From Bentley's Miscellany. GERMAN ALMANACS FOR 1855. BEFORE we proceed to take our annual peep at the contents of the German almanacs, we think it advisable to say a few words on their origin, and the predominant influence which they exercise on the minds of their almost innumerable readers. In truth, these almanacs are most potent instruments for good or evil; in this country, we may safely aver that the masses are influenced preeminently by their newspaper, and their opinions are the reflex of those emanating from the politicians who deal in various sobriquets more or less absurd. In Germany, however, the periodical press is almost in its infancy, and will probably remain so until the governments abolish the censorship: hence the nation at large derives its views almost exclusively from the almanacs, which appear with the commencement of the year, and which, with the Bible and the hymnbook, form the popular library. The first people's calendar appeared in the year 1811, under the auspices of Christian Andrée. Its principal object was to combine the amusing with the instructive, and, consequently, it contained short tales, lessons in natural history, domestic recipes, &c. It was speedily followed by Gubitz, Nieritz, the "Rhenish House-friend," and the "Ant Calendar," all carried out on the same principle. When, however, the people gradually began to take an interest in questions of the present day, political instruction was imparted in the almanacs, and Berthold Auerbach's "Gevattersmann," which first appeared in 1845, is exclusively devoted to that subject. The most extensive of these almanacks, and, at the same time, the one which most retained its original purpose, is the "Austria," of which Dr. Kaltenback, the present keeper of the imperial records at Vienna, was the original promoter. gelical in Vienna, and a Lutheran in Breslau; as well as two Catholic almanacs, appearing in Prussia and Austria; the remainder are secular. For the present we will confine ourselves to an examination of the chief of the latter class. The first we have to hand is " Gubitz," now in its twenty-first year, which contains a great quantity of matter, though it is difficult to say from it whether it has any other design than that of affording some transient amusement. The best story is one by the celebrated Caroline Birch Pfeiffer, written for peasants about peasants. The "Illustrated Almanac" is a much more pretentious affair, costing a thaler and a half, and is published at the office of the Illustrated Leipzig News. It is full of wood-engravings, which, to our fancy, have already appeared in the paper. It is divided into various departments-historical, commercial, scientific, military, &c.; and contains a very large quantity of highly useful information, both for Germans and foreigners, but the price is much too high for it to have an extensive circulation. Steffen's "Volks Calendar" is now in its eleventh year. In addition to various stories by authors of repute, it contains a short résumé of the principal events of the past year, and a very useful table of the several German railways and their prices. "The Universal Calendar," of Trowitzch and Son, has also been in existence for several years, and is carried out on the same plan. The same may be said of Eyrand's, Nieritz's, and Treuwendt's "Calendars." Trowitzch, we must not forget to mention, contains an extraordinary story by Ludwig Rellstab, in which the defects of the English trial by jury are attempted to be shown! If we can find space, we shall probably return to it for a few amusing extracts. From the list of German almanacs now Willibald Alexis' "Volks Calendar" is the lying before us, we find that thirteen appear handsomest of all in its external appearance. in Prussia, four in Austria, two in Saxony, Its contents refer pre-eminently to Prussia and one in Bavaria and Hanover respectively. and her past glory,-for of the present the Of these the following are religious: "The least said the best. Intermingled with vaChristian Calendar," in Hanover; an Evan-rious stories we find a quantity of useful lessons about wind and weather, breathing | tions must regard the matter in the same and food, superstition and natural history, and other such matters. The Austrian 'People's Almanac," now in its eleventh year, is the most popularly written of all. For historical subjects we have the marriage of the Emperor of Austria, and the recovery of the Hungarian crown; the remainder of the almanac is occupied by comic tales and caricatures, in praise of whose moral tendency not too much can be said. Weber's "Volks Calendar" is the one which, in our humble opinion, most fully coincides with the original purpose of the almanac namely, that of placing in the hands of the masses a book from which they can derive real instruction. It furnishes not only historical descriptions of the most important events of the past year, the most prominent religious topics, and the prin cipal men who have distinguished themselves in science and art, but contains detailed accounts of all the improvements made in trade and domestic economy. light; but we fear that the result will prove that, in trusting to Austria, we have indeed leaned upon a broken reed. But the reader will naturally ask, what has this to do with German almanacs ?