Rosen.

Needs must (t)-You'd make us tarry if we wou'dn't, And if we rather choose to go we cou❜dn't.

Guild.

We'll so behave ourselves that you shall boast of us; Whilst we remain, I'd have you make the most of us.

Thanks, lads.

King.

Queen.

Now pray discover what fun this is.

Hollo, there! (To Attendants) bring these jockies where

my son is.

SCENE VII.

[Exeunt.

Another Room in the Palace.

Enter HAMlet.

Hamlet.

I think my plan will hit-they're caught, egad!
And all the family believe I'm mad.

Guild'stern and Rosencrantz just now they sent
To sift my secrets, but they miss'd their scent-
And old Polonius too-that sneaking prig-
But if I let them pump me, dash my wig.

Hold! something of the play'rs he said-aye-right-
I'll have them act a play this very night:

For guilty people oft (as nurses say)

Confess their sins when sitting at a play.

They shall not act their tragedies; I'd rather
Have something 'bout the murder of my father:

"Twill make a charming ballet-pantomime-
We'll get it up in style,-if we have time.
The king shall come; he'll not suspect the trick:
I'll watch him close-I'll touch him to the quick:
The charge against him is, as yet, deficient-
The honour of a ghost is not sufficient;
But if the play affect him, I shall tell, O!
That he's a knave-the ghost an honest fellow.

[Exit Hamlet.

END OF THE FIRST ACT.

HAMLET TRAVESTIE.

ACT THE SECOND.

SCENE I.

A Chamber in the Palace.

Enter KING, QUEEN, POLONIUS, OPHELIA, ROSENCRANTZ, and Guildenstern.

King.

And can you, by no drift of conversation,
Smell out the cause of his sad situation?

Rosen.

He does confess himself non compos mentis, (a)
But won't tell what the cause or the intent is.

Guilden.

He'll not be sounded: he knows well enough
The game we're after: Zooks, he's up to snuff. (b)

Did

Queen.

you not try to get him out to play?

Rosen.

It chanc'd we met the actors on the way:

He jump'd for joy to hear it: they're at court;
And he, this night, intends to have rare sport.

Polonius.

"Tis true; and Hamlet says, that if your graces Will come to see the play, he'll book you places.

King.

With all my heart: right glad am I to find
That he to some amusement is inclin'd.
Pray, gentlemen, give him a farther zest
For sports like these.

Rosen.

My Lord, we'll do our best.
[Exeunt Guild, and Rosen."

King.

Sweet Gertrude, march your carcase: we have sent
For Hamlet, that (as 'twere by accident)

He here may meet Ophelia.-Mark yon chink!
Behind it Plony and myself will slink;

And, from his conduct, we shall soon discover
If Hamlet's be the madness of a lover.

Queen.

Ophelia, were he mad of love for you,

I think we'd cure him soon.

Polonius.

(To Ophelia) Here take this book; he'll think you're at your pray❜rs.

(To the King) Come, let's be off; I hear him on the

stairs.

[Exeunt King and Polonius.

Enter HAMlet.

SONG.-HAMLET.

(Tune-" Here we go up, up, up.")

When a man becomes tir'd of his life,
The question is, " to be, or not to be ?"
For before he dare finish the strife,

His reflections most serious ought to be.
When his troubles too numerous grow,
And he knows of no method to mend them,
Had he best bear them tamely, or no?
Or by stoutly opposing them end them?

To die is to sleep-nothing more

Ri tol de rol, &c.

And by sleeping to say we end sorrow,
And pain, and ten thousand things more—
O, I wish it were my turn to-morrow!
But, perchance, in that sleep we may dream,
For we dream in our beds very often-
Now, however capricious 't may seem,
I've no relish for dreams in a coffin.

Ri tol de rol, &c.