HEAVENS, what a nose! Forbear to look,
Whene'er you drink, in fount or brook:
For, as the fair Narcissus died,

When hanging o'er a fountain's side,
You too, the limpid water quaffing,
May die, my worthy sir, with laughing.

DICK cannot wipe his nostrils when he pleases,
His nose so long is, and his arm so short;
Nor ever cries "God bless me !" when he sneezes,
He cannot hear so distant a report.

WHEN Timothy's house was on fire t'other night,
The wretched old man almost died with the fright;
For ropes and for water he bawl'd till half mad,
But no water was near, and no ropes to be had.
The fire still grew hotter, and Tim still grew madder,
Till he thought of Dick's nose, and it served for a ladder.

LET Dick some summer's day expose Before the sun his monstrous nose, And stretch his giant mouth, to cause Its shade to fall upon his jaws :

With nose so long, and mouth so wide, And those twelve grinders side by side, Dick, with a very little trial,

Would make an excellent sun-dial.

Hh

RIDDLES.

I.

FROM a bright sire my being springs,
I soar aloft, but not with wings-
Tears, without sorrow, to your eye

I draw; and, scarcely born, I die.

B.

II. N

I was born on the top of a tall mountain spire;
My mother a tree, and my father was fire.

I'm black, and I'm hard-but, when melted by thee,
My dear father, and pour'd in a pipkin, shall be

Most sanative balm for the cars of the sea.

III.

In my young and juicy age,

Had I met your hostile rage,

You'd have squeezed me where I stood,
Suck'd my flesh, and drunk my blood.
But now that time has drain'd my veins,
And all that yet of me remains,
Wrinkled without, and parch'd within,
You'll break my bones and eat my skin.

M.

M.

ILLUSTRATIONS.

SATIRICAL AND HUMOROUS.

"A Doctor, fond of letters, once agreed." p. 447.

THIS, and the three following Epigrams, are devoted to a body of professional men, who seem to have given as much exercise to the wits of Greece and Rome as, in modern times, to those of France and England. The Epitaph by Nicarchus served, probably, as a model for that of Martial :

"Lotus nobiscum est hilaris," &c.

Gay Tom supp'd last night, full of jest, sport, and wit,
To day, the poor fellow was laid on his bier.

Do you ask, Dick, the caue of so sudden a fit?
in a dream, Dr. B—m appear. M.

Tom saw,

"Sur quoy je veux faire deux contes," says Montaigne, and then proceeds, with the gravest simplicity, to ridicule the profession as unmercifully as ever did Rabelais or Le Sage, Lucillius or Martial, in the tale of the

Happy Valley of Lahontan ; ce petit état," which "s'étoit continué de toute ancienneté en une condition si heureuse qu'aucun juge voisin n'avoit esté en peine de s'informer de leur affaire, aucun advocat employé à leur donner advis, ni estranger appellé pour esteindre leurs querelles !" until, in an evil hour, the spirit of ambition, laying hold on one of the peaceful community, impelled him to send his son to be taught to read and write, and educated for an attorney: the law once introduced, physic was not long in following. Then

commencèrent ilz apprendre premièrement le nom de fiebvres, des rheumes, et des apostèmes," &c. &c. "Ils jurent que, depuis lors, seulement, ilz ont apperceu que le serain leur appesantissoit la teste, que le boire, ayant chaud, apportoit nuisance, et que les vents de l'automne estoyent plus griefs que ceux du printemps; que, depuis l'usage de cette medicine, ils se trouvent accablés d'une légion de maladies inaccoustumées; et qu'ils apperçoivent un général deschet en leur ancienne vigueur, et leurs vies de moitié raccourcies."

As the poets will have honourable mention in the next note, and the lawyers will also come in for their share in one subsequent, it would be but polite to insert the following compliment, translated from la Martinière, to the faculty, who might otherwise conceive themselves slighted by the omission :