-still, at a time when our hopes are built on raising a foreign legion, it may be worth while calling attention to the facts, leaving the reader, without further prompting, to draw his own conclusions. Our old friend "Kladderadatsch" opens his budget with a variety of maxims, proverbs and apothegms, from which we will select those best adapted for an English garb.. A FOOLISH PROVERB says: "The man who has lack, leads the bride home:" the man who has luck don't marry at all. A POOR GIRL, whom a man marries for love, is though it's burning his fingers confoundedly. a hot potato, which he does not like to let fall, al CHANGE OF FORTUNE.-Woe to the man who has worn polished-leather boots for five years, and is suddenly compelled by necessity to pull on calfskin ones. Sorrowfully he looks down to the earth, and seeks in vain the varnished mirror from which the world smiled once so cheerily upon him. But no blacking can restore him his Par adise lost. NATURAL HISTORY.-From nature man de the rives everything. The spider taught him weav ing; the fish furnished the idea of the boat; swan the pleasing model of the sail; the palm led to the erection of the pillar; the skin of brutes gave us the idea of dress; and the cocoa-nut led to the beer-jug. The tax on wood alone appears to me to be a purely human invention. UNFORTUNATELY TRUE.-And if the hares had ready to take off their hats to them. ONE LETTER.-The greatest misfortune that could happen to Prussia, would be the loss of one letter. FIREWORKS -are the only moral popular they direct all glances heaven Before we proceed to make any extracts from the almanacs which are most suited to amuse an English reader, it may be worth while to say a word or two on the feelings entertained by the German nation, as expressed in their household books, as to the present war. The predominant feature is indifference, or if they have any particular bias, it is for the Russians. They have never forgotten nor forgiven the events of the Napoleonic campaigns, and with the French no persuasion on earth will induce them to coalesce. At the same time they have an ill-eight feet, there would still be some Germans conceived fear of the brute strength of the Tsar: many are still living who saw their Fatherland overflooded by his hordes on the march to Paris, and the impression has not yet been effaced. Had this not been the case, Austria and Prussia would not have had such an easy task in deluding the Eng lish and French nations: for even the most despotic of governments entertain a salutary respect for the universal expression of the popular will. But such will not take place: and the most we may anticipate from the Germans is a stolid acquiescence in our movements, but no active support. A tolerable acquaintance with the German character, acquired by intercourse with almost every class of society, during a lengthened residence on the continent, enables the writer to assert these facts of his personal knowledge, and the tone of the almanacs only serves to confirm it. We good English people, trusting in the righteousness of our cause, delude ourselves with the flattering idea that other na amusements COMPARISON.-Life is a business in which we do not clear our expenses. A. SHARP IDEA -Sooner than marry a woman of fifty, I'd take two at five-and-twenty. BOTANY.-In Russia no laurels grow. INTERPRETATION.—Actress A-dur. Only think, my dear, how far my husband's coarseness carries him yesterday he called me a serpent in public. Prima Donna B. Moll. I'm sure he did not mean that in any bad sense. Perhaps he only wishes that you should have a fresh skin annually. ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE.-The author demands his entrance-money back. He's not been able to find a place. MAN--is at last satisfied with everything-but never with a little. MONEY.-The man who has money, can put up with everything. The man who has none, must do so. LOVE OF LIFE.-Our life is a contest in which the victory is death-says the poet. But then, some people would rather not conquer. NAPOLEON-said, in 1812: In my dictionary the word impossible cannot be found." At a later date he probably procured a more perfect copy. CUPID-is still represented as armed with bow and arrow. It is almost time for him to exchange these weapons for the needle gun. THE CHEAPEST VICE-is ingratitude. A translation of this axiom from the Austrian into the Russian language has already been set about. VERY TRUE!-Kissing the hand of a pretty woman, is like eating the potatoes and leaving the steak. 2d Day.