From The Fortnightly Review. LORD TOLLEMACHE AND HIS ANECDOTES. Θάνατος δέ τοι αὐτῷ ̓Αβληχρὸς μάλα τοῖος ἐλεύσεται, ὅς κε σε πέφνη Γηραι ύπο λιπαρῷ ἀρημένον· ἀμφὶ δε λαοί Όλβιοι ἔσσονται. HOMER. "And thou shalt fall in a serene old age, WORSLEY'S Translation. gest a comparison with the present popu larity of our constitution all over the world. What was the cause of this surprising change? The proximate cause seems to have been a speech delivered by Mr. Chamberlain when my father was in his eightieth year, a speech which declared him to be one of the very best of English landlords, and which straightway transformed the old-fashioned protectionist into a Radical hero. Thereupon his theory suddenly became ex humili potens. Seeing what appeared to be its dry bones thus live, one is tempted to adapt the words of the banished Bolingbroke,* and to exclaim, "Such is the breath of orators." It is not my purpose to say much about my father, either as a politician or as a landlord. He regarded the Reform Bill of 1832 as, at best, a necessary evil. He even thought that, if Peel had disfran- Other and wider causes doubtless chised every corrupt borough and trans- helped on the change, causes connected ferred the members to large constituencies, with the decline of the laissez-faire school such as Manchester, the extension of the of political economy. Mr. Norman, himfranchise might have been delayed, if not self a strong adherent of that school, told averted. He was one of the fifty or sixty me that an inquiry had been set on foot members who, at the very last division, as to the comparative rate of wages on opposed the repeal of the Corn Laws. different Suffolk estates, and he believed He continued a protectionist to the end; that the laborers on my father's estate and on this as on other matters he had the were little, if at all, better off than the courage of his opinions. Indeed, in allu- laborers on other estates; the rate of sion to an old cartoon in Punch, he used wages had found its level, and the laborers jocularly to call himself one of the fifty on my father's estate received as much cannon balls which nothing could melt. less from the farmers as they received He held that free trade would have more from the landlord. Doubtless there speedily ruined British agriculture, if it was some overstatement in this. At any had not been for the discovery of gold; rate, my father, when a very old man, and he was fond of quoting a high com- knew nothing of the untoward investigamercial authority as having said that this tion. But I refer to it as showing the discovery had given the greatest stimu-instinctive repulsion with which some polus to trade that the world had ever litical economists of the old school would known." He talked the matter over with that charming and accomplished old man, the late Mr. George Norman, whose opinion carried great weight in matters of political economy and finance, and whose name is familiar to the readers of "The Life of George Grote." Mr. Norman indirectly confirmed my father in his opinion by telling him that the discovery of gold had raised prices as much as ten per cent.; but I am bound to add that Mr. Norman told me that, in his opinion, the rise of prices had done more harm than good. 66 One thing has always struck me about my father's rules in regard to allotments and to the general management of his estates. When I was living under his roof thirty years ago, those somewhat arbitrary rules were thought by many landowners to be as eccentric as (to compare small things with great) the British constitution was thought on the Continent in the last century. On the other hand, this same system has suddenly gained such a wide popularity as almost to sug have regarded the masterful beneficence even of a model landlord. Or, to speak more precisely, a disciple of that school would pronounce Lord Tollemache's paternal landlordism (as, indeed, he would pronounce Mr. Gladstone's Irish Land Act) to be a needful anomaly, perhaps, but certainly an anomaly, and to involve the assumption that political economy is a less exact science is less of a quod semper, quod ubique, quod omnibus—than it was once thought to be. The above consideration may be further illustrated by a personal remark, which I make with some reluctance, but which may be thought suggestive. One of my father's neighbors was that very remarkable man, Mr. Charles Austin. It was partly under his guidance that I broke loose from my hereditary politics, and became a staunch Whig and an upholder | which the French call billiards. As he of what is now called individualism. My was making a stroke, a French bully father, whose view of the patria potestas nudged his arm. A repetition of the of might have found favor with Brutus or fence having shown it to be no accident, Camillus, was wont to rate me soundly for he threw the Frenchman out of the winmy "harum-scarum notions. But the dow; and then, warned by the landlord, Liberal party has since changed its front, ran for his life. The impetuous temper and individualism is giving place to state thus shown devolved in full measure on socialism; and, at the same time, it has his son, as might be proved by numerous been my good or bad fortune to continue examples. in the main loyal to the principles of Ricardo though fallen on evil days, On evil days though fallen, and evil tongues. The odd result of all this was that my father, at the end of his active and useful life, seemed to be in some respects less out of sympathy with modern Liberalism than I was. Some of my readers will remember that my father drove almost, if not quite, the last curricle in London-one of those not very safe, but comfortable and picturesque, carriages which seemed to take one bodily into the England of Miss Austen. The mention of these old-world conveyances indirectly recalls a quaint remark made three years ago by a French