PROLOGUE

TO AN EVENING'S ENTERTAINMENT TAKEN FROM THIS BOOK.

THE Court's assembled-no grave court of law
With critic ears for every verbal flaw,

But a gay group whose members every one
Have vowed allegiance to immortal Fun,
Nor mean—we see it in your eyes—to blame
The Junior Counsel speaking in his name.

We shall not cite a Marshall or a Kent
For musty rule or solemn precedent;
Our pleasant pleas on merrier grounds we base,
For on your risibles we rest our case.
Mirth is our client, and our action lies

Against the demons of the realm of sighs.
These we would nonsuit, and to gain our cause
We only ask, for verdict, your applause!
Smile on our efforts then, our zeal 'twill fan,
And throw a laugh in, sometimes, if you can.
We're up for trial-may the Comic elves
Help us work credit to acquit ourselves.

Wit's vadi mecum unto court we've brought,
Brimful of antidotes to tristful thought,
And as these recipes for gloom we quote-
Odd as the tints in Joseph's motley coat-

If we should fail to read with accent true,
Laugh at the text, and give to that it's due.

The court being ready-may it please the court
To hear the plaintiffs make their light report.
Our book's so full of quips in prose and rhyme,
Drawn from a source one step from the sublime,"
We scarcely know what readings to select,

For gems while choosing, gems we must reject.
Would that our lips were like the fairy girl's
That dropt, when opened, solitaires and pearls—
Then should Wit's jewels, polished, rich and clear,
Dropped from our mouths, find grace in every ear.

No more o' that-here let excuses rest;

To wing the hours with joy we'll do our best.
Friends are our audience-not sardonic pokes
Who make a practice of dissecting jokes,
And "accent," " gesture," "attitude," discuss,
Of honor minus, but of humbug plus.
Good-natured faces on all sides we see,
Ready to titter at each jeu d'esprit,

And knowing these to genial hearts akin
We'll close our prologue, and at once begin.

"Give me a horse-bind up my wounds!"

He, jumping up, did call;

The woman, startled at the sounds,
Let all the tea-things fall!

In came the man, who having said,

"Buckram, sir, I am; "

"Off with his head!" he cries aloud"So much for Buckingham!"

The man jump'd back, the woman scream'd, For both were sore afraid,

A bedlamite our spouter seem'd,

And like Octavian said

"I cannot sleep!" "And wherefore pray?" "The leaves are newly pull'd!"

This said, the woman walk'd away

Until his frenzy cool'd.

But Buckram gave his bill, and so

He was resolved to stay;

"I'll hug on't, will glut on't!"—"Oh, no,
I'd rather, sir, you'd pay!"

Reptile!"-the exclamation shocks;
Great were the tailor's fears;

"I'll dash thy body o'er the rocks!"
The man pulled out his shears.

"I'll grapple with thee thus," he cried—

And soon the shears he won;

The tailor was so terrified,

That he thought fit to run.

HERE SHE GOES-AND THERE SHE GOES.

Two Yankee wags, one summer day,
Stopped at a tavern on their way;
Supped, frolicked, late retired to rest,
And woke to breakfast on the best.

The breakfast over, Tom and Will
Sent for the landlord and the bill;
Will looked it over;

"

Very right

But hold what wonder meets my sight?

Tom! the surprise is quite a shock!"

NACK,

"What wonder? where?" "The clock! the clock!"

Tom and the landlord in amaze

Stared at the clock with stupid gaze,

And for a moment neither spoke ;

At last the landlord silence broke:

"You mean the clock that's ticking there?
I see no wonder, I declare;

Though may be, if the truth were told,
'Tis rather ugly-somewhat old;
Yet time it keeps to half a minute,

But, if you please, what wonder's in it?"