-Bride (seeing her beloved enter the house, cries in a loud tone). Gretchen, bring me the soap; I'm going to wash the salad. THE WAY OF WRITING MODERN ROMANCES.Albert rode with the speed of an arrow to the garden, sprang like the wind from his steed, climbed like a squirrel over the hedge, writhed like a snake through the palings, flew like a hawk to the arbor, crept up to her all unseen, threw himself passionately at her feet, swore frantically that he would shoot himself, was, however, immediately heard, seated himself in blessed delight at her side, sank on her bosom, swam in a sea of bliss-all this was the work of a second! BAD MANAGEMENT.-The Russians have obtained reinforcements of 50,000 men, and the Allies just as many, consequently the affair is equal Among the anecdotes, the following are the ized: could they not have come to an amicable best: Papa (addressing the music-master who is teaching his son). May I ask what you are playing there? Teacher. Duets, by Maiseder. I play the first, and your son the second violin. Papa. Permit me, my dear sir; when I engaged you at such a high figure to give instruction to my son, I always meant that he should play first fiddle. A NEW PROFESSION.-Wife, I'll go off now to the Carp send the children down soon after to beg. I shall be setting there with the guests, all good citizens, and I can promise you that they will earn a deal of money. When the children come to the table, I'll say that I know their father, a worthy and industrious, but unfortunate, man, who really deserves some assistance. You can believe me that I shan't say this to no purpose. THE DOMESTICATED BRIDE.-1st Day.-Bridegroom My darling, and are you really conversant with domestic affairs, especially with cooking? I never find you engaged with them. Bride. Of course, dearest; but when you are here I must remain by your side. As the siege works have not yet commenced, and the enemy, through his numerical weakness, remains quietly in the invested fortress, our soldiers spend the greater part of the night at the bivouac fires. Yesterday a cavalry soldier, while patrolling, was wounded in the foot by a rifle-ball. Nothing was seen of the enemy during the whole of the day. Unless something serious is soon undertaken, life in the camp will become wearisome. This morning, at an early hour, a large convoy of provisions and other necessaries, in all probability intended for the commander-in-chief, fell into the hands of our brave troops. The fortress is closely invested. Yesterday a tower, belonging to the enemy's outworks, was assailed by us with a heavy fire; agreement and left these men at home? It would have been all the same, and the expense would have been spared; but that's the way the money goes! THE POOR ENGLISH!-When Count Stephan Szechenyi returned from England, at the comspeeches every where to the peasants, in order to mencement of the Hungarian opposition, he held invite them to be as active as the English. During one of these speeches, he described with enthusiasm the industry of the English nation, and, fancying he had worked sufficiently on the feelings of his audience, he concluded with the remark: These brave Britons labor continually; by day and by night, in summer and winter, they are always, always, always, at work! When he had finished, a considerable noise commenced among the Hungarian peasants, and the count heard them say: "The poor miserable fellows, they're always at work. Well, at any rate, we are better off here, after all!" There is considerable truth, too, in the following account of how reports from the seat of war are made up: ON THIS. Yesterday evening a fire was perceived from the walls in the enemy's camp. From the fearful conflagration, it must have been of very great extent. To-day we have to report a serious collision between our troops and a large division of the enemy's cavalry. Our brave Chasseur battalions attacked the enemy with the bayonet, and after a short struggle he was repulsed. The half of the enemy's cavalry was cut to pieces, the remainder dispersed. The enemy content themselves with stopping a few old peasant women, on their road to market, and strip them of their property. It can be seen from this, that the fortress is not yet invested, and our communication with the exterior is always open. Till now the fire of the besiegers has done no injury, and destroyed nothing more than a few within an hour his guns were silenced. The tower is destroyed. Yesterday a small detachment crept out from the fortress to annoy our fatigue parties, but was driven back without any trouble. In their flight they carried off an old unserviceable cart: we have taken a great many arms. The siege works are rapidly progressing. All goes well. The garrison is at this moment hoisting the white flag of truce. The police-courts furnish "Kladderadatsch" with several humorous scenes, which, however, from their coarseness, are almost unfit for the English readers. We will, how ever, try our hand on two of them. THE VOLUNTARY