garçon, who wore an antique dress, and showed me, in the so-called Rue de la Bastille, a full-sized model of a restaurant of the last century: "Il n'y a rien de changé sauf le personnel!" In early youth my father was extraordinarily active. So much so, indeed, that, in a race of one hundred yards, he twice beat the champion runner of England. In relating this, however, he was careful to explain that he was several years younger than the champion, who had passed his prime. In later life his chief amusement was driving four-in-hand; and, on at least one occasion, he drove his four chestnut horses when he was over eighty. When I congratulated him on this achievement, he gave the characteristic explanation, "I had a young fool of a coachman who didn't know how to drive; so I had to teach him. I found it hard work to get on the box; but, when I was once hoisted up, I was all right." Alas! how often the thought of him who has been taken from us a muscular Puritan, if ever there was one has tempted me with all reverence to exclaim: "Pater mi, pater mi, currus Israel, et auriga ejus!" His unusual strength and agility were inherited from his father, Admiral Tollemache: il chassoit de race. During the peace of Amiens the admiral was at Calais, playing the pocketless game The following adventure of his youth will astonish those who are conversant only with the stately Evangelicalism of his declining years. Önce when he was travelling with a friend, his dressing-case was stolen. The friend had seen a suspiciouslooking stranger standing by; and from his description the authorities of Scotland Yard identified the man with a noted thief, but there was no legal proof, and the affair was dropped. At the next Derby, my father, pointing out a horse to the same friend, said that, if he were to bet, he would back that horse. A stranger, overhearing him, offered him odds of twentyfive to one against it in five-pound notes. My father took the bet, and was much surprised when his friend whispered in his ear that the stranger was no other than the thief. The horse won, and the miscreant had to disgorge more than the value of what he had stolen. So that, in this case, "Ridebat plenus coram latrone via tor." My father, before appointing an incumbent to one of his numerous livings, made the noble resolution that (as he expressed it) he would select not merely a good man, but the very best he could find. It happened on a Sunday afternoon that he attended the church of one of his nominees - the opposite end of the social scale being represented by an infirm peasant whom I will call John Martin. The eloquent preacher impressed on his hearers that (to speak broadly) there will be no reserved seats in heaven: "All of you, my brethren, from you, Lord Tollemache, down to you, John Martin, will stand side by side before the judgment-seat of God." The patron, I understand, was asleep.* And now, having furnished a few facts • If he had been awake, would he have quite relished being thus reminded of the posthumous equality which he, of course, admitted in theory? I remember an odd story of a pious marquise who attended to the spiritual wants of her servant, Jean, who died young. When the old lady went to heaven, she deigned to inquire whether "mon valet-de-chambre, ce bon Jean," was also among the elect. "Comment? vous ne savez pas? Monseigneur Jean est archange," was the reply vouchsafed to her. When she was told, moreover, that she must needs bow herself to the ground if she met so great a personage, it repented her that she had taken such thought for the religion of her household! about the non-agricultural life of this most | corpore virtus? This manifold combinapainstaking and exemplary landlord, I am tion of qualities has led to the result that, sorely tempted to pass on at once to the though for many years he and I had scarce anecdotes which he told about others; for a taste or a thought in common, and I know that just as Wellington held a though he was neither politician nor orator great victory to be an evil second only to nor philosopher nor scholar, I believe him a great defeat even so, the most delicate to have been the grandest specimen of a task for a son, next to speaking of his country gentleman that our generation has father's defects, is to speak of his father's seen or is likely to see. virtues. But it would be unfilial, and might give rise to misconstruction, if I were to forego all expression of feeling. Briefly, then, I will apply to the present subject a quotation from "The Lady of the Lake: His ready speech flowed fair and free, These lines express a part of what I feel, but only a part. An original picture-I think the only one of the Lord Falkland used to belong to our family. The late Lord Falkland begged my father, as an old friend, to let him buy this memorial of his ancestor; and my father-wishing, as he expressed it, to do as he would be done by consented to the proposal, and replaced the original picture by a copy. This may be taken as a typical instance of the kindness, nay, the exceeding great kindness, which was often shown by him. I want, however, to lay stress on the fact that he had (so to say) les qualités de ses défauts; if he had been less masterful, his work might have been less masterly. In fact, he might be roughly described as three parts Sir Roger de Coverley and one part Cardinal Richelieu. "Roughly," I say, for assuredly he had virtues of a kind which neither of these had. One great virtue he derived from his Evangelicalism. He was liberal alike of sympathy and of money to orthodox Dissenters; and it may have been in consequence of this sympathy, or rather of its religious basis, that, though himself an aristocrat to the backbone, he was remarkably tolerant of the class of persons whose real worth is veiled by social shortcomings, and whose aspirations are less defective than their aspirates. Let