all-important subject. I followed the preacher to his lodgings to give him battle on that subject. I brought forward as many arguments as I could think of against him in order to bring out the whole truth in support of the doctrine, which he successfully maintained by the word of God. There also appeared about that time an article in the Christian Advocate on the subject of holiness, well fortified by Scripture. It was read to me one afternoon at the house of brother Keagy, while on an afternoon visit in company with several of our sisters in the Lord; among the number were two old mothers in Israel-mother Cornman and mother Culbertsonwho were then able to unite their testimony with the beloved disciples that "in Him there is no darkness at all," and that it is our privilege to “walk in the light as He is in the light, and have fellowship one with another," and that "the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth from all sin." I now fully resolved to "leave the things that are behind and press forward to the mark for the prize of our high

calling of God in Christ Jesus," and to "leave the first principles of the doctrine of Christ and go on to perfection," as Christ has bidden all his followers; and, before breaking up our party, we knelt at the throne of grace in humble prayer for the blessing of perfect love to God, and for Scriptural holiness; and that was the time and place that I began to apply the oars of prayer and faith to launch my little bark from the shores of justification into the deep waters of the ocean of love.

CHAPTER XV.

It was now in the summer of 1844. Some of my brethren had at different times asked me if I thought I had not a call to exhort. I was quite astonished at such an idea, and looked upon it as presumptuous in them to suggest or think of such a thing, for I was sensible not only of my physical blindness, but of my ignorance of the Scriptures; in addition to that I was very poor, and felt unable to hire any one to read to me, knowing at the same time that it would require nearly or quite all of my wife's time to take care of her household affairs. But from the very time that I began to launch out into the deep, my mind began to be loaded with the conviction that God had something for me to do in the great harvest-field, while my inquiry was

like Paul's when he was converted, "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?" I went to the elder brethren with my case, who at once gave me license to exhort. A door seemed to be open at once for me to enter the field. My first attempt was in the Methodist church at Greencastle. There was quite a large congregation gathered on Sabbath evening to witness how the blind man would succeed in his first attempt at this new undertaking. The cross bore heavier and heavier as the appointed time drew near. I had attempted to arrange something in my mind to say, but, as I arose to speak, my notes that I had attempted to write on the tablet of my memory were not to be found; so I had to trust to the Spirit to teach me what to say. I talked away, hacked and hemmed for about half an hour, and the meeting was concluded. The adversary of my soul you may be sure was on the alert to tempt and try me; but I had by this time become somewhat acquainted with his devices and wiles, and I was fully resolved to do the will of the Lord according to the wisdom and strength given me.

The next move I made was to go into the country with old father Hawbecker, a good, humble, devoted German preacher, who preached sometimes in Dutch and at other times in broken English, and I exhorted the congregations in English. The people in those neighbourhoods generally understood both languages. I found that every time I occupied I became more familiar with the use of