LOAN. Bollert, the tinman, is regarded in his quarter as a man who has got what he wants. For some years a widower, he resides with his two grownup children, namely, a daughter of twenty-four years of age, who is a milliner, and a son, who is a painter. Steppenseifer, a barber, has recently established himself just opposite Bollert's. He noticed Fraulein Louise, and the exterior of the father, which hinted that he was well to do in the world, induced him to ask her hand, which was promised him without any difficulty. But, instead of having their union blessed by a clergyman, the lovers, with papa Bollert and his son, recently appeared before the magistrates, the barber as plaintiff, the others as defendants. The barber begins his litany in the following fashion : Your worship, Ican tell you they've got nothing. Cutting it fat won't find a dinner. Ach Jott! that's the way with them. Magistrate. Express yourself differently. Steppenseifer. Well, then, they've got nothing -nothing at all. And he's impudent in the bargain, the old Pomeranian ox. But the proverb is true never ask more from the ox than a piece of beef Magistrate. I tell you once again, you must use different language, or I shall not allow you to speak. Steppenseifer. They thrashed me most unmercifully-tore the clothes from my body. She gave me her fist in the bread-basket. summer-houses which were left standing on the outworks, through their slight importance. In the fortress all goes on well. Yesterday a sally was made by all the troops, and the besiegers were driven from their lines at the point of the bayonet. The engagement was most sanguinary. We captured, among other things, a whole train of ammunition wagons. As the works of the besiegers progress so slowly, the inhabitants of the town are beginning to attend to their domestic duties, banging out the washing, &c., on the glacis. All looks well. What happens? He comes over to me, and says: "Halloh, brother-in-law, can you lend me ten dollars for a few days?" I don't want either to expose myself, reckon on the money from the old one, and say: “If it's only for a few days I'll get it for you. I'm coming over to your house to-morrow, and then I'll give it to you." And now, your worship, just be good enough to take off your spectacles, and look closely into the matter. I go the next day to Bollert's; he's sitting at dinner with Louise and Henry, and what are they eating? Potatoes and dripping! When I see the dinner I start in dismay. But I soon collect myself, and think where there's money there's always saving! take the old man on one side and say, "Father-in-law, have you the ten dollars?" "Yes," he says; and turns to Louise and says, "Louise, give me the ten dollars." "Yes, father," she says; goes to her brother and says, "Have you got the ten dollars?" 66 Yes," he says, "wait a minute ;" and then he comes over to me and says, "You just give me the ten dollars." Well! I thought I must immediately sink through a trap! such a thing had never happened to me in my life. Such a confounded baggage hasn't a halfpenny, and wants to shave me! [ soon collect myself, however, and say, "Taturs and dripping, and not ten dollars in the house. I decline any such alliance most politely." ing. Magistrate. Explain how it occurred. Steppenseifer. Well, I was going to marry the mam'sell. The marriage was arranged, and all The word's hardly out, when she springs upon in order, when suddenly there were ten dollars | me, seizes me by the apron; the old man comes wanting in my exchequer. That's to say, I had behind me, and the brother on my head. Respect not lost them, but I hadn't got them exactly, I forbids me saying how they treated me. I was wanted them. I thought, then, your father-in-not able to move for a fortnight, let alone shavlaw is a rich man, you'll borrow of him; and I He looks at me at first like a petrified marmoset, but then says: "It's good-I'll give 'em to you to-morrow. I must change first." Now only listen, your worship, how the bladder got pricked. For I found it all out afterwards. When I went away, then old Bollert goes to his daughter, and says: "Louise, can you lend me ten dollars from your saving-box?" Louise, however, who had carried her saving-box long do so. Bollert. Indeed! But you don't say anything of the boots I lent you. Steppenseifer. You can have 'em again on the spot. Bollert. Have you got them with you, then ?" Bollert. Where, then? Steppenseifer. Well, they ain't in my waist(Holds up his foot.) There they are! coat. Bride, father, and brother-in-law are acquitted for want of evidence. Steppenseifer leaves the court repeating the well-known Berlin saying, "Cutting it fat won't find a dinner!" TOO LATE ! Miss Rosalie. While she was beating him, she overwhelmed him with reproaches, whence I discovered that she was the ill housekeeper, whose connection with her master appeared only to want the blessing of some afternoon-preacher. I saw in my presence an obstacle