me say, too, that, when I read of the few philanthropic French seigneurs of the last century, I am instinctively reminded of him. Is it unbecoming for a son to add concerning his father that the setting, so to say, was worthy of the gem that there was in him, absolutely when in his prime, relatively when in extreme old age, a dignity of presence and of bearing, Gratior et pulchro veniens in Before relating a few of my father's anecdotes, I must premise two things: first, that I merely report the anecdotes, and do not vouch for their accuracy; and, secondly, that they lose much by not being told in his inimitable voice and manner. He was an intimate friend of Lord Charles Wellesley, who told him some curious facts about the Iron Duke. The first two that I shall record tempt one to supplement the old saying about a hero and his valet-de-chambre, with the addition that a hero is not always seen at his best beneath the scrutiny even of his favorite son. The ship of an admiral, who was the duke's near connection, was wrecked. He was placed in command of a second ship, which was also lost, and he himself was drowned. Lord Charles communicated the disaster to his father, who merely exclaimed, with Spartan coldness and brevity, "That's the second ship he has lost." The twin anecdote, so to call it, had reference to Lord Charles himself. Being ordered with his regiment abroad he felt much concern at bidding farewell to his aged father whom he might never see again. On his making the announcement, the duke, who had been reading, damped his emotion by saying shortly, "Goodbye, Charlie, good-bye!" and, taking a last look before leaving the room, the son was mortified to see that the father appeared to be as intent on his reading as ever. Is this indifference, after all, so very strange? Sydney Smith has some. where lamented that the greatest public benefactors are seldom conspicuous for what are called the minor virtues; and Goethe has maintained (metaphorically, of course), that the habitual use either of the microscope or of the telescope, impedes the normal and healthy use of the eye. Why, then, should we wonder that the man whom Goethe himself has ranked with Aristides as a supreme example of integrity and public worth that this great national hero, while ever vigilant against public calamity, was scarce sensitive enough to domestic losses, or to the fear of them. He would not have been the Iron Duke if he had been made of quicksilver. Imperium peperit, non sibi, sed patria. A different and very minor form of insensibility was ascribed by Lord Charles to his father. During the Peninsular War the duke had eggs for his breakfast, eating them habitually whether they were fresh or stale. Comparing this account with an entry in Lord Stanhope's "Conversations with the Duke of Wellington we get some idea of the duke's daily bill of fare during the war. General Alava told me that when he travelled with the duke, and asked him what o'clock he would start, he usually said, " "At daylight; "and to the question of what they should find for dinner, the usual answer was; "Cold meat." "J'en ai pris en horreur, added Alava, "les deux mots, cold meat et daylight." sage in which Victor Hugo attributes Napoleon's fall to the divine jealousy (il genait Dieu), and in which, so far as he assigns to human, or rather to British, agency any share in the giant's overthrow, he would have us believe that the credit was due to the British army alone, and not to Napoleon's rival - would have us believe this et quantum Gallia mendax Audet in historia. "I heard the duke say," remarked Lord Stradbroke, "that if he had had his old Peninsular army at Waterloo, it would have been an affair of four hours. These were his words." This is remarkable as being the utterance of one who was never given to boasting. One of my grandfather's greatest friends Orient caught fire at the battle of the Nile, was Admiral Holloway, who, when the ordered his seamen to fire on the flames, and, by thus preventing their extinction, to insure the destruction of the French Lord Charles was often troubled by vessel. After the victory, the other adimportunate acquaintances, who begged mirals of their abundance gave rich presfor some of his father's hair. On such ents to their commander. But Holloway, occasions, he said to an old servant whose being poor, offered a humbler gift. His hair was like the duke's, "Sit down, John, "widow's mite" (so to call it) took the I must cut off another lock!" This extraordinary form of a coffin made out of story recalls one told of a simple-minded the disjecta membra of the Orient. Nelold Etonian who was with me at Oxford. son declared that he valued this coffin The boy once, when returning to Eton, more than any of the other gifts, and after the summer holidays, boasted that ordered that, when he died, he should be he had shot some yellowhammers. His buried in it. Alas ! the δώρον άδωρον was schoolfellows gravely assured him that prophetic. those birds were under Wellington's protection, and that, if he did not straightway apologize, he would be imprisoned or worse. He was actually induced to write a penitent letter to his Grace, and received a curt answer, telling him that FieldMarshal the Duke of Wellington could not make out what he meant. But he had his reward; for one of the masters, hearing of the hoax, gave him five shillings for the letter in the hope of getting Wellington's autograph. It was, however, afterwards discovered that the letter was almost certainly written by a secretary, who could exactly counterfeit the duke's handwriting. After the battle of Waterloo my father, being then in his tenth year, saw Napoleon standing on the deck of the Bellerophon; and I have heard him say with what pleasure he afterwards recalled the generosity of the British sailors who, in spite of all their past hatred, paid homage to fallen greatness