Enter Hamlet. Hamlet. Well, mother, what's the matter with you now? Queen. Your father, Sir, has made a pretty row (d). Hamlet. Mother, you've put my father in a passion. Queen. Zounds, Sir, don't answer in this idle fashion. Hamlet. None of your blarney; it won't do to-night, No, not quite : You are the Queen-wife to your husband's brother; And (tho' I blush to own you,) you're my mother. Queen. Behave yourself;-be decent, Sir, I beg. Hamlet. Sit down-and dam'me if you stir a peg 'Till I have let you see your very soul— Queen. What! Would'st thou kill me? Help, ho!-watch!— (Behind) Polonius: Patrole! Hamlet. A rat-a rat-by Jove, that's just the thing- [Hamlet draws, and stabs Polonius behind the arras. Is't the King? Queen. O, Hamlet! you have done a deed felonious; Hamlet. They who throw stones should mind their windows, mother. Who kill'd a king and married with his brother? Queen. If I know what you mean, the devil burn me. Hamlet. (Lifts up the arras and sees Polonius.) Thou'st paid for list'ning to what don't concern thee. (To Queen) Leave wringing of your hands: before we part, I'll take the liberty to wring your heart. Queen. What have I done that you dare make so free, Hamlet. Oh! such an act-it scarcely can be nam'd— Queen. What act d'you mean?-You hoax-there's nothing in it. Hamlet. I'll let you know my meaning in a minute. SONG.-HAMLET. (Tune-" Drops of Brandy.") Come sit you down here, ma'am, a little, -- Come, none of your fine airs and graces. You'll now please to look upon this : I'd have married a monkey as soon- Ri tol, &c. Zounds! the fellow looks like a baboon, The one I now hold in my hand, mother? That you're almost as old as my grandmother. Queen. O, say no more-I'll mind what I'm about: Hamlet. Nay, but to live (in not the best repute) A King of shreds and patches-(Enter Ghost) Ha! here's dad! What is't you're come about? Queen. Alas! he's mad! TRIO.-HAMLET, GHOST, QUEEN. (Tune-O Lady Fair.") Hamlet-O spectre grim! What brings thee here now? Queen-Say, Hamlet, say! on what art thou staring? So frighten'd am I, that I vow 'tis past bearing. On what art thou looking? To whom art thou talking? I can see nothing!-O, where art thou walking? Ghost-But look at thy mother; she seems in a stew, Sir; Tell her she'd better not be frighten'd, pray do, Sir! Hamlet-Whom 'tis I look at, fain you'd be knowing: Queen-Whom 'tis you look at, fain I'd be knowing :- Ghost Whom 'tis you look at, fain she'd be knowing:- Queen. Together. [Ghost sinks. Hamlet, these pranks of your's do much amaze me: You surely must be either drunk or crazy. Hamlet. Mother-I fear your crimes are past all cure; Queen. O Hamlet, you have cut my heart in twain. Hamlet. Then throw away the rotten part, good mother, And strive to make a better use of t'other. Good night: and when you next lie down your head, Be sure you kick my uncle out of bed: |