to the reconciliation of the two old people, and wished, therefore, to retire Madame Streithorst. That is-with the jewelry. Miss Rosalie. When the old monster tore off my shawl, opened the window, and called out Help! thieves!" A policeman came directly, and I was taken to the lock-up. Madame Streithorst. As a thief deserves. the old gentleman, you will perceive that I am not Miss Rosalie. If your worship will question a thief: at least, I do not think him so wicked as to accuse me of it. Herr Rummelberg is sixty-seven years of age. But, regarding his feelings-in spite of his paunch and his gray hair-he is but six-andthirty, and he never met in his life a pretty face without feeling an inclination to make a conquest. Fortunately for his virtue and his health, Herr Rummelberg has near him Madame Streithorst, under the elastic title of a housekeeper, whose exertions are exclusively directed to keeping all temptation far from her master. But, for all that, the old butterfly manages to flutter to all the places where gas and other flames enliven the Magistrate. Herr Rummelberg, did the affair evening. Our history commences, therefore, at take place in the way the prisoner has described it? Kroll's, and is developed in the police-court. Rummelberg (stuttering). Your worshipIn the prisoners' box is a young, most elegantly-barrassment-very painful position for me (wipthere are cases in which a man-unpleasant emdressed lady, whose charming face at this moment bears traces of anger, and whose dark, fiery eye casts furious glances on Madame Streithorst, who is seated in the witness-box, and appears to be busily engaged with Herr Rummelberg. ing the perspiration from his forehead). Magistrate. Pray speak more plainly. Rummelberg. Certainly no idea of theftquite unfounded--as I said, highly unpleasant for Magistrate (to the young lady). Rosalie Wer-me--still-after all-a man like myself-in his der, you are charged with having robbed Herr best years-unmarried-no crime-still highly Rummelberg, rentier and householder, of various unpleasant-extraordinarily unpleasant! articles of jewelry. Miss Rosalie. The charge is as unfounded as it is improbable. Madame Streithorst. Only hark to the impudence. Magistrate. Silence! and let the accused party speak. (To Rosalie.) What have you to say in your defence? Miss Rosalie. One evening I was at Kroll's, and looking for my friend, whom I had lost in the crowd, when, suddenly, an old and very ugly man (Rummelberg fidgets on his seat) offers me his protection. He asserted that he had to deliver to me various articles of jewelry from my cousin at Rathenow, among them a splendid bracelet. Madame Streithorst. False! utterly false! Miss Rosalie. That is possible: I have not been able to inquire yet. The venerable exterior of the old gentleman, the corpse-like dignity of his appearance, could not cause me to hesitate in believing him and accompanying him home in his droschki, in order to receive the articles he had mentioned. We arrived. He opened the door of his house, and begged me to go up-stairs as gently as possible, because his housekeeper was dangerously ill. The court, after a short consultation, acquits Rosalie Werder, who retires hurriedly, with a smiling face. Madame Streithorst (to Rummelberg). Pretty justice that! Come, we'll arrange the matter very differently at home! Saphir's humoristich satirischer Volks Calendar, published at Vienna, commences with a variety of prophecies, mostly very bad, but from which we can contrive to make a few extracts. "The year 1855 will enter a new Russian phase. It will make its boots uncommonly dirty in consequence. It will look round for a boot-cleaner, when Paskievitch will recommend Omar Pacha, who is a famous hand at polishing people off. The prisoners in Kamschatka will be liberated by the Turks, and receive free billets of admis sion to the slave market of Constantinople. Napier will be nominated Barber of Cronstadt, and immediately proceed to sharpen his weapons, during which operation he will cut his fingers once more. A whole regiment of Cossacks of the Don will go over to-humanity. Diogenes will join the Turks on account of "Sinope." At a ball in Bucharest, a Turk will be present, who is not a Hungarian, Pole, Italian, or Frenchman. Frederika Bremer will espouse Elihu Burritt, and propabroom, and furiously attacked the venerable man, Cassel, a poor fellow will be jolly. The docgate olive-branches in Norway. In Hessen Madame Streithorst. Well, well-only wait, and I'll show you I'm quite well. Miss Rosalie. But we had scarce entered his house, before he closed the door, fell on his knees before me, and told me of his love. I had not time to feel horrified at this confession, before an old female monster rushed forward with a wet behind whom I had sought shelter in the first moment of terror. Rummelberg. Yes, that's true; I got it all. tors consider his condition dangerous. He will be taken to a madhouse. China and |