with the hearty cry of Vive l'Empereur! He derived from his father a love of naval matters, which lasted till the end of his life. A year before he died he went over the arsenal and dockyard of Toulon. A lieutenant in the French navy was deputed to show him over the works; and my father's brother, who was present, writes that the Frenchman gave the following explanation of the failure of his countrymen at sea during the Revolutionary War: Before taking leave of our great general, I cannot forbear recording a noteworthy saying of his, which I heard on direct authority. The late Lord Stradbroke, if I remember rightly, served under Wellington They had no good officers at that time. in Spain, and afterwards fought at Quatre The French navy, unlike the army, was Bras, but was somehow disabled from be- thoroughly loyal; and after the execution of ing at Waterloo; he was, moreover, almost the king, the best officers emigrated in great the only Tory landlord whose abilities Ilotined. Thus the French navy was deprived numbers, and those who remained were guil ever heard Charles Austin praise. When he was staying with my father, the conversation turned on the extraordinary pas of all its able commanders, and the government had to replace them with inferior, or, at least, inexperienced men. Shortly after my father entered Parlia- | day his wife complained that the supply ment there was a great disturbance in of milk was falling short. The sentinel Ireland. The Duke of Wellington was accounted for the deficiency by saying reported to have said significantly that the army was ready. One or more Irish members answered the appeal by saying in the House of Commons that the people of Ireland were ready too. Amid the general excitement, a young member of timorous aspect rose to make his maiden speech. In a meek voice the novice began: "Mr. Speaker, I have listened attentively to this debate, and have come to the conclusion that Irishmen are no more fit to govern themselves than blacks! The bashful orator was the first Mr. Wal-soldier," said the offended lady, "don't ter of the Times. Between the years 1858 and 1866 my father used often to take me as his son into one of the seats under the gallery of the House of Commons. Naturally, how ever, the better the debate, the harder it was to get me in. Perhaps this is the reason why the speeches have left so little impression on my memory. The quaintest thing that I remember hearing was a comparison made by Bernal Osborne between Pius IX. and Lord Palmerston "Both began as reformers. Both withdrew their reforms. Non possumus became the motto of the one, as of the other. And now what is the result? The one is defended by French bayonets, and the other by Conservative votes." that the pasture had lately been much trodden down by the public. Thereupon the martial despot gave orders that no (human or other) animal except the cow should be allowed on the grass-plot; and added-men were not particular in those days that if this rule was infringed, the sentinel should be flogged. Soon afterwards the admiral's wife, having a pressing engagement, took a short cut over the grass in disregard of the sentinel's repeated order to stand back. "Common you know who I am?" "All I know is that you're not the general's cow!" The following story would seem incredible if my father had not heard it from an eye-witness. When Colonel Lennox (afterwards Duke of Richmond) called out and nearly shot the Duke of York, the indignation of the royal family and of their friends was extreme. After a time, however, the prince regent forgave the audacious duellist, and quite unexpectedly asked him to dinner. A large party was awaiting the arrival of their royal host when, to their amazement, Colonel Lennox was announced. Being received with silence and cold looks, he resolved to mark his sense of the courtiers' disapproval. So he laid down two chairs side At my special request I was taken to by side on the floor, and leapt over them. hear Mr. Goschen second the address on Being a man of singular activity, he rethe queen's speech. I afterwards told peated this little comedy, after laying a Hayward how much Mr. Goschen's speech third chair over the first, and again after had impressed me. Hayward was also laying a fourth on the second, and again impressed, but characteristically added: after laying a fifth on the summit. At this "The thing that most struck me in con- last jump, however, his foot caught the nection with it was the remark made by topmost chair, and the pile was scattered Lord Hotham, that he had never before over the floor. At this moment the prince known a young member make so long a entered the room, and in astonishment speech without once apologizing for tres-asked the unseasonable athlete what on passing on the patience of the House. earth he was about. "Really, sir," replied One always likes to have a foolometer." the unabashed visitor, "it is most unforIt was, I think, Sydney Smith who coined tunate. No one spoke a word, and I had this ungracious word. I have sometimes to amuse myself. But I sincerely hope thought that such a word as Philistinometer or fashionometer would be convenient and comparatively inoffensive. Be that as it may, foolometry is the one science in which the wise have much to learn from the unwise. And it is a very useful sci ence. The scene of one of my father's stories was laid in a southern seaport town, where long ago a general and an admiral were neighbors. The general's house was fronted by a grass-plot, on which he claimed the right to pasture a cow. One that none of your Royal Highness's chairs is broken." The prince laughed, and the matter blew over. "No one but a thorough gentleman," said my father, who used to pronounce this word with a peculiar emphasis, and to employ it in a somewhat narrowly exclusive sense, “could have carried the affair off as Colonel Lennox did." |
